The Relational Paradox: The Deep Hurt of Hiding Your True Self

I have struggled with this topic for a long time, but I think it is really important to share. It’s called the Relational Paradox. The Relational Paradox: As humans we really want deep, fulfilling relationships. To get these relationships we want people to like us....

Attachment Theory Quiz: Which of the 4 Styles Are You?

Have you ever noticed you are dating the same kind of person over and over again? This might not be your imagination or coincidence. It could be Attachment Theory at work, which says we each have a specific attachment style. Attachment Style: Our tendencies and...

Learn How to Make Friends As An Adult Using These 5 Steps

I hit my social peak at five years old. Kindergarten was da bomb, let me tell you. I was double-booked for play dates. I frequently had three, yes THREE birthday parties in the same weekend. During lunch, I had a system to hang out with all of my friends. I would eat...

Why Rejection Hurts According to Science

I have a question for you: Would you rather break an arm or be broken up with? We asked our Twitter followers this question and 76% said they would rather break an arm, while 24% said they would rather be broken up with. This response is stunning, because breaking an...

How We Get Out of Childhood Alive

I recently read an amazing book by Benjamin Zander and Rosamund Stone called The Art of Possibility. While I was reading, there was a particular passage that popped out at me and it got me thinking about how our childhood shapes our personalities.   Here at the...

Are You Afraid of Being Alone?

One time I was hanging out with a friend whose husband was away for the weekend. It was nice out so we went for a hike and out for brunch. We had a lovely morning, but once it came time to say goodbye, my friend’s behavior changed. She began questioning me for any...

The Obligatory Friend

Can you grow out of friendships? Sadly, I think the answer is yes. Does this story sound familiar to you: I met Sophie on a writer’s retreat. We bonded immediately—standing in line to get our room keys. I loved her shoes, she loved my scarf. We both tried to eat...

The Science of Frenemies

Do you know what the worst kind of relationship is? Not difficult people. Not enablers. Not toxic people. Nope. Ambivalent relationships cause the most emotional strain, take the most energy and are the most toxic. But what is an ambivalent relationship? Here are some...

Do You Think Pick-up Lines Work?

Do you think pick-up lines work? When I asked my twitter followers this question, only 30% of people responded with the affirmative. While I wasn’t surprised by this response, I do think that the negative reputation that pick-up lines have isn’t entirely earned. Check...

How to End a Friendship: Do You Need to Break up?

Let me explain a people puzzle that always has perplexed me: It’s okay to date. It’s okay to define a romantic relationship. It’s okay to re-evaluate a partnership. It’s okay to breakup. It’s hard in romantic relationships, but it is okay—if not essential–to be...
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