Learned Helplessness: Signs, Causes & 9 Ways to Regain Control

That sinking feeling that nothing you do will change your situation? Neuroscience has good news: your brain isn’t broken. It’s running outdated software that you can update.

For decades, psychologists believed people learned to feel helpless. But groundbreaking research has flipped this understanding completely. Learned helplessness—that feeling of powerlessness when facing challenges—is actually your brain’s factory setting under stress. The ability to take control is what you can learn.

“If you are struggling, please note that this content is not professional medical advice. Consult a doctor or licensed therapist for questions about your physical or mental health.”

What is Learned Helplessness?

Learned helplessness is a psychological state in which a person believes they have no control over their situation and stops trying to change it. Someone experiencing learned helplessness may feel that their actions don’t matter, leading to passivity even when opportunities for change exist. It’s also known as acquired helplessness or helplessness syndrome.

Psychologists Steven Maier^{1https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=Maier%20SF%5BAuthor%5D}and Martin Selig^{2https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=Seligman%20ME%5BAuthor%5D}man first identified this phenomenon in the late 1960s through experiments with dogs^{3https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fh0024514}Dogs that couldn’t escape mild electric shocks eventually stopped trying—even when escape became possible.

But here’s where it gets interesting.

The Science Got an Update

In 2016, Maier and Seligman revisited their original theory^{4https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4920136/}using modern neuroscience—and discovered they had it backward.

Passivity isn’t learned. It’s the brain’s default response to prolonged stress, triggered automatically by a brain region called the dorsal raphe nucleus. What actually gets learned is control.

When you experience agency over a stressor, your ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC) activates and sends signals that shut down the default passivity response. Maier and Seligman named this the “hope circuit.”

As Maier explained: “Passivity in response to shock is not learned. It is the default, unlearned response to prolonged aversive events… This passivity can be overcome by learning control.”

This distinction matters because it means you’re not damaged for feeling helpless. Your brain simply hasn’t yet learned to activate its control circuits in your current situation.

Signs of Learned Helplessness

The signs of learned helplessness^{4https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4920136/}include passivity when facing challenges, difficulty learning new coping responses, and elevated stress levels. These symptoms often manifest as behavioral patterns that reinforce feelings of helplessness over time. People experiencing learned helplessness often:

• Lack motivation to try new approaches
• Give up quickly when facing obstacles
• Struggle to ask others for help
• Feel pessimistic about achieving goals
• Believe their efforts won’t lead to change
• Experience heightened anxiety about new situations
• Avoid challenges due to fear of failure

How It Overlaps with Depression and Anxiety

Is learned helplessness a form of depression? Not exactly, but they share a close relationship. Learned helplessness and depression share similar symptoms. Both can include:

• Sad or low mood
• Loss of interest in activities
• Changes in weight or appetite
• Sleep disturbances
• Fatigue and low energy
• Feelings of worthlessness
• Difficulty concentrating

Research shows learned helplessness can lead to depression through a specific pathway: when people repeatedly experience lack of control, they develop negative beliefs about their ability to influence outcomes. These beliefs create persistent low mood and withdrawal from activities—the hallmarks of depression. Anxiety often accompanies this pattern, as uncertainty about outcomes creates chronic worry and avoidance behaviors.

What Causes Learned Helplessness?

Learned helplessness typically develops from prolonged exposure^{5https://www.annualreviews.org/doi/pdf/10.1146/annurev.me.23.020172.002203}to stressful or traumatic events that feel uncontrollable. Understanding how learned helplessness develops helps explain why some people are more vulnerable than others.

Trauma and Abuse

Trauma is one of the most significant causes of learned helplessness. When people experience repeated traumatic events—especially during childhood—their brains learn that danger is unpredictable and uncontrollable. This creates a default expectation of powerlessness that can persist long after the trauma ends.

Emotional Neglect

Does emotional neglect create learned helplessness? Research suggests yes. Children whose emotional needs are consistently ignored learn that expressing needs doesn’t lead to comfort or support. This early experience of lack of control over receiving care can establish helplessness patterns that carry into adulthood.

Poverty and Resource Scarcity

Poverty deserves special mention. Research shows that financial scarcity taxes cognitive bandwidth, making it harder to plan and exert control—which can reinforce the cycle of helplessness. When basic needs feel constantly threatened and resources remain out of reach despite effort, the brain learns that striving doesn’t pay off.

Psychological Factors

What psychological factors contribute to learned helplessness? Beyond external circumstances, internal factors play a role. People with low self-esteem, previous experiences of failure, or perfectionistic tendencies may be more susceptible. Additionally, growing up in environments where autonomy wasn’t encouraged can predispose someone to helplessness patterns.

The Role of Explanatory Style (The 3 Ps)

Seligman’s research revealed that how people explain negative events to themselves determines whether they develop learned helplessness. He identified three dimensions of explanatory style, known as the 3 Ps:

Personal

Do you blame yourself or external factors when things go wrong? People prone to helplessness tend toward internal attribution: “I failed because I’m not smart enough” rather than “The test was poorly designed.”

