Is it possible to know if someone is lying to you?
Yes! When you know how to decode hidden emotions, read body language, and spot deception tells, you will be able to have more honest interactions with the people in your life.
We don’t even realize that we can be lied to as much as 200 times per day. But fear not—you can learn lie detection, just like any other skill.
I’m here to let you know that anyone can tell if a person is lying.
All it takes is knowledge and a little bit of practice.
In this master guide, I will show you:
- The most common lying myths
- How pathological liars lie (and serial killers, too)
- How to tell if someone is lying
- The 3 types of lies
- How to become good at spotting lies
So before we jump into anything else, it’s important for you to find out…
How Good Are You at Detecting Lies? (Quiz)
Here at Science of People, we came up with our own liespotting quiz.
You’ll watch five people tell you two truths and one lie. This is all real footage, sent in to us from our real readers, just like you.
Here’s the deal: If you’re able to accurately detect all of the lies—and from our results, very few people have—then you might actually be a truth wizard.
Ready for the quiz? Good luck!
Okay, how did you do? If you didn’t guess the lies too well, that’s perfectly normal!
Here’s some interesting research: Authors Allan and Barbara Pease cited research from Sanjida O’Connell, PhD, author of Mindreading, who conducted a 5 month study on how we lie, and found that:
Women are far better at both lying and detecting lies than men. Men tell simple lies, like “I missed the bus,” while women tell more complicated, believable ones.
But the fact is, even if women might have a slight advantage, the majority of lies go undetected no matter who’s listening. Why? Because most lies actually sound like the truth, so we have a hard time telling them apart.
There is however, a small group of people who can detect lies.
This small group of people can detect lies with a remarkable 80% accuracy… whereas the average person—if they are really trying—can only pick up on lies around half the time.
So who are these people?
They are known as Truth Wizards.
Are you a truth wizard?
What is a truth wizard?
A Truth Wizard is a person who can detect lies with 80% accuracy. They are natural-born lie detectors that are remarkable at detecting lies without any prior training. Truth Wizards usually do not rely on just one clue, but rather use a variety of clues to detect lies.
In the original study of Truth Wizards, only 50 people out of 20,000 people were lie detection aficionados.
So, if you weren’t able to pick up on the lies, don’t feel bad. Remember: on average, people can only detect 54% of lies.
Want to learn more about truth wizards? Check out this video:
Here’s the deal: deception detection is not just about genetics.
Lie detection is a skill that CAN be learned.
And I’ll show you exactly how you can train your lie detection skills to accurately spot lies like a Truth Wizard (more on that later).
But first, we need to bust some lying myths.
4 Lying Myths Debunked
First, let’s get this out of the way. Most people believe that it’s easy to spot a lie.
That is, they believe in a secret “formula” for spotting lies. The eye movement. The fidgeting. The nervous sweats. “Oh yeah, gotcha now, you liar!”
But reality isn’t that simple.
Hollywood movies and popular TV has influenced us that we’re all the Dr. Cal Lightman’s in Lie to Me… when in reality, we can barely tell if our own partner is lying to us— “You look so good in those pants, sweetheart!”
Here are some of the most common lying myths debunked.
Lying Myth #1: If people look to the left, they are lying.
Although there is some science about eye direction, which we talk about in the course, it is NOT a reliable form of lie detection. The course will show you more accurate (and easier) ways to spot lies.
Lying Myth #2: Liars can’t look you in the eyes.
We often think of liars as shifty in their gaze. However, there are no modern scientific studies on eye direction and lying. In fact, liars may actually look you in the eye more because they want to see if you believe their lie or not.
Lying Myth #3: Children are the biggest liars.
While we may think that children lie a lot, their lies are often the easiest to spot. Studies show that children usually give themselves away before age 8, and their lies become better with age. Take a look at this video, for example, of a young girl who lies about eating cake (with cake covering her face!):
Lying Myth #4: Emails, texts, and IMs are filled with lies.
A lot of people believe this myth because they think it’s easier to lie when others can’t see or hear you. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
According to Stanford Magazine, it’s not the technology that causes lies, but the goal of the liar.
