II talk a lot on this website about all the things you should do to be more memorable, charismatic and influential.
I write about starting, learning and beginning new habits and behaviors. Some of my favorites:
But in this post, I want to write about what we all need to STOP doing to be better with people; the bad habits, behaviors and actions we need to curtail if we want to build connection.
I have been 100% guilty of a TON of items on this list at some point. In fact, a lot of these bad habits come from my own “Behavior File.”
I’m a science geek with high neuroticism and love keeping logs, lists and directories of any kind. My Behavior File is a list of behaviors I have tried, attempted, adopted and failed at so I can learn from my previous mistakes. Now, hopefully, you can learn from them too!
Why Do We Form Bad Habits?
But before we dive into our extensive list of bad habits, let’s take a moment to understand why we develop them in the first place:
- Stress and Emotional Coping: When we’re stressed, anxious, or emotional, we often turn to comfortable but potentially harmful behaviors as coping mechanisms1 https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5642021/ .
- Dopamine-Driven Rewards: Our brains are wired to seek immediate rewards, even when they might have negative long-term consequences. Studies2 https://www.jneurosci.org/content/27/31/8181 indicate that bad habits often trigger the release of dopamine, making them particularly hard to break.
- Environmental Triggers: Our surroundings3 https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-97529-0_12 , including people, places, and situations, can unconsciously prompt us to engage in bad habits.
Let’s explore the most common bad habits across different areas of life, with detailed insights into some of the most subtle yet impactful behaviors.
The Ultimate List of Bad Habits
Relationship Bad Habits
- Looking for Validation
You are worthy, awesome, and fantastic—and deep down, you know it. Research4 https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1540-4560.00279 shows that external validation-seeking behavior can reduce self-esteem and increase stress over time. If you don’t feel worthy on the inside, nothing on the outside will truly help.
- Apologizing For Who You Are
Apologies are important. And you should always apologize for what you’ve done, but you should never apologize for who you are.
Don’t apologize for sharing your opinion. Don’t apologize for being authentic. And certainly don’t apologize for being yourself. I used to say, “I’m sorry I love science” before sharing a relevant scientific study. Someone called me on it once by saying something like, “Don’t apologize for loving science, own it!” She was right. Now it’s your turn.
- One-Upping
That’s a funny story, but here’s a funnier one! That’s a great idea, but here’s a better one. You’re smart, I’m smarter! One-upping is when you take someone’s idea and tell them how you did it better, smarter or longer than them.
Nothing takes the wind out of someone’s sails faster than a one-upper. Your one-upped story DOESN’T make you seem more impressive, it only makes you seem like a show-off—I know you don’t mean it that way, but that’s how it comes across… plus, it’s a really bad toxic trait.
- Exaggerating
I almost called this one, “Stop Lying,” but I think that exaggeration is a more accurate behavior for most people. Harmless exaggerating for the sake of a good story isn’t what I am talking about here. I’m talking about stirring up gossip, worrying people or creating drama.
One day my husband told me that I exaggerate too much. This happened right after I told him that, “The lack of organic produce in our local supermarket is killing me.” He was like, “Really? Is it killing you? Should I call an ambulance?” Point taken. Here’s my credo: Speak accurately, lie less, stop gossiping.
- Pre-Qualifying
“I know this might not be important, but…” “I’m not sure if this is right, but…” How many times have you been in a meeting or a classroom and someone raises their hand to answer but spends the first 10 seconds pre-qualifying their answer? This happens when we are nervous that whatever we are going to say isn’t going to be good enough.
Not only does this diminish your idea (see #2 Apologizing), but it also cues others not to listen to your valuable opinion! This is bold, but here is the rule I have for myself that I hope you will consider implementing:
If you have to say a pre-qualifier, don’t say anything at all. If you are so nervous that you can’t own your answer then maybe it isn’t ready to be shared!
- One-Downing
If you think that’s bad, wait until you hear what happened to me!
Have you ever shared some bad news or difficulty with someone and then they pounce with their own “even worse” story? One-downing is the flip side to one-upping and it SUCKS! If someone had a hard day, let them have their hard day and show them empathy.
