How to Start Over in Life: 10 Things You Must Do Today

According to the Thriving Center of Psychology, 64% of Millenials^{1https://thrivingcenterofpsych.com/blog/millennial-midlife-crisis/} have faced a life crisis.

Whether driven by a midlife crisis or a desire for personal growth, many find themselves yearning for a fresh start—you’re not alone!

Watch the video below if you want to learn how to identify tasks that drain you, embrace play and discover your passion, and ultimately find your calling in life:

Moving on, in this article, I’ll guide you through the essential steps to starting over with practical advice and inspiring real-life stories, including my journey on rediscovering myself.

Here’s a quick summary of the article: Starting over can refresh your mental and emotional well-being, offering a chance to redefine your purpose and build better relationships. Whether in career, location, or personal life—-embracing growth, setting SMART goals, prioritizing self-care, and seeking professional guidance can help you start over and succeed. Are you ready to take the leap?

Why Start Over in Life? 

Starting new can refresh your mental and emotional well-being. It can present you with the chance to redefine our purpose, build improved relationships, and establish a renewed connection with yourself and the world around you.

Whether it’s a career change, a move to a new city, meeting new people, or removing old habits, embracing a fresh start can lead to a better life—and I believe it!

In fact, I know it.

Years ago, I found myself working various jobs, always feeling like something was missing. I jumped from role to role, including working security and teaching English. But no matter what I did, the dissatisfaction lingered.

It wasn’t until I decided to start over and follow my passion for writing that everything changed. I poured my heart into it… and loved it more than anything! Through writing, I discovered a sense of purpose and a way to voice my opinion.

Starting over wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. It gave me the chance to redefine my life, pursue my true passions, and find happiness in ways I never thought possible!

Want to know how I did it? Here are ten practical tips that helped me—and I hope they help you start over in life, too!

10 Most Effective Tips to Help You Start Over and Succeed

Try New Things (Release Your Cows Technique)

Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Vietnamese Zen master and peace activist. He often shared the story of “releasing the cows.” In this story, a farmer comes to a monk and expresses his worry about his cows getting lost, his crops failing, and his livelihood being at risk. The monk tells the farmer, “You should release your cows.”

This story is about letting go of the things that cause us stress and suffering. By releasing our “cows,” we free ourselves to focus on what truly matters and discover new paths to happiness and fulfillment.

What cows or stressors are you carrying in life?

Release your cows. Imagine the freedom of release when you:

• Enjoy continual learning
• Turn setbacks into setups for future success
• Cultivate resilience that outshines defeat
• Encourages innovation by questioning the status quo

By shifting your mindset of needing to achieve something to obtain happiness, we can truly cultivate happiness and resilience no matter what situation we find ourselves in.

For example, take actor and comedian Jim Carrey. At the height of his career, Carrey was one of the most successful actors in Hollywood, known for his roles in blockbusters like “Ace Ventura.” Yet, he found himself feeling unfulfilled and struggling with depression.

Carrey decided to take a step back and focus on his passion for art and painting. He also took a dive into spirituality and mindfulness. By “releasing the cows” of his Hollywood ambitions, Carrey discovered a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Carrey even stated^{2https://www.linkedin.com/posts/teddy-mitrosilis_in-1985-jim-carrey-wrote-himself-a-10-million-activity-7049003883037093888-NiSV/}:

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

This realization led him to a happier, more content life, where he found joy in the present moment and in the simpler things

Action Step: Spend a couple minutes brainstorming your cows—what ideas are you holding onto that, once gotten rid of, could radically transform you for the better? These could be things like getting that new car or needing to be in a relationship.

Once you’ve pinpointed your cows, spend less time doing or pursuing these ideas. Instead, actively pursuing new interests that you’ve always wanted to pursue. What have you had an interest in—even a small one—but never started or only dabbled in?

• Choose three new skills or hobbies, like learning a language, painting, or yoga
• Start by being goalless. Try doing these hobbies—without feeling the need to measure, rank the best hobbies, or think about what you’d “get” in the future.
• Stay open to experimenting with different activities until you find what excites you!

For more helpful tips on self-growth, try this: 10 Emotional Intelligence Traits to Master for Self-Growth

Be Open, Don’t Hide Your Feelings

One of the most important steps in starting over is to be open about your feelings. Suppressing emotions can lead to greater stress and prevent you from fully embracing your new path.

Terry Crews^{3https://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/terry-crews-porn-addiction} is a great example of being open about his struggles with porn addiction. After battling the addiction since age 12, it nearly destroyed his marriage of over 30 years to Rebecca King-Crews.

