What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say: 55 Responses

What do you say in one of these awkward situations:

• Someone just overshared and told you waaaaay too much information
• Someone told you their family member passed away
• Someone went off on a tangent, and now you are both staring at each other without knowing what to say

Whether you’re tongue-tied, nervous, or having a “brain fart,” knowing what to say in uncomfortable conversations is an important social skill. Though you may be cringing internally, these are crucial moments for exuding kindness, confidence, and charisma. Here are 55 things to say when you don’t know what to say. 

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Why Don’t I Know What to Say? (The Psychology Behind it)

Before diving into specific responses, it’s helpful to understand why we sometimes struggle to find the right words. Research shows that several psychological factors contribute to these “blank mind” moments:

• Cognitive overload: When we’re processing too much information at once, our brain can temporarily shut down its speech centers
• Fear of judgment: Worry about saying the “wrong thing” can prevent us from saying anything at all. Fear of judgment is all too common; if it’s something that affects you, check out our article on how to Stop Caring What People Think of You in 7 Steps.
• Emotional overwhelm: Strong emotions can interfere with our ability to formulate coherent thoughts

Studies^{1https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03634523.2014.978795} indicate that preparing responses ahead of time can significantly reduce this conversational anxiety. When you have a mental “script” ready, your brain doesn’t have to work as hard to generate an appropriate response in the moment.

What to Say When Navigating Everyday Awkward Moments

There are plenty of awkward moments in everyday conversations, but the best conversationalists can knock conversation curveballs out of the park with confidence, empathy, and charisma. Next time you struggle with what to say, try these simple responses to difficult situations.

What to Say During an Awkward Silence

Despite being a completely normal part of conversation, awkward silences can feel excruciating. Here are some natural ways to break the ice and keep the conversation flowing:

• The tangent approach: “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you about…”
• The compliment bridge: “I’ve been meaning to tell you—I really like your approach to [topic].”
• The curiosity spark: “This reminds me, what’s your take on [related subject]?”
• The shared observation: “Have you noticed [something in the environment]?”
• The honest reset: “Sorry, I completely lost my train of thought there. What were we talking about?”

For a deeper connection, ask story-generating questions instead of “yes/no” questions:

• “Anyways, I heard that you are working on [project]. How is that going?” 
• “What’s something you love doing that you wish you had more time for?”
• “That’s so cool you play/do [hobby]. How did you get started?”
• “If you had an entire weekend to spend however you wanted, what would you do?”
• “Where did you learn to [skill]?”

Pro Tip: Keep a mental list of 2-3 open-ended questions related to your conversation partner’s interests. These can be lifesavers during conversation lulls.

Learn more in our full guide on Awkward Silence: Make the Most Of It or Get Rid Of It.

What to Say When Someone Thanks You

It always feels good to be appreciated. But if you are prone to people pleasing or feel awkward accepting praise, you may not know how to respond to genuine thankfulness.

Accepting gratitude gracefully is an underrated social skill. Your response should match the level of thanks being offered:

For casual thanks:

• “Happy to help!”
• “No problem at all.”
• “My pleasure!”

For deeper gratitude:

• “I’m really glad I could be there for you.”
• “That means a lot to hear. Thank you for telling me.”
• “I appreciate you acknowledging that—I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

Pro Tip: Avoid diminishing your contribution with phrases like “it was nothing” when someone is expressing sincere gratitude.

What to Say When Someone Apologizes

How you respond to an apology can either heal or deepen a rift. Your response should reflect both the severity of the situation and your relationship with the person:

For minor incidents:

• “It’s completely fine, don’t worry about it.”
• “No harm done!”
• “I appreciate you saying that—we’re all good.”

For more significant issues:

• “Thank you for acknowledging that. I appreciate your apology.”
• “I accept your apology. Let’s move forward from here.”
• “That means a lot to hear. I needed that.”

When you need more time:

• “I appreciate you apologizing. I need some time to process everything, but it helps to hear you say that.”

Do you need to apologize for something yourself? Read our guide on the ​​7 Elements of a Sincere Apology (And How to Offer One).

What to Say When Someone Brings Up an Inappropriate Topic

Sometimes conversations veer into uncomfortable territory. Here’s how to redirect gracefully:

• The gentle boundary: “I’m not really comfortable discussing that topic. How about we talk about [alternative]?”
• The topic shift: “That reminds me of something completely different I wanted to ask you about…”
• The humorous deflection: “Well, that’s quite a conversation starter! Speaking of starters, have you tried that new restaurant downtown?”
• The direct approach: “I’d prefer not to discuss politics/religion/etc. in this setting. How’s your [neutral topic] going?”

