How to Stop Being Clingy: 17 Best Tips in Relationships

A shocking recent study^{1https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1474704920987807} revealed clinginess as one of the biggest relationship turn-offs

Feeling clingy or needy for attention can stem from a lack of self-esteem or a fear of rejection. If you’ve been clingy in the past or felt someone clinging to you, you know how detrimental it can be to a longer-term friendship or relationship.

Fortunately, there are many simple self-awareness and personal growth strategies to free yourself and others from clingy behavior. Here are 15 science-backed strategies on how to stop being clingy so that you can maintain balanced, healthy connections with others.

What Does it Mean to Be Clingy?

To be clingy is to stay highly close or dependent on someone for emotional support and a sense of security. Clingy people may feel desperate to latch onto their friend or partner and depend on them for constant check-ins, updates, and responsiveness to all needs.

The signs of clinginess may be unique to different relationships and cultures. Not everyone will consider the same things to be clingy, but these are the most common clingy behavior “red flags”:

• Constantly asking for reassurance (“Do you really love me?” “Are you sure you’re my friend?”)
• Fear of being alone
• Feeling very insecure
• Obsessively worrying that people don’t like you or don’t want to be around you
• Putting friends on a pedestal or thinking they are perfect
• Feeling jealous when friends or partners hang out with other people
• Radically changing tastes when around new people (acting so much a “social chameleon” that you do not show up as who you truly are)
• Stalking someone’s social media
• Texting lots of messages at once
• Calling someone several times a day
• Demanding to know where someone is or who they are with
• Compulsively checking for text messages from a friend or partner
• Feeling panicked when someone doesn’t respond

Why Am I Clingy?

Many people use clinginess as a coping mechanism to feel more secure. They keep their friends or romantic partners as close as possible to reduce the possibility of cheating or jealousy.

Research^{2https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK356196/} shows that clingy behavior often stems from underlying psychological patterns—many rooted in childhood experiences:

Childhood Factors Behind Clinginess

• Fear of abandonment: Perhaps you experienced abandonment or rejection in childhood
• Insecure attachment: How your caregivers responded to your needs as a child shapes your adult attachment style
• Childhood trauma: Traumatic experiences can create uncertainty about relationships
• Poor modeling: You may not have seen healthy relationships modeled growing up

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Adult Factors Leading to Clingy Behavior

• Low self-esteem: Feeling unworthy of love or attention
• Fear of rejection: Worrying others will leave if you don’t hold tight
• Anxiety: General anxiety can manifest as relationship anxiety
• Past relationship trauma: Previous betrayals or sudden breakups
• Unrealistic expectations: Media-influenced ideas about “perfect” relationships
• Lack of identity: Not having a strong sense of self outside relationships

If you’re wondering “why am I clingy,” understanding these factors can help you address the root causes rather than just the symptoms.

17 Science-Backed Tips to Stop Being Clingy

Clingy people often seek something in others to help them feel complete, secure, or in control.

Ending clinginess requires digging down beneath the surface to excavate the hidden reasons behind your desire for intense closeness and dependency.

Here’s how to stop being clingy once and for all so that you can feel free to love and enjoy people without depending on them for your sense of security.

Determine If You’re Actually Being Clingy

Sometimes clinginess comes down to personal preferences. Different people are OK with varying levels of closeness based on their attachment styles and upbringing.

Every person, culture, and situation has a different way of defining what “clingy” is and what is not. To find out if you are clingy, directly ask for people’s opinions in your life. You can also observe how they respond to you in different situations.

Action Tip #1: If you want to confront clinginess head-on, start chatting with a trusted friend or family member.

You can ask your friend a few of these questions to help uncover whether or not you are clingy:

• “I’ve been doing some self-reflection, and I realized that sometimes I can be kind of needy for attention. Are there any social cues I’ve missed from you or others trying to tell me that I’m being too needy?”
• “I care about people a lot, and sometimes I think I can be too much. Do you think I am too intense at times?”
• “How much communication feels good for you at this point in our friendship? Will you let me know if I am ever texting or calling you too often?”
• “I know you’re busy and don’t want to take up too much of your time. Do you need some extra space or is our level of interaction at a good point for you?”

