19 First Date Tips Guaranteed to Land Your Second Date

Congratulations, you’ve worked up the courage to ask that special someone out, and they’ve said yes! 

Now comes the hard part. You want to plan your date to make sure you have a great time and show how much you’re interested. But you also don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard or investing a lot in something that may not work out.

It can all get super nerve-wracking, but fear not—I’ve put together 19 tips to help you nail that first date and secure a second! 

Choose the Right Location

The location you choose sets the tone for your date. Unless you know their preferences, pick a neutral, low-pressure place where you can focus on getting to know each other.

The last thing you want is to be stuck at a fancy restaurant discovering you don’t “click” before the food arrives. Can somebody say “Awkward”? Instead, try a local bar or hip coffee shop. If it feels uncomfortable, you can leave after one drink. Or better, if you hit it off, you have the freedom to continue your date.

For a fun twist, try pool at a bar—as reddit user FoolsGoldDogApe^{1 https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/bp84rb/comment/enrdgjy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} suggests, it’s “a pretty relaxed sort of game with plenty of room to chat but enough gameplay to fill lulls in conversation.”

Ask These 5 Questions

If you’re quiet or have social anxiety, having an engaging conversation with someone new can be nerve-wracking. Luckily, science has your back. Studies show that genuine curiosity beats rehearsed lines every time.

Try these great questions:

• Are you working on any personal passion projects?
• What’s the best present you ever gave someone?
• What does a typical day look like for you?
• What sort of vacations do you like to take?
• Anything surprising happen today?

Never Say THESE Things on a First Date

Getting your mind right before a date might sound fluffy, but research^{2 https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548} shows it makes a real difference. While you can’t control chemistry or attraction, you can control what you say—and more importantly, what you DON’T say. It’s a good idea to avoid these topics on a first date:

• “My mom says…” Moms are great, but generally don’t belong on a first date… especially when you’re going in for the first kiss.
• Politics. These are the anti-social lubricant and can create division.
• Numbers. Don’t ask how many dates they’ve been on or how long they’ve been on dating apps—this leads to comparison that can be a trap!
• “When I was with my ex…” Steer clear of mentioning anything about your ex! This can bring up bad feelings for both parties.
• The Billboard Check. Before you say something, think about: “Could I put this topic on a billboard with my face on it?” 

Most importantly, keep your conversation balanced. As redditor BarracudaLeft5993^{3 https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/rxt247/comment/hrkeu8d/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} emphasizes: “I just want a man to show interest in me and not dominate the conversation.”

Want to make a lasting impression on your first date? Check out our book:

Be Aware of Your Body Language

Your nonverbals speak louder than words. If you’re interested in what your date’s saying, don’t fold your arms. Tilt your head toward them and lean in. As redditor IfImhappyyourehappy^{4 https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o4s4nm/comment/h2jf5c6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} advises: “Learn to hold eye contact without being intimidating and read their facial expressions to better gauge how they’re feeling in the moment.”

Research has identified three key attraction signals:

• Mirroring: Subtly copy their movements—studies^{5 http://study} show we naturally mirror people we like
• Fronting: Face your whole body toward them (especially those toes!)
• Leaning: Moving closer shows interest; backing away signals discomfort

Bonus Tip: Research^{6 http://spr.sagepub.com/content/early/2014/10/20/0265407514554512.abstract} shows sweet tastes make us feel more attracted. Want to end on a high note? Treat them to dessert.

Be Interested to Be Interesting

Everyone enjoys talking about themselves. When your date brings up something you know nothing about, don’t shut down—ask for more information! 

Curiosity is exciting and shows intelligence and zest for life. We’ve talked about the psychology of attraction before and discovered that one of the best things we can do to bypass the brain’s naturally short attention span is to be intriguing, interesting, and engaging. 

Struggling with how to show interest? It’s simpler than it sounds:

• Ask thoughtful follow-up questions about topics they bring up
• When conversation slows, dig deeper into their previous answers
• Let genuine curiosity guide you rather than relying on rehearsed stories
• Show enthusiasm when they share something they’re passionate about

Just remember not to turn it into an interrogation!