Special Note: Sometimes people think that by sharing their hardships they make the person feel like they are not alone. This is true to a certain extent, but there is a difference between commiserating and one-downing. You can tell someone you know how they feel, but don’t tell them that your feelings are more/worse/more notable.
- Pretending
Ask yourself if you ever pretend to be something you’re not. Is it around certain people? What places trigger you to feel less than? Figure out why you don’t feel that you are enough. Get rid of the triggers. Stop going to the places that make you feel like you have to pretend. Decide to own who you are.
When you show up owning who you are, people respect you and your authenticity shines through. When you pretend to be something you’re not, you miss out on the opportunity to genuinely connect with another person.
Did you know that our tendency to form certain bad habits can be influenced by our personalities? To find out what your personality might predispose you towards, check out our guide:
Work With Other People?

Get our handy cheat sheet with tips to work effectively with each of the five distinct personality types.
- Emotional Stonewalling
We’ve all done it—someone tries to have a serious conversation and we shut down, check our phone, or give the silent treatment.
Stonewalling is when you build an emotional wall between yourself and others, refusing to engage in meaningful communication. I used to think this was a way to avoid conflict, but all it does is create more distance.
Your feelings are valid, but shutting down hurts both you and the other person. If you need time to process, it’s okay to say, “I need a moment to gather my thoughts,” rather than putting up that wall. Take a break, but commit to coming back to the conversation when you’re ready.
- Criticism Patterns
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “They always…” or “They never…”?
These absolute statements are signs of a criticism pattern. Instead of addressing specific behaviors, we fall into the trap of making sweeping judgments about someone’s character. This is actually a well-documented psychological phenomenon called the fundamental attribution error5 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0065260108603573?via%3Dihub —where we tend to attribute others’ actions to their personality rather than their circumstances.
I noticed I was doing this with my sister—every minor oversight became evidence that she “never thinks about anyone else.”
The truth is, patterns of criticism damage relationships far more than the actual issues we’re criticizing. Instead of “You never listen”, try replacing it with “I felt unheard when…” It’s harder, but it’s worth it.
- Conflict Avoidance
“Everything’s fine!” we say, while silently seething about something that’s bothering us.
Conflict avoidance feels safer in the moment, but it’s like putting a Band-Aid on a broken arm—the real issue keeps festering underneath. I used to pride myself on being “easy-going” until I realized I was just avoiding necessary conversations.
Healthy relationships require healthy conflict. When we avoid addressing issues, we deny ourselves and others the opportunity for growth and understanding. Start small—bring up minor concerns before they become major issues. Remember that addressing conflict respectfully is an act of care for the relationship.
Additional relationship bad habits
- Mind reading
- Score keeping
- Physical withdrawal
- Poor listening skills
- Emotional unavailability
- Jealousy and possessiveness
- Violating others’ boundaries
- Relationship codependency
- Emotional dumping
- Trust issues
- Manipulation tactics
- Attention seeking
- Guilt tripping
- Passive aggressive communication
- Avoiding intimacy
- Controlling behavior
- Excessive expectations
- Playing victim
- Emotional blackmail
- Digital distraction during interactions
- Comparison to other relationships
- Social media oversharing
- Poor time investment
- Lack of empathy
- Love bombing
- Hot and cold behavior
- Enabling behaviors
- Passive communication
Health and Wellness Bad Habits
- Poor Sleep Hygiene
You’re lying in bed right now reading this on your phone, aren’t you?
Research6 https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jbio.201900102 shows that blue light exposure before bed wreaks havoc on our natural sleep cycles. Yet here we are, promising ourselves “just 5 more minutes” until midnight becomes 2 AM.
The next morning we drag ourselves through meetings like zombies, wondering why three cups of coffee barely touch the fog. Your 3 AM self is sabotaging your 9 AM self—and that cycle won’t break until you make peace with putting the screen down.
For some tips on how to improve your sleep, take a look at our article: 25 Best Ways to Get Better Sleep (Naturally!).
- Skipping Breakfast
The great morning lie: “I’ll grab something later.” By the time that hunger hits, you’re deep in meetings or rushing deadlines, reaching for whatever’s quickest rather than what your body needs.