Action Tip #2: If you feel awkward directly asking someone their opinion on you, you can take the observation route instead.

Check to see if your friends are giving off any of these signals that you may be a little too clingy:

• They avoid or cancel plans
• They don’t mention other friends or acquaintances in front of you
• They seem exasperated or annoyed when you ask for repeated validation
• They say “I need some space”
• When you express your worries about your other relationships to them, they tell you to “stop thinking worst-case scenario” or insist “they’re just busy”
• They try to hang out with you in groups
• They try to create more distance between your friendship

Pro Tip: If you realize that you are being clingy in a relationship, there is no need to panic or feel ashamed. Instead, dedicating some time to focus on your personal growth can help uncover why you feel so attached to people in your life.

Understand Your Attachment Style

Attachment styles describe how people behave and interact with others based on their upbringing and relationships with their childhood caregivers.

Psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth first developed the Adult Attachment Theory in the 1950s, and it has since been refined by researchers worldwide. Their theory can help you better understand why you may act certain ways in your adult relationships.

Studies show that there are four major types of attachment that come from certain childhood experiences:

1. Secure: Secure attachment comes from healthy childhood experiences with caretakers who were present and available to meet their needs. They typically feel secure and protected in their adult relationships and are less prone to “needy” behavior.
2. Avoidant: People with an avoidant attachment may seem emotionally unavailable, reluctant to share intimacy, and dismissive of others. They have difficulty reaching out in times of need and are almost the opposite of “clingy”. Often, they seem to attract clingy people because they tend to withdraw when others try to get close to them.
3. Anxious/Ambivalent: People who were raised with unavailable or inconsistent caregivers may have a more anxious attachment. They feel anxiety about whether or not people really love them and may be preoccupied with the actions, words, or schedule of others, leading to “needy” behavior.
4. Disorganized: Typically people who experienced childhood trauma or unpredictable caretakers have a disorganized attachment. They may lack coping strategies for dealing with life’s daily challenges and as a result can be unreliable, inconsistent, or even fearful of close friendships or relationships.

Anyone can experience a tendency toward clingy behavior, but anxious and disorganized attachment styles are more likely to feel needy in their friendships.

Action Step: Take an attachment style quiz and reflect on how your childhood experiences have affected your adult relationships. Understanding your attachment style(s) can be very useful for developing self-love and building a foundation for more security in your relationships.

Dig Down to the Root Cause

Clinginess is most commonly an outward symptom of a deeper issue.

Clingy behavior is a signal calling attention to something about yourself you need to address—usually your own need for certainty or validation.

Unfortunately, insecure clinginess can result in a toxic cycle of neediness. You may feel afraid of judgment, so you reach out for more support and validation from your friends. This could make them pull away from you, leading you into a downward spiral.

One way to break that cycle is by taking responsibility into your own hands instead of relying on others to “fix” you.

Action Tip: If you want to get to the bottom of your clinginess, begin with a few reflections and journaling prompts. This exercise is a great starting point, but you may need a professional therapist or counselor to help sort through messier emotions that you don’t feel equipped to handle on your own. 

1. Clear your area and start with a piece of blank paper.
2. Take a few deep breaths and then read each question below.
3. Write the first answer that comes to mind. 
4. Don’t judge yourself or edit your answers. Simply jot them down and move to the next.
5. Remember, nobody will ever read this and you can even scrap the paper when you are done. This is simply a reflection exercise to help address subconscious feelings you may have repressed.

