Dr. Gary Chapman coined the term “love languages” to explain how we express and receive love. But the love languages aren’t just for romance! You can use the love languages to appreciate people in business, to support friends, and to show a partner you care. Take the Love Language quiz now to see which of the five love languages is yours!

Which one of these speaks to the way you feel cared for, or like to show you appreciate someone:

Quality Time

Quality time is about spending time together enjoying each other’s company.

People who need quality time crave alone time with their loved one, and want to catch up with them by having time alone where they can talk and bond.

You need alone time if you find yourself constantly desiring to be with someone, not just hearing from them or writing to them. You do not feel satisfied or happy unless you can be with the person or the people you love.

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Physical Touch

Physical touch is showing love through hugging, cuddling, being intimate, or simply putting a caring hand on someone’s shoulder.

People who need physical touch want you to hug them, they want cuddle time, and always show “PDA” or public displays of affection to feel that you love them, and to demonstrate their love for those they care about.

You need physical touch if you feel lonely and lost when you have not been physically near a loved one. You constantly crave to be close to those you care about, and you demonstrate your love for them with hugs, massages, and even sitting close to each other.

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Gifts

The love language of gifts does not require large or extravagantly expensive gifts. It can be notes, CDs, flowers, or leaving a pastry. These small gifts are tokens of love to the giver or receiver.

People who need gifts feel validated when you spend money and/or time picking something out for them. Often, the saying it’s the thought that counts really applies here.

You need gifts if you think or wait anxiously for holidays or birthdays to see what your loved ones might get you.

Gifts are usually a big test in relationships for people who speak the love language of gifts.

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Acts of Service

Acts of service are acts of love when someone performs an action for the other.  This can be cleaning, cooking, driving, or even doing an errand. By doing that act of service, the other person feels love or shows love.

People who need acts of service sometimes will ask their loved ones for favors or errands, not because it is easier, but rather because they need the affirmation of the other person’s love.

You need acts of service if you feel unwanted or unimportant, if someone does not follow through on a promise, or if someone doesn’t do something you asked.

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Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation are verbal clues for others to express how much they love and care about someone.  Words of affirmation also can be compliments and reassurances that confirm inner love in an outer way.

People who need words of affirmation need to hear from the people they love frequently, and, to feel loved, they need to hear out loud what the other person is thinking.

You need words of affirmation if you find yourself constantly needing to hear from your loved one to get reassurance from them.  People who want words of affirmation might also fish for compliments because this is the way they feel most loved.

Typically, people have one main love language and one secondary one. It is important to know these so you can ask for what you need, and so you can show your partners, friends, and colleagues appreciation in the way they like to receive it.

About Vanessa Van Edwards

Vanessa Van Edwards is a national best selling author & founder at Science of People. Her groundbreaking book, Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People has been translated into more than 16 languages. As a recovering awkward person, Vanessa helps millions find their inner charisma. She regularly leads innovative corporate workshops and helps thousands of individual professionals in her online program People School. Vanessa works with entrepreneurs, growing businesses, and trillion dollar companies; and has been featured on CNN, BBC, CBS, Fast Company, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine, USA Today, the Today Show and many more.

48 replies on “Take The Love Language Quiz and Find Your Love Language”

  1. Josh

    So my wife & i where have strong disagree (argument)

    One of Her love languages is gifts
    that’s mine is not one of mind. she saying when she get me gifts i supposed to like them. It not one of my love language.

    I said that not how it works.
    she gets frustrated when I don’t make a big deal or like when she gives me. she said I’m supposed to change & like/enjoy, She get frustrated when i don’t. I m wrong about this ?

    1. CJ

      Because you two are different people, it’s okay to have different love languages. However, loving someone sometimes requires you tailor yourself to their needs.

      Think about stepping into her shoes. If your love language was reviving gifts, wouldn’t you like your significant other to bring you little things on occasion? The truth is, it’s not about the size of the gift. it’s about the thought behind the gift you are giving. So try buying her flowers today at the supermarket, or giving her a card that reminds her you love her! I promise doing things like this consistently will help improve your relationship.

