How to Tell Someone They Smell in 4 Easy Steps

Studies show scents shape our perceptions from before birth, influencing relationships and opportunities we don’t even realize. Yet, 70% of U.S. workers^{1https://www.joblist.com/trends/exploring-workplace-hygiene} have worked with a coworker with poor personal hygiene—including body odor and bad breath—with 57% feeling uncomfortable and 41% viewing them negatively. Don’t let awkwardness hold someone back. Here’s how to tell someone they smell in a way that protects their dignity and strengthens your relationship.

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You need to handle conversations about body odor or bad breath with sensitivity and kindness. In the long run, letting someone know they smell, and helping them overcome their odor, can benefit them. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be an awkward conversation.

Use these 4 steps to help you navigate the conversation with compassion.

Why Speaking Up About Scent Is Actually an Act of Kindness

Is it okay to tell people they stink? The short answer: yes—when you do it thoughtfully.

You should tell someone they smell if you genuinely believe it is in their best interest. In many professional and personal settings, smelling bad can negatively impact someone’s opportunities for building relationships or networking.

As leadership expert Brené Brown puts it, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” Avoiding the conversation may feel polite, but it often does more harm than good.

The numbers back this up. A 2021 study found that among adults reporting halitosis (bad breath), 58.8% said it negatively affected their social life, 35.1% avoided close conversations, and 17% reported professional impact. For people with axillary bromhidrosis (body odor), 82.4% reported moderate to severe impairment of social interactions, and 46.7% avoided social activities or relationships altogether.

The person may not realize they are struggling with smell—or may be aware of it and not know how to improve their scent.

People respond differently to scents based on the memories they associate with them. Research shows^{2https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-scents-affect-peoples/} that odor learning begins even before birth. Certain scents may not affect some people as much as they do others. This means someone might genuinely not notice their own smell, even when others do.

Types of Body Odors and Causes

Before you have this conversation, it helps to understand what you’re dealing with. Body odors come in different forms, and each has unique causes:

Bad breath (halitosis) is incredibly common. A 2022 systematic review^{3https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9675208/} found that global prevalence ranges from 2.4% to 76%, with a mean of 31.8%. Causes include poor oral hygiene, certain foods (garlic, onions, coffee), dry mouth, gum disease, or underlying health conditions.

Body odor (bromhidrosis) occurs when bacteria on the skin break down sweat. Prevalence varies significantly by ethnicity due to genetic differences in apocrine glands— approximately 6% in Chinese individuals, up to 90% among Caucasians, and 99% among African Americans^{4https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/srt.13895}.

Other odor sources include:

• Clothing that hasn’t been washed properly
• Strong perfumes or colognes (yes, too much scent is also a “smell” issue)
• Dietary choices
• Medical conditions like diabetes, kidney disease, or hormonal changes
• Mental health challenges that affect self-care routines
• Medications that alter body chemistry

Understanding these causes helps you approach the conversation without assumptions—and with genuine compassion.

Master the 4-Step Formula for a Compassionate Odor Conversation

How do you tactfully tell someone that they smell bad? If you have a coworker, friend, or classmate struggling with body odor, use these steps to tell them directly and kindly.

As Kim Scott, author of Radical Candor, explains: “Radical candor is caring personally and challenging directly.” These steps help you do exactly that.

Step 1: Choose Privacy to Show You Care

Scent can be a sensitive topic. Others may have also noticed this person’s smell. However, this conversation doesn’t need to be a group discussion. Find a quiet and private space to talk with them.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Brittany Pinto notes, “Having difficult conversations about personal habits… can lead to defensiveness, since we often view these things as part of who we are and our identities.”^{5https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-confront-partner-with-poor-hygiene-advice-2023-11} Privacy minimizes defensiveness.

This will minimize the potential embarrassment of the person while emphasizing that you’re approaching them with their best interest in mind.

If you’re a team leader, you may ask them to come to your office. If you’re colleagues or friends, look for an opportunity when the two of you have some privacy.

Then, ask permission to share something. Here are some examples of what you could say:

• “Do you have a quick second to chat? I would love to talk to you about something a little uncomfortable.”
• “I’ve been hoping we’d get a private moment. May I share something with you that might be difficult?”

Step 2: Deliver the Truth with Heart

How do you tell someone they smell without offending them? Be direct—but lead with care.