Helpful questions to ask when trying to get to the root cause of clinginess include:

• How do you define a healthy friendship or relationship?
• What does intimacy mean to you?
• How do you nurture the people close to you in your life?
• Are you afraid of being alone? If so, why?
• How do you feel when someone you care about is too busy for you at the moment?
• What fears arise when people don’t respond to you right away? 
• What does good communication look like? 

Think you might be dealing with some deeper issues? Consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist to get some help. Mental Health America has a great resource to find the help you might need.

Let People Feel Free

Attachment and clinginess can make people feel trapped or suffocated by your presence.

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

This profound quote from Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that love and friendship can exist without overtaking your life. It is vital to share connections with people without feeling too attached or possessive of them.

If you care about someone, it is essential to let them know by spending quality time with them and expressing gratitude. However, monopolizing someone’s time or maintaining constant communication could make them feel cornered or smothered.

If you want the people you care about to feel free, remember to give them the space they need to thrive.

Action Step: Create more freedom in your relationships by dedicating special alone-time for yourself. Mark an hour in your calendar specifically for “me-time.” Turn off your phone and use this hour to do your favorite hobby, take a walk, or practice a self-care ritual. Research indicates that alone time is linked to greater confidence^{3https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0140197118301957?dgcid=rss_sd_all}, higher emotional intelligence^{4https://www.counseling.org/docs/default-source/vistas/exploring-the-role-of-time-alone-in-modern-culture.pdf?sfvrsn=95441979_11}, more creativity^{5https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1468-5914.00204}, and greater emotional stability^{6https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17032494/} in challenging situations.

Create an Inspiring Life

If you want to figure out how to stop being needy, fill your schedule with more hobbies, lessons, projects, and friendships. The fuller your life is, the less time you have to worry about whether or not people are thinking of you.

Sometimes clinginess can come from boredom or low-lying anxiety.

If you don’t have enough things to preoccupy your mind, you may check your phone every 5 minutes, hoping your friend or crush texted you.

This is problematic on multiple levels:

1. You are preoccupied with what other people are doing rather than focusing on what you are doing
2. You feel disappointed when nobody has contacted you
3. You waste your time in cycles of worry that they don’t like you anymore
4. You may become annoying to the other person
5. You give off the vibe that you are not working on anything interesting, which could make you be perceived as boring

In psychology, this relates to the Scarcity Principle^{7https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/mar.4220080105}: people are magnetized to things that are available in limited supply. Companies use scarcity and exclusivity to sell thousand-dollar designer bags or limited edition cars.

Studies show that people who play “hard to get” are more desirable^{8https://www.researchgate.net/publication/264223276_Playing_Hard-To-Get_Manipulating_One%27S_Perceived_Availability_as_A_Mate} to prospective mates. When your time is available in unlimited supply, your interactions are not as “scarce” or unique.

On the flip side, when you live a full life with more inspiration, hobbies, and things to talk about, your time becomes more precious, and your friends could want to spend more time with you.

Action Step: Fill your time with more work, research, activities, and trying new things. Start a new hobby, sign up for a class, join a club, or volunteer for a cause you care about. Check out our guide on 40 Productive Things to do When You’re Bored.

Don’t Idolize Your Friends or Partners

Putting someone on a pedestal means you begin to admire them so much that you can’t see their flaws or think they are perfect. You may elevate them in your mind, adore everything about them, and do anything to be in their presence.

This most commonly stems from feeling inferior. When you idolize friends or partners, you may begin to think of them as better than you, leading to more feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and clingy behavior.

Idolizing may look like this:

• Thinking they are perfect or flawless
• Seeing them as “larger than life” or better than you
• Feeling desperate to be around them
• Having a hard time noticing their flaws
• Wishing you were more like them instead of embracing your own uniqueness
• Copying them
• Trying to dress or act like them
• Crafting your identity around being friends with them
• Sacrificing your own time or well-being for them

While you may be connected to some incredible people, avoid putting them on a pedestal by remembering that they are only human. You can look up to them for inspiration, but you must remember not to idolize them as “better than you.”

