The Alpha Female: 15 Signs You Can Tell Who is Alpha

Are you a natural-born leader who others gravitate toward? Do people frequently seek out your advice or opinion? Perhaps you’ve been called “bossy” or “intimidating” when you were simply being assertive.

You might just be an alpha female.

But what exactly defines an alpha female personality? What makes these women stand out in a crowd, and how can you tell if you or someone you know fits the definition of an alpha female? Let’s explore the science and characteristics behind these powerful women.

What is an Alpha Female?

An alpha female is a naturally strong woman who leads with confidence, purpose, and influence. She’s characterized by her assertiveness, resilience, and ability to inspire others through both strength and emotional intelligence.

Female alphas embrace their leadership with an almost magnetic quality that draws others into their orbit. An alpha female typically:

• Believes her potential is boundless, refusing to accept artificial limitations
• Navigates social and professional landscapes with strategic confidence
• Inspires loyalty through a blend of competence and authentic connection
• Commands respect without demanding it, creating natural followership
• Sets ambitious goals that others might consider unreachable
• Makes decisions with conviction, owning both successes and failures

Fun fact: The concept of “alpha” originated in wildlife research, where scientists identified that a single dominant animal—usually male—led a pack. 

Today, this term has evolved dramatically, becoming a popular term to describe a person who possesses a constellation of behavioral and personality traits generally associated with leadership, assertiveness, and influence. 

But don’t let its connotation with masculinity fool you: alpha females have been shaping human societies since our earliest civilizations, from powerful queens and warriors to revolutionary thinkers and modern executives. 

So without further ado, let’s jump into 15 tell-tale signs that someone is an alpha female!

15 Signs You Can Tell Who is an Alpha Female

They Offer Fearless Leadership

In a recent study^{1https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1548051810368681}, researchers developed a 14-item questionnaire to measure the alpha female personality. They looked at qualities such as self-esteem, emotional intelligence, leadership, gender ideals, and extroversion. 

They found that alpha females embrace their leadership role and tendencies. No reluctant leaders here! Why does reluctance matter? A woman can be in a leadership role and not embrace it. This doesn’t make her any more or less of a leader, but it does mark her as a non-alpha female.

Look at the differences in these self-identifying statements.

A reluctant female leader might say…

• I’m not sure if I belong in this leadership role.
• I don’t know how to lead.
• I don’t know enough / earn enough / do enough to lead well.

A fearless alpha female might say…

• I know I can inspire others.
• I love being a leader.
• I know I can make a great impact in this world.

Many of the alpha females in the study described a level of comfort and relative advantage in the role of Alpha Female. In other words, they believe their alpha-ness works for them—and they make it so.

If you want to learn more about embracing female leadership, check out our article: Female Leadership: 12 Strategies & Why It’s Important.

They Possess High Emotional Intelligence

Researchers also found that alpha females have extremely high emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence (aka EQ or EI) is our ability to:

• recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions
• recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others
• be aware that emotions can drive our behavior and impact people (positively and negatively)

Because alpha females have such high emotional intelligence, they often serve as social lubricators and business mediators. 

Often, alpha females are able to bring social ease to a group. They tell jokes. They start conversations. They introduce people. They smooth over business disagreements and take charge.

Want to improve your own emotional intelligence? We’ve got you covered: How to Improve Emotional Intelligence in 5 Steps.

They Are Obsessive Learners

In another study^{2https://scholarworks.waldenu.edu/dissertations/1521/}, researchers found that a common theme among veteran alpha female leaders was the importance of continuous learning. One hundred percent of the female leaders involved in the study expressed appreciation for their ability to learn to face challenges, learn from experience, or learn from others. 100%! Alpha females prioritize their learning. They:

• read constantly—books about what they do AND books in subjects completely new to them.
• dive deep into their expertise. They like to be experts.
• learn about new fields, research and topics.
• take professional development courses to further their development.
• ask questions.
• learn from their experiences.

