Whether you’re trying to be more witty, flirty, or be seen as an amateur comedian, making people laugh is a social superpower. Not everyone is a natural-born comedian, but that doesn’t mean you can’t add a splash of humor and fun to your conversations.
Funny Random Things to Say
1. After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF. 2. I tried to be normal once… the worst two minutes of my entire life. 3. I like to be an example for others. Usually a bad example, though. 4. Common sense is like deodorant—the people who need it most never seem to use it.
Funny Things to Say to Your Friends
5. Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch. 6. I’d choose your company over pizza anytime. And that’s the best compliment I can give. 7. I love that our easygoing friendship fits perfectly with my laziness. 8. Of all the goofballs in the world, you are my favorite.
Funny Things to Say to Your Boyfriend
9. You’re like asthma. You just take my breath away. 10. What do boyfriends and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion. 11. I love you with all my butt. I would say my heart, but it’s just not as big. 12. If you order pizza tonight, I am at your service, baby!
Funny Things to Say to a Girl
13. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see. 14. If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put “U” and “I” together. 15. How much does a polar bear weigh? … Enough to break the ice. 16. My name is ____, but you can call me any time.
Funny Things to Say in a Birthday Card
17. You’re one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without the Facebook reminder. 18. I wanted you to know it’s not my birthday yet, my birthday is [ ]. 19. Today marks the anniversary of the day you dove into the world head-first! 20. Congrats, you’re not dead yet!