In other words, people often lie over technology when they want something from someone.
In the dating world, for example, someone might be lying about their good qualities to a potential partner, simply because they want to appear more attractive themselves! (eg. “I love cooking!” when he / she doesn’t.)
But there’s a more dangerous form of communication other than email or texting you should be more concerned about—the phone.
If you’ve ever been a victim of the “Hello, this is Microsoft customer service. Your computer has been infected with a virus” scam… then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
People lie the most on the phone because not only can they not see the other person’s face or body language… but there’s also no paper trail. No record? No proof!
And it might be even harder to tell if someone is lying over text— luckily, we have an article on that, too.
Bottom Line: There are a lot of myths surrounding lies. Don’t believe everything you hear, just because you watch it on television or read it online. In the words of Abraham Lincoln…
“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. Especially not everyone on the internet.”— Abraham Lincoln
The Characteristics of Pathological Liars
In order to examine the characteristics of liars, let’s turn to some of the best liars in the world… pathological liars. Or more specifically, serial killers and cold-blooded murderers.
What is psychopathy?
Psychopathy is a personality disorder that is characterized by antisocial behavior, a lack of empathy, egotistical traits, and a lack of ability to make meaningful connections.
Famous serial killers, like Ted Bundy—who was quoted saying, “I don’t feel guilty for anything. I feel sorry for people who feel guilt”—or John Wayne Gacy—who said his only crime should have been “running a cemetery without a license”— display psychopathic traits that make them really good liars.
That’s because, unlike you or me, cold-blooded killers have an easier time lying. In fact, a research study by scientists from the University of Hong Kong proved this correlation.
In their study, psychopaths were found to lie much faster than normal… and the parts of the brain that are supposed to “light up” when we come up with a lie had a lot less activity.
Why is this? Lead researcher Dr. Tatia Lee says that: “Lying requires a series of processes in the brain.” This is because it takes us a lot more effort to make up a lie than to tell the truth.
In killers and psychopaths, however, these brain processes are effectively desensitized… Telling a lie and a truth is one and the same for them.
And in the more extreme psychopaths? This lie-making brain process can even be completely shut off. Yikes!
Some serial killers are also serial liars—for example, Henry Lee Lucas confessed to killing over 600 people. Of course, most of the killings he confessed to were completely made up… but his expert lying skills were able to fool countless law enforcement officials (you can even watch the series on Netflix: The Confession Killer!).
This just goes to show how hard it is to detect some of the world’s best liars. However, most killers aren’t professional liars. In fact, some killers can be right next door—as was with the murder case of Lauren Giddings in Macon, Georgia…
Case Study: Stephen McDaniel
!!! Warning: Gruesome details below. !!!
Are you familiar with the murderer, Stephen McDaniel? He’s the guy that choked his classmate and neighbor, Lauren Giddings, and hid her corpse… only to discover—while being interviewed on camera—that the body was just found.
In June 2011, Stephen McDaniel choked his Mercer Law School classmate, Lauren Giddings, while she was asleep.
Yeah, he’s not exactly a good guy…
The reason I’m bringing up Stephen is because his interview is a goldmine of lie detection knowledge—from the moment he gets on camera, to the moment the body is found, Stephen displays certain lying cues that are easy to detect.
Watch this short clip, where you can see him fabricating lie after lie. And keep in mind… this is the cold-blooded killer who murdered the same woman he’s talking about.
When thinking about lie detection you have to know there is no single cue that signals someone is lying, just like there is no single cue to tell if someone likes you.. Rather, in our research we focus on statistical cues to deceit. A statistical cue to deceit is nonverbal or verbal tic that studies have found liars often do.
The best way to accurately spot if someone is lying is to look for multiple statistical cues. We have found 44 in the research and list all of them in our lie detection course. For now, let’s focus on what you might have seen in the video:
- Most honest people speak in complete sentences since they have no reason to hold back or watch their words. Liars often have false starts and odd explanations. In this video, Stephen says, “body.” Not even as a question, but as an odd statement. An honest person would either answer the question or exclaim, “There was a body!?”
