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Do you think you are an ambivert? I always have struggled with the question:
“Are you an extrovert or introvert?”
Like many people, I don’t quite fit into either category. In this article and video I want to introduce you to the concept of an ambivert.
What is an ambivert? An ambivert is someone who exhibits qualities of both introversion and extroversion, and can flip into either depending on their mood, context, and goals.
Ambiverts have also been called:
- Outgoing introverts: An introvert who can be outgoing in certain situations, around certain people, or when they absolutely need to.
- Antisocial extroverts: An extrovert who needs time to recharge before socializing, or who likes to be alone more than a typical extrovert.
- Social introverts: An introvert who can dial up into extroversion when needed.
Extroversion and introversion describe how someone reacts to people. Ambiverts are flexible in how they react to people.
- In the right context, in the right mood, around the right people, ambiverts can flip up into extroversion.
- In difficult contexts, when tired or cranky, or around toxic people, ambiverts can flip down into introversion.
Here are some of the differences between extroverts, ambiverts and introverts:
Research has found that how we react to people is physiological. This study found that we judge someone’s level of extroversion or introversion immediately–often based on facial structure. For example:
We can also self-select our tendency toward extroversion. Which explanation sounds more like you?
- I am drawn to people; I get energy from social gatherings, and am fairly outgoing. (Extrovert)
- It’s draining to be around lots of people. I prefer peace, solitude, and quiet time. I usually crave alone time in my free time. (Introvert)
- It depends. (Ambivert)
I will use the terms as labels for the sake of the article, but let’s get one thing straight:
Ambiversion Is Not a Label, It’s a Spectrum
Instead of thinking about extroversion or introversion as labels, let’s use an extroversion spectrum:
When I talk about the Big 5 Personality Traits, I explain the extroversion scale. You can rank low, high, or medium. People who fall in the middle of the spectrum are called ambiverts.
Why Ambiverts Are Amazing
Many people assume that extroverts are the best at sales, the best leaders, and the most successful at work—WRONG! Adam Grant, an associate professor at Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, analyzed 35 separate studies and found the statistical relationship between extroversion and income was basically zero.
He conducted a personality survey and collected three-month sales records for more than 300 salespeople, both male and female. The people who ranked right in the middle for extroversion and introversion–ambiverts–turned out to be the best salespeople.
“Ambiverts pulled in 24% more revenue than introverts, and a mind-boggling 32% more revenue than extroverts!”
Grant theorized that ambiverts seem to strike a balance between the two more extreme personality traits:
“The ambivert advantage stems from the tendency to be assertive and enthusiastic enough to persuade and close, but at the same time, listening carefully to customers and avoiding the appearance of being overly confident or excited,” Grant said.
1. Are You An Ambivert?
First, let’s find out how you rank on the scale. Do you think you might be an ambivert? Or do you know one in your life? Take the Ambivert Quiz:
2. Situational Introversion
Ambiverts typically slide up and down the spectrum depending on the situation, context, and people around them. I call this situational introversion.
For example, certain locations make me extremely nervous and quiet—nightclubs, rooftop bars, and stereotypically ‘chic’ places make me feel super out of place. Whereas, in learning environments — such as classrooms, workshops or seminars — you can’t get me to shut up. I constantly have my hand raised, try to make friends with everyone sitting within ten feet of me, and always ask for extra credit.
If you want to master your people skills you have to build a solid foundation.
3. Find Your Nourishing Locations
I split locations into three categories: Survive, Neutral, and Thrive.
Use this list of common places to find your top three thrive locations — places where you are your best self, and your top three survive locations — places where you dread going.
- House Party
- Board Rooms
- Office Meetings
- Coffee Shops
- Cocktail Party
- Backyard BBQ
- Networking Event
For example, here are mine:
When you know where you thrive, you can build your schedule and your time around the locations where you can be your best self.
4. Find Your Nourishing People
People also can affect where we fall on the extroversion scale. Who brings out the best in you? Are there people you dread seeing? How about people you can’t get enough of?
Right now, make a list of the toxic and nourishing people in your life:
See every person on that nourishing list? Text, email, or call them right now to get together.
See every person on that toxic list? You deserve to be around people who sustain you.
5. The Ambivert Advantage
Being able to balance both extroversion and introversion is an asset. Study these associated traits, courtesy of Larry Kim:
- Flexible: Ambiverts typically can adapt to context and situations more easily.
- Stable: According to psychologist Hans Eysenck, who coined the term “ambivert” in 1947, ambiverts offer a good balance between the hypersensitivity of some introverts and the domineering attitude of some extroverts.
- Intuitive: Daniel Pink said that ambiverts “know when to speak up and when to shut up, when to inspect and when to respond, when to push and when to hold back.”
6. Ambivert Problems
With all that flexibility comes some liabilities. Since ambiverts can be so flexible, they often run into a few problems:
- They love to talk to people, but want to plan it out first.
- They say yes to too many things because they aren’t sure what will work best for them.
- Their extroverted side says yes to things in the future, but then their introverted side had a hard day and no longer wants to go.
- When they’re in a bad mood…nothing sounds fun.
- They like going out only when they are in the right mood, with the right people.
- 18 more problems only ambiverts face.
Sometimes ambiverts are caught in the middle — between their desire to be extroverted and the needs of their introverted side.
7. Amplify Your Ambiversion
Now I want you to leverage your ambiversion! Here’s how:
“The ambivert advantage stems from the tendency to be assertive and enthusiastic enough to persuade and close, but at the same time, listening carefully to customers and avoiding the appearance of being overly confident or excited,” Grant said. Know when to flexibly use the traits that serve you.
I want you to take control of how you spend your time, and who you spend it with. I am giving you permission: you do not have to spend time with people who drain you, or in places that drain you.
Life is too short to spend time with toxic people in draining places!
If you have to see a toxic person—such as a family member or co-worker–use time-blocking to buffer time spent with them. If you know you’re going to see them, be sure to schedule in some recharge time for yourself before or after. You also can have an escape route or excuse ready to go if your time with them runs long. Use scheduling to your advantage by blocking out times and places that work best for your personality.
Here’s the ambivert pronunciation: am-buh-vurt
Remember: There is no right or wrong personality type. The only right thing to do is to live, act, and address who you really are. Act on your strengths, purge toxicity, and get to know your true self.