Self-Worth: 20 Ideas to Build Self-Esteem

Want to build self-worth? Here's your challenge: pick one of these 20 ideas and do it today to start feeling as good as you actually are.

Do you know how to build self-worth? First things first—you are AMAZING, so you have every reason to be confident in who you are. (Yes, even today.)

If you have high self-worth, you feel confident and know you are a good person who deserves good things. That’s why investing in your self-worth is one of the best, most productive ways to spend your time today… and I am honored to help.

Watch our video below for 20 ideas to build your self-esteem:

My name is Vanessa and I am a recovering awkward person. I have struggled a lot with my own self-worth:

• I felt I was unworthy of true friends and had a lot of fake friends in my life.
• I used to feel I was unworthy of being paid my worth and had a heck of a time negotiating for myself.
• I felt unworthy of love and struggled to find secure attachments to good people.

My goal is to build your self-esteem and confidence with 20 self-worth boosters so you can feel as incredible as you actually are.

What is Self-Worth? (Definition)

Self-worth is the deep, unshakeable belief someone has that they are loved and worthy to be loved. People with high self-worth tend to have higher respect, confidence, and values. People with low self-worth might suffer from low confidence and feel bad about themselves.

Self-Worth versus Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is often used interchangeably with self-worth; however, self-esteem can be defined as “feeling” good and confident about oneself.

The big difference here is that self-esteem is often a fleeting feeling. It can be raised through external factors like receiving nice compliments or buying a new pair of shoes.

But self-esteem doesn’t last.

Think of it like this: self-esteem is like a floating cloud in the sky. It can come and go—and it most certainly will—and people with high self-esteem might need constant mood boosters to “feel” good about themselves.

But true self-worth is more than that. It’s the permanent, grounded “knowing” that you have worth. And unlike a cloud, self-worth is more like the earth. It’s an unmovable, grounded belief that is “rooted” in confidence—and a snide remark or unfortunate circumstance won’t completely destroy your self-worth.

Can you have self-esteem without self-worth? Absolutely. Narcissists are folks who have high self-esteem and put on an air of confidence and self-assuredness. However, they often LACK self-worth because they are compensating for deeper problems within… like a lack of fundamental love for themselves.

Now here’s the key about self-worth…

Not everyone will know your true self-worth.

It’s up to you to increase your own self-worth, and it all starts with small, repeated actions that add up.

Remember, the more often you feel good about yourself over time, the higher your everyday baseline of self-worth becomes.

16 Signs of Low Self-Worth

Think you have low self-worth? Here are some signs to look out for. Check off the ones that feel true for you:

1. You tend to avoid eye contact when passing strangers on the street.
2. You often feel taken advantage of in toxic friendships.
3. You don’t feel loved or accepted by others.
4. You don’t like to speak in public and think what you say has less importance than others.
5. You don’t know what your true values are.
6. You constantly doubt yourself and have impostor syndrome.
7. You often compare yourself to friends or even random strangers.
8. You often push people away in fear of them finding out your “true” self.
9. You have slouched shoulders or take up less space in social situations.
10. You fall into the same bad relationships over and over again.
11. You accept a lower salary or are afraid to ask for that raise you deserve.
12. You have a hard time getting a good night’s sleep.
13. You don’t know how to stand up for yourself during social situations.
14. You can’t sit still and alone for 10 minutes without feeling anxious or sad.
15. You often browse social media and wonder why your friends’ lives are more exciting / more important / more social than yours.
16. You feel inferior when being around more beautiful / smarter / competent people.

Does any of that sound like you? If so, we need to crank your self-worth. But first, we have to understand…

What Shapes Your Self-Worth?

Two big forces shape how we feel about ourselves, and neither one is a life sentence.

Your Starting Point

Some of us start from a naturally lower baseline. Part of that is temperament, the disposition you were born with, and part of it is the environment you grew up in.

If you were praised for effort, encouraged to try new things, and made to feel loved, you probably built a sturdier sense of worth early on. If you got the opposite, you may have started further back. That’s not your fault, and it’s not permanent.

Hard Experiences

The other force is experience. Painful moments, especially ones that repeat, can teach us that we’re “less than.”

A harsh rejection, a critical boss, a friendship that made you shrink, a long stretch of feeling like you didn’t belong. Pile enough of those up and they start to feel like facts about who you are, when they’re really just things that happened to you.

So does that mean we’re stuck? Should we resign ourselves to low self-worth forever? Absolutely not.

The good news is that self-worth is buildable.

The more you practice good, confidence-building actions, the higher your self-worth climbs. Now let me show you exactly how.

