Well, the holidays are here and before you know it, you’ll be forced to sit down with all of the people in your life who have no filter. That’s why I put this handy little Thanksgiving dinner seating chart together. Now you can know in advance exactly what you’re in for.



The turkey is lucky it gets to be dead.

The Definitive Thanksgiving Family Dinner Seating Chart

Main Table:
1. Your mom who constantly tells you you’ve gotten too skinny
2. Your grandma who has recently developed serious flatulence problems
3. You
4. Your sister’s husband who always spits a little food whenever he asks you to pass something.
5. Your sister who constantly tells you you’ve gotten too fat
6. Your dad who lists all of the things he accomplished by the time he was your age
7. Your brother who has accomplished everything your father has and more
8. Your brother’s latest girlfriend whose nipples are unusually hard for the temperature of the room
9. Your aunt who keeps catching you glancing at your brother’s girlfriend’s nipples
10. Your grandpa who just keeps yelling “WHAT?!” even though no one is talking to him

Kids Table:
1. Your sister’s twin daughter, Kimberly. Or is that one Karen?
2. Your sister’s other twin daughter, Karen. Or is that one Kimberly?
3. Your divorced brother’s kid who you only see at Thanksgiving every other year
4. Your uncle who pissed your aunt off by staring at your brother’s girlfriend’s nipples earlier

This guest post is by Max Miller with Ruin My Week. Be sure to follow him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest

About Vanessa Van Edwards

About Vanessa Van Edwards

Lead Investigator, Science of People

I'm the author of the national bestselling book Captivate, creator of People School, and behavioral investigator.

I’ve always wanted to know how people work, and that’s what Science of People is about. What drives our behavior? Why do people act the way they do? And most importantly, can you predict and change behavior to be more successful? I think the answer is yes. More about Vanessa.

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