Pervasive

Do you see setbacks as affecting everything or just one area? Helplessness-prone thinking generalizes: “I’m bad at everything” instead of “I struggle with math specifically.”

Permanent

Do you view problems as temporary or lasting forever? Those vulnerable to helplessness see difficulties as unchangeable: “Things will never get better” versus “This is a rough patch.”

When someone explains negative events as personal (“It’s my fault”), pervasive (“It affects everything”), and permanent (“It will never change”), they’re more likely to develop feelings of helplessness and depression. The good news? Explanatory style can be changed through awareness and practice—a key focus of cognitive-behavioral therapy.

Examples of Learned Helplessness

Here are real-world examples of learned helplessness in three common situations.

In Education: Self-Esteem and Shame

What is learned helplessness in children? Students with learned helplessness may see themselves as unable to learn or solve problems. This often stems from repeated criticism, bullying, or shame after making mistakes.

A student who was mocked for wrong answers may stop raising their hand entirely—not because they don’t know the material, but because they’ve learned that trying leads to pain. The stress of these experiences also impairs clear thinking, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In Relationships: Abuse and Domestic Violence

Learned helplessness commonly appears in abuse survivors who have been traumatized into believing they have no options for escape. This pattern is particularly prevalent in domestic violence situations, where victims may stay in dangerous relationships because repeated attempts to leave or change the situation have failed. According to research on domestic violence^{6https://www.domesticviolenceresearch.org}, survivors often describe feeling trapped not by physical barriers but by the psychological belief that nothing they do will improve their circumstances.

It can also develop in codependent relationships where abuse isn’t obvious. People in codependent dynamics often make excuses for others’ behavior, feel manipulated into compliance, and lack boundaries—leaving them feeling obligated without a sense of self.

In the Workplace: Toxic Cultures

According to Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace report^{7https://www.gallup.com/workplace/349484/state-of-the-global-workplace.aspx}, 77% of employees are either disengaged or actively disengaged at work. Micromanagement and poor leadership function like those original electric shocks—teaching employees their efforts don’t matter.

Workplace learned helplessness often develops when employees feel their voice doesn’t count, their effort doesn’t lead to recognition, or someone else controls all outcomes.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness: 9 Evidence-Based Strategies

Can learned helplessness be overcome? Absolutely. Since control is learned (not helplessness), treatment focuses on building agency and resilience through small, achievable experiences of mastery. Here are nine approaches backed by research for how to overcome learned helplessness as an adult.

1. Start with Small Wins

Building a sense of control begins with activities where you can experience success. The goal: activate your brain’s “hope circuit” through achievable victories.

Low-pressure options:

• Complete a puzzle or Sudoku
• Organize one drawer or closet section
• Finish a coloring page
• Play a single-player game you enjoy

Social options (with the right group): Consider hosting a game night with supportive friends. Cooperative games can work well, though choose carefully. Games like Hanabi^{8https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/98778/hanabi} require patience and clear communication—if social anxiety is high, start with solo activities first.

Pro Tip: The activity matters less than the feeling of completion. Pick something where success is within your control.

2. Build Self-Care Habits One at a Time

Self-care rebuilds your sense of agency by proving you can positively influence your own wellbeing. If helplessness has led to depression, build small habits gradually rather than overhauling everything at once.

Morning anchors:

• Make your bed when you wake up
• Wash your face and get dressed (even with nowhere to go)
• Drink a full glass of water

Daily practices:

• Take a 10-minute walk outside
• Care for a plant or pet
• Practice 5 minutes of guided meditation

Weekly connections:

• Call one friend or family member you enjoy
• Attend one therapy session
• Do one activity purely for enjoyment

Once these basics feel stable, expand to monthly practices like massage, exercise classes, or art therapy groups.

3. Practice Acts of Kindness

A 2023 study from Ohio State University^{9https://news.osu.edu/kindness-approach-to-treating-depression-and-anxiety-outperformed-standard-treatments-study-finds/}found that performing acts of kindness was more effective than cognitive reappraisal (a standard therapy technique) for improving social connection in people with depression and anxiety.

Researcher David Cregg noted: “Social connection is one of the ingredients of life most strongly associated with well-being. Performing acts of kindness seems to be one of the best ways to promote those connections.”

Kindness reduces stress^{10https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5508200/}and gives you a sense of agency—you chose to make someone’s day better.

Simple starting points:

• Send a gratitude letter to someone who helped you
• Buy coffee for the person behind you in line
• Volunteer at a local food bank for one shift
• Write a genuine LinkedIn recommendation for a colleague
• Overtip your server without explanation

For more ideas, explore ways to spread kindness.

4. De-stress Through Enjoyable Activities

Prolonged stress exposure is a primary driver of learned helplessness. Breaking the cycle requires intentionally stepping away from stressful environments.

Quick escapes:

• Turn off devices and walk through nature
• Put on favorite music and move around your home
• Bake something and share it with neighbors

Deeper resets:

• Have a meal with a friend who makes you laugh
• Take a weekend trip to somewhere new
• Sign up for a class in something you’ve always wanted to try

If nothing sounds enjoyable: Start with activities you used to enjoy. Even if they don’t spark joy immediately, they may trigger positive memories and begin rebuilding your capacity for pleasure.