Pro Tip: Practice these phrases ahead of time so they sound natural rather than awkward when you need them.

What to Say When You Want to Exit a Conversation

Ending a conversation gracefully is an art. Here’s how to do it without seeming rude:

• The honest time constraint: “I’ve enjoyed chatting, but I should get going—I have [commitment] soon.”
• The connection closer: “It’s been great catching up! Let’s continue this conversation [specific future time].”
• The introduction bridge: “Before I go, have you met [person nearby]? You two might enjoy talking about [shared interest].”
• The gratitude exit: “Thanks so much for sharing your insights on [topic]. You’ve given me a lot to think about!”
• The bathroom break: “Would you excuse me for a moment? I need to use the restroom.” (This provides a natural break point)

Pro Tip: Always end with appreciation for the conversation; it leaves a positive final impression.

For the ultimate guide on conversational exits, check out: 62 Ways to Politely End a Conversation In ANY Situation

What To Say When Someone Shares News

What to Say When Someone Shares That a Person Passed Away

There is no way to truly comfort someone after losing a loved one. But you can do your best by offering genuine support without empty platitudes:

• “I’m so sorry for your loss. [Name] was a wonderful person.”
• “My heart goes out to you and your family during this difficult time.”
• “I’m here for you if you need anything—whether it’s talking or just sitting quietly together.”
• “Would it help to share some memories of them? I’d love to hear about the times you cherished together.”
• “There are no right words, but please know I care deeply and am here for you.”

Pro Tip: Avoid saying anything that might trigger a deeper emotional wound or demonstrate that you don’t care. Do NOT:

• DON’T compare grief: “I remember when my grandpa died….”
• DON’T try to make sense of it: “Everything happens for a reason.”
• DON’T say they’re strong: “You are so strong.” (This is praising their emotional containment and can make them feel weaker when they are vulnerable)
• DON’T give advice: “You should….”

What to Say When Someone Shares Bad News

Bad news comes in many forms, from job losses to health concerns. Your response should show empathy while acknowledging the uniqueness of their situation:

• “I’m sorry you’re going through this. That sounds really tough.”
• “Thank you for trusting me with this. How are you feeling about it?”
• “That’s a lot to handle. Is there anything I can do to support you right now?”
• “I’m here to listen if you want to talk more about it, or we can talk about something else if you prefer.”
• “That’s really challenging news. How are you taking care of yourself through this?”

Pro Tip: Ask specific questions about how someone is coping, which can show more genuine concern than offering general sympathies.

What to Say When Someone Is Sick

When someone shares they’re unwell, your response should balance concern with respect for their privacy:

• “I’m sorry to hear that. How serious is it, if you don’t mind me asking?”
• “That sounds difficult. How are you managing day to day?”
• “Is there anything practical I can help with while you’re recovering?”
• “I’m thinking of you and wishing you a smooth recovery.”
• “Would it be helpful if I researched some resources about this condition?”

Pro Tip: If you’re close enough, offer specific help rather than saying “let me know if you need anything.” For example, “Can I drop off some groceries or meals this week?”

What to Say When Someone Is Having a Bad Day

For those everyday struggles, a supportive response can make all the difference:

• “That sounds frustrating. Do you want to talk about it or would you prefer a distraction?”
• “Days like that are the worst. What would help right now—venting, problem-solving, or maybe just a funny video to lighten the mood?”
• “I’ve had days like that too. What’s one small thing that might make today a bit better?”
• “That’s rough. Sometimes small things can pile up and feel overwhelming. I’m here for you.”
• “Would a virtual coffee break help? We could chat for 15 minutes if you need a mental reset.”

Pro Tip: Match your energy level to theirs initially, then gradually try to lift their spirits if appropriate. Here are 76 Ways to Comfort Someone When They’re Feeling Down.

What to Say When Someone Just Had a Baby

New parenthood is both exciting and overwhelming. Here’s how to respond supportively:

• “Congratulations! How are you feeling?”
• “What a beautiful baby! Are you getting any rest?”
• “I’d love to drop off a meal next week—would Tuesday or Thursday work better?”
• “Those first weeks can be an adjustment. Is there anything specific you need right now?”
• “I’m so happy for your family. When you’re ready for visitors, I’d love to meet the little one, but absolutely no pressure!”

