15 Pro Debate Tips to Use With Friends or at Work

Do you find yourself in debates at work or with friends and wish you felt more skilled?

Look no further! In this article, we’ll give you all the tips you need to excel at every debate or intellectual argument you have, both at work and in your personal life.

What is Debate?

Debate is a structured and formal discussion where participants argue opposing viewpoints on a specific topic. The goal is to persuade the audience or judges of the validity of your position while effectively challenging the opposing argument. 

Even if most of us don’t get into formal debate competitions often (or ever), most of us encounter disagreements and intellectual conversations that require debate skills.

Whether with friends or at work, upgrading your ability to persuade and argue can do you wonders.

Why Is it Helpful to Have Debate Skills?

Working on your debate skills inherently means you will:

• enhance your critical thinking
• improve your public speaking abilities
• upgrade your persuasiveness

These are excellent skills to help with professional negotiations, defending your case in an academic classroom, and even resolving workplace disputes. 

Now, let’s dive into some tactics that you can use the next time you’re in a debate.

12 Debate Tactics to Use At Work and In Your Life

Steelman in preparation

“Strawmanning” is a no-no in the philosophy/debate community and is considered a logical fallacy. Strawmanning is when you don’t argue your opponent’s point but instead argue and refute a weaker version of their point.

Instead of strawmanning, it’s considered good form to “steelman” your opponent. Rationalist blog LessWrong defines “steelmanning” as “the act of taking a view, or opinion, or argument and constructing the strongest possible version of it.”

While you don’t necessarily have to steelman your opponent during the debate, it’s a great idea to do so while preparing!

In other words—sit down and brainstorm all of the most compelling viewpoints that oppose your own. This will help you fortify your own stance. 

Action Step: Before the debate, spend time reading articles and listening to podcasts that endorse the opinion opposite to yours. Then, do your best to outline what the best opposing arguments are. Then, write out why your stance makes more sense.

Reflect on their argument to them.

Have you ever seen people argue where they seem to be in a heated debate, disagreeing with each other angrily, but it doesn’t seem like they are actually hearing each other whatsoever or even talking about the same thing?

When you’re engaging in your debate, do your best to thoroughly listen and understand what the other person is trying to say. 

This can even be helpful if your debate opponent is obnoxious because it will keep the attention on the debate points and not on insults or emotions.

If they feel heard, it will make the discussion run more smoothly on an emotional level. But it will also ensure that you are countering their actual argument and not something you misheard.

Several years ago, two intellectual titans, Sam Harris and Jordan Peterson, famously engaged in a handful of debates. These are both fairly polarizing thinkers, so even if you don’t like their viewpoints, you might still appreciate how the discussion opened.

Peterson started the debate by saying, “One of the things that Carl Rogers said… was that a good way to have a discussion with someone is to tell them what you think they think until they think that what you said reflects what they said… It’s tough. So I’m going to try to do that.”

[Timestamp: 6:52-7:16]

Action Step: When you are debating with your friend or colleague, make sure you fully understand their argument. Any time they make a point, ensure you hear it by saying, “I want to summarize what you said to make sure I got it.” 

Reflect until you hear them say, “That’s right;” these are the magic words that create a sense of agreement, negotiation expert Chris Voss points out.

Start with your good intentions.

If the other person feels like they’re fighting against you, they will dig their heels in and won’t want to concede anything. 

But if they trust you’re not trying to make them look bad or attack them, it will make the conversation go much more smoothly, and it can help them be open to your perspective.

One way to do this is to be vocal about the places where you do agree with the other person. You might not agree with the entirety of their point, but you might both have the same goals, or you might agree with parts of their argument.

Action Step: When debating, look for the places where you do agree and state them.

For example, “It seems like your goal in wanting to change this policy is to make it easier on our employees. I definitely agree with your goal there and want the same thing.”

Use intentional breathing to keep your cool

Maintaining a calm and collected demeanor under fire showcases your control and maturity and keeps the focus on your argument, not your reaction.