Some people get anxious when someone asks them to talk. If you see them looking nervous, it’s important to let them know you’re not upset. Instead, you’re looking out for them and want to help them.

Shari Harley, founder of Candid Culture and author of How to Say Anything to Anyone, recommends a simple, direct approach. Her feedback formula^{6https://candidculture.com/ff/} demonstrates it: “I’ve noticed that you have an odor.”

You can frame it this way: “I really care about our working relationship and your success, and I’ve noticed that you have [an odor or bad breath].”

Or, if you’re telling a friend, you could tell them: “I care about you a lot and enjoy spending time with you. I have noticed that you recently had [an odor or bad breath] and wanted to take this chance to chat with you about it.”

While being this direct may feel nerve-wracking, it’s one of the best ways to show that it isn’t that big of a deal. Spending an extra 5 minutes beating around the bush may communicate that you think it’s embarrassing.

Pro Tip: Some people will feel uncomfortable being addressed directly, especially about a sensitive topic like smell. If you know the person well and think they would not like this approach, try sending them an email instead.

Step 3: Explain Why It Matters (With a Compliment Boost)

After telling your colleague they smell, let them know why you’re bringing it up. Affirm that it’s because you care about them.

Employment attorney Jay Rosenlieb advises: “Approach the conversation with a focus on the impact their body odor may have on their work environment and colleagues, rather than making it about the individual themselves.”

Try: “We work so closely together, and I don’t want this to impact you negatively or affect people wanting to work with you. I know this is awkward, but I wanted to let you know privately.”

If speaking with a friend, try saying: “I don’t want that to hinder you from making friends, dating, or finding your dream job. I want what’s best for you.”

Pro Tip: Our brains love compliments! Science shows^{7https://www.cell.com/neuron/fulltext/S0896-6273(08)00266-3} that receiving a compliment activates the same part of the brain as getting a reward. (Note: Link may require direct access)When possible, incorporate a genuine compliment as part of your why. For example: “I don’t want your bad breath to get in the way of your professional opportunities. I enjoy working with you and know others do as well.”

Step 4: Offer Support—If They’re Open

Shari Harley, a corporate speaker, has had this candid conversation about scent many times. She said that, surprisingly, most people suspect they have a bad odor problem but don’t know how to fix it.

If you feel comfortable, consider offering a suggestion. Before doing this, ask if it’s alright with them before giving advice.

Try asking: “I know there can be many reasons for [body odor or bad breath]. Do you know what might be going on, and are there any ways I can come alongside you and help you out?”

Only offer to help if you truly plan to do everything you can to help them. It could damage the relationship if you offer help but aren’t willing to follow through when they give a request.

If they don’t know what to do about their smell, here are a few questions to ask and possible solutions based on their answer:

How often do you wash your clothes?

• You can use my washing machine!
• We can research and find a laundromat near your place.
• Can I recommend my favorite laundry products?

What is your personal hygiene routine?

• Can I get you started with a basket of my favorite personal care items?
• I find taking a daily shower helps me stay smelling fresh.
• I sweat a lot and find this deodorant works best for me.

How often do you brush your teeth?

• I have some gum in my desk drawer. Would you like a piece?
• Do you have a dentist you like? I like mine and would be happy to refer you.
• I like having a mint after a meal. My favorite is Altoids, but I know many people prefer Tic Tacs.

Remember: Wait to offer a solution until the person has told you what they think is the problem. For example, if they say, “I shower twice a week,” you could respond with: “I find taking a daily shower helps me stay smelling fresh.”

Also, some of these solutions, like offering your washing machine, may only be appropriate if you’re close to them.

What’s the toughest convo you’ve had? Share in the comments—we read every one!

Handling Body Odor in the Workplace

How do you tell someone they smell at work? Workplace hygiene conversations require extra care because professional relationships and careers are at stake.

According to that Joblist survey^{7https://www.cell.com/neuron/fulltext/S0896-6273(08)00266-3}, 70% of U.S. workers have encountered a coworker with poor hygiene. This affects team dynamics, productivity, and the individual’s career prospects.