Pro Tip: Are you or your loved one expecting? Check out our guide on 32 Parenting Tips & Advice To Succeed For New Parents.

What to Say When Someone Is Getting Married

Engagement announcements deserve enthusiastic responses:

• “That’s wonderful news! How did the proposal happen?”
• “I’m so happy for you both! Have you started thinking about what kind of wedding you want?”
• “Congratulations! What are you most excited about for this new chapter?”
• “Your relationship has always been an inspiration. I’m thrilled you’re taking this next step!”
• “What fantastic news! I’d love to hear the story behind the proposal when you have time.”

Pro Tip: Even if you have concerns about the relationship, an engagement announcement is not the time to voice them. Keep responses positive.

What to Say When Someone Shares Good News

When someone shares positive news, it is the perfect opportunity to celebrate their achievements and join in on the positive energy. You can say: 

• “That’s fantastic! Tell me all the details—I want to hear everything!”
• “You absolutely deserve this after all your hard work. I’m thrilled for you!”
• “This calls for a celebration! How are you planning to mark this achievement?”
• “I’m not even surprised—you’ve been working toward this for so long. Congratulations!”
• “I’m so proud of you and all you’ve accomplished!”

Pro Tip: Learning what to say during awkward moments can go a long way in boosting your charisma. But are you looking for more tips to captivate everyone you meet? Check out:

What to Say in Professional and Social Settings

What to Say to Get Past Small Talkw

To create meaningful connections, you need to move beyond weather and work discussions:

• “What’s been keeping you busy outside of work lately?”
• “What’s something you’re excited about in your life right now?”
• “I’ve been trying to [new activity/hobby] recently. Have you ever explored anything like that?”
• “What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned recently?”
• “If you had a free day with no obligations, how would you spend it?”

Pro Tip: Asking follow-up questions can make you more likable and create deeper connections.

What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say in an Interview

Interviews can be high-pressure situations where it’s easy to draw a blank. Here’s how to handle those moments:

• “That’s a thoughtful question. Let me take a moment to consider my response…”
• “I haven’t encountered that specific situation before, but here’s how I would approach it…”
• “I’d like to clarify the question to make sure I’m addressing what you’re most interested in. Are you asking about…?”
• “I don’t have direct experience with that, but I’m eager to learn. How does your team typically handle such situations?”
• “That’s an interesting perspective I hadn’t considered. Could you tell me more about how that applies in this role?”

Pro Tip: Here’s what NOT to say when you draw a blank in an interview: 8 Things You Should Never Say in An Interview.

What to Say When Your Boss Asks for Feedback

When a manager asks for feedback from their team members, it’s usually a green flag that they are trying to improve their leadership skills. But it can be awkward if you don’t know how to respond.

Depending on their performance, feel free to respond with constructive criticism about something on your mind. Alternatively, you can compliment them if they are doing a great job. Try saying: 

• “I appreciate you asking. One thing I’ve noticed that works really well is… Something that might be even more effective is…”
• “Thanks for being open to input. From my perspective, the team would benefit from…”
• “I’ve been thinking about this since you asked. Would you like my thoughts on the project overall or something specific?”
• “I value how you’ve approached [specific situation]. One thing that might help us improve further is…”
• “I’m still formulating my complete thoughts on this. Could I have until tomorrow to provide more thorough feedback?”

Pro Tip: When giving feedback to superiors, the classic “sandwich approach” (positive-improvement-positive) tends to be well-received.

What to Say When You Want to Be Funny

Humor has been scientifically shown to make you more likable. When people don’t know what to say in a difficult or awkward situation, a quirky or silly response can diffuse tension and build rapport. But it’s most effective when it feels natural:

• “Well, that’s one way to make a Tuesday interesting!”
• “If this were a movie, this would definitely be the part where the montage music starts playing.”
• “I’m having one of those days where my brain is buffering at 2% connectivity.”
• “I’m operating at about 60% capacity today, so please adjust your expectations accordingly.”
• “I tried to come up with a clever comment, but my wit is on backorder. Can I offer you a friendly smile instead?”

Pro Tip: Self-deprecating humor (when not overdone) tends to be the safest form of humor in mixed company. For more, read our full guide on 140 Funny Things to Say In ANY Situation. 