Plus, if you lose your cool and act out of aggression, things will go sideways. Your argument will come out sloppy, and you just won’t come off well.

A calm approach helps de-escalate tension, keeps you thinking clearly, and makes you look more credible.

One way to avoid this disaster and find calm is through the breath! It’s well-studied^{1https://www.cell.com/cell-reports-medicine/fulltext/S2666-3791(22)00474-8?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS2666379122004748%3Fshowall%3Dtrue} that deep breathing helps calm the body and reduce stress.

Action Step: Any time you notice yourself starting to get tense or frustrated, intentionally slow down your breathing.

Here are a few breathing practices to cool yourself before your debate if you have time.

Disagree with questions

Let’s take a page out of Socrates’ book for this one.  

In Plato’s books, he wrote about how Socrates would walk around Greece, find people, and ask them a bunch of questions. Through his questions, these people would reveal their ignorance and the flaws in their thinking. 

Essentially, Socrates dominated every debate he entered by asking questions! Hence, the term “the Socratic method^{2https://www.law.uchicago.edu/socratic-method}” was coined.

Try this out for yourself. Instead of immediately launching a rebuttal at your opponent, try asking a bunch of questions. See if you can really understand their thinking and underlying beliefs.

If you ask enough questions, you will likely find a crack in their thinking.

And when the time comes to disagree, you could even do so with a question, which will make the other person feel like the revelation is their idea and not you “beating” them.

Here’s a fictional example:

• Taylor: “Implementing this new software will increase our efficiency significantly. It’s crucial for staying competitive.”
• Morgan: “Have we considered how this change might affect our current workflows and employee productivity in the short term?”
• Taylor: “The short-term disruption is a small price to pay for long-term gains.”
• Morgan: “Is there evidence to suggest that the long-term gains will outweigh the initial challenges and potential productivity loss?”
• Taylor: “Well, there are case studies, but we haven’t looked into them deeply for our specific context.”
• Morgan: “Could understanding our context better help us make a more informed decision about whether this software is the right fit for us?”
• Taylor: “You have a point. We might need to do a bit more research to ensure it’s the best move for our team.”

Action Step: When you are about to disagree with the other person, either ask questions to explore their position more deeply or frame your disagreement as a question.

Use stories to evoke emotion.

Aristotle^{3https://stlcc.edu/student-support/academic-success-and-tutoring/writing-center/writing-resources/pathos-logos-and-ethos.aspx} had the idea that you can persuade others with three styles: 

• Logos. Making logical arguments.
• Ethos: Appealing to your credibility.
• Pathos: Appealing to feelings.

When most people debate, they assume they just need to make the most logical point, and everyone will agree with them. But people don’t work like that!

Our emotions impact how we see things, and then our minds justify those feelings. Psychologist Jonathan Haidt has run many experiments to support this point. 

In one compelling^{4https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2562923/} experiment, he has participants write out their moral stances on different issues. When participants do this activity in a room spritzed with “fart spray,” their experience of disgust has them unconsciously state more morally harsh judgments!

You don’t need to use fart spray, but you can stoke emotions in other ways. If you can evoke sadness, passion, or inspiration at the right moment, then they may be more inclined to agree with you.

The best way to evoke emotions is by using the power of storytelling.

Action Step: When making your case, be sure to tell at least one story.

If a full story feels like too much, even consider painting a scenario by:

• Describing the sensational experience
• Using visual analogies
• Being detailed

For example, if you’re debating with a friend about AI, and you are taking the side that AI will be good for humanity, consider saying something like:

“Imagine a self-driving car. Think about how tired you can be at the end of a day. And imagine it’s cold to the bone outside and raining. And all you want to do is travel across town to see your partner. Think of how easy and relieving it’d be to just sit in the car and let it take you there. You could just let out a huge sigh.”

Here are some great tips on how to tell a story.

Respond to their body language.

Observing and responding to your opponent’s body language allows you to gauge their emotional state and confidence level and to react accordingly.

If you say something that they indicate they don’t like, you can back up and restate it. If they seem disempowered, you can offer empathy and help them see your perspective.