For coworkers: Follow the 4 steps above, emphasizing your professional relationship. Focus on their success, not the discomfort they’re causing others. Try: “I really value working with you, and I noticed something I’d want someone to tell me about…”

For managers addressing employee odor: You have both the responsibility and authority to address this directly. Schedule a private meeting. Document the conversation (for HR purposes, not as a threat). Focus on workplace impact.

When to involve HR: If you’re uncomfortable having the conversation yourself, or if initial conversations haven’t helped, HR can assist. They’re trained in these situations and can ensure the conversation happens appropriately.

Creating a workplace culture: Some organizations include personal hygiene in their dress code policies. Proactive communication prevents awkward one-on-one conversations later.

How to Tell an Employee They Smell

Can you tell an employee they smell? Yes—and sometimes you must.

As a manager, addressing body odor isn’t just about comfort; it’s about supporting your employee’s career. Unaddressed odor issues can prevent promotions, damage client relationships, and isolate team members.

Use this framework:

1. Schedule a private meeting. Never address this in front of others or in passing.
2. Be factual, not emotional. Say: “I’ve noticed a body odor issue that I wanted to bring to your attention.”
3. Focus on professional impact. “In client-facing roles, personal presentation matters. I want to make sure nothing holds you back.”
4. Ask questions, don’t assume. “Is there anything going on that I should know about?” This opens the door for them to share medical issues, personal struggles, or other factors.
5. Offer resources. Your company may have employee assistance programs, flexible schedules for medical appointments, or other support.
6. Follow up. Check in after a week or two. Recognize improvement without making it a big deal.

Sample script for managers:

“Thanks for meeting with me. I wanted to discuss something sensitive, and I hope you know I’m bringing it up because I value your work here. I’ve noticed a body odor issue recently, and I wanted to mention it privately. I know there can be many reasons for this—is there anything you’d like to share? My goal is to make sure you can continue succeeding here without anything getting in the way.”

Legal Considerations and Disabilities

Before having a body odor conversation in a workplace setting, understand the legal landscape.

Medical conditions can cause odor issues. Diabetes, kidney disease, thyroid problems, and certain medications may affect body chemistry. Mental health conditions like depression can impact self-care routines.

Federal law considerations: Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), if an employee’s odor is related to a disability, employers must consider reasonable accommodations. This doesn’t mean you can’t address the issue—but you must do so thoughtfully.

Best practices:

• Focus on the observable issue (the odor), not the assumed cause
• Ask open-ended questions rather than making diagnoses
• Involve HR when medical issues might be involved
• Document conversations professionally
• Never discriminate based on disability or medical condition

When odor relates to cultural practices or religious observances, additional sensitivity is required. Foods, incense, or other practices may be protected.

The key: address the impact professionally while remaining open to accommodations.

Recommended Hygiene Solutions

When someone asks for help, or when you’re ready to offer solutions, here are options to consider:

For bad breath:

• Mouthwash or mouth rinse—62.8% of U.S. adults^{8https://wwwn.cdc.gov/Nchs/Nhanes/2019-2020/OHQ_H.htm} already use these regularly
• Breath fresheners (mints, gum)
• Tongue scraper
• Dental checkup referral (gum disease is a major cause)
• Hydration (dry mouth worsens breath)

For body odor:

• Antiperspirant (reduces sweat) vs. deodorant (masks odor)—know the difference
• Clinical-strength options for excessive sweating
• Antibacterial soap
• Fresh clothing daily
• Breathable fabrics

For clothing odor:

• Regular washing with quality detergent
• Avoiding re-wearing items multiple times
• Proper drying (mildew causes odor)
• Athletic wear requires special care

Professional treatments: The bromhidrosis treatment market^{9https://www.globenewswire.com/news-release/2024/08/19/2932254/0/en/Bromhidrosis-Disease-Treatment-Strategic-Research-Report-2024-Growing-Acceptance-of-Cosmetic-and-Aesthetic-Procedures-Expands-Market-Opportunities-Global-Forecast-to-2030.html} is valued at $756.3 million in 2023, projected to reach $1.2 billion by 2030. Options include prescription antiperspirants, Botox injections, and surgical interventions for severe cases.

3 Pitfalls to Dodge in the Body Odor Chat

Now that you have a general guideline for handling an awkward conversation about an odor with tact, here are a few things to avoid.

Pitfall 1: Never Guess the Reason

There are so many reasons someone may be struggling with smelling bad. There can be medical reasons, financial struggles, physical changes such as puberty, weight gain, mental health challenges, or other factors.