According to research7 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1871403X19305472?via%3Dihub , breakfast skippers tend to make less nutritious food choices throughout the entire day that put them at risk for becoming overweight or obese. That 3PM vending machine run? It’s your body playing catch-up from running on empty all morning.
Your decisions deserve better fuel than just caffeine and good intentions!
- Stress Eating
Heading straight to the pantry when I’m feeling down or stressed is something I’ve done more times than I’d like to admit. Sometimes, I’m not even aware of it in the moment!
When stress levels rise, our bodies naturally crave high-fat, high-sugar foods (science8 https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1038/oby.2008.221 shows it’s actually a hormonal response to feeling overwhelmed). The immediate relief feels real because it is: these foods temporarily boost our mood-regulating brain chemicals.
But using food as an emotional coping mechanism creates a cycle that’s hard to break. Obviously, never eating when stressed is unrealistic (especially when you might actually be hungry at the same time), but try to notice the pattern. The awareness itself is the first step to building a healthier relationship with both food and stress.
- Excess Caffeine Consumption
Caffeine is the most widely used psychoactive substance on the planet, and for good reason—it works.
Until it doesn’t.
What starts as a morning pick-me-up can spiral into a cycle of dependency, with each cup solving and creating problems simultaneously. Research shows excessive caffeine not only disrupts our sleep architecture but amps up our anxiety levels too. So we sleep worse, feel more stressed, and reach for even more coffee the next day.
I’m not saying coffee is bad, period (in fact, a lot of studies9 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28675917/ point toward its health benefits!). Just like anything, the key is moderation.
- Poor Posture
If you work at a desk, chances are you spend a lot of time hunched over with rounded shoulders and a tilted neck. Unfortunately, our bodies tend to mold themselves to how we spend most of our hours.
Studies show that this chronic poor posture affects everything from our mood10 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005791616301719?via%3Dihub to our breathing capacity11 https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09593980307958 . So, in addition to looking like we’re trying to cosplay the Hunchback of Notre Dame, our internal organs, blood flow, and even stress levels all take a hit.
Thankfully, in most cases, fixing posture isn’t too hard. Check out our guide on it here: How to Fix Your Posture (in Just 5 Minutes or Less!).
- Chronic Dehydration
Fun fact: the average human is made up of 60% water. When you skimp on hydration, you’re affecting the majority of your body’s operating system!
Research12 https://journals.lww.com/acsm-msse/fulltext/2018/11000/dehydration_impairs_cognitive_performance__a.21.aspx shows even slight dehydration can significantly impact your cognitive performance, energy, and mood.
Here’s another (not-so) fun fact: large amounts of caffeine can actually dehydrate you, which means that that extra coffee could ironically lower your energy levels.
So, the next time you’re feeling a bit groggy, make sure to check whether your hydration levels are up to par before reaching for another cup o’ joe. The U.S. National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine recommends13 https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/water/art-20044256#:~:text=About%2015.5%20cups%20(3.7%20liters,fluids%20a%20day%20for%20women 15.5 cups (3.7 liters) a day for men and 11.5 cups (2.7 liters) for women.
- Excessive Screen Time
Screens are a ubiquitous part of modern life—so much so that most of us barely think about how much time we’re spending staring at them.
While most of the science on screen time focuses on its detrimental effects on the developing brains of children, recent studies14 https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10852174/#:~:text=Excessive%20screen%20time%20can%20have,anxiety%2C%20and%20other%20mood%20disorders. have begun examining its negative impact on adults too. Spoilers: they’re just as bad for us as they are for the little ones.
At the physical level, excessive screen time causes eye strain in addition to neck, shoulder and back pain. Mentally, it can increase symptoms of anxiety and depression, as well as impair our ability to develop and maintain social relationships. Oh, and don’t forget the sleep stuff we mentioned earlier: blue light from screens before bed wreaks havoc on our circadian rhythms!
- Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
“Revenge bedtime procrastination” is a fairly recent phenomenon in terms of public awareness, but it’s something that I immediately related to when I first heard about it.