We are so honored to help you build your self-worth! If you are struggling to find the help you need, please note that all content found on this website is not to be considered professional medical advice. It is always best to consult a doctor or licensed therapist with any questions or concerns in regards to your physical or mental health. For a good resource for therapists, you can check out Mental Health America’s helpful list.

20 Ways to Build Your Self-Worth

The first step to building your self-worth is finding things to build your self-esteem and confidence. Luckily, I have sooo many ideas for you.

Your self-worth challenge: Below is a list of 20 ideas. Try to take on as many as you can. Hopefully at least one of them intrigues you, gets you excited, or gets your heart pumping.

Are you ready to take the challenge?

But wait! There is a catch…

You have to do at least 1 of these confidence boosting ideas TODAY.

Yes, today! If you’re not willing to take action, this article is not for you. This article is for the action-takers, the doers, and the people who want to become the best versions of themselves.

Okay, are you ready? You got this!

#1: Pick Your Walk-Up Song

Baseball players get a walk-up song, so why shouldn’t you? Pick a song that makes you feel alive, or that makes you feel like the best version of yourself. The best confidence songs make you feel like dancing (no judgment on the choice, and nobody has to know).

And here’s some interesting science: did you know we tend to like certain songs from our youth?

Researchers who mapped listeners against the music charts found the songs people love most tend to be the ones that were popular when they were teenagers¹.

Why is this? We tend to associate music in our brains to certain special events or new experiences. And it just happens that we experience a lot of new things when we are teenagers.

So if you’re having trouble finding a perfect song for you, try reminiscing about your past—you’re bound to find a song that makes you feel confident.

Need some inspiration? I got you!

Here are a few songs for the ’90s kids:

• Oasis - Wonderwall
• Michael Jackson - Black Or White
• Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit

And for the millennials:

• Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are
• Shakira - Hips Don’t Lie
• OutKast - Hey Ya!

And here’s a great list of confidence anthems from Billboard.

#2: Throw a One-Person Dance Party

Did you just pick your walk-up song? Great, press play and dance like your kitchen is a stadium! Dancers in regular training reported feeling more energized and less tense after a session².

Double whammy.

And don’t worry about looking weird—no one’s watching. Just move.

#3: Text 3 Awesome People

Text 3 people and tell them they are awesome. Do it RIGHT NOW! Sometimes the best way to feel confident is to help others feel confident.

The team here at Science of People has always believed that personal relationships are one of life’s greatest treasures.

So look at your most recent texts or scroll back to texts from one month ago. Ask yourself: who needs to be checked in with? Tell someone you miss them!

Bonus: If you’re having trouble finding the right first words, try reading our 57 killer conversation starters article. You’re bound to find the perfect message to send!

#4: Do the Smile-Nod

Do you know the smile-nod?

It’s that nice nonverbal facial expression we do when we want to acknowledge someone. Little do people know, adding that little extra nod takes up so little energy… but it means a whole lot more to the person you’re giving it to.

Why is it important? In one study³, a researcher walked past strangers on a busy street, interacting with each one in a different way:

• quickly glancing in their direction
• nodding and smiling at them
• avoiding all eye contact and pretending they didn’t exist

The result is astonishing.

When the researcher ignored strangers, not only did they feel disconnected from him, but they also reported feeling a “lower sense of connection to other people.”

Think about it: When strangers ignore us, we feel more negative and isolated from everyone! And the reason is simple: we ALL love to be acknowledged. Being acknowledged makes us feel that human connection we all need.

So when you are walking down the hallway today at work or see a stranger walking down the street, give them a smile and a nod. It says “I see you, and I’m happy about it.”

It is a surprisingly likable body language cue.

#5: Tape Five Photos to Your Mirror

Your camera roll is a mood booster you already own. Think of your favorite photos in your phone or storage. It’s likely they bring back feelings of happiness, novelty, or closeness to others.

Now it’s not an “unusual” feeling, since these old photos are more than just taking up precious gigabytes.

Researchers at the University of Portsmouth found⁴ that looking back over old posts and photos worked as a way of self-soothing and lifting mood.

Scrolling back reconnects you with people and moments you’d stopped thinking about.

Now go through your phone and pick 5 of your favorite photos that make you happy. Share them, set a new screen saver, put them as your phone homescreen, or better yet, print them and tape them to your bathroom mirror so you can see them every morning.

Wish you had more pictures with people you love? Check out my tutorial on How to Make Friends as an Adult (non-awkwardly).

