What Is Interpersonal Communication? (And How To Improve It)

Most people believe good communication means choosing the right words. The research tells a different story. Your vocal tone, eye contact patterns, and body language often carry more weight than the words themselves. Understanding interpersonal communication—and the four distinct channels it travels through—can transform how colleagues perceive you, how negotiations unfold, and how deeply you connect with the people who matter most.

What Is Interpersonal Communication?

Interpersonal communication is the process of exchanging information, meaning, and emotions between two or more people through verbal and nonverbal channels. Also known as “people skills” or “social communication,” it includes face-to-face conversations, written messages, body language, and active listening.

Interpersonal communication helps you connect with others. It lets you exchange ideas, develop relationships, influence decisions, and create meaningful experiences. These interpersonal skills give you the tools to resolve conflict, solve problems, listen actively, and make yourself understood in both professional and personal settings.

Why Is Interpersonal Communication Important?

The importance of interpersonal communication extends into every area of life. Strong communication skills help you build trust, resolve conflicts, and create deeper connections with the people around you.

Why is communication important in relationships? Effective communication forms the foundation of healthy relationships. When you can express your needs clearly and listen with empathy, you reduce misunderstandings and strengthen emotional bonds. Partners who communicate well report higher satisfaction and navigate challenges more successfully.

Why are interpersonal skills important in the workplace? In professional settings, interpersonal communication skills directly impact your success. Teams with strong communicators collaborate more effectively, complete projects faster, and experience less conflict. Whether you’re presenting ideas, giving feedback, or building client relationships, your ability to communicate determines outcomes.

Why are interpersonal skills important for leaders? Leaders rely on interpersonal communication to inspire teams, provide clear direction, and build trust. Effective leaders use active listening to understand employee concerns, deliver feedback constructively, and create environments where people feel heard. Research consistently shows that communication skills rank among the top qualities employees want in their managers.

The importance of interpersonal communication also affects your mental health and well-being. People with strong social connections—built through effective interpersonal communication—experience lower rates of anxiety and depression. Your ability to communicate shapes nearly every meaningful interaction you have.

Types of Interpersonal Communication

There are four main types of interpersonal communication, each offering unique opportunities to connect and influence:

1. Verbal Communication – What you say and how you say it, including tone of voice, word choice, and pacing. Verbal communication carries your ideas, but your delivery often matters more than the words themselves. A confident tone projects competence, while hesitation can undermine even the strongest message.
2. Nonverbal Communication – What you communicate through body language, facial expressions, gestures, and posture. Experts estimate that nonverbal cues account for a significant portion of message interpretation. Your crossed arms, eye contact patterns, and facial expressions all send signals—sometimes contradicting your words.
3. Written Communication – Communication through email, text, letters, or any digital format. Written communication lacks vocal tone and body language, making word choice and structure especially important. The same message can read as warm or cold depending on how you craft it.
4. Listening Communication – How you receive and respond to others, signaling engagement and understanding. Active listening involves more than staying quiet while someone talks. It requires focus, feedback, and genuine curiosity about the other person’s perspective.

Mastering all four types of interpersonal communication gives you flexibility to adapt your approach based on the situation, the person, and your goals.

How to Improve Interpersonal Communication Skills

Good news: if interpersonal communication is not your strength, it is a skill you can learn. Each channel offers specific opportunities to strengthen your effectiveness. Let’s explore practical techniques for each one.

Tip #1: Develop Vocal Confidence

How you communicate matters as much as the words you say. If your voice comes out high, squeaky, or soft and hesitant, your verbal skills may not express confidence and strength.

Vanessa Van Edwards recommends speaking on the out-breath. 

Research published in PLOS ONE^{1https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0073820}found that both men and women perceive lower-pitched voices as more competent, stronger, and more trustworthy. One technique to achieve this naturally: speak on the out-breath. This relaxes your vocal cords and prevents the “squeak” of tension.

Vocal strength and resonance are vital when communicating with others in the workplace. Consider this scenario:

Your boss asks whether the current strategy is reaching predicted sales goals. Which response sounds more competent?

Response A: “Yes? I think that we are moving in the right direction. All the numbers and things are adding up to be… that way…”

Response B: “Yes. All of the data suggests we are moving in the right direction. I currently have no concerns.”

