How to Get Someone to Confess or Tell the Truth

Science-backed techniques to get someone to confess or divulge information—using empathy, strategic evidence, and active listening.

Do you know how accurate the average person is at detecting a lie? About 54%—barely better than a coin flip.

According to researcher Pamela Meyer, you may be lied to anywhere from ten to two hundred times per day. Strangers lie to each other roughly three times within the first ten minutes of meeting. And most of us have no idea it’s happening.

You don’t need a polygraph to get closer to the truth. You need a little behavioral psychology. These are evidence-based techniques you can use to encourage someone to tell the truth, confess, or divulge information—whether that someone is a colleague, a teenager, a friend, or a real estate agent who seems a little too enthusiastic about that “cozy” basement apartment.

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A quick note on framing: Some of these techniques apply when you suspect someone of wrongdoing and want a confession. Others are useful when someone is simply withholding information—not because they did anything wrong, but because they’re nervous, private, or unsure whether to trust you. Use these tips for positive truth-seeking—hard truth is better than ignorant bliss. And at the end of this article, you’ll find an important section on why ethical boundaries matter, because coerced “truth” isn’t truth at all.

In practice, we call the person we’re interviewing or trying to get information from our subject—your kid, your spouse, your colleague, your car salesman.

Let Silence Do the Work

The biggest mistake truth-seekers make is talking too much. After your subject finishes speaking, wait at least 3 to 5 seconds before you say anything.

Research from the ORBIT model (Observing Rapport-Based Interpersonal Techniques) found that when interviewers combined silence with empathy, subjects were five times more likely to provide a comprehensive account. Liars are especially uncomfortable with silence—they’ll often fill it with additional details, corrections, or even admissions.

Action Step: Ask your question, then silently count to five before speaking again. Resist the urge to rephrase or prompt. Let the quiet do the work.

Use the Triple Nod

When someone finishes speaking, nod three times in a slow, steady rhythm. This signals interest and encourages them to keep talking. Dr. Joseph Matarazzo’s research found that nodding roughly tripled speakers’ response length. A Hokkaido University study found nodding increases perceived likability by about 30%.

Pair nodding with silence from Tip #1 and you create a powerful combination that makes the speaker feel heard—without you saying a word.

A cultural note: Nodding signals agreement in most Western cultures, but varies globally. In Bulgaria, a side-to-side movement means “yes.” In Greece, an upward nod can mean “no.” Know your audience.

Liars are especially uncomfortable with silence. They’ll often fill it with additional details, corrections, or even admissions.

Choose a Private Setting

Privacy reduces self-consciousness and social performance pressure. When people aren’t worried about being overheard or judged, they’re far more likely to open up. The goal is intimacy, not intimidation.

Action Step: Choose a quiet room where it’s just the two of you. A coffee shop corner works. A group dinner does not.

Don’t Reveal What You Know (The SUE Technique)

The Strategic Use of Evidence (SUE) technique, developed by psychologists Pär Anders Granhag and Maria Hartwig, is one of the most scientifically validated approaches to getting the truth. (Think of it as the chess move of truth-seeking—you already know where the pieces are; you’re just waiting for them to make the wrong move.)

How to use it:

1. Let the person tell their full story first. Don’t interrupt or hint at what you know.
2. Ask specific questions related to evidence you have—without revealing it. (“What did you do between 3 and 5 PM?”)
3. Then reveal the evidence. If they lied, they’re caught in a contradiction.

Guilty people avoid mentioning anything that connects them to the evidence. Innocent people freely share information because they assume the truth will clear them. In studies, investigators trained in SUE achieved 85% deception detection accuracy, compared to 56% for untrained interviewers.

Example: You suspect your teenager took money from your wallet and have a receipt showing you had $60 yesterday. Let them tell you about their afternoon first, then show the receipt. If their story doesn’t account for the missing cash, the contradiction speaks for itself.

Investigators trained in the SUE technique achieved about 85% accuracy at detecting deception—compared to just 56% for untrained interviewers.

Ask Open-Ended Questions (Then Change the Telling)

Simple yes-or-no questions are easy to lie through. Ask questions that require stories:

• “Tell me the story of last night.”
• “Walk me through what happened from the beginning.”

Then use psychologist Aldert Vrij’s cognitive load technique: ask them to tell the story in a different way—backwards, or starting from the middle. Vrij’s research found that reverse-order recall improved lie detection accuracy from about 42% to roughly 60%. Truth-tellers can “rewind” a real memory; liars have a rehearsed script that falls apart when the order changes.