Be open. “By not telling people, it becomes more powerful. But when you put it out there in the open, just like I’m doing right now, it loses its power.” —-Terry Crew

Action Steps: Open communication and self-reflection are crucial when starting over. Sharing your emotions and seeking support can make the journey smoother and more manageable.

• Talk about your feelings with those you trust, whether it’s your close friends or Family, their support can be invaluable
• Talk to a therapist who can provide the tools you need to process your emotions healthily
• Keep a journal to process your feelings and track your progress

Stay In Your Industry, But Find a Pivot

Sometimes, a complete career change is not necessary. Pivoting within your current industry can provide a fresh start while leveraging your existing expertise.

Take how Daniel Radcliffe^{4https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/daniel-radcliffe-join-harry-potter-224306243.html#:~:text=In%20the%20meantime%2C%20the%2034,E!%20of%20being%20a%20dad.} transitioned from his role in Harry Potter to diverse roles in indie films and theater. It allows him to explore different aspects of his craft while staying in the entertainment industry.

Action Steps:

• List your top skills and consider how they can apply to new roles. For example, a marketer’s communication and analysis skills can pivot to public relations or content strategy.
• Stay updated on industry trends and be willing to adapt your skills to meet new demands.
• Network within your industry by attending events, joining professional groups, and connecting with colleagues to find opportunities. LinkedIn^{5 https://www.linkedin.com/learning/search?trk=guest_homepage-basic_guest_nav_menu_learning} is a great place to start!

Remember: Pivoting doesn’t mean starting from scratch. You are building on your existing knowledge and expertise.

And if you want to make sure your pivot succeeds, try gaining new skills. Here’s a goodie for you:

Make a Barrier Breakdown Journal

Obstacles are a natural part of any journey. Instead of viewing them as roadblocks, see them as opportunities to learn and grow. Overcoming challenges leads to greater success and personal satisfaction.

Staying consistent with new habits can lead to great results, but setbacks are inevitable. Your body might adapt to a new workout, your daily routine may become dull, or unexpected challenges might arise.

Action Steps:

• Dig deep to find what’s really holding you back. Is it boredom, lack of progress, or a sudden life change? Knowing the root cause is the first step to solving it.
• Adjust your goals. Are they too ambitious or not challenging enough? Make sure they match your current situation and motivation levels.
• Smash through obstacles with fresh ideas. Bored with your workout? Switch it up with a new class or take it outside. Overwhelmed by a project? Break it into smaller tasks, such as “Complete the introduction by Monday,” “Finish the first section by Wednesday,” etc.
• Write your goals on sticky notes and place them on your bathroom mirror or computer monitor. This can keep you focused and motivated.

For more insights on how to overcome obstacles, check out our blog post: 10 Steps to Reinvent Yourself and Realize Your Potential

Create Your Self-Care Toolkit

Taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being is essential during times of change. To soar high and freely toward your goals, you must first ground yourself in habits that nurture your body and mind.

One great example is how CEO Ariana Huffington founded Thrive Global, a company that focuses on promoting well-being and productivity, after she experienced burnout. As she states in Bloomberg^{6https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-10-27/burnout-is-a-global-epidemic-arianna-huffington-says}:

“It was based on this collective delusion that in order to succeed, in order to perform at our best, we have to be always on, but that’s simply not true… humans need downtime to thrive.”

Action Steps:

Incorporate regular exercise. Try:

• HIIT Workouts: High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) is efficient and effective. Apps like Freeletics offer guided HIIT workouts that you can do anywhere.
• Yoga: Practice yoga to improve flexibility, strength, and relaxation. Platforms like Yoga with Adriene on YouTube offer free yoga classes for all levels.
• Running or Walking: Lace up your sneakers and hit the trails. Use apps like Strava to track your progress and connect with a community of runners.

Practice mindfulness or meditation to manage stress:

• Guided Meditations: Use apps like Headspace^{7https://www.headspace.com} or Calm^{8https://www.calm.com} for guided meditations that can help you relax and focus.
• Mindful Breathing: Practice mindful breathing techniques such as the 4-7-8 method (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8) to calm your mind.
• Mindfulness Practices: Engage in daily mindfulness activities like mindful eating or mindful walking. Books like “The Miracle of Mindfulness” by Thich Nhat Hanh can offer great insights.

Feed your body with nutritious foods to feel energized and vibrant.

• Balanced Diet: Aim for a mix of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. The MyPlate^{9https://www.myplate.gov} website offers guidelines on balanced eating.
• Meal Planning: Use apps like Mealime^{10https://www.mealime.com} to plan healthy meals that fit your dietary preferences and schedule.
• Superfoods: Incorporate superfoods like berries, nuts, and leafy greens into your diet for an extra nutrient boost. Books like “Superfood Smoothies” by Julie Morris provide delicious recipes.