#6: Start a Brain Bucket List

Make a bucket list for your brain! I believe everyone should have a list of all the things they want to learn and try in their lifetime. Every time you learn something, you feel more confident. Here are some ideas:

• Start a tea or herb garden.
• Learn how to make homemade pasta.
• Study the basics of a new language.
• Learn the trapeze.
• Teach yourself how to make electronic music.
• Learn the art and finesse of making sushi (yum!).
• Learn how to write a book.
• Learn self-defense.
• Learn how to be a master conversationalist.

Check out more in our full learning bucket list tutorial below**:**

#7: Spring-Clean Your Feed

Do you like the people you follow?

Chances are, if you’re like me, you need to spring clean some of those old accounts… and get some people who actually make you feel good!

Here’s how:

• Follow people who you think have great self-worth and confidence. It is contagious!
• Get rid of the “Negative Nancys” on your Instagram—negativity is also contagious!
• Follow your favorite comedians on Instagram or Twitter. Laughter is one of the fastest ways to feel amazing!

I love @Amyschumer, who always makes me laugh.

If you need some Instagram-spiration, Mashable has a great article on the 34 best Instagram accounts. Among the ones that stand out are:

• @thedogist, who takes adorable dog pictures
• @meme_appetit, for food and meme-lovers
• @natgeo, for inspiring nature pics
• @pnwcabinland, for pictures of amazing cabins built in forests

#8: Stand Like You Just Won Tag

Remember winning a game of tag as a kid? Arms up, chest open, grinning like you owned the playground. That’s the stance.

There are all kinds of science-based ways to improve your confidence.

The best way to find it again? Channel your inner kiddo and pretend you just won the ultimate game of tag!

Watch our video below to learn how to be more confident:

#9: Hunt Down One Tiny Joy

Joy hides in small places, and your only job today is to catch one.

Think about the everyday moments that lift you: sunshine on your face, getting something unexpected for free, sliding into bed with fresh sheets, finding a $20 bill in an old coat pocket. None of them are big, and all of them count.

What’s your little source of joy? For me, my young daughter, Sienna, always reminds me to embrace wonder.

Think of one small thing that brings you joy. Don’t let it come to you; make it happen.

• Go spend time with your kids.
• Try stargazing.
• Ask a deep question to your partner.
• Go spend time with your funniest friend.
• Cherish every bite at your next meal.
• Spend time doing arts and crafts.
• Go for a walk—or walk your dog.
• Go see a movie.
• Read about someone else’s joy.
• Build an amazing playlist.

#10: Do the 10-Breath Reset

Take 10 deep breaths. Consider it your reset button: sometimes the best way to snap out of a funk and boost your confidence is to slow down and breathe deeply.

When you slow down and pay attention to your breath, the stress and the noise in your head tend to quiet down. You feel a little more in control, and everything moves a touch slower.

Do 10 right now. If you really want to level up your self-worth, try turning inward. I especially like taking deep breaths before my next important video call.

Want to go deeper? We have a free, science-based guide on how to meditate that walks you through your first five minutes.

#11: Build Your Rocky Routine

Every fighter gets an entrance. Create your own pump-up routine!

• Athletes do warm-ups.
• Musicians practice before hitting the stage.
• Actors put in their ear buds to get in the zone for their next scene.

And you? You should have your own Rocky routine. We even have an article on how priming can affect your behavior.

Here are some ideas to create an amazing pump up routine to increase your self-worth:

• Make a playlist for each of your different work tasks. Your workouts? Your moods? We have some great ideas in our music and productivity guide.
• Have a favorite inspiring / funny / beautiful video you like to watch before a big event? We have our own favorite videos to bring us nonstop laughter every time we watch them!
• Try associating smell with a certain state of mind. In Jordan Belfort’s book, The Wolf of Wall Street, a unique smell (such as a blend of herbs, a certain cologne, or a specific food) is used to prime Jordan before making a big sales pitch.

#12: Evict the Frumpy Clothes

Some clothes cheer you on. Others whisper “frumpy” every time you put them on. Time to serve those ones an eviction notice!

A 2012 study⁵ explored what researchers call “enclothed cognition.” The idea that clothes shape thinking.

Later work has struggled to reproduce parts of it, so hold this one loosely.

The setup was clever, though. Participants all wore the same white coat. Some were told it was a doctor’s coat. Others were told it belonged to a painter.

Can you guess which group performed better at tasks? If you thought it was the group with the doctor’s coat, you’re right!

But, why?

The research behind enclothed cognition suggests that it’s not so much about what we wear, but what we think about what we wear.

The people told the coat belonged to a doctor paid closer attention than the people told the same coat belonged to a painter.

