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The Biggest Myths Holding My Students Back:
Myth #1: You’re born with people skills — and that’s as good as they get.
Everyone goes through a learning process for developing people skills. Some people start learning earlier and that early advantage compounds. While they may have gotten a head start, people skills are not “natural”. They’re nurtured.
Reality: No matter what level of people skills you have today, you can intentionally and strategically improve them.
The other truth: most people don’t know what makes them charismatic (or not). By learning the science of people skills step-by-step, you can become the best version of yourself and start intentionally driving your relationships forward.
Myth #2: People skills are designed for manipulation.
In my experience, the kind of people who want to consciously study and improve their social skills are almost always good people with good intentions; they’re just being held back by how they’re perceived.
They’re often smart, kind, trustworthy, and hard-working; but because they’ve never learned the science and art of communication, they send all the wrong signals. And it prevents people from seeing them for who they truly are.
Reality: Aligning your ideas and how you truly feel with the way people perceive you and letting your personality shine through isn’t being manipulative — it’s being authentic.
The goal of people skills isn’t to “trick” people — it’s to understand and be understood. That way you and the people you’re talking with are both set up for successful relationships. Learning people skills isn’t just good for you; it’s good for everyone around you.
Myth #3: You must be an extrovert to be charismatic.
Some of the most powerful, influential, and authentic communicators and leaders are extreme introverts. Some of the most spine-chilling, awkward, and inauthentic people I’ve met are extroverts. There is no one right way to be charismatic.
Reality: The best people skills are learned…and everyone has their own unique flavor of charisma.
If you learn the rules of communication, you’ll be more effective than an extrovert who doesn’t know the game being played around them. True mastery of people skills isn’t about learning to be like someone else, it’s about highlighting your own strengths and making it easier to share your thoughts and ideas. Anyone who tries to teach you to be like everyone else is setting you up to fail.
It is possible to strategically improve your social skills, become a leader, and present yourself with purpose and power — no matter your current level of social skills.