      1. Mark

        “However, loving someone sometimes requires you tailor yourself to their needs.”

        I’m sorry but loving someone *always* requires you to tailor yourself to another person’s needs. Love is not an emotion. Being “in love” is not loving someone. True love is a selfless principle, a rule of conduct, an act of will, a decision to put another person’s needs above your own, regardless of how you may feel towards them.

        Before we go to extremes, it doesn’t mean you have to neglect your wellbeing and become a doormat. It simply means love is other-centered rather than self-centered. So many enter a relationship with the focus of what they can get from it rather than what they can give to it — which is why they fail.

        This is the primary God-given goal of relationships. It’s to pull us out of our self-focus and increase our capacity to love — and in so doing, find the real depth and joy in our relationships.

    2. F Lee

      I believe that you are not wrong. Ultimately, if a person loves you, they will come out their comfort zone and speak your language. If I spoke German and my love spoke Russian, I would not get frustrated because he/she doesn’t understand me. I would begin to examine my love and see if on the inside of me, am I willing to learn to communicate. I would get a mediator. This mediator, or counselor would have the skill to join us together, or put us on the same page. WHY? Because it takes someone who is trained to cut to the heart of the matter without killing the person who is being cut, and to reveal what the real problem is so that me and my spouse can make better decisions on “How to Love” each other.

    3. M

      I believe what is happening here is that your wife has a love language preference for gifts but also a preference to show her love with gifts! People have a love language they prefer for themselves and a love language they prefer when loving others. Have you mentioned to your wife what your love language is? Perhaps you can continue giving her gifts and she can work on the love language that fills you up.

    4. Sarah

      Hi. I don’t think you’re wrong at all. I would ask myself, are these gifts for me or are they supposed to get me to react in a way that is really more to please her instead of me. The gift is for you from her not for her. And when you give her a gift or she gives you a gift it’s hard to enjoy if there’s pressure on you if you can’t be you and have to be thinking of her expectations of how you’re supposed to react.

  2. Kensi Science of People

    Thanks for your feedback, Treena. The quiz has been updated, so feel free to check it out again. Thanks! -Kensi | Science of People Team

  3. Kensi Science of People

    Thanks for your feedback, Annette! The quiz has been updated, so feel free to check it out again 🙂 Thanks! -Kensi | Science of People Team

  4. Kensi Science of People

    Hi Pamela! Are you using any ad blocker by chance? Or anything that would prevent javascript from running? That is how your score is calculated and displayed on the page. -Kensi | Science of People Team

  5. Corey

    This quiz is difficult, but meaningful. I have to really think about which answer I would prefer, but honestly, sometimes there are two answers that I would prefer equally, and neither this quiz nor Gary Chapman’s quiz allows for that. I still agree that Quality Time is my primary love language, but I sometimes whether the others scores I receive on the different quizzes are 100% right.

  6. Kensi Science of People

    Hi Elisa! Are you using any ad blocker by chance? Or anything that would prevent javascript from running? That is how your score is calculated and displayed on the page. -Kensi | Science of People Team

      1. Kensi Science of People

        Hi Nikeya! After you submit your answers, wait a few seconds and then the screen will automatically scroll down on the page to your result/love language. If it doesn’t, then check your ad blocker or anything that would prevent javascript from running because that is how your score is calculated and displayed on the page. Thanks! -Kensi | Science of People Team

  7. Kensi Science of People

    Hi Miriam! Are you using any ad blocker by chance? Or anything that would prevent javascript from running? That is how your score is calculated and displayed on the page. -Kensi | Science of People Team

    1. Jill

      I did this quiz but I’m just as confused as before. I’ve come to the conclusion that on some days it’s one thing and on other days it’s something else. So my love language is all of them or none of them. Not one stands out for me or my husband. Some people like things to be categorized like this, others do not. We fall into the latter group.