- Liars often (but not always) have longer pauses as they think about the “Correct answer” versus the “truthful answer” he has EXTRA long pauses. An honest person would know right away, “No! I didn’t see the body!”
- Did you notice his odd head shaking? Sometimes in the yes motion, sometimes in the no motion. He had trouble shaking his head, “No” because he did see the body! And then shook his head yes at first.
But here’s the most interesting part…
Later on in the footage, the interviewer says that a dead body was found at the exact location where McDaniel hid Giddings’ body. Here, you can see the exact moment where McDaniel’s face turns pale white. This is the moment where he realizes that he’s been caught in his own web of lies. This is the moment he realizes he is in trouble.
Warning: Detecting lies is a powerful skill to have, almost like a mind-reading superpower. It can have deep consequences, especially if you don’t learn how to use this skill properly. Expert lie detectors will consider the consequences of their actions before they call out someone on a lie.
Here’s the second part of the footage, where the interviewer reveals that the body has been found:
You can watch the full interview here: McDaniel’s first media interview
How to Tell if Someone is Lying in 7 Steps
Okay, so we’ve gone down the darkside of murderers and psycho killers. But most liars are just normal people, just like you and me.
From your coworker that says her part of the project is going “good,” to your significant other who says the relationship is “just fine”… These are the top tips on how to spot when someone is lying.
#1: Know Your Prolific Liars
Here’s the good news: most people are honest.
And here’s the bad news: Recent research shows that a majority of lies are told by a small group of people, part of which may be in your life right now. These types of liars are known as prolific liars.
What is a prolific liar?
A prolific liar is someone who has a chronic or compulsive behavior of lying. Prolific liars usually lie multiple times a day, sometimes for no apparent reason at all.
Chances are you’ve encountered a prolific liar before. And chances are you have a prolific liar or two in your life right now.
Ask yourself: who are the prolific liars in my life? Is it a friend, coworker, or family member? Do I tend to catch them in lies, or do they cause harm to others or themselves by lying constantly?
Prolific liars can be hard to identify. That’s because they might be closer than you think.
If you’re having a hard time thinking of someone, don’t worry. Identifying a prolific liar can be difficult. Their lies may not always be the dramatic, over-the-top, grandiose lies that we may expect from liars. Prolific liars can lie about small, simple things.
Luckily, we’ve got a way to identify prolific liars. In the study Variance in the Prevalence of Lying, researchers created a statistical model for distinguishing prolific liars from the everyday “normal” liar.
Here are some distinguishing characteristics of prolific liars:
Case Study: Amanda Knox
Amanda Knox was accused of murdering her roommate, Meredith Kercher in Umbria, Italy in 2007. She denied doing it in her interview, but there were some key lying cues I found that suggest otherwise.
Watch her video interview along with my breakdown:
#2: Find The Nose
Now we all know the old story of Pinocchio and how, whenever he lies, his nose gets really big.
And while it’s a funny way to portray lying, there’s also quite a bit of truth behind Pinocchio’s nose.
You see, whenever we lie, our nose gets a little itchy. I know… It sounds a bit weird. Especially when you hear that our nose contains something called “erectile tissue” (yes, the same tissue that forms our sensitive parts!).
According to neurological director Alan Hirsch, when a person lies, “blood flow increases to the erectile tissues in the body, including the erectile tissues in the nose.” This is why liars often touch or scratch their nose.
So if you were wondering why Pinocchio’s lying cue is his nose… it’s no coincidence.
And do you know who a great example of nose touching is? Bill Clinton.
In Clinton’s 1998 grand jury testimony in the Monica Lewinsky case, neurologists found that when the former president “was truthful, he never touched his nose.” However, when Clinton lied… “he gave a split-second frown and touched his nose once every four minutes afterward.”
And here’s the most surprising part—Bill Clinton ended up touching his nose a total of 26 times during the testimony. Was he lying? Most undeniably, refutably, 100%…
Here’s a short clip of Bill Clinton, where you can see him rubbing / scratching his nose as a lying cue.
