86% of CEOs1https://www.vistage.com/research-center/personal-development/leadership-mentoring/ say having a mentor was critical to their career success.
Having a mentor means you don’t have to figure everything out via trial and error. Someone has already built the wheel, and they can show you how to use it.
In this comprehensive article, we’ll explore how to find a mentor and explain why they can be such powerful relationships for your personal and professional growth.
What is a Mentor?
A mentor is an experienced advisor who offers tailored guidance to help a mentee grow professionally or personally. Unlike a traditional teacher, a mentor invests in a long-term, 1-on-1 relationship with their mentee.
Mentors usually teach more than just technical skills—they also convey soft skills like mindset, strategic thinking, or leadership skills.
In many ways, a mentorship resembles an older sibling relationship. These relationships can be long-lasting and often forge a particular emotional bond.
In addition to finding a mentor, if you’d like some additional guidance on how to boost your career development, you might enjoy this free goodie:
Ready to start planning your professional development?
Use our free worksheet to get started on your Professional Development Plan.
How Mentorship Can Fasttrack Your Personal and Professional Development
Here is some staggering research2https://www.mentorcliq.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/MQ_REPORT___2022_Mentoring_Impact.pdf on mentorship programs:
| Type of company | % of these companies have a visible mentorship program |
| Fortune 500 | 84% |
| Fortune 250 | 90% |
| Fortune 100 | 96% |
| Fortune 50 | 100% |
In case you aren’t certain of the term, Fortune 50 lists the 50 US companies with the highest gross annual revenues per year.
The most successful companies have a mentoring program because they know that mentorship is vital to career development.
Are you ready to turbocharge your career and personal life? Let’s dive into how mentorship can be your secret weapon for rapid personal and professional development.
- Accelerated learning: Life doesn’t come with a handbook. A mentor can offer you a shortcut to valuable lessons that took them years to learn. They’ll provide insights and practical tips you can apply immediately, saving you time and potential heartache.
- Personalized guidance: Watching YouTube videos is helpful, but online teachers speak to a general audience. A mentor can be a personalized guide who understands your challenges and helps you map the best routes to your goals.
- Accountability: Have you ever set a New Year’s resolution and forgotten about it by February? We’ve all been there. A mentor keeps you accountable. They’ll check in on your progress, help you set milestones, and give you that gentle (or not-so-gentle) nudge when needed.
- Networking: There’s a common phrase, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” A mentor can introduce you to industry leaders, potential partners, or other networking opportunities you wouldn’t have had access to otherwise. It’s like getting a VIP pass to a new world of possibilities.
- Boosted confidence: Something is empowering about having someone who believes in you, especially when that someone has been around the block a few times. A mentor’s faith in your abilities can give you the confidence to take on challenges you might have otherwise avoided.
A mentor can be your shortcut to success, offering everything from life hacks to emotional support. And who doesn’t want that?
What Qualities to Look for in a Mentor
When looking for a mentor, it’s not just about who’s available. Here’s how to identify the qualities that make for a stellar mentor and a successful mentoring relationship.
- Experience & Expertise: First and foremost, you’ll want someone who’s got the T-shirt for the journey you’re on. They don’t have to be a Nobel laureate, but they should have a track record in your field or area of interest, making you think, “Wow, I could learn a lot from this person.”
- Availability & commitment: Time is a precious resource, and your mentor needs to be willing to spend some of it on you. Look for someone willing and eager to invest time in your personal development.
- Good communication skills: Your mentor could be the wisest person in the world, but if they can’t communicate that wisdom effectively, it’s like having a map you can’t read. An effective mentor can articulate ideas clearly and is a good listener, too.
- Empathy & emotional intelligence: A great mentor understands your goals and gets the emotional landscape you’re navigating. They should be able to sense when you need honest feedback, a confidence boost, or a moment to breathe.
