20 Examples of Female Body Language of Attraction

Can you read female body language? In this post, I will go through the cues you should know.

First, watch the video below for a primer on body language:

Are Women Better Than Men At Reading Body Language?

Sorry guys, but science shows that women are better at sending and picking up body language cues than men. Here’s how:

• Monica Moore, a professor of experimental psychology at Webster University in St. Louis, found men often miss a woman’s first eye-gazing courtship signal. On average, women need to eye gaze three times before a man takes notice.

Women might be better at reading body language because more of their brain is active when they evaluate others’ behavior. MRI scans reveal that women have 14 to 16 active brain areas while evaluating others, whereas men only have 4 to 6 active.

Special Notes on Female Body Language:

• Before we dive into the cues we need to make a big special note. Every female is different – yes there are some general female body language cues that tend to be true for most women, but not all of these cues apply to every woman. And while there are also some studies on female body language, there is not a comprehensive look at women of different ages, different races, homosexual vs heterosexual women or women who identify as women. So keep that in mind while reading.
• Never take one cue alone. A good rule of thumb is to look for a cluster of three female body language cues in a group. If you see three or more of these attraction cues you can hope there is some chemistry between the two of you.
• Also, this post is not safe for work and will discuss female sexuality.

Now let’s dive into the cues you will see if a female is into you!

Small Touches

Women actively seek chances to touch others they’re interested in. Most women won’t directly touch you to signal interest (unless you’re close), so they’ll test the waters indirectly by making it seem like an accident.

A subtle touch on the arm, her fingers grazing against yours, or bumping her hips against your hips all can be small touches of affection.

Don’t mistake an “accidental” touch for an attraction cue. If you notice one quick touch, it might be an accident, sure. But if it happens for a second time or a third, she may truly be interested in you.

Face of Desire

Did you know women’s faces are generally more expressive^{1 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5396880/#:~:text=On%20the%20one%20hand%2C%20reviews,all%20facial%20actions%20more%20frequently.} than men’s? If you pay close attention, a woman who’s displaying interest cues will leak out signs of desire on her face.

If you’re familiar with the 7 different microexpressions already, you might be wondering, “There’s no desire expression, is there?” And you’d be right! Desire isn’t one of the 7 universal expressions. However, we can truly see desire in an attracted woman’s face through her lips and eyes. You know who was great at this? Famously, Marilyn Monroe. She was frequently photographed in a pose with lips slightly apart, neck exposed, eyelids half closed. This looks strikingly similar to a face in pleasure. Take note if you see a woman make this face while listening or while laughing. You might see:

• Her lips will slightly part. Are her lips slightly parted? Slightly parted lips also mimic female genitalia. It suggests the genital “echo.”²
• Her eyes will flutter. She may briefly flutter her eyelids at you. This may be more obvious with a slight downward tilt of her head.

Leaning In

Have you ever noticed a woman leaning in closer to you while chatting? It’s a big clue! When she leans in, it’s her way of saying she wants to be nearer and is genuinely engaged in the conversation. This simple move not only reduces the physical distance between you but also signals attraction.

Leaning is a universal sign of engagement – it doesn’t always mean attraction (sometimes it can be just curiosity) but it is certainly a positive sign. This is one of my 97 cues in my bestselling book, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication.

A female might lean in with her shoulder, bringing her upper body closer to yours. Sometimes, she may tilt her head slightly as she leans in, creating a more intimate angle. Another variation is leaning in while resting her chin on her hand, giving you her undivided attention. All these subtle gestures speak volumes about her interest and engagement in the interaction. So, the next time you’re talking to someone special, pay attention to that lean – it might just be the nudge you need!

Stroking

It’s common that women stroke or touch their knees when sexually interested. Of course, if she’s stroking your knee, no need for further questions. But if she’s stroking hers, this may be a subconscious desire to stroke yours.

You might also see if she strokes the stem of her wine glass or the rim of her coffee cup. This soft and subtle gesture could be indicative of flirtation.

Side Note: You can think of the knees as 2 “large, leg-shaped arrows” that point at a person’s object of interest. Look to see if her knees are pointing toward you.

Open Body Language

If a woman is into you it is likely her body language will signal openness rather than being closed off. When she is around you does she angle her open torso towards you? Are her arms more open around you? Are they freely moving and not held closely to her body? Women are more likely to fold their arms across their torso around aggressive or unattractive men, but if they find you attractive, they’ll open their body up⁴.

There are two exceptions to this rule:

• Crossed Legs. Women often cross their legs to be comfortable. It is not a sign of disinterest.
• It’s cold or she’s nervous. A cold room or anxiety can cause a women to close up her body even if she is attracted to you.

Watch her body language, as a more relaxed open body indicates comfort and attraction.

Foot Pointing

Ever notice where her feet are pointing? If her feet are aimed straight at you, you’re in luck! It often means she’s interested and totally engaged in the conversation.