What to Say at a Networking Event

Networking can be the bane of your existence or a grand opportunity to level up your career and business. The difference lies in how you engage with others. Pro networkers make unique first impressions and ask questions that spark interesting discussions. Instead of asking, “How are you?” or “What do you do,” try these conversation starters:

• “What’s been the most interesting part of this event for you so far?”
• “What projects are you most excited about in your work right now?”
• “How did you get started in your field?”
• “What’s changing in your industry that you find most interesting?”
• “Beyond the typical job description, what does your day-to-day actually look like?”

Pro Tip: Learn more with our guide on How to Network at a Conference: 10 Ways to Make Contacts Like a Pro.

What to Say When You’re Talking to a Stranger

When we’re kids, parents warn us of “stranger danger,” but as adults, you have to talk to strangers nearly every day at work, coffee shops, parties, and out in public. How do you approach somebody and start a conversation without feeling awkward or creepy? You can say:

• “I noticed your [item/accessory]. Is there a story behind it?”
• “I’m [your name]. What brings you to this [event/place]?”
• “I’m trying to meet some new people here. What’s your connection to this [event/group]?”
• “That [food/drink] looks great. Would you recommend it?”
• “I’m new to [this place/group]. How long have you been involved?”

Pro Tip: Start with an observation about the shared environment—it’s the most natural conversation entry point. For more tips, check out How to Talk to Strangers Like a Pro (& Avoid Awkwardness).

What to Say When Someone Insults You

If someone openly insults you, the shame, embarrassment, or awkwardness of the situation can make it hard to know what to say back. If you want to avoid conflict, it’s typically best to stay calm and respond in one of these ways: 

• Say nothing: Sometimes, the best response is to say nothing so you don’t give a bullying person the satisfaction of hurting your feelings.
• “I’m not sure how to take that comment. Could you clarify what you meant?”
• “That’s an interesting perspective. I see things differently.”
• “I’d prefer if you didn’t speak to me that way.”
• “Let’s take a step back. I feel like this conversation is heading in an unproductive direction.”
• “I don’t think that comment was necessary. Can we refocus on [original topic]?”

Pro Tip: When in doubt, a witty response is an easy way to disarm someone throwing insults and ensure that you don’t take their rudeness personally. Here’s a primer on how to Be an Expert at Witty Banter.

What to Say When Someone Compliments You

Social scientists have found that expressing a compliment provides just as much joy for the compliment giver as it does for the recipient. However, receiving compliments can be hard for people with low self-esteem, social anxiety, or perfectionist tendencies. Demonstrate your thanks for a compliment by saying:

• “Thank you! That means a lot coming from you.”
• “I really appreciate you noticing that. I put a lot of effort into it.”
• “What a kind thing to say—thank you for brightening my day.”
• “Thanks for that! I’m still working on improving, but it’s nice to know I’m on the right track.”
• “Thank you—I’d love to hear more about your experience with [related topic].”

Pro Tip: Resist the urge to deflect or diminish compliments; simply saying “thank you” honors both the giver and receiver.

What to Say When Someone Is Irritating You

When someone is getting under your skin, addressing it tactfully can prevent bigger conflicts:

• “I notice I’m feeling a bit frustrated. Could we approach this differently?”
• “I value our relationship, which is why I wanted to mention that when [specific behavior happens], I find it challenging because…”
• “I need a moment to collect my thoughts. Can we pause briefly?”
• “I’ve noticed a pattern in our interactions that I’d like to discuss. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
• “I understand you might not realize this, but when [behavior occurs], it affects me by…”

Pro Tip: Using “I” statements focuses on your experience rather than placing blame, which typically leads to more productive conversations.

What to Say in Romantic and Relationship Situations

What to Say If Someone Expresses Feelings for You (And You Don’t Share Them)

Dealing with unrequited love can be one of your most awkward conversations. But it is also a big test of your emotional intelligence. 

You have to clarify that you aren’t interested, but you must communicate it delicately so you don’t hurt someone’s feelings severely. If you don’t know what to say, try responding with:

• “I’m really flattered, and I value our friendship immensely. I don’t share those feelings romantically, but you’re important to me.”
• “Thank you for having the courage to share that with me. I don’t feel the same way, but I have tremendous respect for you.”
• “I appreciate your honesty. I don’t see us that way, but I hope we can continue to have a meaningful friendship.”
• “That takes a lot of bravery to share. I don’t feel a romantic connection, but I think you’re a wonderful person.”
• “I’m honored that you feel that way. I don’t share those romantic feelings, but I care about you as a friend and don’t want that to change.”