5 Tips to Find a Mentor
According to a study by CNBC3https://www.cnbc.com/2019/07/16/nine-in-10-workers-who-have-a-mentor-say-they-are-happy-in-their-jobs.html, employees with mentors see more professional opportunities.
Finding a mentor is a worthwhile investment. But there is a courting process to it.
Pairing with a mentor is like dating. You need to put yourself out there and meet people, make your interests known, and then go through stages of deepening the connection before making it official.
Find potential mentor candidates
Like finding a romantic partner, there are many ways to find a mentor.
Some people find a mentor through events related to their industry or area of interest.
Others find a mentor through social media platforms like LinkedIn and Twitter.
Action Steps: Try one of these approaches:
- Research industry events and go to one this month. Aim to introduce yourself to at least three people who impress you, and don’t be shy about expressing your interest in finding a mentor.
- Identify 5–10 professionals on LinkedIn or Twitter in your field and start engaging with their posts. Eventually, send them a DM.
- List people you already know who make a good mentor. Consider reaching out to one of them for a coffee.
- Try MentorPass, a website that pairs mentors with mentees.
Build rapport
While getting straight to the point and asking someone to be your mentor might be tempting, building rapport first is usually the way to go.
To use our dating analogy, having your intentions out in the open is good, but you wouldn’t propose marriage on the first date. Similarly, mentorship is a commitment, and both parties are likely to say “yes” if there’s an existing relationship to build upon.
Before popping the question, engage in meaningful conversations, seek their advice on specific challenges, or even collaborate on a small project. Once you’ve shown that you value their expertise and have something to bring, you’ll be in a much better position to ask for mentorship formally.
Action Step: Ask a potential mentor for a brief meeting. Prepare by studying their recent work and coming in with ideas on how you could help them. When you meet, don’t be afraid to ask for advice—this is a chance to test the waters of the mentorship dynamic.
Think about how you can benefit them.
While many mentors are in it just for the joy of seeing their mentee’s progress, some mentor relationships are a two-way street, where you also provide value to them.
For example, you might teach them how to build a website or offer to connect them with someone from your network.
Action Step: During your interactions, share a helpful article, an exciting update about your field, or even a fresh perspective on a problem they’re interested in.
Show that you’ll take their advice
A mentor’s willingness to invest in you is often tied to how likely you are to act on their advice.
Mentors are more likely to go the extra mile for you if you’re committed and goal-oriented and demonstrate that you will use their insights to make strides. They can sense when their advice will truly make an impact.
Conversely, mentors can also pick up on that vibe if you’re collecting advice like trinkets without the real intention of taking action. And let’s be honest, no one wants to feel like their wisdom is being tossed into a bottomless pit, never to be seen again.
Action Step: To show your mentor that you’re serious about taking their advice to heart, take immediate, visible steps to implement one or two of their suggestions as soon as possible. Follow up with them to share your progress and results, even small ones.
Ask directly but thoughtfully.
Once you’ve built a rapport, formally ask for a mentor relationship. Make it clear what you’re looking for and why you think they’re your perfect mentor.
Action Step: Prepare a brief “mentorship pitch” explaining why you think they would be the ideal mentor and what you hope to achieve through the mentorship. Be sure to clarify with each other your expectations around how often you’ll meet.
The Main Misconceptions and Challenges of Mentorship and How to Overcome Them
Think mentorship is a smooth ride to success without any bumps? Not so fast. While the benefits are abundant, some common misconceptions and challenges can throw a wrench in the works.
Let’s debunk those myths and tackle those hurdles to make your mentorship journey as impactful as possible.
The “sage on a stage” misconception
Some people think a mentor should have all the answers, like a career oracle. In reality, mentors are guides, not gods. They’re here to offer perspective, not to hand you a life roadmap on a silver platter.
Overcoming it: Adjust your expectations. Value the mentor’s role as someone who offers guidance based on their own experiences, and remember that the ultimate decisions are yours to make.