Another aspect of obsessive learning is that alpha females also embrace learning from their challenges. 

The ability to learn from our obstacles is a skill. 

Many of the alpha females found that their challenges were actually instrumental toward shaping their experience and talents.

They Are Strong

I was surprised when I discovered this quality listed in the research. Of course I knew alpha females had to be strong, but I didn’t necessarily equate that with female toughness. One of the questionnaires asked alpha females if they agreed with the following statements:

___ I consider myself tough.

___ I am stronger than most girls I know.

___ I enjoy athletics and physical activity.

It seems mental strength is related to physical strength. This could be a side door into more alpha-ness. Want to feel more mentally tough? Maybe it’s time to join a bootcamp. Wish you had a thicker skin? Go lift some weights!

Remember: alpha female-ness is not a binary (either you are or you aren’t); it’s more of a spectrum. Some women have a high tendency to be alpha. They enjoy social conducting: being the leader and/or the center of attention. Some women only like being alpha females in their home, not in their business environment.

Pro Tip: Whether you’re an alpha female or know someone who is, the truth is there are so many different people out there. How do we truly get to know someone beyond the surface? Check out the ultimate course:

They Are Sought Out

Do people constantly ask your opinion? Are you the go-to person in your group of friends? Do you give advice? Researchers found that alpha females are often put in a position of mentorship, whether they like it or not. People seek their guidance. People ask them for advice. People put them in leadership positions.

Alpha females are sought out for their help.

Alpha females also seek out ways to help.

The research also found that the majority of the female leaders reported feeling an internal satisfaction in being able to give back to others. They mentored, volunteered, and gave back to the people around them.

They Are Highly Ambitious

I was very inspired while reading the studies on alpha females. Alpha females feel their ambition is limitless; that the bounds of their success do not exist; that they could achieve anything. How incredible! This doesn’t mean that alphas have to go it alone. In fact, quite the contrary. Many of the veteran alpha female leaders discussed the essential influential factor of having emotional support from others. And this external support didn’t have to come from a traditional two-parent home or immediate family.

Ambitious alpha females:

• seek out mentors
• seek out challenges
• look for new opportunities
• want more — more income, more chances, more from life

The research also found that the alpha females who self-identified as leaders felt a sense of personal charisma and empowerment. And, luckily, these traits can and should be learned (see the importance of learning in Sign #3).

They Leverage Their Alpha Edge with Purposeful Reflection

Alpha female traits like ambition and confidence are honed through practice, just like any other skill. The top alpha females regularly pause to assess their strengths and impact. Want to amplify your alpha-ness?

Try this: Set aside 10 minutes weekly to reflect on one win (e.g., a project you nailed) and one challenge (e.g., a tough convo). Write down what worked, what didn’t, and one action to level up. This sharpens your self-awareness—a core alpha trait—and keeps your leadership game strong.

They Love Their Parents

A study^{3https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.12806/v7/i3/rf2/full/html} found that the family situations and early socialization of alpha females mattered. Their relationship with their parents was strong, especially with their mothers. This makes sense — when women come from a strong, solid family foundation, they feel they have more courage to venture out. A motherly female role model (whether the mother was alpha or not) also gives encouragement to a budding alpha personality.

You might be wondering if alpha-ness is nature or nurture? The answer is still unclear. The research indicates many alpha qualities can emerge early, but most attributes take time to develop.

They Cultivate Harmony

In the book The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, she discusses the evolutionary and biological importance for females to get along and keep harmony in a group. 

From a very young age girls are taught—far more than boys–to share, cooperate, and play fair. Girls get very good at reading others’ emotions and adapting to the tone of a group. Alpha females actually make it easier for a group of girls to interact because there is one unspoken leader. This leader sets the tone for the group and allows girls to get along without having a power struggle. In this way, alpha females are often social conductors.

Some other interesting alpha female phenomena I personally have noticed:

• Alpha females are social conductors; non-alpha females are her orchestra.