Pro Tip: Be clear but kind, and avoid phrases like “right now” or “at this time” if you don’t anticipate your feelings changing, as these can create false hope.

What to Say When Your Significant Other Is Upset

When your partner is upset, you can feel at a loss for words. Whether they are sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed, or hurt, emotional validation is one of the most important things you can give them. It’s essential to show that you care without invalidating their experience or trying to make them change their emotions instantly. Try saying:

• “I can see you’re upset. Would you like to talk about it, or would you prefer some space?”
• “I’m here for you, whatever you need. Would it help if I just listened, or would you like my perspective?”
• “Your feelings are completely valid. Tell me more about what’s going on.”
• “I may not understand exactly what you’re going through, but I care deeply and want to support you.”
• “This clearly matters to you, and so it matters to me too. Let’s work through this together.”

Pro Tip: Validating emotions before problem-solving can lead to partners feeling more understood and supported.

What to Say When You Want to Flirt

The modern-day dating game isn’t always easy to demystify, but the science of flirting points to one major formula you can use when you feel tongue-tied in front of a crush: Compliment them and ask a question. Instead of a pick-up line, say:

• “I’ve been smiling ever since we started talking. Has anyone ever told you that you have a great energy about you?”
• “I don’t usually find it this easy to talk to someone new. There’s something about you that’s really intriguing.”
• “I noticed you right away. What is it that you do that captures people’s attention like that?”
• “I’m usually better with words, but there’s something about you that’s making me a little nervous—in a good way.”
• “If conversations were desserts, talking with you would definitely be my favorite treat.”

Pro Tip: Here are 30 Ways to Effortlessly Start a Conversation With A Guy and 25 Ways to Masterfully Make Conversations With Girls.

What to Say When You Ask Someone Out

The good old days of asking, “Will you go out with me?” seem gone. If you don’t know what to say to ask your crush out, try a simple, confident invite such as:  

• “I’ve really enjoyed our conversations. Would you like to continue them over coffee sometime?”
• “I’d love to get to know you better outside of [work/class/etc.]. Would you be interested in getting dinner next week?”
• “There’s a [show/exhibition/event] happening this weekend that made me think of you. Would you like to check it out together?”
• “I’ve been wanting to try [restaurant/activity] and thought you might enjoy it too. Would you like to join me?”
• “I really value our friendship, and I’ve also been feeling a connection that might be something more. Would you be open to exploring that on a date?”

Pro Tip: Being specific about the proposed activity makes it easier for the other person to envision saying yes. Read this for more tips on How to Ask Someone Out: 8 Steps for a Yes Every Time.

What to Say When You Break Up With Someone

Anyone who has been heartbroken will probably feel afraid to break someone else’s heart. If you need to end a relationship, it’s much kinder to say something directly than nothing. Wait for a quiet, private moment and tell them:

• “I’ve done a lot of reflecting, and I don’t think we’re bringing out the best in each other anymore. I think we should end our relationship.”
• “I care about you deeply, but I’ve realized that our life goals are moving in different directions.”
• “This isn’t easy to say, but I need to be honest: I don’t see a future for us romantically anymore.”
• “We’ve both been trying really hard, but I think we need to acknowledge that this relationship isn’t working for either of us.”
• “I’ve valued our time together enormously, but I need to end our relationship. I’ve realized I need to [work on myself/different type of relationship/etc.].”

Pro Tip: Be direct yet compassionate, avoid blaming, and focus on incompatibility rather than perceived flaws.

What to Say When You Miss Someone

Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or unable to see your partner for a while, you may not know what to say to express how much you miss them. Here are a few cute and thoughtful ways to say “I miss you”: 

• “Just saw [thing that reminded me of them] and instantly thought of you. Hope you’re doing well!”
• “The hardest part of my day is not being able to share it with you.”
• “I was just thinking about the time we [shared memory] and it made me smile. I miss moments like that with you.”
• “Just a reminder that you’re deeply missed and often thought of.”
• “There’s a [your name]-shaped hole in my day today. Can’t wait until we can catch up!”

Pro Tip: Specific memories or observations feel more genuine than general statements about missing someone.