Special Note: This doesn’t mean all people who touch their noses are liars—sometimes a person might have a runny nose, or it might just be cold outside. Context is important, and nose touching is just one statistical cue to detect deception.
So how do we know for sure when someone is lying?
Apart from certain lying cues like nose touching, people often give away certain microexpression “tells” when they are lying, which are hard to fake.
#3: Touching the Neck
When people tell lies, it doesn’t only come out verbally. A lie often makes a quick stop in the neck on the way up, making the neck a great hotspot for detection deception.
If a person touches their neck, it can be an indicator of increased sweat due to nervousness or anxiety from being caught in the act. If a person is wearing a collar, they might tug at it or adjust it instead to seem less obvious.
The Peases cite researcher Desmond Morris as the first person to discover that lying causes a tingling sensation in the facial and neck tissues. People usually scratch their neck to get rid of this tingling.
The Peases also conducted their own observations. Here’s what they found:
When people lie, they scratch their necks an average of 5 times each time they scratch— rarely more, and rarely less.
#4: Watch for Mismatched Hand Gestures
People who are sincere and honest will display gestures that match, especially with their hands. For example, if you tell someone their breath is stinky, they might cross their arms, purse their lips, and clench their hands into tight fists.
On the other hand, liars may show body language that indicates one thing, but their hands might not match up.
For example, let’s take a look again at Bill Clinton. In an interview about the Monica Lewinski scandal, he clearly says “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”:
But here’s the dead giveaway that shows he’s lying: his hand gestures don’t match up with where he’s looking!
Clinton clearly looks to his left, but he is pointing in front of him. When wrongly accused, people will look directly at their accuser and, if pointing, will point in the same direction. Not a different one.
Clinton likely pointed away because he didn’t feel enough conviction in what he was saying to confidently point to where he was looking.
This type of disconnect in gesturing is a surefire way to spot a lie.
#5: Pay Attention to The Ears
You might be familiar with ear pulling from the famous actress, Carol Burnett.
But ears aren’t just for listening. Many people might not know they are a great indicator of lying, too. Specifically, pulling or touching the ears is a subconscious way to stop hearing the lies a person is telling. In more obvious cases, if a person who rarely lies feels embarrassed or really nervous, their ears might flush a bit red and rise in temperature due to increased blood flow.
The Peases mention these other variations of ear touching: rubbing the back of the ear, tugging the earlobe, putting the fingertip inside the earlobe, and bending the entire ear to cover the earhole.
#6: Look for The Microexpression Tell
When people tell lies, they are usually sad, angry, or fearful. They want to hide from the truth.
“Human beings are not creatures of logic; we are creatures of emotion. And we do not care what’s true. We care how it feels.”— Will Smith
So the problem goes…
- We don’t want to tell the truth.
- We tell a lie instead.
- We feel bad about lying.
Somewhere in that equation, we tend to give away little facial cues to signal that we’re lying. And most well-seasoned liars know this. They know that when we lie, we tend to give off multiple little negative signals that expose ourselves.
That’s why they learned to suppress their emotions. Liars might even look unnatural in the act, like their face is displaying an unnatural, blank-stare look.
For example, here is the fear microexpression—which liars may use when they are afraid they will be caught—down below.
You can find out more about microexpressions in our article:
The Definitive Guide to Reading Microexpressions.
Most of the time it won’t look so obvious, but there will usually be a small tell to give them away. For example, let’s say you ask your boss about a possible pay increase and he says in a cheerful tone that it’s definitely possible in the future. But right after asking, you notice his mouth slightly opens, lips become tense, and his eyebrows are raised and drawn together in a straight line. You might guess correctly that he’s actually afraid of giving you a raise and doesn’t feel comfortable bringing it up again.
And these tells can happen fast. The Peases conducted research using slow-motion cameras and concluded that these signals can occur within a split second, and only professional interviewers, salespeople, and other very perceptive people can read them.
Unless you know the right approach, which we’ll cover in the next step…
#7: Become a Human Lie Detector
Now that we’ve talked about prolific liars, nose touching, microexpressions, and personal pronouns… It’s finally time to take things one step further. If you really want to be a lie-detecting wizard, there’s only ONE way to greatly and reliably improve your lie detection abilities.