Action Step: Think of 5-10 things you genuinely admire about your friend or partner. Next, write down 5-10 things that make you utterly unique and valuable. This helps you remember that they are not “above you”—you both bring unique attributes to the table.

Respect Boundaries and Establish Your Own

One of the most challenging things about clinginess is crossing boundaries. Understanding how to set boundaries is crucial for ending clingy behavior altogether.

Boundaries are essentially the “rules” of interacting in your relationships. If you don’t understand others’ boundaries, it can be hard to know whether or not you are being clingy.

Clear boundaries define healthy relationships that everyone involved understands:

• How often you want to communicate (text, call, or in-person)
• How frequently you see each other
• What types of topics you avoid discussing
• When each person needs time to themselves
• How you interact with each other

Action Step: Brainstorm 5-10 boundaries you’d like to discuss with your close friend or significant other. For example, you may only want to hang out once per week on Sundays. Sharing this boundary will result in fewer feelings of clinginess because you won’t constantly be waiting for the next time to see them.

Diversify Your Social Groups

If you notice yourself starting to cling to one specific person, consider getting out of your comfort zone and expanding your social group.

There are many benefits to maintaining a diverse network of friends:

• More opportunities for personal growth
• Exposure to different ways of thinking and living
• Unique conversation topics
• More networking and professional development
• Avoid fixating on one person

Every time you go out to a new place, start a new job, attend a Meetup, or sign up for a new class, you are putting yourself in a situation to meet new people. Take advantage of the opportunity to expand your friend group so that you don’t feel so clingy to one person.

Action Step: Learn the science-backed tips popular people use to attract more friendships. Put them into practice in new social situations to diversify your friend group.

Avoid Hierarchies of Friends

“Best” friendships can be incredibly nourishing and exciting because they allow for a depth of connection.

However, categorizing your friendships can also be a sign of clinginess. You may feel attached or possessive over your “best” friend, perhaps getting jealous when they hang out with other people.

Instead of seeking “best” friends, avoid creating a hierarchy of friendships.

Instead, think of your friends as unique individuals who each play different roles in your life.

One friend may be your gym buddy, while your other friend is who you like to cook with. Thinking of one individual as your “everything” friend could be a warning sign of clinginess.

Action Step: Make a list of your different friends and what unique value each brings to your life. Appreciate their different qualities rather than ranking them in importance.

Build Your Self-Confidence

At the core of clingy behavior often lies a lack of self-confidence. When you don’t feel secure in your own worth, you may seek constant validation from others.

Research suggests that people with higher self-esteem tend to have healthier, more balanced relationships. They don’t need others to constantly affirm their value because they already believe in themselves.

Some ways to build self-confidence include:

• Identifying and challenging negative self-talk
• Celebrating your achievements, no matter how small
• Setting and accomplishing goals
• Practicing self-compassion when you make mistakes
• Focusing on your strengths rather than comparing yourself to others
• Taking care of your physical health through nutrition, exercise, and sleep

One of the keys to developing self-confidence is trusting yourself. Find out more by reading: How to Trust Yourself and Build Self-Confidence.

Action Step: Every evening for a week, write down three things you did well that day. They don’t need to be major accomplishments—even small wins count. This practice helps train your brain to notice your capabilities rather than your perceived shortcomings.

Practice Mindfulness

Clingy behavior often stems from anxiety about the future or rumination about the past. Mindfulness—the practice of being fully present in the moment—can help break this cycle.

While mindfulness might conjure up scenes of zen-like meditation sessions, mindfulness is actually a skill you can practice at any time or place. 

Studies show that regular mindfulness practice reduces anxiety and improves emotional regulation, which can help you respond more thoughtfully to relationship situations rather than reacting from a place of insecurity.