Don’t Obsess Over Perfect Compatibility

Here’s my favorite dating tip—mostly because it’s the reason I’m with my husband. When I first met him, I nearly dismissed him as “just a computer programmer.” Must be analytical, must be shy, must not be creative, right?

Oof! Even writing this makes me squirm. Turns out he’s one of the most creative people I know. What kept me giving him a chance? Despite having different careers and hobbies (except our mutual love for coffee shops!), we clicked on what really matters—our core values aligned perfectly.

Sometimes our perfect match has nothing to do with what’s on paper. Research^{7 http://www.livescience.com/15511-lasting-marriage-personality-match-matter.html} even shows that differences in personality can strengthen relationships. So focus on values and genuine connection—you might be surprised where it leads.

Dress for Confidence, Not Just Looks

Feeling comfortable in your clothes is your greatest style asset!

When you feel comfortable and at ease in your outfit, you can focus on the fun part: getting to know your date. Remember, your best style is one that lets your authentic self shine through.

Your pre-date checklist should include:

• Choose clothes that match both the venue and your personality
• Pick something you’ve worn before and know you feel great in
• Pay attention to grooming and hygiene
• Wear something weather-appropriate (nothing kills your vibe like being too hot or cold!)

Text Smart Before You Meet

Want to increase your chances of a great first date? The magic often starts before you even meet. Research^{8 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0747563215300820?via%3Dihub} shows that building light rapport through texting can create a sense of connectedness for those with social anxiety, which can in return reduce those first-date jitters. But here’s the catch—you need the right balance.

Reddit user PrettyLittlePenguin^{9 https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o4s4nm/hundreds_of_first_dates_here_are_my_tips/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} offers this pro tip: “Keep her warm before the date, send some fun texts. You can’t just set up a date, be silent for 5 days and then expect her to show. She’ll probably find a reason to not come if you didn’t make her feel comfortable in the days before.”

The sweet spot for pre-date texting:

• Keep messages light and positive
• Share small details about your day to build familiarity
• Ask occasional questions that show you remember previous conversations
• Don’t overdo it—save the real getting-to-know-you for the date itself

Need some inspiration to keep the convo going over text? Check out 190 Good Conversation Starters For Texting (in Any Situation).

Prioritize Safety (Without Sacrificing Fun)

Let’s talk safety. The most confident and relaxed daters are usually the ones with solid backup plans in place. After all, no matter how many messages you’ve exchanged or mutual friends you share, meeting someone for the first time means meeting a stranger.

As Redditor starskyandbutch^{10 https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/v99bjm/comment/ibvfw54/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} advises: “I always let at least two people know where I will be and will tell them my date’s name. I always make my own way to the date.” I love this practical approach to dating safety. Before you get swept up in the excitement of meeting someone new, take care of the basics:

• Drive yourself or arrange your own transportation
• Meet in a well-lit public place
• Share your location with a trusted friend
• Keep your phone charged and accessible

Remember, you can leave anytime you feel uncomfortable. The right person will respect your boundaries from the start.

Make Your Stories Count

Skip the resume rundown and rehearsed tales. Research^{11 https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10904018.2015.1037445} shows we connect better with people who share authentic, meaningful stories. Not every story that’s exciting to tell is exciting to hear, though.

The best dating stories:

• Show your values in action
• Include a bit of vulnerability
• Have a positive or funny ending
• Give your date easy ways to relate or respond

For example, share how you discovered your passion for cooking through a hilarious kitchen disaster, rather than listing your accomplishments. Or tell the story of helping a stranger that made you rethink your career path, instead of just stating your job title.

As PrettyLittlePenguin^{12 https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o4s4nm/hundreds_of_first_dates_here_are_my_tips/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} notes: “Show passion, if she asks what you do in life and you say ‘well uhm, I do computer stuff, I work in IT you know?’ Screw that, you choose that career for a reason, show how enthusiastic you are, that’s a lot better. Passion and enthusiasm are contagious.”

For more tips on how to tell a great story, check out How to Tell a Great Story: Learn Science of Storytelling.