Some people are dealing with depression that makes daily hygiene feel overwhelming. Others may have medical conditions they’re already trying to manage. Still others may simply not have access to laundry facilities or hygiene products.

Regardless of the source of the problem, steer clear of assumptions. This can lead to being very hurtful and lead the person to be unwilling to listen to you. Keep your focus on the observable issue and let them share the why if they choose to.

Pitfall 2: Skip the Gossip Trap

Gossip is when you talk negatively about someone without them knowing. If you gossip about the person, chances are, they’ll find out. At that point, it will be hard to convince them that you sincerely care for them.

If you hear other people gossiping about them and have the opportunity to, let them know in a direct but kind manner that you don’t think it’s appropriate. Try saying: “I don’t feel like this is a constructive or helpful conversation, and I don’t think we need to speak about our colleague behind their back.”

Don’t mention the gossipers when addressing your concerns. The individual you’re talking with will likely feel embarrassed about their scent already. They don’t need to feel like everyone is talking about them behind their back.

Pro Tip: In some workplace dynamics, it may be best to talk with your team leader before conversing with the individual. Find a time to speak with your boss in private. Mention your concerns and ask them how they would like to move forward.

Pitfall 3: Don’t Ghost—Confront Kindly

Although this conversation may feel quite daunting, it’s likely worth it in the long run. If you passively avoid the individual, they’ll probably notice. It could be hurtful if they think you’re avoiding them because you’re upset or dislike them.

It’s better to tackle the conversation head-on. Your relationship—and their future opportunities—will benefit.

Your Ready-to-Use Script for the Scent Talk

Here’s a workplace example to help you piece the steps together and have a constructive and kind conversation!

Charlie and Jake work together, but after lunch, Charlie has a hard time talking to Jake because his breath smells so bad. Charlie noticed other people avoid Jake and doesn’t want Jake’s workplace opportunities to be hindered. He decides to chat with Jake about it.

One morning, he finds a private moment on their way in from the parking lot. As they’re walking, Charlie says: “Hey Jake, I was hoping I’d get the chance to speak with you alone. Is it alright if I mention something to you? It’s a bit of an awkward topic.”

Jake looks confused (and a little stressed) but responds with: “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

“Well, I’ve noticed that after lunch, your breath often smells pretty strong. I wouldn’t bring it up, except that I consider you a friend, and figured I’d want to know if my breath was bad. I just don’t want it to hinder you from making friends in the office. I know you’re still relatively new here.”

Jake looks a bit embarrassed but replies: “Oh, thanks for letting me know. I appreciate you looking out for me. It must be what I’m eating for lunch. Maybe I can get into the habit of carrying gum or a mint.”

Charlie says: “Well, you’re more than welcome to have some of mine. I keep gum in one of my desk drawers at work. My wife tells me I have strong morning breath.”

Notice how, from the beginning, Charlie’s goal is to be a good friend and let Jake know about his bad breath.

He doesn’t make it a bigger deal than it is by getting straight to the point. Instead, he’s able to have a conversation that shows he cares.

Bonus Tip: Do you somehow relate to the person you’re speaking with? Mention that! We’ve all had bad breath or smelled bad at some point. By relating to them, you normalize smell and can offer help from a place of shared experience.

Quick Recap: Nail the Conversation Every Time

When you’re letting someone know they smell, remember to be direct while also being kind and compassionate. As hard as a conversation about odor or bad breath may be, you’re helping them out in the long run.

Keep these steps in mind to tell someone they’re struggling with odor:

• Talk one-on-one. Find a time to talk to the person alone. This will minimize the chances of them feeling embarrassed. Before jumping straight into it, mention that what you want to talk about may be difficult to hear or awkward.
• Get to the point. Once you’ve set the stage, be direct and tell them they’re struggling with body odor. In some instances, the person may have no idea, while in others, they may already know.
• Share that you care. This conversation is likely challenging for both of you. Clearly, you’re only bringing it up because you want the best for them.
• Offer to help. Remember, this step may not be appropriate in every instance. But if you have a strong relationship with the person, ask if they know why they are struggling with body odor and offer to help them.

If you need a boost of confidence as you head into this conversation, check out our article How to Believe in Yourself (and Succeed in Life!).