For example, I remember sitting at a café with a guy friend, catching up over coffee. I noticed another woman was pointing her feet straight at my friend! It was a small, subtle sign, but it told me she was genuinely interested and wanted to get to know my friend more. It’s these little cues that can speak volumes about attraction!

Pro Tip: Are her feet facing away from you all the time—especially towards the exit? That might signal she wants to get away or leave. Yikes!

Fluttering Eyes

Dr. David Givens^{2 3https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mbqjz4/why-we-find-winking-so-sexy4} , director at the Center for Nonverbal Studies, says that “rapid eyeblink (or ‘eyelash flutter’) means you’ve raised the blinker’s level of psychological arousal.” When a woman suddenly blinks faster, you may have increased her level of sexual excitement.

You might notice a sudden rapid eye blink when you tell an amazing story of you being a cool/exciting/funny guy. This is a subliminal way of saying, “You’ve captured my interest.”

Here’s the blink in action in an episode of The Bachelor (timestamp 3:29):

Here’s the problem with this one…rapid eye blinking can also be a sign of nervousness. So be sure to look for other attraction cues along with this one.

Hip Rolling

How does a woman shift, groove, and gyrate her hips?

Women naturally have wider hips than men, and a woman who is attracted to you might sway her hips back and forth more than normal. The back-and-forth motion can easily be seen when walking, especially if a woman walks away from you to the bar or the bathroom (she’ll likely assume you’re watching).

Look for the hip sway—this movement invites attention and exaggerates the fullness of her hips and buttocks.

Highlighting Female Assets

Have you ever seen a gelada baboon? Their chests are very red, signaling sexuality and fertility.

Because the breasts are such a sexual signal, women who are attracted to you may stick their chests out to accentuate their curves. You may notice her whip her shoulders back and stand taller to display her goods more.

She might stroke her neck or expose a part of her thigh if sitting in a skirt.

Hair Flip

If you’ve watched television before (like, ever), you may have noticed those Dove or Pantene commercials. Most of them have one thing in common: wildly exaggerated hair flips.

Women toss their hair or touch their neck when flirting because it exposes the armpit, which releases sex hormones, shows the curvature of the neck, and highlights shiny healthy hair. Hair flipping is done to draw attention⁵. Our eyes are automatically drawn to the hair when a woman flips. It’s a nonverbal way of saying, “Look at how healthy and beautiful my hair looks!” Even with coma patients, it has been shown they try to track movement with their eyes.

Take a look at this hilarious Saturday Night Live skit where Sofia Vergara and Penelope Cruz sell Pantene shampoo and you’ll know what I mean:

Submissive Look

Women struggle with trying to stand their ground while not intimidating men. From a body language perspective, this happens in a number of ways. Women use cues of “submissiveness” to show vulnerability but can also employ certain moves for assertiveness, to show they are not pushovers.

• Women pluck their eyebrows higher up their forehead because it makes them look more helpless. This causes a hormone release in a man’s brain connected with protecting and defending the female.
• Oddly, a limp wrist or exposed wrists are a sign of submission, and both women and homosexual men tend to subconsciously do this when in a room with people they want to attract. Just like how weak prey in the wild might run limp away from its predators, a limp wrist invites another to dominate her. This is why while smoking, many women hold the cigarette with one wrist turned out and exposed.
• When women want to be assertive, they might stand with their feet spread farther apart. This “claiming of territory” is a subconscious cue to men that the woman is feeling confident.

Preening

Women will constantly preen themselves to maximize their attractiveness. When around a man she likes, preening behaviors may go up¹:

• Women stroke their hair and twirl it around their fingers. They might even do this unconsciously while talking to someone they like. Preening the hair not only makes it appear better groomed, but it also draws attention to the hair since our eyes are attracted to movement.
• Some women may put on makeup, even during a date. If she excuses herself to the bathroom, and you notice a fresh coat of lipstick, this is a signal she’s trying to look her best. Pay close attention to her appearance before and after she goes to the restroom—you might notice small but subtle changes!
• Glancing in the mirror. If you’re walking by a mirror or window, you might notice her paying close attention to her appearance. She might be checking to make sure she looks her best.

Exposing Inner Wrists

Showing the soft, vulnerable skin of the inner wrists is a subtle but powerful gesture of openness and trust. If she does this while talking to you, it’s a strong sign of comfort and attraction.

For example, she might place her hands on the table with her palms up, or when holding a drink, she might tilt her wrist to show the inner side, especially if she’s using both hands to hold it. This is a women showcasing her femininity.

Caressing Objects

If the desire to touch is so strong, but it may be inappropriate to do so, you might see her behavior transfer to touching other objects:

• A woman may caress, stroke, and fondle a wine glass or the cup she’s drinking from. This is a form of object transference. Objects that are phallic in nature may even come into play, such as a pen or even her phone.
• Fidgeting with keys is another form of object transference. She might stroke her car keys or rub them between her fingers to release her pent-up energy.