Response B communicates competence and confidence with a clear answer. What went wrong in Response A? When your voice goes up at the end of a sentence, it sounds like a question. This is a fast way to appear incompetent and unsure of yourself. Another culprit that can sabotage your communication: letting sentences trail off.

If you genuinely aren’t sure, try this approach:

Response C: “At the moment, the data is inconclusive. Can I get back to you on that?”

Want to level up your people skills? Check out our resource:

Master Your People Skills

• Create a Memorable Presence
• Communicate with Confidence
• Achieve Your Goals

Join People School

Have a question about the presentation or People School? Contact Science of People support.

Tip #2: Practice Your Negotiation Skills (Verbal Communication)

Negotiation isn’t just for high-profile businesses and politicians. It’s something people do daily. Negotiating involves using communication to reach a reasonable compromise while avoiding conflict.

Examples of everyday negotiations:

• Choosing where to go to lunch with friends
• Whether to go for a run or stay in bed another 30 minutes
• Extending the deadline on a work project
• Setting curfew expectations with your teen

Pro Tip: Practice your negotiation skills^{2https://youtube.com/shorts/iLpSyh7wqAM?feature=share}in low-stakes situations and request feedback from friends and family. Assessing your negotiation skills will help you identify what to improve and where your strengths lie.

As you practice, don’t be afraid to speak up—but keep your tone calm and stable. Tone, volume, and speed are all critical to effective verbal communication. Fast speech can signal competence but may reduce perceived warmth. Finding your balance takes practice.

Tip #3: Use Self-Awareness to Communicate Who You Are (Nonverbal Communication)

What are your nonverbal habits? Princess Diana used the chin tuck^{3https://youtube.com/shorts/5lWuNr4JjA0?feature=share}—lowering her head while looking up—a nonverbal cue that became part of her brand. Body language experts identify this as an “appeasement signal” or submissive cue. It made her appear non-threatening and triggered protective instincts in observers, contributing to her approachable public image.

Like Princess Diana, you may have nonverbal habits that people identify as synonymous with you. These patterns shape your interpersonal communication—whether you slouch in meetings, touch your nose when nervous, cover your mouth when you laugh, or smirk when you disagree.

Nonverbals can damage how others see you. Slouching in meetings may signal apathy. Smirking when you disagree can appear arrogant and condescending.

How does self-concept affect communication? Your self-concept—how you see yourself—directly influences how you communicate with others. If you view yourself as confident and capable, your body language typically reflects that belief. If you struggle with self-doubt, you may unconsciously adopt defensive postures or avoid eye contact. Developing both intrapersonal awareness (understanding yourself) and interpersonal skills (connecting with others) creates a foundation for authentic, effective communication.

Pro Tip: Develop self-awareness by exploring what emotions you feel when you use negative nonverbal communication. Look for the cause of those emotions, then strengthen your interpersonal communication by shifting your responses.

For example, consider why you might be slouching in meetings:

• You feel anxious in group settings
• You dislike the person leading the meeting
• Too many meetings leave you feeling overwhelmed with your workload

There are solutions to each of these situations. Slouching is not one of them—it’s counterproductive.

Action Steps:

1. What is one nonverbal habit that communicates a negative message about you?
2. What do you feel when you use that nonverbal cue? Can you be assertive and address the underlying problem?
3. What is one nonverbal that communicates a positive message? Can you use it to replace unhelpful cues?

Tip #4: Make Connections With Eye Contact (Nonverbal Communication)

Whether gazing into your child’s eyes to build healthy attachment^{4https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-76044-y}or making eye contact with someone you’re attracted to, this simple behavior can strengthen your charisma and connection with others. Research published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience^{5https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/14/9/967/5566553}found that direct eye contact enhances “interpersonal motor resonance”—essentially making your brain more attuned to the other person’s movements.

Why is eye contact so important for social communication? Eye contact serves as a fundamental building block of human connection. It signals attention, builds trust, and creates a sense of mutual understanding. When you make appropriate eye contact, you communicate respect and genuine interest. Avoiding eye contact, conversely, can signal discomfort, dishonesty, or disengagement—even when that’s not your intention.