Essentially, this is when we develop a compulsion to stay up late at night (that is, procrastinate our bedtime) because we:
- Want to make up for a lack of free time during the day, and/or
- Feel guilty about not getting enough done during the day
As we’ve already talked about in this section, poor sleep has a host of detrimental effects on our well-being, including poor cognitive functioning and increasing our risk of physical and mental health problems.
To break yourself out of this cycle, try your best to dedicate some “me” time during the day!
- Not Getting Enough Sunlight
Our ancestors spent their days under open skies, and our bodies still run on that ancient programming. Your morning sun exposure sets your body’s internal clock, influencing everything from your sleep cycle to your metabolism.
Unfortunately for those of us who aren’t lucky enough to live in tropical climates, winter months can leave us seriously sun-deprived. Research shows inadequate sunlight exposure affects millions, particularly in northern regions where short, dark days can trigger Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
But here’s the bright side: even on cloudy winter days, a morning walk can give you enough natural light to help regulate your body’s rhythms. Bundle up and get outside within two hours of waking—your brain will thank you for those precious morning rays.
- Over-working
Remember when you told yourself you’d just answer a few quick emails on Sunday? Three hours later, you’re deep in next week’s presentations.
Trust me, I get it. The corporate world is competitive and we all want to do our best to stand out and get ahead.
But overworking can (and usually does) run counter to those goals: research15 https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0301051104001553 shows that chronic overwork can lead to burnout and cause some pretty severe cognitive impairments that reduce your productivity.
Set a hard stop time for your workday—those emails will still be there tomorrow.
Additional health bad habits
- Fad dieting
- Eating too quickly
- Neglecting dental hygiene
- Ignoring minor health issues
- Over-exercising
- Mouth breathing
- Irregular eating schedules
- Poor keyboard wrist position
- Excessive headphone/earbud audio exposure
- Avoiding regular check-ups
- Self-diagnosing health issues
- Excessive alcohol consumption
- Smoking or vaping
- Neglecting stretching
- Excessive junk food consumption
- Irregular meal times
- Excessive salt intake
- Poor vitamin D levels
- Ignoring exercise form
- Over-reliance on supplements
- Not washing hands properly
- Irregular hydration
- Excessive artificial light exposure
- Excessive napping
- Ignoring body signals
- Poor recovery habits
- Inconsistent medication timing
- Not wearing sunscreen
- Skipping warm-ups
- Oversleeping on weekends
Professional Bad Habits
- Constant Email Checking
That little red notification badge has become your taskmaster, hasn’t it? Every ping pulls you away from deep work, scattering your focus like confetti.
Research16 https://www.nature.com/articles/s41597-019-0249-5 confirms what we probably already knew: email interruptions increase stress and lower productivity.
For an in-depth guide on beating email checking compulsion, check out: 7 Tricks to Avoid Information Overload and Manage Emails.
- Multitasking
“Great at multitasking” still shows up on resumes, but our brains beg to differ.
The scientific verdict17 https://www.physicianleaders.org/articles/doi/10.55834/halmj.3391135898 is clear these days: the juggling act of switching between tasks is eating into your productivity.
What feels like efficiency actually drains your mental battery faster than a video call with bad wifi. Pick one task, give it your full attention, and watch how much faster it flows.
- Procrastination
The deadline looms while you’re reorganizing your desk for the third time this week. Or mindlessly scrolling social media.
We’ve all been there—procrastination goes way deeper than poor time management. Studies18 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17201571/ reveal it’s often our brain’s way of avoiding uncomfortable emotions or fear of failure.
The secret? Start so small it seems ridiculous. Even five minutes of focused work can break the spell. For more tips, check out: The Ultimate (Non-Lazy) Guide to Stopping Procrastination
- Meeting Overload
There it is—another meeting that could have been an email… sandwiched between two meetings about planning future meetings.
If you’re feeling a tad exasperated by all of these—let’s face it—unnecessary meetings, rest assured knowing that the sentiment is justified: research19 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1046496411429170 is starting to show that excessive meetings can be an enormous waste of time and money, especially when they’re poorly run.
Block out some “no meeting” zones in your calendar. Your projects need more than the scattered minutes between Zoom calls.
- Poor Meeting Facilitation
That being said, yes, unfortunately, we still need meetings. But if we’re going to spend those precious hours in conference rooms, let’s make them count.