Mindfulness helps you:

• Notice when clingy urges arise without automatically acting on them
• Observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment
• Stay grounded when separation anxiety kicks in
• Build tolerance for uncomfortable feelings without seeking immediate reassurance
• Recognize when your mind is creating catastrophic scenarios about your relationships

Action Step: Try a simple 5-minute mindfulness practice: Focus on your breathing, and when your mind wanders to worries about your relationship, gently bring your attention back to your breath. Practice this daily to strengthen your ability to stay present.

Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company

Many clingy people avoid being alone because they don’t enjoy their own company or fear what they might feel in solitude. Yet learning to enjoy time with yourself is essential for healthy relationships.

When you genuinely enjoy spending time alone, you bring a sense of wholeness to your relationships rather than a desperate need to fill an empty space.

Some benefits of enjoying your own company include:

• Discovering your authentic interests and preferences
• Developing self-reliance and problem-solving skills
• Building comfort with your own thoughts and feelings
• Creating space for creativity and self-discovery
• Reducing the pressure you place on others to fulfill all your social needs

Action Step: Plan a “solo date” this week. Choose an activity you enjoy—perhaps a movie, a visit to a museum, or a meal at your favorite restaurant—and experience it alone. Notice how it feels to navigate this experience independently and what you learn about yourself in the process.

Use Healthy Communication Instead of Clinginess

Clingy behavior often results from poor communication. Instead of clearly expressing your needs, you might hover around someone hoping they’ll figure out what you want or bombard them with texts because you’re unsure where you stand.

Learning to communicate directly and respectfully can eliminate much of the anxiety that drives clinginess.

Healthy communication includes:

• Using “I” statements to express your feelings (“I feel worried when I don’t hear from you” rather than “You never text me back”)
• Being specific about your needs without making demands
• Listening to understand, not just to respond
• Respecting others’ communication preferences and boundaries
• Checking your assumptions before jumping to conclusions

Action Step: The next time you feel anxious about a relationship, challenge yourself to have one honest, direct conversation instead of engaging in clingy behaviors. Express your feelings calmly and be open to hearing the other person’s perspective.

Learn How to Not Be Clingy Over Text

Texting has made communicating with your friends more effortless than ever. Still, it can also give a false illusion that everyone is available all the time. Clingy people want attention and validation from their friends right now. Secure individuals tend to recognize that people have hectic lives. Therefore they may not respond on time.

Instead of constantly reaching out on your own, practice these guidelines for how to avoid being clingy over text:

• Don’t constantly text first
• Alternate invites. Invite them sometimes, but also wait for invites from them
• Avoid sending multiple texts at a time
• Keep texts short
• Wait a little while to respond to texts
• Plan for a phone call or hangout instead of dumping large volumes of information in text message
• Turn off audio text notifications on your phone
• Avoid constantly checking your phone for texts

Action Step: If you feel the need to impulsively text your friends out of boredom or a need for attention, distract yourself with something interesting like watching a new TED Talk, perusing your favorite social media channel, or reading a book about your favorite topic.

Practice the “70/30 Rule” in Relationships

Relationship counselor Garrett Coan advises the “70/30” rule: the most harmonious marriages spend roughly 70% of their time together and 30% apart.

This principle can be applied to any relationship. Having separate space and time allows both people to:

• Maintain their individual identity
• Pursue personal interests and goals
• Bring fresh energy and experiences back to the relationship
• Avoid becoming overly dependent on each other
• Appreciate the time they do spend together

The specific ratio might vary based on personality and preference, but the principle remains the same: healthy relationships involve both togetherness and separateness.

Action Step: Identify one personal interest or goal that doesn’t involve your partner or close friend. Dedicate specific time each week to pursuing this interest, and notice how it affects your overall sense of fulfillment and the quality of your time together.

Manage Your Digital Triggers

In today’s digital age, social media and instant messaging have created new challenges for those struggling with clingy tendencies. The very tools designed to keep us connected can actually intensify unhealthy attachment behaviors.