The next time you are at a party or networking event, try this fascinating experiment: find a group of three or more women. You do not need to be close enough to hear them; they just should be in your line of sight. Put a five-minute timer on your phone or watch and take note of the direction of the women’s feet. Almost always, women point their feet toward the person they are most interested in or who they feel is leading the group’s tempo. In only five minutes you will be able to see where the majority of the women are pointing their feet. Amazingly, you will notice that most of the women in the group will be pointing toward the same woman—even if they are in a circle, and even if that woman is not talking.

• When the alpha female leaves, a social vacuum is created.

Another way you can spot the alpha female of a group is by watching how each group member exits. When non-alphas leave the group nothing much happens—conversation continues, the gap closes and group members move on. However, when THE alpha female (and there can only be one, see below for details) leaves, you will see something odd happen. Either conversation stops completely and the group members look around expectantly for a new alpha, or the group disperses.

• There can be only one alpha female per cluster.

What happens when two alpha females are in the same office? One word: Disaster. Or, maybe two words: Disaster and Drama. The alpha female with the higher degree of alpha-ness usually takes charge and the second alpha female backs down. Well, she seethes, plots revenge, and then backs down. In social groups, most of the female drama comes when two alpha females are competing to be the social conductor and non-alpha females (or alpha females to a lesser degree) are not sure who to follow.

• But…there must be at least one alpha female.

Oddly, there must only be one alpha female, but there also must be AT LEAST one. We all have experienced (whether we knew it or not) a group without an alpha female. We might describe it as “awkward,” “weird,” or “boring.” This is because, in a group of women with very low alpha female tendencies, no one is sure how to act, what to talk about, or what the social pace is. Alpha females actually have the very important role of social lubrication.

They Have Exceptional Confidence

The alpha woman considers herself equal to her peers and believes her ability to achieve success is limitless. Many alpha women are able to maintain high achievement in educational and career endeavors, and have demonstrated more ambition than the traditional female leader.

Confidence is contagious. With this confidence comes a kind of contagion. If you ever are observing an alpha female in a group, you will notice that the entire group is taking social cues from her. The other women might hold their body like she does. They might talk in the same voice tone. They might even laugh for the same amount of time as the alpha does.

Special Note: Alpha females might not have constant confidence. Every person has moments of doubt or insecurity. Alpha females are able to feel those thoughts, fight them, and move on.

They Make Decisive Choices Without Apology

Alpha females don’t waffle or second-guess their decisions once made. They assess situations quickly, gather necessary information, and then act decisively. This doesn’t mean they never make mistakes—they absolutely do—but they don’t waste time in analysis paralysis.

When an alpha female makes a choice, she owns it completely, without the qualifiers or apologies that often creep into female communication patterns.

A non-alpha might say: “I’m sorry, but I think maybe we should consider trying this approach?”

An alpha female says: “I’ve evaluated our options. We’re going with Plan B. Here’s why.”

This decisiveness extends beyond work into all areas of life—from choosing restaurants to making major life changes.

They Command Attention Without Demanding It

Walk into any room with an alpha female, and you’ll notice how attention naturally flows her way without her having to seek it. You might call it aura. 

Alpha females have mastered the art of controlling their body language to project confidence. They:

• Stand tall with open posture
• Make direct eye contact
• Use purposeful gestures
• Speak at a measured pace with appropriate volume
• Hold their ground spatially

They’re also skilled at the strategic use of silence—knowing when not speaking actually gives their words more weight. 

They Set Healthy Boundaries

One of the most defining characteristics of an alpha female is her ability to establish and maintain clear boundaries—both personally and professionally.

Alpha females understand that their time and energy are finite resources, and they guard them accordingly. They have no problem saying no to requests that don’t align with their priorities or values. When they do say yes, they fully commit.

This boundary-setting extends to relationships as well. An alpha female won’t tolerate disrespect or manipulation, and she’s quick to address behavior that crosses her lines.

