Reading Male Body Language: 18 Signs He Secretly Likes You

"Is he into me?" Here are 18 male body language signs he's into you—plus how to read them in clusters so you're not fooled by any single cue.

Want to find out the signs he’s into you?

In the world of body language, there are many subtle signs that give away attraction and interest. Watch my video below, and learn the 7 body language secrets from experts!

In this article, you will learn:

• the body part men find the most irresistible on a woman (hint: it’s not what you think)
• the #1 body language cue that men love more than ANYTHING else
• why the way he looks at you reveals his level of attraction
• how men and women lie differently

Now, let’s dive straight in.

One rule before you start: No single gesture proves attraction. The cues below mean the most when several of them cluster together, and when you read them against his baseline, meaning how he normally stands, looks, and moves when he’s relaxed. A lot of “attraction” signals (leaning in, laughing, open posture) overlap with ordinary friendliness or simple comfort, so watch for a shift from his baseline.

Pro Tip: Want to listen to the article instead? Check out the podcast version below!

Which Body Part Attracts Guys Most?

Do you know the answer? Is it:

1. face
2. butt
3. breasts
4. stomach

Click to Reveal Answer

A widely-shared survey from online pharmacy Dr. Felix asked American men aged 18–65 what body part they found most attractive. The answer? a) the face! Keep in mind it’s a marketing poll run by a pharmacy, so treat it as a fun data point about preferences.

A common pop-evolutionary story says features like large eyes, a small nose, full lips, and high cheeks look attractive because they’re loosely associated with estrogen and so hint at fertility. It’s a popular idea, but the evidence for it is mixed. In men, women tend to favor legs, butt, chest, and arms, with the butt often coming out on top.

What Body Language Do Guys Find Attractive?

Another question! Do you know which body language cue men find the most attractive in women? Is it:

1. smiling
2. exposing your neck
3. biting your lip
4. being available

Click to Reveal Answer

The answer is d) being available. Studies show that men are more attracted to a woman who engages in flirtatious behavior to show she is available, versus the best-looking woman in the room¹.

So if you want to attract a man, try demonstrating your own flirtatious body language and showing him you’re available.

He’ll Touch You Back

A subtle trick to see if he likes you is to give him a light touch. Simply touch his upper arm playfully or while you’re laughing and see how he reacts. He might not touch back, but if he does, that’s a strong green light.

Men who are attracted to you might even engage in more touch. If a man actively tries to touch you during your interaction, it may mean he wants to get closer to you or close the distance between you two.

His Pupils Might Dilate

Look closely at his pupils. Are they larger than you’d expect for the lighting? Pupils do widen with emotional and physical arousal.

They also get bigger in dim light and smaller in bright light, and they widen with any kind of arousal or hard mental effort, including surprise and plain concentration. So “big pupils = he likes me” overstates it. Let it point you toward the stronger cues instead: his gaze, his posture, and whether he touches your arm.

Pro Tip: If someone is engaged with you, you might notice their eyes look more alert and “lit up,” even if they’re tired. It’s the opposite of the glazed look we get staring at a screen, and it’s a better tell than pupil size, which you can’t really measure across a candlelit table anyway.

He’ll Make Extra Eye Contact

If you’re at a bar or in a social setting, take a look around. Men who are attracted may try to make eye contact with you.

Eye-contact seeking is a gesture we make when we want to start a conversation in social or dating situations—we scan around until we make eye contact as a way to say, “I am here, please talk to me”.²

You might even see repeated attempts to connect eye to eye, with a gentleness in his eyes, face, and mouth. Unlike the serial killer look.

Watch this scene from the movie La La Land to get an idea of how strong eye contact works (timestamp 3:29):

His Eyes Will Dip

Watch his eye movements. Do they show eye dipping to “take you all in?”

When a man is interested, he tends to make lots of eye contact, with the occasional dip. Eye dips are when the eye moves in a triangle shape—from one eye to the other, for the most part, but occasionally they will “dip” down below the neck area. In eye-tracking research, men looking at photos of women spent most of their attention on the face, the chest, and the midriff¹.

So if you catch him looking at the ground, he might actually be trying to take a quick glance at your body.

