“I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth”. Did you know that this little sentence covers the most important lies we use daily? Let’s delve into it!
“I swear to tell the truth” – Lies of commission
If someone tells you something that is not a fact then we call this a lie of commission. This type of lie is telling someone something that is simply not true. You’re twisting the truth to create a (usually more favorable) version of something that happened.
Suppose I knew it was raining outside and you asked me about the weather. “Oh no problem, it’s perfectly sunny outside!” You would now be making a decision to dress for sunny weather based on the wrong information you were given.
How to tackle these lies:
For these lies to succeed, you have to be willing to believe the lie. It is something that has to sound plausible. The first step to tackling these lies is the determination not to be lied to. This will make you much more skeptical about what people tell you and lead you to double-check information.
Another way to expose these lies is by asking someone about the assumed lie later on. If he or she suddenly tells you a different story, then this probably means that there is something else going on- requiring a deeper investigation of what the truth really is.
“The whole truth” – Lies of omission
Another type of lie is one where you leave out an important part of information, hence the name lie of omission. In this lies, someone omits an important detail from a statement. These are nasty lies because they’re harder to spot and take less effort from the person who is lying.
Suppose you are buying a used car. You ask the car salesman about the state of the car you’re currently considering. “Oh, don’t worry about that! This car has had all of its scheduled maintenance done!” He fails to tell you, however, that the car has cost hundreds of dollars to replace important parts. So yes, the car has had all of the scheduled maintenance done, but to sell the car to you, the salesman leaves out the information about the cost of maintenance for this particular car.
How to tackle these lies:
In order to uncover these types of lies you’ll have to do a bit of digging. Find more information and double-check what you’re being told. The saying “Truth but verify” is certainly applicable here.
In the above example you could ask the salesman to show you the maintenance log of the car. Then, you would immediately see that the car has had a lot of replaced parts, which could tell you something about the car.
“And nothing but the truth”
Sometimes people will tell you something completely unrelated to the truth to cover up a lie. This is what we call a character lie or a lie of influence. These lies are meant to make you believe the liar or to make the liar seem like such a great person that they are unlikely to be suspected of lying.
Let’s look at an example. You work at the local Walmart and a colleague has been taking money from the cash registers. It’s your job to find out who it is. You interview Mary and ask her if she took the money. Her response is, “I’ve worked here for 15 years!” This is a typical character lie. By telling you how long she’s worked at Walmart, Mary is trying to make it seem highly unlikely that she took the money.
Note how she only told you how long she’s worked at Walmart! She has not told you that she didn’t take the money. Be very wary for these types of lies. Whenever someone is trying to convince you of how great they are like in the example above, they are probably attempting to cover something up.
How to tackle these types of lies:
Catching these lies is actually pretty easy. All you have to do is really listen to what someone is telling you. Are they giving you an answer to your question or are they just making a statement about themselves? If it’s the latter, then you need to ask the question again to get to the truth.
Now that you know how to distinguish the different types of lies, let’s see if you can manage to tell which type of lie is used in the following sentences.
A – I would never do something like that!
B – Q: Do I look fat in this dress? A: No, honey.
C – Q: Where were you yesterday? A: I went to the office (neglecting to tell you he also visited his mistress)
D – Q: Is this a good neighborhood to live in? A: Yes, we’re good friends with the people next door (not telling you the people across the street are really very nasty people).
E – Q: Are you having an affair? A: I’ve been happily married for 20 years!
F – Q: How much money are you making? A: About $3,000 a month (While actually making $2,200)
B and F: Lies of commission. Of course B is kind of a trick question because you would never tell your partner she looked fat in that dress, right? Either way, both are straightforward lies that tell you something other than the truth.
A and E: Lies of influence. These people are trying to make themselves look better to avoid suspicion. Saying “I would never do something like that” isn’t the same as “no”, which is the answer a truthful person would give you.
This guest post is by one of our body language experts in training: Michiel Andreae from The Netherlands. He loves to teach people how to improve their communication skills through body language and to coach people to make better use of their nonverbal skills. Find him on Twitter.