In This Article
Learn 22 research-backed handshake tips from body language experts. Master grip, eye contact, palm position, and cultural norms for any situation.
A handshake takes about three seconds. In that time, the other person’s brain has already decided how they feel about you.
A 2012 brain-imaging study at the University of Illinois found that a handshake activates the nucleus accumbens—the same reward center that lights up when you eat chocolate. Even more striking, a handshake can rescue a bad first impression.1
Researchers at the University of Alabama found that people with firm handshakes were rated as more extroverted, open to experience, and emotionally positive—and less neurotic and shy.2
Here are 22 research-backed tips to make sure yours works for you.
The Basics: Tips 1-7
Tip 1: Always Stand Up
Rise to meet someone—every time. Staying seated signals disinterest.
Tip 2: Make Eye Contact First
Eyes meet before hands greet. Look at the person and smile before you extend your hand.
Tip 3: Use Your Right Hand
The right hand is the universal handshake hand. In the Middle East, South Asia, and parts of Africa, the left hand is traditionally associated with personal hygiene.
Tip 4: Aim for Web-to-Web Contact
The skin between your thumb and index finger should meet the same spot on the other person’s hand.3
Tip 5: Choose Your Target
In a group setting, greet everyone present — don’t skip anyone.
Tip 6: Hold the Grip One Second Longer
University of Dundee research: handshake duration affects perceived trustworthiness and confidence.4 The sweet spot is two to three seconds.
Tip 7: Stay Dry
Wipe your hand discreetly before high-stakes meetings. Keep a handkerchief in your pocket at networking events.
Advanced Techniques: Tips 8-14
Tip 8: Mirror Their Grip Strength
The single most important advanced technique. Match the other person’s pressure level. A 2019 UC Berkeley study found handshaking before negotiations made both parties more honest and cooperative.5
Tip 9: Speak Before You Release
Say your name before you let go. This anchors the handshake to a verbal memory.
Tip 10: Use a Slight Lean
A subtle forward lean signals engagement and interest.
Tip 11: Control the Pump
Two to three pumps from the elbow. More than three feels manic; fewer than two feels abrupt.
Tip 12: Keep Your Palm Vertical
Vertical = equality. Palm down = dominance. Palm up = submission. Allan Pease’s research confirms this across cultures.6
Tip 13: Smile Genuinely
A Duchenne smile—one that reaches your eyes—activates the other person’s mirror neurons.
Tip 14: Time It Right
Extend your hand as you’re approaching, not after you’ve stopped moving.
Power Moves and Awareness: Tips 15-19
Tip 15: Know the Three Handshakes to Avoid
{/* ANECDOTE: receiving a dead fish handshake at a conference — editorial team should swap for real Vanessa story */}
The Dead Fish: Limp, passive, lifeless. Signals lack of confidence.
The Bone Crusher: Painful vice-like squeeze. Signals insecurity masked as strength.
The Finger Grab: Only fingertips grasped. Feels condescending.
Tip 16: Recognize (and Counter) the Dominant Handshake
If someone offers palm-down, they’re making a power play.6 Counter-move: Step forward and slightly left to naturally level the palms.
Tip 17: Save the Two-Handed Shake for People You Know
The “politician’s handshake” feels warm with close contacts but invasive with strangers.7
Tip 18: Be the First to Extend Your Hand
Initiating projects confidence and sets the tone.3
Tip 19: Read the Room
Some professionals now prefer a wave, nod, or fist bump. A confident “Handshake okay?” shows social awareness.
Context and Culture: Tips 20-22
Tip 20: Adapt for Cultural Context
{/* ANECDOTE: South Korea business meeting handshake — editorial team should swap for real Vanessa story */}
- UK: Lighter grip than American standard
- France: Quick, one brisk pump. Shake with everyone on arrival AND departure
- China: Gentle grip. Firm Western squeeze can seem aggressive
- Japan: Often combined with a slight bow
- South Korea: Support your right forearm with your left hand for respect
- Middle East: Always right hand. Men and women may not shake hands in conservative settings
Tip 21: Know Who Should Initiate
Business: Rank trumps gender — higher-ranking person initiates. Social: Either party can initiate in modern settings.
Tip 22: Use the “Shake and Wait” Technique
Extend your hand and pause a split second before gripping. Let the other person set the grip strength, then mirror it.
The best handshake isn’t about grip strength — it’s about reading the other person and matching their energy.
What to Do Instead of a Handshake
Watch our video on what to do instead of a handshake:
- The Nod: Simple downward nod with a warm smile
- The Smile and Wave: Best for casual settings
- The Fist Bump: Casual, friendly, lower-contact
- The Heart-Hello: Hand over heart with a slight nod
- The Air Hug: Arms open briefly without contact
- The Footshake: Light tap of feet — emerged during the pandemic
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a golden handshake?
A business term for a lucrative severance package given to top executives when leaving a company.
How long should a handshake last?
Two to three seconds. One second longer than expected increases perceived warmth; beyond four seconds starts to feel uncomfortable.4
How firm should a handshake be?
About a 7 out of 10. The best approach is to mirror the other person’s grip strength.2
What are the three types of handshakes?
Dominant (palm down), submissive (palm up), and equal (palm vertical). The vertical handshake is the gold standard for professional interactions.6
Handshake or hug? Watch our video on how to handle awkward greetings:
Watch how 3 world leaders strategically handshake for dominance:
Handshake Takeaway
- Your brain is listening. A handshake activates the brain’s reward center.1
- Nail the mechanics. Web-to-web contact, vertical palm, firm grip, 2-3 pumps.
- Mirror, don’t overpower. Match the other person’s grip strength.5
- Speak before you release. Anchor the connection to your name.
- Read the room. Adapt for cultural context and personal preferences.