They Champion Other Women

Unlike the outdated stereotype of the cutthroat female boss, authentic alpha females excel at lifting other women up, not tearing them down. They understand that true power comes not from hoarding opportunities, but from creating them for others.

Alpha females are often found:

• Mentoring younger women in their field
• Highlighting female colleagues’ achievements in meetings
• Creating networks and communities for women to thrive
• Advocating for female-friendly policies in their organizations
• Sharing their platform with emerging female voices

They do this not just out of altruism, but because they recognize that a rising tide lifts all boats. When more women succeed, it creates a positive feedback loop that benefits everyone, including the alpha female herself.

They Remain Authentic in All Circumstances

A true alpha female is committed to authenticity. Unlike those who shape-shift to please others, alpha females maintain their core identity regardless of the situation.

This doesn’t mean they’re inflexible—they can certainly adapt their communication style to different contexts. But they never compromise their values or pretend to be someone they’re not to gain approval.

This authenticity breeds trust. 

When an alpha female speaks her truth, even when it’s unpopular, people respect her for it. When she admits a mistake or shows vulnerability from a place of strength, it actually enhances rather than diminishes her authority.

Want to harness the power of influence like an alpha? Try these proven strategies:

Advantages and Disadvantages of Being an Alpha Female

Like any personality type, being an alpha female comes with both benefits and challenges. Understanding these can help alpha females maximize their strengths while mitigating potential pitfalls.

Advantages of Being an Alpha Female

1. Natural leadership opportunities: Alpha females often find themselves offered leadership roles without having to pursue them actively.
2. Strong support networks: Their ability to connect authentically with others often results in loyal, supportive relationships.
3. Resilience in the face of challenges: The alpha female’s confidence and determination make her particularly well-equipped to handle setbacks.
4. Clear sense of purpose: Most alpha females have a strong internal compass that guides their decisions and priorities.
5. Ability to effect change: Their persuasive abilities and determination make them powerful change agents in both personal and professional spheres.

Disadvantages of Being an Alpha Female

1. Misinterpretation of assertiveness: What alpha females see as confidence and clarity may be misinterpreted as aggression or bossiness by others.
2. Relationship challenges: Some partners may feel intimidated by an alpha female’s strength and independence.
3. Perfectionism and burnout: The high standards alpha females set for themselves can lead to perfectionism and eventual burnout if not managed.
4. Loneliness at the top: Being the decision-maker and strength for others can sometimes feel isolating.
5. Societal pushback: Despite progress, society still sometimes penalizes women who display traditionally masculine traits like assertiveness and ambition.

Research^{4https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2026443119} indicates that women in leadership positions often face what’s called the “double bind”—being perceived as either competent but cold, or likable but less competent. Alpha females must navigate this challenge carefully.

Pro Tip: For alpha females struggling with how others perceive their assertiveness, try the “compliment sandwich” technique. When giving criticism or direction, start with authentic positive feedback, deliver your critiqued point, then end with encouragement. This approach preserves your directness while softening potential resistance!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About Alpha Females

Embracing Your Alpha Female Power

Whether you identify as an alpha female or simply admire their qualities, there’s much to be learned from the alpha female personality. These women exemplify what’s possible when confidence, emotional intelligence, and purpose align.

The key traits that define alpha females include:

• Natural leadership abilities that others gravitate toward
• High emotional intelligence that helps navigate complex social situations
• Continuous learning and growth mindsets
• Physical and mental strength that provides resilience
• The confidence to remain authentic in all circumstances
• The ability to set clear boundaries without apology

Remember that alpha-ness exists on a spectrum. You might display these traits in some areas of your life and not others. The goal isn’t to check every box on the alpha female definition list, but to recognize and develop the alpha qualities that align with your authentic self.

Are you curious about what being an alpha looks like on the other side of the gender spectrum now? Check out: 20 Signs of a Respectable Alpha Male (With Real-Life Examples).