That meeting fatigue we talked about earlier often has less to do with the inherent nature of meetings, and more to do with them being poorly run.
While you might not be able to escape all meetings, you can make the ones you lead different: agenda out beforehand, clear action items, and please—end on time. Your team’s already giving up their focus time, so make it worth their while!
- Poor Boundary Setting
Remember when “working from home” meant actually going home?
Now your laptop follows you to dinner, your phone buzzes with Slack messages at midnight, and somehow Sunday afternoon became “catch-up time.”
Studies20 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1471772720300269?via%3Dihub show this constant connectivity leads straight to burnout. Your most productive tomorrow starts with shutting down properly today.
- Digital Disorganization
Where did you save that important document again? Was it in email, Slack, Drive, or maybe that folder called “New Folder (3)”?
Your future self is begging you to spend five minutes now on a clear file structure. Name things properly. When you download an attachment, spend just 30 seconds or less finding the right place to store it instead of chucking it in your Downloads. Your Thursday morning deadline will arrive whether you can find the file or not.
- Reactive Work Mode
Ever notice how your entire workday gets hijacked by everyone else’s “urgent” requests? Instead of focusing on your key priorities, you’re jumping from email to email, message to message, putting out other people’s fires.
This constant switching between urgent tasks is what I call reactive work mode—and research21 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0749597809000399?via%3Dihub shows it can severely impact your productivity.
Take back your mornings: block the first hour for your most important work before opening those emails and chat messages. Your priorities deserve better than the leftover minutes between other people’s emergencies.
- Perfectionism at Work
That report isn’t quite perfect yet. Just one more edit. Okay, maybe two.
We’ve twisted perfectionism into a humble brag, but studies show it’s actually holding us back, reducing the quality of your work22 https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF01173364 while cranking up stress levels23 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656620300428?via%3Dihub . Sometimes good enough today beats perfect next week. Start practicing the art of “done” rather than endlessly chasing flawless.
- Micromanaging
Your team member is halfway through a task when you swoop in—again—to check every little detail. You’re just being thorough, right? Making sure everything’s perfect?
Despite your intentions being in the right place, research shows that excessive oversight actually reduces team productivity24 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/009102601003900105 .
Those constant check-ins might feel like good leadership, but they’re suffocating your team’s creativity and confidence. Here’s the hard truth: if you hired capable people, you need to let them prove it. Your job is to set clear expectations and be available for support—not to hover over every decision.
As Theodore Roosevelt25 https://www.theodorerooseveltcenter.org/Learn-About-TR/TR-Quotes?page=134#:~:text=The%20best%20executive%20is%20the,found%20to%20verify%20the%20attribution. once said, “The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good [wo]men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.”
Additional professional bad habits
- Missing deadlines
- Being chronically late
- Gossipping about colleagues
- Taking credit for others’ work
- Poor email communication
- Unpreparedness for meetings
- Workplace negativity
- Avoiding difficult tasks
- Overcommitting
- Underselling achievements
- Poor time management
- Resistance to change
- Not documenting work
- Avoiding networking
- Poor delegation skills
- Not asking questions
- Staying in toxic work environments too long
- Email hoarding
- Meeting tardiness
- Workspace clutter
- Poor task prioritization
- Avoiding professional development
- Not backing up work
- Social media during work
- Keeping outdated processes “because we’ve always done it this way”
- Communication ghosting
Personal Development Bad Habits
- Seeking Constant Validation
“Hey, what did you think of my presentation?” you ask, for the third time today. The positive feedback rolls in, but somehow it never quite sticks—you’re already planning who else to ask.
Research26 https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2004-13724-002?doi=1 shows this constant need for external validation actually weakens our self-esteem over time, creating a dependency that gets harder to break. Each hit of approval feels good for a moment, but like any addiction, you need more and more to feel secure.
Your worth isn’t determined by a running tally of compliments. Try sitting with your achievements for a moment before rushing to have them verified by others.
- Comparison with Others
Another scroll through LinkedIn or Instagram, another pang of “not enough.” Someone just landed their dream job, started a successful business, or bought their second home. Meanwhile, you’re wondering if you’re falling behind.