Wearing your confident clothes is also a great way to sound more confident!

Bottom line: if it doesn’t fit or makes you feel dumpy, it isn’t worth wearing. Don’t let your clothes wear you.

I also have some other fun clothing hacks to feel great about yourself. Watch our video below to learn the top 10 clothing hacks everyone should know:

#13: Upgrade Your No to an “I Don’t”

Here’s one of the most powerful words on the planet: no.

You’ve got FULL permission to say no. The absolute worst thing to be is a “yes man / woman.”

And if you’re having a hard time saying no, try saying “I don’t” instead. Research on how people turn things down found that saying “I don’t” worked much better than “I can’t.”⁶

Why? Because when you say, “I can’t go to the party / buy the subscription / lend you money / _____” it sounds like an excuse.

But when you say “I don’t want to _____,” you’ve got two things: conviction and stability.

Say no or “I don’t” to one thing you are dreading.

There is nothing worse than going to an awkward social event or spending time with difficult people you don’t like.

Life is just. Too. Short!

#14: Make Someone’s Day on Purpose

Anyone can be nice by accident. Today, do it on purpose. Kindness is a funny thing: it not only makes other people feel better. It also makes YOU feel better.

That’s why kindness is one of the most important tips in this article.

Helping others is one of the fastest ways to build your self-worth.

Think of it like this: When you help improve the self-worth of others… you also improve your own. See the pattern? That’s why I am writing this article for you!

Do one nice thing for someone in your life. Order your best friend a bouquet of flowers. Do the dishes for your partner.

And you don’t even have to be kind to someone close to you. Kindness to anyone spurs self-esteem and self-worth.

Here are some ideas:

• Write someone a thank you card for a time when they were kind to you.
• Call your mom and tell her you love her.
• Buy someone a coffee.
• Make an introduction to two people who should know each other.
• Send someone flowers who would never expect it.
• Compliment a stranger who looks like they’re having a rough day.
• Pay for someone else’s meal.
• Select something from 20 more ideas to be a better person.

#15: Give Your Voicemail a Glow-Up

Want to hear about something people often forget?

Their own voicemail (I’ll explain soon). Little do people know that the way they feel about themselves, and their own self value, can be heard in their own voice.

A study of how confidence sounds⁷ measured both the vocal loudness and how fast someone responded when answering trivia questions. And guess what? They found that the more confident someone was in their answers… the louder and faster they sounded.

But you didn’t need me to tell you that. When you’re naturally more confident, in a comfortable environment with a close group of friends, or when you’re singing in the shower, your voice just sounds better.

Having better self-worth makes your voice naturally sound better.

And, like the above tip, there’s a pattern. When your voice sounds better… you’ll have higher self-esteem and self-worth.

So here’s an action step for you: Re-record your voicemail so you actually like the way you sound.

And if you need more tips on how to increase your vocal power, check out my tutorial on upping your vocal power in the video below. This will not only help you sound confident… It will help you feel confident!

#16: Take the 12-Minute Mood Walk

This is an easy one—go take a 12-minute walk. (Around the block counts.)

Why 12?

A study from Iowa State University⁸ found that as little as 12 minutes of ordinary walking lifted people’s mood, even when they went in expecting it to do the opposite.

Sometimes a quick fix to lift our self-worth is as easy as changing our environment. If you can, try walking outside. Another study⁹ found that walking in nature left people less stressed than watching nature indoors did.

But sometimes it’s not easy to walk regularly. Maybe it’s too inconvenient or there’s no park nearby. If you already walk all the time, try a new setting—is there a new spot you have been wanting to try?

Go try a new cup of coffee. Or pick up a new kind of gum at the local mart.

Easy, peasy, powerful.

#17: Keep a Brag File

Why remind yourself of your successes?

Reminding yourself of what you’ve already pulled off makes the next scary thing feel more doable, and it gives you something concrete to reach for at 2 a.m. when you’re relitigating the meeting.

What is one of the most valuable things you can do to increase your feelings of success and self-worth? Keep a brag file.

In a nutshell, a brag file keeps your successes at-the-ready. Open it and you’re reading your own receipts.

Here’s how to make a brag file in 3 simple steps:

1. Brainstorm. Sit down and make a list of all the successes you have had—both large and small. I prefer to keep them online, so I can have access to my brag file anywhere, anytime.
2. Add them to your brag file. For me, this is a little folder in Evernote. For you, this could be a poster on your bedroom wall, or a little note in your wallet / purse.
3. Add more. After your brag file is created, you can make it bigger by keeping nice emails from colleagues, sweet social media comments, or thank-you notes from friends. Add to it every time you have a success, and look through it when you need a self-worth pick-me-up!