Action Step: During your following conversation or debate, consciously note the body language of the other person. Here are two cues to look out for:

• If they touch their neck, it might mean they feel insecure. Maybe this is a time to offer them active listening.
• If they push away from the table, they might feel defensive, and this could warrant slowing down and re-explaining your last point.

If you want to know more about what body language to look out for, here’s a great resource. 

Signal confidence with your body language.

Using your body language to project confidence can influence how your arguments are received. Assertive, open, and composed body language can make you appear more convincing, credible, and in control.

Confident body language also impacts how you feel about yourself and can boost your self-assurance. 

Action Step: Practice standing tall with your shoulders back and your head held high. Try the internal mantra “open and expand.” It can also help to give intense eye contact.

Here’s a great article that will give you more ideas on body language.

And if you tend to get nervous when debating or speaking in front of others, you might enjoy this training on how to improve your public speaking skills.

Concede strategically

Conceding smaller points can give you credibility and shift focus to your stronger arguments.

Concessions show that you’re objective and honest, qualities that can make your audience more receptive to your main arguments.

Don’t get nitpicky over parts of the debate that don’t matter. 

Action Step: If your opponent makes points that don’t affect the larger topic of the debate, be willing to concede them!

For example, if you’re in a debate with someone at work over whether the company should fund a recreational group outing or not, and you find yourself battling over the number of vans that the trip would require, take a pause and say, “Actually, you’re probably right. Let’s just say the trip will require five vans that we can rent for $100 each.”

Be willing to be wrong!

The purpose of a debate shouldn’t be winning; it should be finding more truth or the best course of action!

Embracing the possibility that you might be incorrect isn’t a sign of weakness; instead, it’s a testament to your commitment to truth and intellectual integrity. Being open to being wrong encourages a more exploratory and less combative atmosphere in debates.

If you approach debates as a collaborative learning opportunity rather than a battleground, you’ll likely explore ideas more deeply and find the best solution. 

Next time you enter a debate, remind yourself of the ultimate goal: not to win but to find the best solution or understand the truth more fully. 

Action Step: The next time you find yourself in a debate, see if you can reframe it as a collaborative conversation to find the best/truest option. 

Get the research advantage.

The better you understand your topic, the more confidently you can navigate the debate. If you have numbers, research, case studies, and even quotes that you can reference, you will have a huge advantage.

Having research on your side will increase your confidence, allow you to counter misleading facts, and steer the debate toward your data points.

Action Step: If you know the topic you’ll be discussing, spend 30 minutes looking for research and numbers related to the topic ahead of time

Learn from your experience.

Every debate is an opportunity for growth. Reflecting on your experiences helps you understand what you did well and where you could improve.

Reflecting on each debate after the fact will help you become more adaptable and better prepared for future discussions. Plus, it encourages a growth mindset, where you’re always evolving and refining your approach.

Action Step: After each debate or significant conversation, take some time to reflect. Write down:

• What went well
• What didn’t go well
• What you learned from the experience. 

If you want to go the extra mile, you could even ask for feedback from the person you were speaking with.  

Takeaways on How to Debate

Best of luck improving your debate skills. Just remember these tips:

• Get the research advantage by finding statistics ahead of time
• Steelman in preparation, where you prepare against the strongest version of the opposing viewpoint
• Reflect back on your opponent’s argument to ensure you understand their point fully
• Show your good intentions by highlighting areas of agreement 
• Use intentional breathing to keep your cool because you won’t win anything by blowing up
• Disagree with questions. EmulateSocrates by asking probing questions to help uncover flaws 
• Use stories to evoke emotion to make your argument more relatable and compelling
• Read their nonverbal gestures and respond accordingly
• Signal confidence with your body language by standing tall with your shoulders back
• Concede strategically in smaller loop points to lend you credibility and focus the debate on your stronger arguments
• Be willing to be wrong and focus on finding the truth or the best solution
• Learn from your experience by reflecting on what went well and what you could improve.  

And if you are not finding yourself in debates but more arguments and conflicts, then you might appreciate this article.