Conventional wisdom tells us that “comparison is the thief of joy.” Science27 https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15213269.2023.2180647 backs it up: a meta-analysis of 48 studies found that comparing ourselves to others on social media has detrimental effects on our body image, well-being, mental health and self-esteem.
Your path doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. And those successful people? They’re probably too busy building their own path to compare themselves to you.
- Living in the Past
Another evening spent replaying that awkward meeting from three years ago, or reminiscing about “the good old days.” Whether it’s past glories or old regrets, you’re spending today’s energy on moments you can’t change.
Research28 https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0005796720300243 shows this backward focus prevents us from processing new experiences fully, and can negatively impact our mental health.
While reflection has its place, getting stuck in the past keeps you from writing your next chapter. Those memories shaped you, but they don’t get to drive your future.
- Information Hoarding
Your browser has 47 tabs open, your “read later” list is longer than your actual reading history, and your phone storage is crying for help. Somewhere in those saved articles and bookmarked videos lies the key to self-improvement—or so you keep telling yourself.
Hey, maybe this article was sitting in your “read later” folder until today (if so, congratulations on finally opening it!). Hoarding can be as much of a digital phenomenon as it is physical. Knowledge isn’t power until you put it into practice. Pick one thing and start today.
- Comfort Zone Addiction
Your comfort zone started as a cozy retreat. Now it’s more like a prison. That career move you’ve been considering? That skill you want to learn? They’re all waiting on the other side of your familiar routines.
Every time you choose comfort over growth, you’re trading your potential for temporary peace. The magic happens at the edge of your comfort zone—time to take a step closer to that edge.
- Analysis Paralysis
Day three of researching the “perfect” workout routine. Or was it day thirty? You’ve compared every program, read every review, and somehow you’re still not quite ready to start.
The more options we have, the more paralyzed we become, endlessly seeking the perfect choice. At some point, you have to trust that you know enough to take the first step and take Shia LaBeouf’s ageless advice:
- Unstructured Learning
No, you don’t need 10,000 hours to master a craft, but you do need structured learning. Jumping from podcast to video to article and picking up random bits of knowledge like loose change might seem like you’re learning, but without a dedicated system to organize, consolidate and apply it all, most of it simply evaporates.
If you’re serious about getting better at something, you need a structured framework to build on. Pick a direction and create a learning path.
- Goal Abandonment
Another New Year’s resolution bites the dust by February. The gym membership gathers dust, the meditation app sends sad notifications, and that language learning streak? Let’s not talk about it.
While motivation gets all the attention, behavioral scientists have uncovered something more interesting: most people abandon their goals not from lack of motivation, but from poor goal-setting strategies. Those big dreams need to be broken down into tiny, daily actions.
Want to make those New Year’s resolutions stick? Check out our guide here: The Best Ways to Make (and Keep) Your New Year’s Resolutions.
- Not Understanding Your Core Values
That promotion looks great on paper, but something feels off. The lifestyle you’re chasing leaves you empty, and those relationships you “should” want don’t quite fit.
Studies29 https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11018899/ reveal that those who act in accordance with their core values experience greater well-being, more resilience, and more defined sense of purpose.
These values are your internal compass—ignore them, and even success can feel like failure. Maybe it’s time to check if you’re following true north.
- Skill Hopping
Last month’s watercolor supplies sit in a corner while you dive into coding tutorials. Next week, maybe woodworking? The modern world makes it easy to start anything.
While being a Renaissance master-of-all-trades sounds romantic, research tells us that true expertise requires focused time and deliberate practice (though not necessarily 10,000 hours worth of it!)
There’s a difference between being a lifelong learner and a permanent beginner. Pick something that lights you up and give it enough time to really sink in.
Additional personal development bad habits
- Making excuses
- Blaming others
- Negative self-talk
- Avoiding responsibility
- Fixed mindset
- Refusing to ask for help
- Fear-based decision making
- Catastrophizing
- Avoiding challenges
- Resisting change
- Lack of self-reflection
- Ignoring feedback
- Resistance to learning
- Digital distraction
- Self-limiting beliefs
- Poor morning routine
- Lack of planning
- Avoiding accountability
- Poor habit tracking
- Emotional reactivity
- Refusing mentorship
- Poor habit stacking
- Poor skill development
- Mindless consumption
- Resistance to feedback
Financial Bad Habits
- Impulse Spending
You only came here for toothpaste, but somehow there’s a new gadget, two books, and what’s probably a year’s supply of snacks in your basket. We’ve all been there—there’s a reason they call it retail therapy!