Stay True to Your Timeline

Looking for something serious? Or do you wanna keep it casual for now? Before you even pick a spot for your date, get clear about what you want. 

PrettyLittlePenguin^{9 https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o4s4nm/hundreds_of_first_dates_here_are_my_tips/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} writes: “Different kinds of goals have different date approaches, plan accordingly.” If you’re looking for a relationship, for example, it’s best to pick somewhere that’s “not too loud and where you can hear each other properly.”

Being honest with yourself about your dating goals helps you be more authentic on the date itself. You’ll choose better locations, ask more relevant questions, and give off clearer signals. 

Be a Class Act About Money

Nothing kills romance faster than awkwardness about the bill. Here’s a simple rule: If you asked for the date, offer to pay. But there’s more nuance to modern dating etiquette than that.

Redditor k0ol-G-r4p^{13 https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/zaovjo/comment/iyom4mh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} has some rather straightforward advice on this issue: “DON’T ASK HER TO SPLIT/PAY, you plan the date and you pay. If she is insistent on paying, tell her she’s got the next date.” This smooth response turns a potentially awkward moment into a playful hint at date number two.

From the other side of the table, PastelTacos^{14 https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/19bu5b3/comment/kiuu1oc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} offers this thoughtful advice: “If this is a ‘getting food/drinks’ date of any kind and the other person is paying, pick something of equal or lesser value to what they’re ordering. I always ask the guy what he’s thinking of ordering to subtly figure out how much he’s paying for his own meal; then I set that as my personal spending limit.”

The key is handling money matters with grace and consideration. Whether you’re treating or being treated, a little awareness goes a long way in keeping the focus where it belongs—on getting to know each other.

Read (and Respect) Social Cues

Dating success often comes down to noticing the little signals. Think of it like a dance—the best partners are the ones who can read and respond to each other’s movements. Some people call it chemistry, but really, it’s about paying attention.

Watch for signs of interest or discomfort:

• Are they leaning in or pulling back?
• Do their questions feel genuinely curious or merely polite?
• Are they building on your conversation or giving short answers?
• Does their smile reach their eyes?
• Are they mirroring your gestures and energy?
• Do they seem relaxed or tense?

Most importantly, respect what these cues tell you. If someone’s body language says they’re uncomfortable, give them space—no matter what their words say. And remember, mixed signals usually aren’t mixed at all. When someone’s truly interested, their whole being tends to show it, from their toes pointing toward you to their genuine laughter at your jokes.

Navigate Physical Touch Thoughtfully

Physical chemistry is part of dating, but rushing it can ruin a great connection. Research shows that the right amount of touch can increase attraction (even in a non-romantic context!)—but timing is everything.

Redditor pm_me_ur_misfortunes^{15 https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/bp84rb/tips_for_conquering_a_first_date/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} suggests starting small: “Low-key touching (like hand holding) is absolutely acceptable, but be respectful about it (i.e. ‘Do you mind if we hold hands?’).” And k0ol-G-r4p^{16 https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/zaovjo/comment/iyom4mh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} adds: “Don’t be touchy and sexual. When you meet, go with the gentle one arm hug.”

Make sure to read the moment and respect boundaries:

• Begin with safe, socially acceptable touches like a brief hello hug
• Let touch happen naturally through shared activities
• Pay attention to how they respond—if they stiffen or pull away, take the hint
• Remember that good chemistry builds gradually

The most memorable connections often start with the smallest moments of touch—a light brush of hands while reaching for drinks, a steady arm while walking on uneven ground, or a genuine hug when the moment feels right. Whatever you do, don’t force it!

Handle Awkward Moments With Grace

Let’s be real—even great first dates can have awkward moments. Those weird silences, the drink you accidentally spill, the joke that doesn’t quite land—they’re all part of being human. And sometimes these little imperfect moments can actually make a date more memorable than a perfectly polished one.

PrettyLittlePenguin^{17 https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o4s4nm/hundreds_of_first_dates_here_are_my_tips/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} offers this gem: “You’re probably both nervous. You’re both hoping it’s gonna be a fun date if you show up and want to have a good time. While you’re nervous the other person is secretly also your cheerleader cause that person also wants you to be fun.”