Digital communication creates unique pressures that can encourage clinginess:

• Constant connectivity creates an expectation of immediate responses
• “Last seen” statuses and read receipts can trigger anxiety
• The ability to see when someone is online but not responding to you can intensify feelings of rejection
• Social media posts showing your friends or partner having fun without you can spark jealousy

These features can become obsession points for someone with clingy tendencies, creating a cycle of checking, worrying, and seeking reassurance.

To break free from digital dependency, try implementing these strategies:

• Turn off read receipts on your messaging apps
• Disable online status indicators where possible
• Use app limits or screen time settings to restrict social media use
• Consider deleting social media apps from your phone (access via browser instead)
• Schedule specific times to check messages rather than responding immediately

Action Step: Implement a “digital detox” at least one day per week. Put your phone in airplane mode or leave it in another room for set periods. Notice how your anxiety levels change when you’re not constantly checking to see if others are online or what they’re doing.

Rewire Your Brain for Secure Attachment

The science of neuroplasticity offers hope for anyone wondering how to stop being clingy. Our brains remain remarkably adaptable throughout our lives, allowing us to literally rewire our attachment patterns and emotional responses with consistent practice.

Research shows that specific activities help create new neural pathways that support more secure attachment patterns:

• Mindfulness meditation: Regular meditation strengthens your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for emotional regulation and rational decision-making
• Cognitive reframing: Challenging negative thought patterns weakens the neural connections that fuel clingy behaviors
• Building secure relationships: Positive interactions with secure individuals provide a template for your brain to follow
• Evidence-based therapies: Approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) provide structured ways to recognize and change unhelpful patterns

Just as clingy patterns developed over time, creating new, healthier patterns requires regular practice.

Action Step: Choose one research-based practice (meditation, journaling, or cognitive reframing exercises) and commit to it for at least 10 minutes daily for one month. This consistency helps build new neural pathways that support healthier attachment behaviors. Remember that small, consistent efforts are more effective than occasional intense sessions.

How to Not Be Clingy in a Relationship

A 2021 study found that clingy behavior is the biggest turn-off in romantic relationships. The survey of over 1,400 young adults in their twenties and thirties reported 78 difficulties they’ve experienced in relationships. 

Clinginess and neediness rang in at the top of the list, ahead of fading passion, bad sex, and even infidelity! 

No one wants to be the clingy one in a romantic situation. People are psychologically more attracted to those who are “hard to get.” 

But persistent media representation of intense “give you everything” types of relationships can lead to unrealistic ideas of romance. It is simply impractical and unproductive to spend every waking hour yearning for another person’s attention. 

Modern notions of love portray someone as “completing you” or becoming “your better half” in the media. Hollywood often romanticizes feeling broken and lost until you find this perfect person that somehow completes you.

First, recognize this pattern in the media and explore why it may not play out well in real life. This perspective can be incredibly damaging to romantic relationships. 

A healthy, secure attachment style is founded on boundaries and mutual desire. 

If you want to avoid clinginess in a romantic relationship, work on communicating those boundaries and practicing your independence:

Set clear communication boundaries (when you text, how often, etc.)

• Openly express your needs
• Independently explore your own hobbies
• Make time for other relationships in your lives
• Remember the 70/30 rule we covered earlier
• Grow your own self-confidence

For two people to come together as a strong relationship, they need to be rooted in their confidence, security, and life path. 

Once you learn how to stand on your own and love yourself for who you truly are, you can bring that love into a relationship without risking needy or clingy attachment.  

Understand Love Languages

Understanding the concept of love languages—a framework developed by Dr. Gary Chapman—can be transformative in learning how to avoid being clingy in relationships. Love languages describe the different ways people prefer to give and receive love.

The five love languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken or written words, praise, or appreciation
2. Acts of Service: Actions that help your partner or show you care, like cooking a meal or running errands
3. Receiving Gifts: Giving thoughtful presents that show you were thinking of the person
4. Quality Time: Giving your undivided attention and spending meaningful time together
5. Physical Touch: Expressing affection through physical contact like holding hands, hugging, or kissing

Different love languages can sometimes contribute to clingy behavior. If your primary love language is quality time or physical touch, you might seem clingy to a partner whose love language is acts of service or words of affirmation.