Eye contact is also a reliable indicator of whether someone is interested^{6https://youtube.com/shorts/QxRJ2qD4eOU?feature=share}in you. Use this skill carefully—you wouldn’t want your colleague or potential client to misinterpret sustained eye contact.

Pro Tip: A common communication guideline suggests making eye contact at least 30% of the time, but avoiding more than 60-70%. While these exact percentages aren’t derived from a single study, they represent a practical framework for comfortable interaction—enough to show engagement without triggering discomfort.

Examples of effective eye contact:

• With your boss: Hold eye contact for 4-5 seconds to show you’re listening. When you look away, do so to take notes. Nodding is also a comfortable way to break eye contact naturally.
• With your partner: When they talk, lean forward and nod. Hold eye contact and raise your eyebrows or smile to show interest. In new relationships, avoid staring too long. Glance to the side (not down, which looks submissive). Aim for roughly 50% eye contact while speaking and 70% while listening.
• With your children: Maintain frequent eye contact with your little ones, especially during infancy. Look deeply into their eyes and mirror their facial expressions. Studies confirm^{5https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/14/9/967/5566553}eye contact is essential to healthy development.

Cultural Note: Remember to account for cultural differences in eye contact. Research shows^{7https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4340785/}that Westerners scan the face in a triangle pattern (eyes to mouth), while East Asians focus on the center of the face. While Western cultures value direct eye contact, other cultures may find it disrespectful or suggestive.

Tip #5: Do an Email Audit (Written Communication)

We’ve all received an email that feels terse, rude, or passive-aggressive. Do you know what your emails sound like? Are they long and drawn out? Short and terse? Warm and competent?

Vanessa suggests doing an email audit to check what you are communicating digitally. 

Research on social perception reveals that people judge others on two primary dimensions: warmth (your intentions) and competence (your ability). The challenge? There’s often a trade-off. Appearing highly competent can reduce perceived warmth, and vice versa.

Action Steps:

• Open 5 important emails you’ve sent in the last few days
• Look at the first 10 words in each email
• Count how many warm words versus competent words you used

Let’s examine the good, bad, and ugly of written interpersonal communication.

Scenario 1 (Ineffective):

Hey. I need info on cathy. Expected it from you yesterday. Check the attachment.

Why this doesn’t work:

• Terse punctuation creates a cold tone
• Passive-aggressive undertone
• The email doesn’t explain what information is needed or why it’s urgent
• No indication of what the attachment contains or what response is needed

Try this instead:

Hey [name], have you received the information on Cathy from the hiring manager? I was hoping to move forward with the hiring process, but I just heard Larry requested we change the job description. I’m not sure Cathy still meets the qualifications with this adjustment. See attached for the updated job description. I’d appreciate it if you could communicate with the hiring manager and then update me on what is happening.

Why it works:

• Provides context and clearly outlines the request
• Explains what the attachment contains
• Balances competence with reasonable warmth

Scenario 2 (Ineffective):

Hey Don! How have you been?? I heard you had a great vacation. So jellies!! 💔💔 Did you get my last email? I know you’ve been busy, but I REALLY need your help! I’ll swing by your office later if I don’t hear from you.

Why this doesn’t work:

• Excessive emojis and punctuation undermine professionalism
• Slightly manipulative tone
• Inconsiderate and unclear about the actual request

Try this instead:

Hey Don! Glad to have you back from vacation. I know you have a lot on your plate, but I hope you can help me with information on our new client. Jessica mentioned you were their first point of contact. I want to ensure I have the complete picture before I start, and I value your perspective.

I look forward to hearing from you. I’ll be at my desk until 5 if it’s easier to talk in person. Thanks so much!

Why it works:

• Polite and professional
• Provides context upfront
• Offers multiple response options while staying concise

Pro Tip: Don’t attempt to suddenly radiate warmth if your typical style is abrupt. Instead, make minor adjustments over time. Gradually adding warmth will feel more natural to both you and your recipients.

Tip #6: Use Verbal and Nonverbal Mirroring (Listening Communication)

One of the most powerful interpersonal skills is listening—and listening well. Why is listening important in any interpersonal communication situation? When you listen actively, you make others feel valued and understood. This builds trust, reduces defensiveness, and opens the door to genuine connection. Poor listening, by contrast, creates frustration and damages relationships over time.