In fact, after many years of teaching lie detection skills to real students, real employees, and real people…
I’ve come to the conclusion that:
The best way to improve lie detection is to use a science-based, systematic approach.
And I’m not talking about a lame test, where I give you an A for effort.
No—I’ve found that the best way to learn is with 3 F’s. That is, learning from:
- Factual and science-based information,
- From real-life examples, and most importantly…
- Fun! It certainly makes reality shows more interesting.
That way, you can discover the real hidden emotions that people truly have deep down inside.
That way, you can walk in a room and know EXACTLY who is lying and why. Yeah, it’s kind of like having a superpower.
THAT is why I created How to Be a Human Lie Detector
I truly believe that detecting lies is one of the most important skills to learn in your life… So if you’re ready to join me, check out my course:
Never miss a lie again. Learn how to spot deception and uncover hidden emotions. Follow our science backed framework and unlock the secret language of lies.
The 3 Types of Lies
One day, while enjoying a nice dinner with my friend John, out popped a question: “Vanessa, how did you feel about Samantha?”
Samantha was my ex-friend and ex-neighbor. She had smelly breath, always let her dog poop on our lawn, and even had loud karaoke parties until 2 in the morning! So naturally, I said:
“Samantha? She’s great!”
But the thing is… I didn’t like her. I told a lie, and not only was I lying to John… but I was also lying to myself.
This type of lie is called a lie of commission. And there are many types of lies—not just the obvious ones.
Do you remember that little oath. “I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth”?
Other than being used in the courtroom, it’s a great way to identify the types of lies.
How? Let’s dive into it!
“I swear to tell the truth” – Lies of Commission
If someone tells you something that is not a fact… we call this a lie of commission. This can be anything from lying about how you feel, to lying about your social status, to lying in a relationship.
Basically, when someone tells a lie of commission, they take the truth and twist it to create a (usually more favorable) version of something that happened.
Like when I told John that Samantha was great. Or when people go about our day, telling others they feel “good” when all they really want to do is go home and cuddle with the blankets.
How to tackle these lies:
If people go about their lives just telling others that they’re great, or this person is fantastic, or the world is all fine and dandy when it’s not… how do we tell the lies from the truth?
That’s when it hit me.
For these lies to succeed, you have to be willing to believe the lie. Not just hear it, but really, truly, believe in it.
In other words, you have to stop living in autopilot mode. Stop accepting that everything is true. Stop believing the words, and start listening to the deeper meaning of what people say.
Become skeptical, and ask questions. This will make you think before you nod and agree, “Yes” to everything that people say.
Here’s another trick— when someone says something you suspect is a lie… first, wait.
A day, or a week later… Come back to them and ask them to repeat it. If he or she suddenly tells you a different story, then this probably means that there is something else going on. Time to investigate!
Next up is our second type of lie…
“The whole truth” – Lies of Omission
Unlike the first lie where it’s just plain wrong info… Lies of omission are lies because there is something missing.
When a lie of omission is told, important details are left. Does this make lies of omission any better than lies of commission?
In fact, they can be even nastier because they’re harder to spot and take less effort than making up a whole new lie. And it’s not just giving a shrug when you get home and your spouse is asking about the dirty socks left in the kitchen.
Think of it like this—suppose you are buying a used car, and you spot a 2019 Honda Accord. You ask the car salesman about more details.
“Oh, don’t worry about that! This car is great! Only 1,000 miles, one owner, pet-free, full tank, it’s a steal!”
He fails to tell you, however, that the engine was just submerged in salt water. Or that all the tires were blown out and replaced. Or that the car needed a new paint job.
That’s 100% a lie of omission that he told you, and a lie you could have avoided.
How to tackle these lies:
Detecting these lies can be a bit tricky, so you’ll have to do some digging. And make no mistake about it: if you don’t ask all the questions, you might not uncover all the truth.
It’s just like the saying: “Ask the right questions, and the answers will always reveal themselves.”