Important caveat: Reverse recall is hard for everyone. Look for changes from someone’s baseline behavior, not perfection.

Listen to Their Words, Not Just Their Body

Watching body language while trying to detect lies actually makes you worse at it. A 2025 University of Portsmouth study found lie detection accuracy nearly doubled when people focused solely on listening—about 62% accuracy for listeners vs. 35% for watchers. That popular belief about liars looking up and to the right? Thoroughly debunked.

What to listen for instead:

• “Honestly…” / “Believe me…” — Truth-tellers rarely feel the need to announce their honesty.
• Fewer “I” and “me” statements — Liars subconsciously distance themselves from the lie.
• More passive voice — “The glass broke” instead of “I broke the glass.”
• Fewer verifiable details — Especially specific names, places, and times.

For a deeper dive into reading people, check out our guide to body language cues and our how to read people article.

Action Step: Next time you suspect someone isn’t being straight with you, look away and just listen. Focus on the content, not the performance.

Play Good Cop (But Know the Limits)

Empathy beats pressure. The ORBIT model found that when interviewers used empathy and respected the subject’s autonomy, subjects were five times more likely to provide a comprehensive account.

Here’s how to be the Good Cop:

• Be reassuring. Let them know what they did is understandable.
• Show you see their perspective. Were they pressured? Scared?
• Use the autonomy paradox. Tell them: “It’s entirely up to you whether you talk about this.” Counterintuitively, this makes people more likely to cooperate.

A critical caveat: The Innocence Project reports that about 29% of DNA exoneration cases involved false confessions—and minimization tactics are a major contributor. These techniques are for everyday interpersonal situations, not for pressuring vulnerable people in high-stakes situations.

When interviewers used empathy and respected the subject’s autonomy, subjects were five times more likely to provide a comprehensive account.

Use the “Worse Version” Technique

People can’t help but correct misinformation—especially about themselves. Tell the subject a more extreme version of what you think happened and see if they correct you.

This technique traces back to WWII interrogator Hanns Scharff, who extracted intelligence from over 500 Allied pilots by presenting slightly wrong narratives and letting prisoners correct the inaccuracies. They felt like they were winning an argument, not giving away secrets.

The everyday version: if you think your teenager took 20 from your wallet, ask if they took 20 and your credit card. They’ll often correct you and admit to the smaller offense. Correcting feels like defending yourself, not confessing.

Build Real Rapport (Why Connection Beats Detection)

In Paul Ekman and Maureen O’Sullivan’s 1991 study testing 509 people across professions, U.S. Secret Service agents were the only group to perform significantly better than chance at detecting lies (~64% accuracy). Judges, police officers, and psychiatrists all hovered around 53–56%.

People who build genuine trust—teachers, therapists, social workers—tend to get more truthful information. Not because they “detect” lies better, but because people voluntarily open up to them. Rapport is the master key. (Turns out being a decent human is a competitive advantage.) Want to build yours? Our guide to building rapport has you covered.

A Word of Caution: False Confessions Are Real

The Innocence Project reports that about 29% of DNA exoneration cases involved false confessions. Psychologist Saul Kassin identifies three types: voluntary (no pressure at all), compliant (to escape stress), and internalized (where the person actually comes to believe they did it).

The cruelest irony? Innocent people may be more likely to waive their rights because they trust their innocence will protect them. As Kassin puts it: “Innocence puts innocents at risk.”

Use these techniques responsibly—for everyday truth-seeking, not for breaking someone down.

How to Get Someone to Confess: Key Takeaways

Here’s your five-step framework for getting closer to the truth:

1. Create a private, comfortable setting. Privacy reduces defensiveness. Intimacy—not intimidation—opens people up.
2. Let them talk. Use silence, the Triple Nod, and open-ended questions to keep them going.
3. Listen to their words more than their body. Verbal cues are far more reliable than body language “tells.”
4. Strategically use what you know. The SUE technique is one of the most powerful tools available.
5. Lead with empathy, not pressure. Rapport-based approaches yield five times more information than accusatorial ones.

The best way to get someone to tell the truth? Tell the truth yourself. If you come from a place of honesty, you’re far more likely to receive it back.

The best way to get someone to tell the truth? Tell the truth yourself.

Frequently Asked Questions