  8. Kensi Science of People

    Hi Daniela! Are you using any ad blocker by chance? Or anything that would prevent javascript from running? That is how your score is calculated and displayed on the page. -Kensi | Science of People Team

  9. Kensi Science of People

    Hi Ta’Shya! Are you using any ad blocker by chance? Or anything that would prevent javascript from running? That is how your score is calculated and displayed on the page. -Kensi | Science of People Team

  10. Kensi Science of People

    Hi Monique! Are you using any ad blocker by chance? Or anything that would prevent javascript from running? That is how your score is calculated and displayed on the page.

  11. Kensi Science of People

    Hmm, are you using any ad blocker by chance? Or anything that would prevent javascript from running? That is how your score is calculated and displayed on the page.

  12. Kensi Science of People

    Hi Neethi! After you submit, try waiting a few extra seconds and your screen should automatically scroll down on the page to the language you resulted with. It won’t direct you to a new page if that’s what you’re looking for. I hope that helps! Let me know if it still isn’t working for you, and thanks for asking! -Kensi | Science of People Team

  13. Linda Castro

    On the mark!
    Now, I will share with hubby and have him take the quiz. We will better understand each other’s love language ❤️ even after twenty years of marriage!
    This is wonderful.

  14. Alanna

    I agree with the results of the quiz 50% the first was right acts of service but the second said words of affirmation and I think mine second language of love is quality time.

    1. Brandy

      Do you mean you took the test twice or you received 2 love languages, the first being acts of service second words of affirmation? I’m asking because I only one and I know everyone is supposed to have two.

      Thanks in advance

  15. Sandra

    A question was thrown to me by a friend about this love language which he asked me to make a research n am so amazed n really love what i got here, at least i got to know my love language n love it, i also answered the quiz n am so impressed.

  16. Sandy

    I took the test and found the questions interesting. My son asked me if I knew my Love Language and I said I would do some research. He and his future wife had the course given to them before they married.

    What is my Love Language?

  17. Liam Hayes

    Quiet interesting. I’m very surprised by the receiving gifts category. It’s interesting that some people would like to receive gifts more than spending quality time with that person.

    1. Brandy

      If you read what receiving gifts means to someone, you’ll understand it has nothing to do with the PRICE of the gift OR the gift itself. It has everything to do with the THOUGHT behind the gift. It reveals the person is thinking of you and pays attention to your wants and desires. Be it small, big, tiny, huge handmade, etc…. just because (seeing that item made them think about you) and no other reason.

      BTW, mine is quality time. There are usually two love languages one possesses. Of course the first being the higher scored however it doesn’t dismiss the other. Just because one person expresses their love one way doesn’t mean they are any lesser than another for how they express their love. It’s informative and beneficial. What works for one doesn’t work for another. The goal is to find what works best for you and your partner in hopes of understanding how they show their love for you and the important people in their life.

  18. Bella Perennis

    It’s good to know your and other peoples body language. People sometimes think I’m weird for inviting them for one on one time, but when I tell them that it’s because this is when I feel most connected they can understand. So knowing the concepts of love languages can not only make it easier to give other people what they need but to communicate and ask for what you need.

  19. Abby

    Thanks Vanessa for very valuable lessons. Somehow if we can just apply all of these points in our interpersonal relations, it will certainly enhance those relationships. We all need some of that at different times in our lives.

    1. Danielle McRae

      So very true, Abby. Simply being aware that we all have specific needs is the first step to connection success.

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  20. Robby Smith

    I highly recommend everybody to read Gary Chapman’s “5 Love Languages” book, whether you are married or single, anyone can learn how to identify & best express the love language of their friends, co-workers, dating partner or spouse. My primary language is Words of Affirmation, and secondary is Quality Time 🙂

  21. Kate

    I love this one. I’m going to share it with my family and see what they respond to the most. I can’t wait to apply this frequency towards my work and social relationships too. Thanks Vanessa!

    1. Danielle McRae

      Thank you for reading, Kate! What love language do you identify most with?

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  22. Fel

    So useful! And it’s always interesting how couples manage this, especially if their languages are different. I know I’ll get fed up about something, and then realize that’s just the man’s way of receiving love. Great video

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