Licking Lips

A woman’s outer genital lips are proportionately the same thickness as her facial lips. It sounds raunchy, but lips are a form of “self-mimicry” intended to symbolize the female genital region⁴. If she’s attracted to you, she’ll lick her lips to make her lips shinier and more “inviting.” Licking also makes her tongue make movements that draw attention to them.

Licking lips can also mean that her mouth is drying out. But this can also mean attraction, since a dry mouth can be a side effect of increased breathing rate if she’s attracted. You might also notice her wearing glossy or red lipstick. Women do this to call attention to their lips.

Mirroring Movement

If a woman mirrors your posture and movements, it’s a subconscious way of building rapport and showing she’s in sync with you.

Here’s how you might spot it: She might adopt the same body position as you, whether you’re sitting or standing. For instance, if you lean forward, she might do the same. When you take a sip of your drink, you might notice her following suit shortly after.

Another common form of mirroring involves gestures and facial expressions. If you use certain hand movements while speaking, she might start using similar gestures. You smile, she smiles; you show concern, she reflects it.

You can even see it in speech patterns. You might notice her picking up on your pace, intonations, and even specific phrases you use!

Want more on mirroring? Check out our guide: Mirroring Body Language: 4 Steps To Successfully Mirror Others

Rhythmic Movement

Is there ambient music playing? If you’re at a bar, club, or even networking event, you might notice her keeping time with the music by moving her body back and forth. It can even be very subtle.

Movements like these help illustrate that she’s keeping the social vibes high, and it’s also a nonverbal way to say she’s having a good time—all great signs when it comes to attraction.

Female Body Language Tips for Flirting

Taking into account some of the female body language cues, here are some tips for both men and women to be a body language love expert:

• When approaching a woman, men should never come up from behind, as this will put her on guard. They are better off coming in at an angle and then standing at an angle.
• You do not need to have perfect looks to attract a man. Studies show that men are more attracted to a woman who engages in flirtation behavior to show she is available, versus the best-looking woman in the room.

What do people consider “likable” body language? Here are some of the behaviors that are attractive and likable across social, business, and romantic situations:

• smiling
• having an expressive face
• keeping your hands below chin level (above can be seen as aggressive or over-animated)
• minimal arm crossing
• keeping hands outside of pockets
• triple head nods to show interest
• intimate eye gazing (from the eyes to the mouth to the body)
• leaning toward the other person
• subtle mirroring

The #1 Most Attractive Cue, According to Women

Do you know which body language cue women find the most attractive in men? Is it:

1. exposing the forearms
2. flexing the arms
3. biting the lower lip
4. being taken

The answer is 4) being taken. A study by Oklahoma State University^{5 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103109001048?via%3Dihub} shows that 90% of single women were interested in a man they believed was in a relationship, while only 59% wanted him when they found out he was single.

So if you’re a single man looking for a woman, are you out of luck? Luckily, no! There is another attractive cue that anyone can work on: humor.

If you’re a guy, you’re better off being nice and funny than being tall, sexy, rich, or even taken.

Even Marilyn Monroe knew the power humor has on women.

Luckily, we’ve got an article all about being funnier, even if you’re as funny as a piece of cardboard. Check it out here: How to Be Funny in 7 Steps

Bonus: How to Tell a Girl You Like Her

Let me bring you back to high school: You’re an awkward teenage boy, and you see your high school sweetheart staring you in the face. You don’t know how to ask her out, so what’s the best way to nonverbally tell her you dig her? Should you:

1. smile at her
2. wink at her
3. show her your muscles
4. flap around like a chicken

The answer?

Trick question—there is no right answer! By the time you’ve decided to signal your interest, she’s likely ALREADY sent you dozens—if not hundreds—of tiny micro signals that indicate if she’s interested in YOU. Signals that might have gone right over your head if you don’t know what to look for.

In fact…

Most early signaling is done by women. Women are truly the “selectors” who attract attention by displaying subtle nonverbal signals¹. So if you know what to look for, there’d be no need for your awkward high school self to muster up the courage to face rejection in the first place.

Knowing how to spot the telltale signs of attraction will help you be ahead of 99% of men out there.

Want to learn all 97 cues? Read up on our science-backed guide to body language.

Female Body Language in a Nutshell

Even though I’ve given you the best cues here, female body language is so varied and vast that EVERY woman can do things differently.

Some women may be as cool as a cucumber but be madly in love, and others can’t help but wink at any guy who is even remotely OK looking (I had a friend who did this).Side Note: As much as possible we tried to use academic research or expert opinion for this master body language guide. Occasionally, when we could not find research we include anecdotes that are helpful. As more research comes out on nonverbal behavior we will be sure to add it!

Sources:

• Parker, J., & Burkley, M. (2009). Who’s chasing whom? The impact of gender and relationship status on mate poaching. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 45(4), 1016–1019. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2009.04.022
• McDuff D, Kodra E, Kaliouby RE, LaFrance M. A large-scale analysis of sex differences in facial expressions. PLoS One. 2017 Apr 19;12(4):e0173942. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0173942. PMID: 28422963; PMCID: PMC5396880.

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