Get quality sleep to wake up refreshed and ready for tomorrow.

• Sleep Routine: Establish a consistent sleep routine by going to bed and waking up at the same time every day. Apps like Sleep Cycle^{11https://www.sleepcycle.com} can help track your sleep patterns.
• Sleep Environment: Create a restful sleep environment by keeping your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. Consider using a white noise machine or blackout curtains.
• Relaxation Techniques: Practice relaxation techniques before bed, such as reading, taking a warm bath, or listening to calming music. Books like “Why We Sleep” by Matthew Walker offer valuable insights into improving sleep quality.

Adopt the Positivity Pivot Technique

Avoid negativity. Your mindset can significantly impact your ability to succeed in starting over. Focus on positive thinking and self-belief to overcome challenges.

Just take a look on how Oprah Winfrey faced numerous adversities^{12https://esoftskills.com/oprah-winfreys-journey-transforming-adversity-into-opportunity/} in her early life but maintained a positive outlook. As she says, “Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.”. Her journey shows how a positive mindset can turn challenges into opportunities for growth and success.

Action Steps: Your thoughts can either undermine or propel your eagerness to change in order to succeed. Challenge negative thoughts and cultivate a positive mindset to overcome doubt

• Try to identify three challenging moments each day. For each, write a positive takeaway. For instance, if you missed a deadline, view it as a chance to enhance your time management. This habit trains your brain to spot positives in any situation, gradually shifting your mindset to be more optimistic.
• Practice daily affirmations that reinforce your goals. Start your day by saying, “I am capable and will achieve my goals,” or “Every setback is a setup for a comeback.” Want more? Check out this list: 417 Daily Positive Affirmations For Personal Growth
• Join a professional group where you can interact with motivated and supportive individuals
• Look for opportunities in difficulties, such as viewing rejections as chance to do better
• Ask for constructive criticism to understand how you can enhance your skills or approach

Want to build more confidence? Try these helpful tips on: How to Trust Yourself and Build Self-Confidence

Develop a Persistence Algorithm

Change takes time. Real growth doesn’t happen overnight, and the journey is just as important as the destination.

Remember how Walt Disney^{13https://www.biography.com/movies-tv/walt-disney-failures} faced numerous setbacks and bankruptcies before creating the Disney empire? His persistence and patience were key to his success.

Despite the failures, he continued to pursue his vision, eventually building one of the most iconic and beloved brands in the world.

Action Steps: Be patient. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow. With focus and perseverance, you’ll get there, brick by brick.

• Every step counts! When you complete a task, reward yourself with something enjoyable, like a nice dinner or a day off
• Having trouble with persistence? Create a vision board^{14https://venngage.com/features/vision-board-maker} to fuel your motivation and remind yourself every day what you’re striving for
• Set a reminder^{15https://calendly.com/} on your calendar for a weekly or monthly review session to assess your progress and adjust your plans

Set S.M.A.R.T Goals

You’ve likely heard of SMART goals^{16https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/education/what-are-smart-goals}, but are you truly applying the rule? To make your goals truly powerful, they need to be SMART.

Start with your big dreams and break them into smaller, actionable steps. Here’s a trick you can stand by to be S.M.A.R.T about it:

• Specific: Get detailed about what you want to achieve.
• Measurable: Define how you’ll know when you’ve reached your goal.
• Achievable: Aim high, but keep it within reach.
• Relevant: Ensure your goals align with your values (remember those?).
• Time-bound: Set a timeline. Deadlines aren’t just for work projects.

For example: Instead of saying, “I’ll be more fit,” try “I’ll go for a 30-minute walk five days a week.” See the difference?

Actions Steps: Aim for realistic yet challenging goals that push you and offer the greatest personal satisfaction.

• Define clear goals and be specific about what you want to achieve. For example, instead of saying “Improve fitness,” say “Run a 5K in under 30 minutes within six months.
• Use measurable targets and try to include specific amounts and dates. Rather than “Save money,” specify “Save $5,000 by December 31, 2024.”
• Set achievable targets to maintain motivation and confidence
• Set deadlines. If your goal is to write a book, set a deadline like “Complete the first draft by October 1, 2024.” This creates a sense of urgency and helps you stay on track.

Reminder: Avoid setting goals that are too easy. Achieving something without effort can deter you from pursuing more ambitious goals.