Unfortunately, unchecked impulse spending adds up fast. And it’s not just about the money. That quick hit of shopping dopamine masks something deeper: we often reach for our wallets when we’re actually hungry, tired, or emotionally drained. Next time you’re about to buy something you didn’t plan for, try the 24-hour rule. If you still want it tomorrow, at least you’ll know it’s not just the late-night munchies talking.
- Financial Avoidance
When was the last time you actually logged into your bank account? Or opened those retirement statements?
That pit in your stomach when you think about money isn’t going away by ignoring it. The less you look at your finances, the more your spending tends to spiral. It’s like closing your eyes on a roller coaster—you’re still on the ride, but now you can’t see what’s coming. Your financial health deserves the same regular check-ups as your physical health.
- Lifestyle Inflation
Got a raise? Time for a fancier apartment! Bonus? New wardrobe! Your income goes up, and somehow your expenses magically rise to meet it.
That’s the sneaky thing about lifestyle inflation: it feels totally justified in the moment. After all, you worked hard for that money, right? But every time your spending automatically rises with your income, you’re stealing from your future self.
Next time you’re about to make a big purchase, think to yourself: Was I doing okay without this back when I couldn’t afford it? Nine times out of 10, the answer’s probably yes.
- Emergency Fund Neglect
Keeping an emergency fund is personal finance 101, but we like to trick ourselves into pretending emergencies only happen to other people. “I’ll start saving for emergencies once things settle down,” you tell yourself.
Then the car breaks down, or the pet needs surgery, or that job isn’t as secure as you thought. Without a financial buffer, every unexpected expense becomes an emergency, and every emergency puts you deeper in the hole. Your future self is begging you to stash away even a little bit each month. Peace of mind has a price tag, and it’s usually lower than we think.
- Credit Card Dependency
Swiping plastic just feels different than handing over cash, doesn’t it? That tap-to-pay is so convenient, you barely register the spending anymore.
Before you know it, you’re playing hot potato with balances between cards, watching those interest charges eat away at your future. That “rewards points” justification starts to sound hollow when you’re paying 20% interest on last month’s groceries. Your coffee might be getting you airline miles, but your debt is keeping you grounded.
- Keeping Up With the Joneses
Your neighbor just got a new car, and suddenly your reliable ride feels embarrassingly outdated. Your coworker mentions their fancy vacation, and your planned staycation seems inadequate.
It’s a game of visible consumption that nobody really wins; while we’re stretching our budget to match someone else’s highlights, they’re probably struggling to maintain an equally unsustainable image. Your financial goals deserve better than being derailed by someone else’s carefully curated lifestyle.
- DIY Financial Mistakes
Who needs an accountant when you’ve got Google, right? That’s what you told yourself before spending 15 hours on your taxes, only to miss deductions that would have paid for professional help five times over.
From estate planning to investment strategies, we try to DIY our finances to save money, ironically often losing more in the process. It’s like fixing your own car: sometimes you save a few bucks, but other times you end up with extra parts and a bigger repair bill.
Sure, basic financial maintenance is great to handle yourself, but know when to call in the experts. That professional fee might feel expensive until you calculate the cost of getting it wrong.
- Budget Neglect
You have a general idea of your monthly expenses… sort of. Maybe. Okay, not really. But keeping track of every penny sounds like a special kind of torture.
Here’s the thing about budgets, though: they’re not about restriction—they’re about awareness. Flying blind with your finances is like trying to lose weight without ever looking at a scale. Your money is going somewhere; wouldn’t you like to know where before it’s all gone?
- Subscription Creep
Netflix, Spotify, that meditation app you used twice, the gym membership you’re definitely going to use next month… Each one seemed reasonable on its own, but now they’re quietly bleeding your bank account every month.