We all crave feeling seen and heard. You can satisfy that need in the people you interact with through mirroring.

As researcher Rick van Baaren from Radboud University explains: “Mimicry creates bonds between people. You know that what you’re doing is OK, and you become more generous.”

Mirroring techniques:

• Nod when someone else nods
• Lean forward when the other person leans forward
• Cross your legs in the same direction as the speaker
• Repeat key words the other person has used
• Match their cadence and tone in speech

Mirroring is all about observing the person in front of you. Listen to what they say and how they move, then subtly reflect that back. Mirroring often happens naturally when we attune to others—the goal is awareness, not mechanical mimicking.

Pro Tip: Avoid mirroring negative body language, such as physically withdrawing or looking away.

Practical Applications:

• Restaurant servers: According to a study on mimicry and tipping behavior,^{7https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4340785/} tips increased significantly when servers verbally repeated customers’ orders back to them. Mirroring helps customers feel heard and understood.
• On a date: Use the triple nod to keep the other person talking. Add subtle body language mirroring to build rapport naturally.
• During conflict: Use verbal mirroring for conflict resolution (after taking a few minutes to cool down). Unlike casual mirroring, this is active and intentional.

Conflict Resolution Mirroring (Step-by-Step):

Effective conflict resolution requires empathy—the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings. Mirroring during disagreements demonstrates that empathy in action.

1. Person A shares feelings: “I feel hurt that you didn’t buy the coffee I asked for. It feels like you don’t listen to me.”
2. Person B mirrors back: “You feel hurt because it feels like I don’t listen to you?”
3. Switch roles. Person B shares: “When you ask me to pick up groceries last minute, I feel frustrated. I need time to plan, and I don’t feel you understand that about me.”
4. Person A mirrors back: “So you feel frustrated because I don’t give you time to plan, and you feel like I should know this is one of your needs?”

The goal isn’t getting your point across. It’s listening to the other person and helping them feel heard. This approach transforms conflicts from battles into opportunities for deeper understanding.

Tip #7: Use Your Face (Listening Communication)

When listening to someone, be deeply engaged. Your facial expressions can communicate volumes about your attention level.

Two specific techniques signal active engagement:

• The eyebrow flash: Slightly widening your eyes and raising your eyebrows signals recognition and interest. This is a universal greeting signal across cultures.
• The squinch: Slightly narrowing your eyes signals focus and concentration. This subtle movement shows you’re processing what someone says.

Pro Tip: Have you noticed how flat facial expressions can be on video calls, especially in groups? Set yourself apart by showing facial expressions that demonstrate active listening.

Techniques to increase your listening impact:

• Raise your eyebrows when surprised by information
• Open your mouth slightly when your friend shares something indignant
• Nod three times to show you want to hear more
• Avoid pressing your lips together (which signals displeasure) when you need to listen without judgment
• Tilt your head to indicate you’re processing information

Experience resting facial expressions that others misread? Here’s the science behind it and how to address it.

Barriers to Effective Interpersonal Communication

Even with strong skills, certain barriers can block effective communication:

• Emotional barriers: Stress, anger, or anxiety can distort how you send and receive messages. When emotions run high, your ability to listen objectively decreases, and you may say things you don’t mean.
• Cultural differences: Varying norms around eye contact, personal space, and directness can create misunderstandings. What feels respectful in one culture may seem rude in another.
• Lack of feedback: Without checking for understanding, misunderstandings multiply. Effective communicators ask clarifying questions and invite responses.
• Environmental distractions: Noise, interruptions, and multitasking reduce comprehension. Creating focused environments for important conversations improves outcomes.
• Empathy gaps: Failing to consider another person’s perspective or emotions creates disconnect. Building empathy requires intentional effort to understand experiences different from your own.
• Assumptions and biases: Preconceived notions about people or situations can filter how you interpret messages, leading to inaccurate conclusions.

Recognizing these barriers is the first step to overcoming them. When communication breaks down, ask yourself: which barrier might be at play?