Commitment issues
Sometimes, one or both parties need help to keep the mentorship relationship active and beneficial. Life happens, schedules get crazy, and months have passed without meaningful interaction.
Overcoming it: From the start, agree on a consistent meeting schedule and stick to it. Make sure both sides understand the level of commitment required and are willing to invest the time and effort.
If you falter off your original commitment, take a moment to discuss if you can both still show up to this relationship.
Mentor-mentee mismatch
Like a bad date, sometimes the chemistry isn’t there. Whether it’s a clash in communication styles or differing expectations, a mismatch can make the relationship feel unproductive and unenjoyable.
Overcoming it: If, despite best efforts, things aren’t working, it’s okay to end the relationship amicably. A respectful breakup opens the door for other mentorship opportunities for both parties.
The “one mentor fits all” myth.
Some think one mentor can guide them through every twist and turn in their career or life. While it’s great if you find such a multi-talented mentor, it’s often beneficial to seek expertise from multiple people for different areas of your life.
Overcoming it: Wait to put all your eggs in one mentor basket. Having different mentors for your personal and professional development is acceptable.
It’s also fine to recognize that your work mentor is a blessing for your career but might not be the best fit to help your relationship struggles.
Frequently Asked Questions About Mentorship
Mentorship is a long-term relationship where an experienced individual guides a less experienced person personally or professionally. Most definitions of mentorship clarify that mentorship differs from coaching or counseling because it’s often more informal and based on the mentor’s personal experience in a specific field. A mentor is like an older sibling, whereas a coach is like a personal trainer.
Mentorship is crucial for growth because it provides personalized, long-term guidance to help you navigate complex challenges. Effective mentoring relationships can accelerate your learning curve, provide accountability resources, and help you make smarter decisions.
Identify professionals with experience and expertise in your desired field to find a suitable mentor. Reach out through networking events, social media, or mutual contacts, and don’t hesitate to express why you admire their work and would value their mentorship.
From a mentorship relationship, expect consistent guidance, support, and constructive feedback tailored to your needs. To set career or personal goals, have an open conversation with your mentor about your aspirations and challenges, and then map out achievable milestones together.
Mentorship can benefit professionals at all levels, not just beginners. Whether a junior employee or a seasoned professional, you can gain fresh perspectives, refine strategies, and broaden your network through a fruitful mentorship relationship.
To approach someone as a potential mentor, be direct but respectful, outlining why you admire their work and how you believe their guidance could help you. If they decline, thank them for their time and consider asking for recommendations on who else could be a good fit for you.
In mentorship, challenges could include mismatched expectations or a lack of commitment from either party. To avoid these pitfalls, establish clear objectives, communication channels, and check-in points from the outset to ensure you are on the same page.
Takeaways on Mentorship
If you feel called to find a mentor, best of luck! You got this 💪
Just remember these tips:
- Find potential mentor candidates through networking events or social media. Identify a few of your top picks.
- Build rapport before popping the question. Please set up a call, get to know them, and ask for their advice.
- Think about how you can benefit them. On these calls, try to be helpful to them and consider ways that you could also support them.
- Show that you’ll take their advice. If they give you advice, implement it and let them know how it went.
- Ask directly but thoughtfully. When you feel ready, ask someone if they’d like to enter a mentorship relationship with you. Make sure to clarify what that means to both of you.
I hope you find your ideal mentor and pursue success.
And if you’d like ten other effective approaches to find success, you might enjoy this article.
Article sources
- https://www.vistage.com/research-center/personal-development/leadership-mentoring/
- https://www.mentorcliq.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/MQ_REPORT___2022_Mentoring_Impact.pdf
- https://www.cnbc.com/2019/07/16/nine-in-10-workers-who-have-a-mentor-say-they-are-happy-in-their-jobs.html
How to Deal with Difficult People at Work
Do you have a difficult boss? Colleague? Client? Learn how to transform your difficult relationship.
I’ll show you my science-based approach to building a strong, productive relationship with even the most difficult people.