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How to Deal With Annoying People


We all have those people in our life who drive us up a wall. They make choices we don’t understand and they do things that seem nonsensical. More importantly, they are annoying because they are not like us. We cannot comprehend what leads them to act the way they do or what drives their seemingly bizarre decisions.

For entrepreneurs and business leaders, effective leadership is about learning how to deal with all types of personalities — even the annoying ones. If we could better understand people’s “annoying” choices and behaviors — motivated by where they’re coming from or what they value – they would become far less annoying.

The truth is, everyone has their own Value Language – i.e., what drives someone to make life choices, what gets them up in the morning and informs their goals and actions — and most misunderstandings stem from simple differences in Value Languages. To understand “annoying” people, we have to first learn where they are coming from and what motivates them. Then, you can appeal to what they value, instead of what you value.

I have narrowed people’s Value Languages into 10 different categories. Use these to identify (and better communicate) with the “annoying” people in youroffice:

  1. Image. The first Value Language describes people who value image, beauty or aesthetic appearance above all else. These people spend huge amounts of time and money on their appearance either through clothes, plastic surgery or beauty regimes. In the office, they tend to annoy us by being late after spending too much time getting ready and making hires based on presentation rather than experience. They consistently pick romantic partners based on appearance rather than personality, and tend to be vain.
  2. Money. Money is one of the most powerful motivators. Those who subscribe to this Value Language don’t care how they make money or the consequences of obtaining it; they just want more of it. It’s not just white-collar criminals; it’s also those who annoy us by either being cheapskates in office holiday gift exchange or “gold diggers” constantly looking for free meals.
  3. Power. Authority, dominance and gaining more power are the biggest drivers for these people. Those who value power like to be able to influence or persuade others to do what they desire. They annoy us by trying to assert dominance in inappropriate situations (commandeering an office potluck), make power-hungry moves (taking credit for a work project they did not do) or throwing their company title in your face.

Read the rest of my article at Forbes: How to Deal With Annoying People

About Vanessa Van Edwards

Vanessa Van Edwards is a published author and behavioral investigator. She is a Huffington Post columnist and her courses and research has been featured on CNN, Forbes, Business Week and the Wall Street Journal. As a published Penguin author, Vanessa regularly speaks and appears in the media to talk about her research. She is a sought after consultant and speaker.


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