When silence falls or something awkward happens:

• Acknowledge it lightly if appropriate
• Keep your sense of humor
• Remember your date is probably just as nervous
• Use the moment to be authentically human

Bring Back Playful Moments

Who says dating has to be all grown-up and serious? The most memorable connections often happen when we let our guard down and tap into that playful spirit we all have inside. 

PrettyLittlePenguin^{18 https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o4s4nm/hundreds_of_first_dates_here_are_my_tips/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} shares a secret: “Things that were fun as you were a kid are still fun now. Thumb wrestling, silly games and all that are good ways to have some easy fun.”

Research^{19 https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/evolutionary-human-sciences/article/adult-playful-individuals-have-more-long-and-shortterm-relationships/C6F025906BD5678DC13F723E5FD6BF77} backs this up: playfulness in adults is directly associated with relationship success. Plus, sharing a laugh creates faster chemistry than any rehearsed conversation ever could.

Want to lighten the mood? Try:

• Simple games like “two truths and a lie”
• People-watching challenges (“What’s that person’s story?”)
• Silly bets about trivial things
• Sharing embarrassing (but funny) stories
• Creating inside jokes about your surroundings

Build Connection Through Food Choices

Here’s a fascinating dating secret: what you order might matter more than you think. Research^{20 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1057740816300481} has found that sharing similar foods actually helps people form deeper connections and trust more quickly.

Think about it—food choices reveal subtle things about personality and values. Do you both dive into spicy dishes? Share a sweet tooth? Get excited about trying new cuisines? These small alignments can hint at deeper compatibility. Plus, sharing food is inherently intimate: we literally trust what we put in our bodies.

Want an easy way to build rapport? Share a small plate or appetizer. Just keep it natural—authentic food choices tell a better story than trying to copy your date’s order.

Make an Entrance (and Exit) Worth Remembering

Ever notice how the beginning and end of experiences stick in our memory the most? Psychology calls this the primacy and recency effect—and it’s especially true for first dates. So while everyone knows first impressions matter, that final impression might be just as crucial for landing date number two.

k0ol-G-r4p^{13 https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/zaovjo/comment/iyom4mh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button} recommends keeps the entrance simple: “Be on time, be yourself and be honest.” Then maintain that authentic energy throughout your date. But here’s where most people slip up—they let the date peter out until it ends with an awkward “well, this was fun…”

Instead, master the perfect exit strategy:

• End on a high note (don’t wait for the energy to fade)
• Be clear about your interest in seeing them again
• Follow up within 24 hours if you’d like another date
• Keep the goodbye warm but brief

Think of it like a great song—you want a strong opening hook and an even stronger finish. Those moments will likely be what your date remembers most when deciding about that second date.

Don’t Sweat the Follow-up

“Should I text again now? Tomorrow morning? In 24 hours? Did they even like me? I don’t wanna come on too strong or needy!”

Many of us have experienced that dreaded storm of post-date neuroticism. They’re totally valid thoughts, but the best tip I can give here is to just realize that you’re probably overthinking it!

The truth is, how you approach that first date follow-up probably isn’t going to make or break your chances for a second. So take a deep breath, relax, and just shoot them a message whenever you feel ready.

pm_me_ur_misfortunes suggests a simple but effective approach: “After time has passed, shoot them an upfront message. ‘Hey, I really enjoyed last night and I would love to have a second date. Are you free to (do X activity) on (X date) at (X time)?’”

It really doesn’t need to be more complicated than that!

If they’re interested, they’ll either say yes or suggest another time. If they just say they’re “busy,” take the hint and leave the ball in their court.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About First Dates 

Ready for Your First Date?

First dates are an exciting opportunity to connect with someone new, so relax and enjoy the experience! 

Stay authentic, show genuine interest in your date, and focus on having fun together.Want to make sure you don’t sabotage your chances? Check out our guide on 7 Things You Should Never Say on a First Date to avoid common pitfalls!