Do you know if someone likes you? Do you have someone in your life who potentially is giving you signals that they want go from friend to romantic partner?

If so, keep that person in mind as we go through each of the 5 cues of attraction.

Cue #1 Mirroring

Mirroring is when someone subtly is copying/mimicking your speech or speech patterns and nonverbal behavior. This is a way to test the waters regarding someone’s level of interest. Here are some verbal and nonverbal cues to determine if the other person is mirroring you:

  • Does this person face you with their entire body? When someone’s top, torso and toes are angled toward you, this is known as fronting.
  • Do they mimic your standing or seated posture?
  • Do they copy your vocal volume and cadence?
  • Do they use the same words or language as you?

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Cue #2 Understanding Space

When you are in the same environment as others, the space between you and them can tell you a lot about the relationship. The fancy word for space is called proxemics. Here are some ways you can gauge another person’s level of interest:

  • Does this person get really intimate with you by entering your intimate space zone? The intimate zone is 0-18 inches from your face.
  • Leaning: Does this person lean in toward you or do they move away? Leaning is a nonverbal cue of partnership, agreeableness and camaraderie.
  • Touch: Does this person find subtle ways to touch your arm or hand? We use touch to signal connection.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Cue #3 Asking Questions

This is a really big one. It is so easy to get lost in our own world that we forget to ask questions. When you are with this person, do they:

  • Ask you deep questions and truly want to understand you, or do they just graze the surface with boring social scripts?

Studies have found that being vulnerable with intimate details can bring people closer together. Check out our list of 36 questions to ask your partner and 13 great first date questions.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Cue #4 Eye Contact

Eye gazing and eye contact is like a superpower when you understand the meaning behind it. When you are with this person, do they:

  • Drop their eye gaze by making a pattern from your eyes to your chest? This is known as intimate gazing.
  • Does this person make eye contact with you for a longer time than with the average person?

If this person is making deep (intimate or extended) eye contact with you, you know you have the green light. They like you. Direct eye contact triggers a little hormone called oxytocin that helps us to feel connected and bonded to another person.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Cue #5 Emotional Attentiveness

People who are emotionally attentive to their surroundings have a high level of empathy. When you are with this person, do they do any or all of the following:

  • Offer you their coat when it is cold outside?
  • Are they attuned to your primary or secondary Love Languages?
  • Is this person fully engaged in conversation with you, or are they constantly distracted by their phone?
  • Do they ask deep questions and use responsive listening techniques?

As you were reading through these cues, did the person you have in mind match all four? If the answer is a definitive yes, you can take the next step of displaying a mutual sense of attraction and begin the process of getting to know them and experiencing them on a deeper level.

About Vanessa Van Edwards

Vanessa Van Edwards is a national best selling author & founder at Science of People. Her groundbreaking book, Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People has been translated into more than 16 languages. As a recovering awkward person, Vanessa helps millions find their inner charisma. She regularly leads innovative corporate workshops and helps thousands of individual professionals in her online program People School. Vanessa works with entrepreneurs, growing businesses, and trillion dollar companies; and has been featured on CNN, BBC, CBS, Fast Company, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine, USA Today, the Today Show and many more.

2 replies on “How to Tell If Someone Likes You: 5 Cues You Need to Know”

  1. Sam

    So this just relates to whether one likes you romantically.

    I thought before reading whether it refers to general like as far as being liked by your boss, coworker, underling, client , family member or acquaintance.

    Always crucial to know whether you are truly liked as a person or have a neutral feeling by rather than disliked or hated for no reason and bad karma to one who dislikes or hates for no reason.

  2. Chris.W

    I did have some hints at someone who has taken a liking to me. In college, she always says hi to me more often than my roommates and their friends. Not only that but she often asks weird questions that hint that she ran out of ideas but always has the urge to talk to me. It’s kinda nice.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Read More in Body Language Dating