The genius of subscription services is how forgettable they are—until you add them all up. Time for a subscription audit. Your streaming services shouldn’t cost more than your savings contributions.
- Financial FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
Your cousin’s friend’s neighbor just made a fortune in crypto, and that guy from high school is crushing it with day trading. Meanwhile, your sensible index funds feel boring and slow. The fear of missing out on the next big thing can make even the most rational investor make irrational choices.
As the saying goes: do your own due diligence!
Additional financial bad habits
- Living beyond means
- Ignoring retirement planning
- Gambling tendencies
- Lending money to friends
- Neglecting insurance
- Avoiding tax planning
- Late bill payments
- No financial goals
- Poor debt management
- Investment procrastination
- No savings strategy
- Ignoring compound interest
- Poor credit management
- Financial illiteracy
- Excessive luxury spending
- Brand dependency
- Poor money boundaries
- Financial denial
- No retirement planning
- Poor record keeping
- Financial comparison
- Poor financial education
- Status spending
- Living paycheck to paycheck
How to Break Bad Habits
Hopefully, this article has given you a rather comprehensive list of bad habits to be aware of. However, awareness is only half the battle. How do we break them?
The key to breaking bad habits isn’t willpower alone (although it certainly helps). Simply telling yourself to stop is about as useful as telling the tide not to come in.
Instead, break it down into these steps:
- Identify Your Triggers
Understanding what prompts your bad habits is the first step to changing them. Keep a habit diary for a week to spot patterns.
- Replace, Don’t Remove
It’s easier to replace a bad habit with a good one than to simply try to stop the bad habit.
- Start Small
Breaking habits is more successful when we make tiny, manageable changes rather than attempting dramatic transformations.
- Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself after a slip-up; it’s consistency that matters, not perfection.
Want to dive deeper into breaking bad habits and forming better ones? Check out our comprehensive guide: Habits: How to Form Better Habits and Break Bad Ones.
Frequently Asked Questions
While the old saying claims it takes 21 days to form a new habit, research suggests it actually takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days, with an average of 66 days for a new habit to become automatic. The time varies depending on the complexity of the habit and individual circumstances.
Yes, bad habits can be broken permanently, but the neural pathways created by these habits never completely disappear. This is why it’s easier to fall back into old habits during stressful times. The key is to create stronger neural pathways for good habits while having strategies to manage triggers for old ones.
Focusing on one habit at a time is most effective. Trying to break multiple habits simultaneously can overwhelm your willpower and lead to failure. Start with the habit that has the biggest impact on your life or the one that triggers other bad habits.
While specific habits aren’t inherited, genetic factors can influence personality traits and tendencies that make certain habits more likely to form. However, environmental factors and personal choice play much larger roles in habit formation.
Bad habits are difficult to break because they often provide immediate rewards while their negative consequences are usually delayed. Additionally, stress and tiredness can weaken our ability to maintain good habits, making it easier to fall back on familiar patterns, even if they’re unhealthy.
Breaking Free From Bad Habits
Bad habits are part of the human experience, but they don’t have to define your future. Here are the most important points to remember:
- Awareness is the First Step Simply recognizing your bad habits puts you ahead of most people. Many of the habits we’ve discussed operate below our conscious awareness until we shine a light on them.
- Small Changes Lead to Big Results You don’t need to transform your entire life overnight. Research shows that focusing on changing just one small habit can create a positive ripple effect across other areas of your life.
- Replace, Don’t Just Remove The most successful habit changes come from substituting bad habits with positive ones, rather than trying to eliminate them entirely. For every bad habit you’ve identified from our list, consider what good habit could take its place.
- Progress Over Perfection Remember that breaking bad habits is a journey, not a destination. If you slip back into old patterns, use it as a learning opportunity rather than a reason to give up.
- Environment Matters Many of our habits, both good and bad, are triggered by our environment. Setting yourself up for success often means changing your surroundings to support your desired habits.
Ready to transform your habits and create lasting positive change? Don’t try to tackle everything at once! Choose one habit from our list to focus on, and check out our detailed guide on Habits: How to Form Better Habits and Break Bad Ones for a step-by-step approach to making lasting change.
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