Conduct a Quarterly Goals & Values Audit

How well do you know yourself? You might’ve known yourself a few months ago… but are you the same person now?

Every three months, set aside an hour to review your goals and assess whether they still resonate with your core values:

• How do you envision your daily life?
• What will you do if someone close to you disagrees or tries to tear down your ideas? 

In his memoir^{17https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/14/books/matthew-mcconaughey-memoir-greenlights.html} “Greenlights,” McConaughey discusses a pivotal moment when he reevaluated his career goals and values. Despite his success in romantic comedies, he decided to take a break and wait for roles that aligned with his deeper aspirations. This led to a career resurgence with critically acclaimed roles in films like Dallas Buyers Club^{18https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790636/} and Interstellar^{19https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0816692/}.

Knowing yourself, you can better achieve whatever you want in life.

Action Steps: Be patient with yourself as you navigate this process. Your clarity and commitment will guide you through challenges and toward success.

• Write down the values that define who you are and what you stand for. Need a helping hand? Check out: 300+ Core Values You’ll Ever Need For Work & Relationships
• Picture the routines, the environment, and the people around you that you encounter on a day-to-day basis. Do they align with your values, and what small change(s) can you make today to align yourself better with your values?

Find a Mentor and Follow Their Advice

Whether it’s a career coach, therapist, or mentor, professional guidance can provide valuable insights and support during your transition.

Meet with a mentor monthly, bi-weekly, or weekly. Prepare your challenges, progress, and questions ahead of time as well.

Action Steps:

• List areas where you need help to focus your efforts, whether it’s career, relationships, or social skills
• Find your ideal mentor or mentors. Don’t know how? Check out our guide: How to Find a Mentor (& Everything You Need to Know!)
• Clearly outline what you hope to achieve, such as “Gain insights on career advancement strategies” or “Learn best practices in project management”
• Schedule bi-weekly or monthly meetings with your mentor, and create an action plan to implement their advice. Use tools like Google Calendar to keep track of appointments and follow-ups
• Consider keeping a feedback journal to track and reflect on advice given

Pro Tip: If you want a great mentor, do you ask them, “Can you be my mentor?” No! This approach is well-meaning but doesn’t work. Here are better ways to find a mentor:

Bonus: Visualize Your Future

A year from now, three years, ten. Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? Visualizing your future can be a powerful motivator, giving your brain a preview of your best moments ahead—it’s important to note that this is NOT about planning, but rather about dreaming.

The visualization technique, used by athletes, CEOs, and performers, really enhances real-world performance!

After visualizing, align your daily actions and habits with this vision. If you see yourself as a business owner, take one step today—read about entrepreneurship or brainstorm ideas. Make it simple!

Connecting daily actions to your long-term vision keeps you motivated and focused, making your dreams more attainable.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) on How to Start Over in Life

By addressing these FAQs, you can gain a better understanding of the steps and mindset required to successfully start over and achieve your goals. 

Key Takeaways on How to Start Over in Life

Whether you’re pivoting in your career, moving to a new city, or redefining personal relationships, a new beginning offers the chance for profound change. Here are the key takeaways to help you boldly navigate this exciting journey.

• Recognize when to move on: Just like you wouldn’t keep reading a book you don’t enjoy, sometimes leaving a draining situation is necessary for your well-being.
• Starting over is empowering: It’s not about escaping but about pursuing happiness and 
• Boost your well-being: A fresh start can rejuvenate your mental and emotional health, helping you redefine your purpose and build better relationships.
• Embrace growth: Starting over offers a blank slate to explore new interests, develop skills, and set new goals. Continuous learning and resilience are key.
• Be open about your feelings: Suppressing emotions hinders progress. Sharing your struggles with trusted individuals or professionals can provide valuable support.
• Set SMART Goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound goals provide clear direction and keep you focused on your objectives.
• Prioritize self-care: Physical, mental, and emotional well-being are vital during times of change. Incorporate exercise, mindfulness, and a healthy diet into your routine.
• Cultivate a positive mindset: Positive thinking and self-belief can help you overcome challenges. Surround yourself with positivity and reframe setbacks as opportunities.
• Stay persistent and patient: Change takes time. Celebrate small victories, learn from setbacks, and keep your long-term goals in sight.
• Revisit your goals and values: Regularly reassess your goals and ensure they align with your core values. This alignment will guide your decisions and actions.

As you prepare for change, be clear about what you want and what you need. Identify the skills you need and find the environment that supports you to make the change you desire, and you will be the change you’ve always wanted!

As Barack Obama says, “Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”
For more tips on how to be more successful, try this: 7 Secrets of Wildly Successful People