For example, if you crave constant togetherness because your love language is quality time, but your partner feels loved through acts of service, there’s a fundamental mismatch in how you’re expressing love. You might be seeking more time together when your partner would feel more connected if you helped with tasks instead.

Learning to understand and speak each other’s love languages can help you feel more secure with less contact:

• If your partner values words of affirmation, a meaningful text in the morning might sustain them all day
• If their love language is acts of service, doing something helpful before separating may help them feel connected even when apart
• If they value gifts, leaving a small token or note can maintain connection during absences

When both partners understand what makes the other feel loved, you can meet each other’s emotional needs more efficiently, reducing the need for clingy behaviors.

Action Step: Take the love languages assessment with your partner and discuss how you can meet each other’s needs efficiently without becoming overbearing. Make a list of specific ways to express love in your partner’s primary language that don’t require constant presence or interaction.

Cultivate Healthy Interdependence and Avoid Codependence

How to not be clingy in a relationship requires finding the balance between independence and connection. Many people confuse interdependence (healthy) with codependence (unhealthy).

Codependence occurs when your sense of purpose and identity becomes excessively wrapped up in another person. In codependent relationships, one or both partners rely on each other for their sense of self-worth, making it nearly impossible to function independently. This often leads to clingy, controlling behaviors, enabling harmful habits, and sacrificing your own needs.

By contrast, interdependence means two people maintain their individuality while choosing to share their lives. Each person remains whole on their own but recognizes the value and support they gain from the relationship.

To develop healthy interdependence:

• Maintain friendships: Keep nurturing relationships outside your romantic partnership
• Continue personal hobbies: Don’t abandon activities you enjoyed before the relationship
• Share rather than merge financial resources: Consider having both joint and separate accounts
• Respect personal space: Recognize that even couples living together need private time and space
• Practice healthy dependency: Learn to ask directly for support when needed, rather than hinting or hovering

Research shows that interdependent relationships report higher satisfaction and longevity. When both partners maintain their individuality while supporting each other, they bring fresh energy and perspectives to the relationship.

Action Step: Identify one area where you’ve become overly dependent on your partner and take one concrete step toward greater independence in that area this week. This might mean rekindling an old friendship, resuming a hobby you let slide, or handling a task you’ve been relying on your partner to manage.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About How to Stop Being Clingy

The Clingy Takeaways: How to Stop Being Needy

If you’ve found yourself being clingy in any friendship or relationship, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Clinginess is a common phenomenon amongst people with certain attachment styles, insecurities, and behavior patterns. 

Fortunately, you can stop being clingy by practicing a few mindset and habit shifts:

• Ask people if you are “too needy” or intense; clingy behaviors often manifest as a dependency, fear of loneliness, or seeking validation.
• Clinginess is a signal calling attention to something about yourself you need to fix. Examine your insecurities and work to improve your self-esteem. 
• Living an entire life of hobbies, work, and diverse interests leaves little time for clinging to other people. Replace boredom with productive activities. 
• Take a quiz to learn your attachment style and help uncover how your childhood may shape your adult relationships.
• Avoid idolizing your friends. Putting people on a pedestal only hurts you in the long run.
• Clear boundaries around time and communication are like the “rules” of a relationship to help maintain your independence.

Remember that clinginess is a no-win situation. It doesn’t benefit you or the other person. It can often wind up pushing them away and making you feel bad about yourself. 

Almost everyone experiences minor insecurities in their interactions with other people. After all, you are only human. Everyone is wired to want love and acceptance. Still, it is crucial to balance your relationships with others with your love for yourself. 

Learn How to Love Yourself in 17 Ways to start your journey away from clinginess toward more internal fulfillment.