I believe in order to have successful body language, we have to explore our mistakes. And exploring our mistakes, makes us uncomfortable because it exposes our vulnerability.

Brene Brown explores the power of vulnerability in her Ted Talk and discusses her findings. For us explorers of body language, I think we can learn from three of her main points:

  • Making connections with others is the basis of life.
  • We don’t make connection because we feel we are not good enough. This causes shame.
  • To make real connection we have to have a strong sense of worthiness and be willing to be vulnerable.

These mirror some of the most powerful aspects of having successful body language.

  • Successful body language is about making powerful connections. 
  • We have unsuccessful body language when we have shame and feel vulnerable that we are not good enough.
  • To make real connection we have to have to be willing to have authentic body language and believe we are worthy.

I did not realize how essential vulnerability is to body language work until I watched both of Brene’s talks. Most of what we discuss in our body language courses is exposing our vulnerabilities through body language and tapping into what is real. To do this we have to have a great sense of self-worth–which is very hard!

I’m sharing these two videos and beginning to explore this idea on the blog because I think it is important to address the vulnerability that comes up while learning body language. If you learn that you are doing “submissive” body language you have to think about where it comes from before changing it. This can feel scary and make us feel ashamed. In fact, I hope here it is the opposite. I hope that we can see feelings of vulnerability and shame as the birthplace of change and improvement. When you can tap into the underlying emotions behind body language, that when we make real change.

So, please. Embrace what’s feel vulnerable. Use shame as a sign post to dig deeper. Let’s build our self-worth to make real connection.

Hi, I'm Vanessa!

Hi, I'm Vanessa!

Lead Investigator, Science of People

I'm the author of the national bestselling book Captivate, creator of People School, and human behavioral investigator in our lab.

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