5. Create Boundaries or Cut Ties

Unhealthy relationships often sit at the root of learned helplessness. Recognizing when boundaries are needed is the first step toward reclaiming agency. How do you deal with learned helplessness or victim mentality? Often, it starts with protecting yourself from situations that reinforce powerlessness.

Ask yourself:

• Do you have difficulty saying no?
• Do your opinions and needs feel unimportant?
• Do you hide how you really feel?
• Do you fear others’ reactions if you don’t meet their expectations?
• Do you feel obligated to please others and guilty when you don’t?

If you answered yes to several questions—especially if you’re in an abusive situation—it may be time to establish boundaries or end the relationship entirely.

Pro Tip: Boundary setting feels uncomfortable at first. That discomfort is normal and doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. For guidance, explore how to set boundaries.

6. Form Healthy Connections

Building relationships with people who support your agency counteracts the isolation that often accompanies learned helplessness.

Evaluate potential connections by asking:

• Do I feel safe being myself around this person?
• Does this person care about my feelings and ideas?
• Can I say no without feeling guilty?
• Does this person keep confidences?
• Does this person want the best for me, even when it’s inconvenient for them?

If you answer yes to most questions, invest in that relationship. If you answer no to most, revisit the boundary-setting strategies above.

7. Try Rejection Therapy

Getting out of your comfort zone can shift your mindset from powerlessness to possibility. One effective method: rejection therapy^{11https://www.rejectiontherapy.com/100-days-of-rejection-therapy}.

Entrepreneur Jia Jiang spent 100 days deliberately seeking rejection—asking strangers for $100, requesting a “burger refill,” playing soccer in someone’s backyard. His conclusion? “Rejection is just an opinion. It reflects them more than me.”

Rejection therapy works because it applies the principles of exposure therapy: by voluntarily facing what you fear, you desensitize your brain’s threat response and build resilience.

What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang – YouTube^{12https://www.youtube.com/embed/-vZXgApsPCQ?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&autoplay=1}

8. Care for Something Living

Taking care of a plant or animal reduces stress and anxiety^{13https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3408111/} while providing tangible evidence that your actions matter. When you water a plant and watch it grow, or feed a pet and receive affection, you’re training your brain to recognize cause and effect.

Pets offer unconditional positive regard—something often missing for people who’ve experienced criticism or abuse. Plants provide a gentler entry point, with the added symbolism of nurturing growth and pruning what no longer serves.

9. Consider Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective treatments for learned helplessness. CBT helps identify and challenge the thought patterns that maintain helplessness—particularly the pessimistic explanatory style (personal, pervasive, permanent) that Seligman identified.

A therapist can also provide a safe relationship for practicing agency and boundary-setting, while teaching specific skills for building resilience against future setbacks.

Benefits of Gaining Control Over Your Environment

As you build agency through these strategies, research suggests you may experience:

• Reduced anxiety and depression symptoms
• Lower stress levels
• Increased motivation and optimism
• Stronger, healthier relationships
• Greater confidence in facing challenges
• Improved ability to set and achieve goals
• Enhanced resilience when facing future setbacks

The brain’s hope circuit strengthens with use. Each small experience of control makes the next one easier to access.

Want to master the laws of human behavior? Check out our resource:

Learned Helplessness FAQs

What’s the difference between learned helplessness and hopelessness?

Helplessness is believing you personally can’t change a situation. Hopelessness is believing nothing and no one can change it. According to the CDC^{14https://emergency.cdc.gov/cerc/cerccorner/article_042216.asp}, both feelings often occur together, but the distinction matters for treatment—helplessness responds well to building personal agency, while hopelessness may require addressing broader beliefs about the world.

Can therapy help with learned helplessness?

Yes. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective because it helps identify and challenge the thought patterns that maintain helplessness. A therapist can also provide a safe relationship for practicing agency and boundary-setting.

How long does it take to overcome learned helplessness?

There’s no fixed timeline. Building new neural pathways takes repetition and patience. Most people notice shifts within weeks of consistently practicing agency-building activities, though deeper patterns may take months of work with a therapist.

Learned Helplessness Takeaway

1. Understand the science: Learned helplessness is your brain’s default stress response—not a personal failing. Control is what gets learned.
2. Start impossibly small: Make your bed. Complete one puzzle. The goal is activating your hope circuit, not achieving perfection.
3. Practice kindness: Helping others builds social connection and proves your actions create positive change.
4. Set one boundary: Even a small boundary teaches your brain that your needs matter.
5. Seek support: A therapist, supportive friend, or even a pet can provide the safe relationship needed to practice agency.
6. Be patient with yourself: You’re literally rewiring neural pathways. Progress isn’t linear, and setbacks don’t erase gains.

For more on building a fulfilling life through evidence-based strategies, explore the Harvard study on happiness and what 80 years of research reveals about what actually matters.

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