He’ll Get Closer

You might notice an attempt to get a little physically closer to you. Men who are interested may try to close the distance by:

• choosing to sit next to you at a restaurant, instead of across from you
• leaning forward
• standing physically closer to you or even touching you while walking

These behaviors indicate he’s comfortable around you. He might even try taking up more space or getting closer into your intimate zone. And it works: men who take up more space tend to receive more attention¹.

Want to spark instant chemistry? Watch our video to learn the best dating icebreakers:

He Will Flex His Muscles

One of the biggest physical differences in men and women is the amount of muscle our bodies have. A man who’s interested may show subtle behaviors that emphasize muscle tone¹:

• straightening the back out to increase the size of the chest
• keeping shoulders rolled back and wide to emphasize a V-shaped body
• sucking in the stomach
• tightening forearms or upper arm muscles

Note: These movements will be subtle! You likely won’t see him flexing like a bodybuilder… unless he IS one.

He’ll Turn His Torso Toward You

Men who are interested in you will likely face directly toward you during conversation. Even if you’re with a group, he might turn his whole torso to face you. Watch to see if he’s trying to “close you off” and keep you to himself. He might even position himself in a way that makes it harder for others to enter into a conversation, or he might stand apart from his friends so he can be in the spotlight.

This is a great sign! It means he’s more receptive toward you than others. A close friend told me a story of how a man approached her and her friends and talked to every single one of them but her. She thought she was being ignored but then noticed his torso was facing her the entire time. It turns out he wanted her phone number all along!

He’ll Make You Laugh

Men who are trying to win you over might try to make you laugh. Making someone laugh is one way men display confidence, and it usually works in their favor.

If he’s cracking jokes or acting funnier than usual, it’s a good sign he’s getting his flirt on. And the more a man makes you laugh, the more attractive you’re likely to find him.

And guess what? Men are also attracted to others who laugh with them. So if he’s telling you that one pickup line about how you’re the only ten he sees… then share a laugh to show him you’re interested!

He’ll Preen Himself

Men preen themselves to look their best. When around someone he likes, preening behaviors may go up¹:

• Rearranging clothes. Unbuttoning the top of his shirt, adjusting his suit, straightening his socks, and readjusting his tie can be subtle preening behaviors to look for. Men want to look clean and powerful around others, unless they’re going for that rebellious look.
• Fixing his hair. Men may check for loose strands of hair or ruffle it to make sure everything’s in place. Preening the hair not only makes it appear better groomed, but it also draws attention to the hair since our eyes are attracted to movement.
• Glancing in the mirror. If you’re walking by a mirror or window, you might notice him paying close attention to his appearance. He might be checking to see if his outfit is wrinkled or his hair is in place.

He Might Angle His Feet Toward You

There’s a popular body-language idea that our feet “point where we want to go.” So if his toes are aimed at you, the theory says his attention is too. It can line up with interest, but hold it loosely. Foot direction depends on all sorts of mundane things: where the chair faces, a sore knee, or who else is talking. And there isn’t good evidence for the “his feet point to the exit when he’s bored” version.

His Lips Will Slightly Part Open

Slightly parted lips draw attention to his mouth. You might even notice his lips parting when you first make eye contact. This is a nonverbal way of saying, “You just took my breath away from me.” You might even notice men parting their lips right before they go in for the kiss.

He’ll Play With His Drink

If he wants to touch you but can’t for some reason, his desire to touch you might transfer to other objects³. You might notice him playing with the stem of his wine glass or circling his finger on the rim of his glass.

You can also reciprocate if you notice this behavior—start mirroring his body language, and you’ll both catch on to what’s really happening.

Side Note: Touching other objects can also be an anxious body language cue, so watch for other body language to confirm your suspicions.

His Face Will Be More Expressive

Women tend to make more facial expressions than men overall, especially positive ones, though it varies by emotion². Still, a man who’s attracted to you might be more facially expressive than usual, and women rate expressiveness as one of the things they find attractive in a man³. Heck, there’s a reason why many people find Russell Brand attractive:

Watch for the 7 different microexpressions to determine what emotions he is showing. If he’s attracted to you, he’ll likely show more positive facial expressions. In most cases, you’ll see happiness if he’s attracted to you**.** This means you might notice the Duchenne marker right around his eyes. This indicates a genuine smile, compared to a socially polite one.