Except in this case, it might be more appropriate to say:
“Ask ALL the questions, and the answers will always reveal themselves.”
It’s not just about asking the right questions, but being thorough in your questions as well.
In the salesman scenario, if you had any doubts about the condition of the car… you could simply ask the salesman to show you the maintenance log of the car. That way, there’s no chance of lying.
But again, the key here is being thorough. Being ignorant is not enough, because you might just let that car salesman put a happy smile on your face and take your money. You have to know when someone is omitting critical information from you, and that usually comes from experience or practice.
“And nothing but the truth”
The last part of the oath is important. This is when sometimes people will tell you information completely unrelated to the truth in order to cover up a lie.
This is what we call in the lie detection business, a character lie or a lie of influence. These lies are meant to make you believe the liar… or at the very least, pump them up to make them sound like a great, magnificent human being incapable of telling lies.
Let’s look at an example. You work at the local Walmart and a colleague has been taking money from the cash registers. It’s your job to find out who it is. You interview Mary and ask her if she took the money. Her response is, “I’ve worked here for 15 years!” This is a typical character lie. By telling you how long she’s worked at Walmart, Mary is trying to make it seem highly unlikely that she took the money.
Note how she only told you how long she’s worked at Walmart! She has not told you that she didn’t take the money. Be very wary for these types of lies. Whenever someone is trying to convince you of how great they are like in the example above, they are probably attempting to cover something up.
How to tackle these types of lies:
Catching these lies is actually pretty easy. All you have to do is really listen to what someone is telling you. Are they giving you an answer to your question or are they just making a statement about themselves? If it’s the latter, then you need to ask the question again to get to the truth.
Now OBVIOUSLY there are some good actors out there (like the murderers mentioned above), so detecting lies if you’ve never done it before can be HARD. So bear the following in mind…
I’ve studied and been formally trained in lie detection for YEARS… and still, my success rate is not 100%.
HOWEVER, my lie detection is good enough that I can confidently say I am at the level of a Truth Wizard (mentioned above).
Over the years, I’ve formulated a LASER precise method of practicing lie detection (and there’s plenty of practice material in the course). “Practice” might not sound so glamorous, but let me make this absolutely clear…
Practicing lie detection is ESSENTIAL to becoming good at it.
In the course, I outline the best methods to practice spotting lies—even in real life.
Now it’s your turn…
Now that you know how to distinguish the different types of lies, let’s see if you can manage to tell which type of lie is used in the following sentences.
A – I would never do something like that!
B – Q: Do I look fat in this dress? A: No, honey.
C – Q: Where were you yesterday? A: I went to the office (neglecting to tell you he also visited his mistress)
D – Q: Is this a good neighborhood to live in? A: Yes, we’re good friends with the people next door (not telling you the people across the street are really very nasty people).
E – Q: Are you having an affair? A: I’ve been happily married for 20 years!
F – Q: How much money are you making? A: About $3,000 a month (While actually making $2,200)
B and F: Lies of commission. Of course B is kind of a trick question because you would never tell your partner she looked fat in that dress. Right? Either way, both are straightforward lies that tell you something other than the truth.
A and E: Lies of influence. These people are trying to make themselves look better to avoid suspicion. Saying, “I would never do something like that” isn’t the same as “no”, which is the answer someone telling the truth would give you.
C and D: Lies of omission. Here, an important part of the truth is left out to avoid having to tell a lie of commission. That, of course, doesn’t make it right!
How well did you do? Did you get your 3 types of lies right? Getting this stuff down 100% will literally TRANSFORM your ways of thinking and believing what people say. It’ll also help you get someone to confess if that’s what you want.
But even if you’re only at 50%, you’re already further than everyone else if you’ve read this far.
How to Train Your Lie Detection Skills
While detecting deception is never easy, quality training can improve a person’s ability to detect lies.
The fact is, many people—without any prior training—think they can detect lies…
However, what they think doesn’t matter.
The proof is in the numbers. Most people are terrible at detecting lies because they still believe in old lying myths. Because they watch what they see on television, and think catching lies is easy.