#18: Excavate Your Desk

Somewhere under those papers is a desk, and we’re going to find it. Sorry dirt-lovers, but how people talk about their space and how they feel that day tend to go together.

In a study¹⁰, women who described their homes as “cluttered” or full of “unfinished projects” felt lower and more drained than women who described their spaces as “restful” and “restorative.”

If you’re especially low in conscientiousness, you might hate cleaning. I get it—sometimes old socks reveal themselves after hiding for weeks under the bed.

But more than anything else, cleaning is a symbol of respect and your own self-worth. What’s more is that cleaning is simple and only takes minutes to see an improvement.

It’s time to do a desk makeover. Try throwing away old papers or things that don’t serve you anymore. Take just 30 minutes to clean out your desk. Do you like every single decorative item sitting on the table? That old Applebee’s gift card your ex-coworker gave you? That old coffee mug you got as a secret Santa gift?

Time to sift and sort out the junk.

#19: Write a Surprise LinkedIn Review

Some of the most successful, high self-worth people use one special tool for their career success: LinkedIn.

In fact, there are now more than 1 billion members on LinkedIn, spanning over 200 countries and regions across the globe. That’s nearly three times the entire United States population.

But did you know you can spread that joy through LinkedIn? If you want increased self-worth, try logging into LinkedIn and doing this 1 thing…

Write a positive LinkedIn review. I can almost guarantee it’ll put a smile on someone’s face. And, increase your feelings of self-worth, too.

You see, when you think about the great work relationships you’ve had, it can help you with your own confidence and self-worth. You’ll reminisce about the great work relationships you’ve had… think of the great moments you spent working with your colleagues… and who knows—you might even get one back!

If you have time, also try one of our recommended 15 Tips for LinkedIn.

#20: Esteemable Acts

What are esteemable acts?

Esteemable acts are actions you can take to increase your confidence. Positive self-talk, exercise, and meditation are all examples of esteemable acts you can do if you need a self-esteem boost.

People often assume high self-esteem makes you more attractive to be around.

But is it really true, or is it just a cause of inflated ego?

Here’s one thing the research¹¹ supports: people with higher self-esteem tend to be happier.

So how do you reap these amazing benefits?

Here are some ways I engage in esteemable acts:

• Sing in the shower while blasting my favorite tunes
• Or, dance instead of sing
• Look back at my life and see how much I’ve accomplished
• Replace toxic news with the funniest YouTube videos
• Read a good self-development book
• Look in the mirror and say, “You got this!”
• Give myself a self-compliment

BONUS #21: Write Your 3 Gratefuls

Write down 3 things you are grateful for and write them in the video comments or tweet me @Vvanedwards right now! Harvard has even rounded up research tying gratitude to being happier:

• Couples who expressed more gratitude towards each other felt not only more positive towards the other person but also more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship.
• Managers who thanked other people who worked for them found that their employees were more motivated to work.

Here are my 3 grateful things:

1. I’m grateful for my wonderful daughter, Sienna.
2. I’m grateful for my amazing hubby.
3. I’m grateful for YOU! I am honored to be able to help you improve your self-esteem and self-worth. It’s my life’s mission to help you harness your inner potential.

THANK YOU for being you.

Self-Worth Takeaway: Your 7-Day Week

That’s a long list. And a list this long is easy to read all the way through, feel inspired by, and never act on.

So here’s a simpler way in. Instead of trying everything at once, run one small booster a day for a week. One a day, for seven days.

1. Monday, connect: text three awesome people (#3) or write one positive LinkedIn review (#19).
2. Tuesday, move: take the 12-minute mood walk (#16) or throw a one-person dance party (#2).
3. Wednesday, clear: spend 30 minutes on a desk or closet makeover (#12, #18).
4. Thursday, reflect: start your brag file (#17) and drop in three wins.
5. Friday, sound the part: give your voicemail its glow-up (#15) and pick your walk-up song (#1).
6. Saturday, give: do one genuine act of kindness (#14).
7. Sunday, rest and notice: take 10 slow breaths (#10) and write down three things you’re grateful for (#21).

Notice the pattern? Most of these point outward, toward people, movement, and small acts of care.

Action Step: Screenshot this list or drop it into your notes app right now, then set a daily reminder for the next seven days. One booster a day. That’s the whole plan.

Once you’ve got a week of that behind you, our guide to becoming the best version of yourself is where to point all of it next.