His Voice Will Be More Positive

Do you know the vocal cues? Men who are excited and psychologically aroused may use more inflection in their voice, and their voice may be more expressive than normal. This is a great sign he’s into you. Think of the last time you were excited and how your voice sounded, compared to your voice at a routine physical checkup at the doctor’s. Totally different, right?

Men who are trying to control their excitement may even deepen their voice to sound more authoritative and collected. And if you want to maximize your voice, head on over to our article on How to Speak With Confidence and Sound Better.

His Nostrils Will Flare

Nostril flaring is when the nose widens momentarily to pull in more air. It’s common before exertion or a confrontation, but it can also show up with excitement and arousal. If he’s keyed up around you, you might catch a quick flare in a moment of anticipation. It isn’t about smelling your pheromones, by the way. There’s no well-established human sex pheromone.

On the other hand, if you tease him, and you notice a nostril flare, it might mean he’s getting angry. In this case, it might be best to lay off the teasing—you may have hit a vulnerable spot!

His Body Language Will Open Up

One thing you might notice if he’s attracted to you is open body language. This means he is NOT:

• crossing his arms
• putting objects between you, creating a barrier
• turning his torso away

Instead, he is displaying open body language:

• keeping his hands uncrossed from his torso
• removing objects between him and you
• keeping his forehead pointed toward you, instead of away

Open body language is attractive, and men will often open up without thinking about it if they like you. In a field study of 144 speed dates, the daters who opened up and took up space were the ones most likely to get a “yes”⁴. Warmth on its own didn’t have the same pull.

Each step up in how much space a dater took made a “yes” from that partner about 76% more likely! You can also reciprocate if the man is opening up toward you. Open up to him, as well, to increase your attraction points!

Try incorporating open body language when you’re getting your flirt on.

He’ll Laugh With You

Laughter is a universal language that transcends cultures and brings people together. But did you know that a man’s laughter can reveal a lot about his attraction and interest?

One of the telltale signs of attraction is mirroring, and this extends to laughter as well. If he’s genuinely interested in you, he’s likely to mirror your laughter patterns. This means he’ll laugh when you laugh, often at the same jokes or moments, creating a sense of connection and rapport.

Subtle Cue: Try changing the tone or style of your laughter during the conversation and observe if he follows suit. Mirroring laughter is an unconscious behavior that signals he wants to be in sync with you.

Not all laughter is created equal. Sometimes, a man may laugh politely to be courteous, even if he’s not particularly interested. This polite laughter tends to be more restrained and lacks the genuine enthusiasm and spontaneity of authentic laughter.

Key Indicator: Watch for the sincerity in his laughter. Does he have that contagious, wholehearted laughter that comes from genuine amusement? Or does it feel forced and obligatory?

On the flip side, nervousness or anxiety can also trigger laughter. If he’s feeling a bit jittery around you because of his attraction, he might laugh more than usual as a way to relieve tension. This nervous laughter is often accompanied by other subtle signs of attraction, such as fidgeting or fiddling with objects.

Observational Clue: Keep an eye out for moments when the laughter seems a bit out of place or excessive. It could be his body’s way of coping with the excitement of being around you.

He’ll Mirror Your Body Language

Mirroring is a way of imitating another person’s body language. People mirror when they find the other person interesting, want to build rapport, or if they’re attracted to them. Look for mirroring in the following ways:

• The arms. If you cross your arms, does he cross them, too? If you put one hand on your hip, does his body language follow?
• Leaning. Are you both leaning close or leaning against the wall?
• The legs. Watch his leg movements. If you’re both sitting down on a sofa, are your legs both crossed? Both open?

Now, mirroring doesn’t have to be exact. If it’s too close to our own movements, we may even consciously notice. Subtle mirroring displays are usually subconscious and can give away a man’s interest.

Are Men Good at Reading Body Language?

On average, women are a bit better than men at reading body language. Research across hundreds of studies found a small advantage for women on emotion-recognition tasks, and the size of it shifts depending on the emotion and who’s showing it⁵. So if you’ve heard that men don’t pick up on cues as well as women do, that’s roughly right, though the gap is smaller than the stereotype suggests.