Interpersonal Communication in the Workplace

The importance of interpersonal communication becomes especially clear in professional settings. Your ability to communicate effectively influences hiring decisions, team dynamics, client relationships, and career advancement.

What is the importance of interpersonal skill in the workplace? Strong interpersonal communication skills help you:

• Collaborate effectively: Teams with good communicators share information freely, resolve disagreements constructively, and complete projects more efficiently.
• Build professional relationships: Whether networking, managing clients, or working with colleagues, your communication style shapes how others perceive and trust you.
• Navigate difficult conversations: From performance feedback to salary negotiations, workplace success requires the ability to communicate clearly during high-stakes moments.
• Lead and influence: Managers who communicate well inspire their teams, provide clear direction, and create environments where employees feel valued.

Giving and receiving feedback represents one of the most important workplace communication skills. Effective feedback is specific, timely, and focused on behavior rather than personality. When receiving feedback, practice active listening without becoming defensive—even when the message is difficult to hear.

Pro Tip: Before important workplace conversations, consider your goal and the other person’s perspective. This preparation helps you communicate with both clarity and empathy.

Interpersonal vs Intrapersonal Communication

Interpersonal communication is how you interact with others. Intrapersonal communication is how you interact with yourself.

Quick Facts on Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal communication includes oral, written, and nonverbal communication plus listening.

Categories:

• Between two people (dyadic)
• In small groups
• Public speaking

Example: You receive a phone call from your mom who wants to know if you’ve been taking care of yourself. You use your interpersonal communication skills to reassure her with a soothing voice that you’re fine—your work project has kept you too busy to think about anything else. You cheerfully set a lunch date for after you’ve completed your project.

How Intrapersonal Communication Differs

Intrapersonal communication includes three main components:

1. Self-awareness: How you see yourself, shaping your beliefs, values, and mindset
2. Perception: How you filter and interpret others based on your self-concept
3. Expectations: What you expect from yourself and those around you

Categories:

• Internal dialogue
• Self-talk and self-analysis
• Reflection through journals, books, or audio

Using the example above, intrapersonal communication would include how you respond internally to your mom’s call. Do you feel confident in yourself? Or does her call annoy you because you doubt yourself and feel like others doubt your competence too?

Why is it important to develop intrapersonal and interpersonal communication skills? These two forms of communication are deeply connected. Your internal dialogue shapes how you show up in conversations with others. If your self-talk is harsh and critical, that negativity often leaks into your interpersonal interactions. Developing self-awareness through intrapersonal work makes you a more effective, authentic communicator with others.

Books About Interpersonal Communication

1. Captivate

Succeed with People

Master the laws of human behavior and get along with anyone. Increase your influence, impact, and success.

Register below to get your FREE chapter of Captivate.

Get my free chapter

2. Cues

Unlock the Secrets of Charisma

Control and leverage the tiny signals you’re sending—from your stance and facial expressions to your word choice and vocal tone—to improve your personal and professional relationships.

Get Cues

3. That’s Not What I Meant! by Deborah Tannen

A classic book on interpersonal communication. Deborah Tannen explores how to overcome misunderstandings and decode what people are really trying to communicate.

Key Takeaways

Effective interpersonal communication transforms your relationships, career, and daily interactions. Here’s what to remember:

1. Lower your pitch: Speaking on the out-breath relaxes your vocal cords and projects competence. Avoid uptalk (rising intonation) that makes statements sound like questions.
2. Practice negotiation daily: Use low-stakes situations like lunch decisions to build skills before high-stakes conversations.
3. Audit your nonverbals: Identify one negative habit (slouching, smirking) and replace it with a positive cue.
4. Calibrate eye contact: Aim for 30-60% eye contact as a general guideline—enough to show engagement without creating discomfort.
5. Balance warmth and competence in writing: Review your emails for tone. Make gradual adjustments rather than dramatic shifts.
6. Mirror to connect: Subtly reflect others’ body language and repeat their words to build rapport. Research shows this can increase positive responses significantly.
7. Engage your face: Use eyebrow raises, head tilts, and nodding to signal active listening—especially on video calls.

Ready to build on these skills? Explore our guide to Interpersonal Intelligence Skills for advanced techniques.