But here’s the interesting part…
Spotting lies can be easy—much easier than you think.
In my course, I teach my secret lie-detecting knowledge that helped thousands of people become lie-detecting masters and take control of their own life…
So are you ready to take on this course and develop a world-class skill? You’ve already made it this far… You will not be disappointed.
So here are the keys—now it’s your turn to start the engine.
Sign up for the course: How to Be a Human Lie Detector
10 replies on “How to Tell if Someone is Lying: The Ultimate Deception Guide”
Thank you for sharing this knowledge, but I’m inquisitive as to why some lies are had to figure especially those that the liar is convinced to be true though twisted. How Delilah figured out Samson Lies, later believed him when he told the truth? How Joseph’s brothers lied to Jacob and he believed them instantly, can this tell anything about conviction of a liar as important to cover the lie?
May I know that the statement from past Pres. Abraham Lincoln who said that: One cannot lie all the time in the Internet!
How did he know about Internet when he lived in this era?
Born: February 12, 1809, Sinking Spring Farm, Kentucky, U.S.
April 15, 1865, Washington, D.C, U.S.
Any plausible explanation, please?
Hi Sisantha! Great catch. This quote by Abraham Lincoln is actually false. It’s in the article to prove the point that not everything should be believed, especially on the internet! Hope this helps. Rob | Science of People team
Being lied to always sucks, but omission lies are the worst. In a real world situation you can do some digging, but it’s always hard to confront someone with the truth when you have to let the person know you did said digging in order to get them to fess up. In a way I feel like it breaks my trustworthiness to that person, which however I feel about being lied to, I still value. I tend to ask direct questions to give them a chance to come clean, but a lot of times if they think they’re covering their tracks well enough they have no problem turning it into a lie of commission. I feel like sometimes this backs me into a corner since I become dishonest in turn. If I didn’t already know the answer to the question then why would I be asking? The liar can tend to feel trapped, since some tend to get very defensive once they realize you know more than you let on. I guess the real answer to this problem is that you can’t combat sneakiness and dishonesty with sneakiness and dishonesty.
Hi guys I’m reading this and I’m wondering. Isn’t a “lie of commission” the same as “exaggeration”?
Two questions. a)is it a lie of omission when you lose your company keys and don’t telll you boss because you think they will show up quickly? b) I began internet dating when it first began, in the nineties. The first thing I noticed was that what many people considered bold face lying about who they were, was simply the person lying to themselves about who they were, and describing the person they wanted to be. I would write, read and re-write emails to people to prevent myself from doing it, because it seemed so hard not to, when trying to describe yourself. In the end my greatest compliment was “You are exactly the way I imagined”. So what kind of lie was that?
Hey Roger! For a) yes, that is a lie of omission.
For b) it depends. If the person truly doesn’t think they’re lying about themselves, then it’s simply not a lie. But I think for most cases, it falls under the “lies of influence” category where people try to make themselves look better to avoid suspicion.
-Danielle & The Science of People Team
complimentary lie lol
Most interesting. I agree the character lie is absolutely deceptive and misleading in an intentional way. I don’t know that I consider it a lie per se. It is absolutely a red flag. It is like listening to a public relations professional handly questions at a press conference. Is it right? Is it wrong? That is something for everyone to decide for themselves, and ethics is outside the scope of this topic. My rule of thumb: People who need to TELL me they are a good person, are not. People who share with me rank or position and status as a REASON why THEY are trustworthy (and mostly anyone who feels motivated enough to give well thought out or rehearsed reasons to trust them) should not be trusted. There are people who have that need, I don’t see many though….idk, what do you think about that?
Hi Seth, thanks for the insightful comment. You’re absolutely right- a character lie isn’t necessarily a lie (since what they’re saying out of context may certainly be true), but it’s definitely a red flag. I agree with your observation of those that find it necessary to brag about themselves. If you’re a good person, I should be able to see that. If you’re a competent person, I should be able to recognize that. Unfortunately, some people are insecure. Often, the only way they feel validated is by verbalizing something unnecessary. -Danielle and the Science of People Team
Comments are closed.