Men also miss a lot of opening moves. One observational study cataloged 52 nonverbal cues women use to show interest, and among the most common was a quick sideways glance lasting two or three seconds, which is easy to miss if you’re not looking for it⁶.

So he may need a clearer cue than you’d expect. If you want him to notice, make the cue you’re sending a little bigger and hold it a beat longer.

Even though there are differences, that doesn’t mean he won’t leak flirtation cues of his own.

Do Men Lie When Flirting?

Men and women lie differently, and the difference is mostly about who the lie is for. In two diary studies of everyday lying, people told more self-centered lies than lies meant to protect someone else, with one exception: women talking to other women told about as many of each⁷.

• Self-centered lies make the teller look more powerful, interesting, or successful. If a man is trying to woo you, he may stretch the truth about his talents, skills, and experiences.
• Other-oriented lies protect someone else’s feelings. Asked “How does my suit look?”, a friend may answer generously to keep the peace.

Nervous or Attracted? You Decide

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if a man is attracted to you and/or really nervous. Some men might close down because they’re so nervous—I even had a man sweat profusely, bite his nails, and make little eye contact during a date but later become completely relaxed after chatting for an hour. Here are 2 nervous cues you might see during a date.

His Hands Are Buried in His Pockets

Open hands are a good sign he’s comfortable and relaxed. If his hands are shoved deep into his pockets, however, he may be insecure or uncomfortable. You might even notice this when you meet a stranger on Tinder. Gesturing and other hand movements are a great way to tell he’s open to you.

He Might Be Tense

Think about how a comfortable man stands: arms loose at his sides, weight settled, nothing crossed. A tense man hunches his shoulders and folds his arms across his chest. Attracted men usually look relaxed, because they’re receptive to getting closer to you.

Look for these signs of open body language:

• Arms. Are his arms more open around you? Are they freely moving and not held closely to his body? Men are more likely to fold their arms across their torso when they’re not interested, and to open up when they are⁴.
• Legs. Crossed legs doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not into you. If they are crossed, make sure to note the direction of his knees to see if he’s pointing toward you or away from you.

However, closed body language is a common sign of nerves. If it’s the beginning of a date, you might notice closed body language. Watch to see if his body language gradually opens up as the date progresses and he gets more comfortable.

Bonus: How Do You Tell If He’s NOT Interested?

A great way to check if he’s not interested in you is to take everything you learned and look for the opposites:

• Is he avoiding touching you?
• Is his torso pointed waaaay toward the exit?
• Is his face expressionless with you but not around his buddies?
• Is his body leaning so far away that you can’t even touch him?

Opposite cues are all signs of disinterest. Pay close attention to his body. Even from one moment to the next, the dynamics of attraction can shift as emotions change. You might even notice him making negative facial microexpressions:

• Disgust. If he’s totally not into you, you’ll notice his nose wrinkle up, and you might even see his upper teeth showing. If you touch his arm or give him a few eyebrow flashes of flirtation, and he responds with disgust… sorry, but he’s probably not that interested.
• Anger. Anger microexpressions can be as subtle as a quick lowering of the eyebrows or pursed lips. If he’s chasing, and you’re playing hard to get, watch to see if he’s really cool as a cucumber, or if he’s playing it off and actually getting angry.

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Sources:

1 Knapp, M. L., & Hall, J. A. (2014). Nonverbal communication in human interaction. Boston: Wadsworth Cengage Learning. 2 Navarro, J. (2018). The dictionary of body language: A field guide to human behavior. New York, NY: William Morrow, an imprint of HarperCollins. 3 Navarro, J., & Karlins, M. (2015). What every BODY is saying: An ex-FBI agent’s guide to speed-reading people. New York, NY: Harper Collins. 4 Pease, A. (2017). The definitive book of body language: How to read others’ attitudes by their gestures. London: Orion.

Side Note: As much as possible we tried to use academic research or expert opinion for this master body language guide. Occasionally, when we could not find research we include anecdotes that are helpful. As more research comes out on nonverbal behavior we will be sure to add it!