What to Say If Someone Rejects You

Researchers have validated that being rejected triggers the same parts of the brain as physical pain. According to our polls, most people would rather feel physically hurt than heartbreak! Still, almost everyone gets rejected at some point in their life.

Because this can be highly emotional and confusing, it is helpful to pause and calm yourself before responding. You don’t want to appear desperate, dramatic, or overly intense. Instead, you can gracefully reply with the following: 

• “I appreciate your honesty. I value our connection and respect your feelings.”
• “Thank you for being straightforward with me. I’d still like to maintain our friendship if you’re comfortable with that.”
• “I understand, and I respect your decision. Thanks for being honest with me.”
• “That’s completely fair. I appreciate you taking the time to consider it.”
• “I’m disappointed, of course, but I’m grateful for your honesty and respect your perspective.”

Pro Tip: Learn more about Why Rejection Hurts So Much And How To Heal The Pain. 

What to Say If Someone Says “I Love You”

Whether you’re ready to reciprocate or need more time, responding to this powerful declaration requires thoughtfulness:

If you feel the same way:

• “I love you too. It feels amazing to finally say that out loud.”
• “I’ve been falling in love with you too. Hearing you say it makes me so happy.”

If you’re not quite there yet:

• “That means so much to me. I’m not quite there yet, but I care deeply about you and am heading in that direction.”
• “Hearing that makes me feel incredibly special. I’m still exploring my feelings, but I know they’re growing stronger every day.”

If you’re surprised:

• “That’s a powerful thing to share. I need some time to process my own feelings, but I’m touched by your vulnerability.”

Pro Tip: Honesty tempered with kindness is always the best approach, even if you can’t reciprocate the same level of feeling.

Want to learn more about why we fall in love? Read The Science of Attraction: Why We Love Certain People.

What to Say If Someone Ghosts You

Ghosting is a modern dating trend where someone suddenly stops responding to your messages and completely ignores any attempts to reach out. This is a harmful way of breaking up or ending a “situationship” without having to do the dirty work of simply saying, “it’s over.”

There’s no denying that ghosting hurts! The lack of closure can trigger all sorts of anxiety, confusion, and lack of self-esteem. Still, you must understand that they are probably doing this because of their trust issues, attachment style, past relationship trauma, or fear of confrontation.

Most dating experts recommend not texting anything after being ghosted. If you absolutely must reach out, wait at least a week and then respond with one of these options:

• “I’ve noticed we haven’t been in contact lately. I hope everything’s okay with you.”
• “I’ve enjoyed our connection and am a bit confused about the sudden silence. If you’re no longer interested, I understand and wish you well.”
• “Just checking in to see how you’re doing. No pressure to respond, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you.”
• “I’m not sure what happened, but I wanted to reach out one last time. I respect your space either way.”
• “Not sure if you’re dealing with something personal or if our connection has run its course. Either way, I wish you the best.”

Pro Tip: Limit yourself to one follow-up message. If they don’t respond, accepting the silence is usually the healthiest option.

What to Say in High-Stakes Situations

What to Say in a Workplace Conflict

Workplace tensions can escalate quickly without careful communication:

• “I see we have different perspectives on this. Can we take a step back and identify our common goals first?”
• “I value your expertise, and I also have some concerns about the current approach. Could we explore some alternatives together?”
• “I think we may have had a misunderstanding. Could we clarify what each of us meant by [specific point]?”
• “I’d like to understand your position better before we decide how to move forward. Could you walk me through your thinking?”
• “Let’s pause for a moment. It seems we’re both passionate about this project but have different ideas about execution. How might we combine our strengths?”

Pro Tip: Acknowledging the other person’s perspective before sharing your own can reduce defensiveness in workplace conflicts. Here’s a more comprehensive guide on Solving Workplace Conflict in 8 Steps. 

What to Say When Someone Is Grieving Deeply

When someone is experiencing profound grief, your presence often matters more than your words:

• “I don’t have words that can match what you’re going through, but I want you to know I’m here—whether you want to talk, need help with practical things, or just want silent company.”
• “Grief has no timeline. I’m here for the long haul, not just today or next week.”
• “I remember how [name] would always [positive memory]. They brought so much joy to those around them.”
• “Would it help to talk about them? I’d love to hear your favorite memories when you feel ready to share.”
• “I’m holding space for you and your pain. You don’t need to be anything other than exactly as you are right now.”

Pro Tip: To better understand what a grieving person is going through, read 12 Types of Grief and Everything You Need to Know About Them.

What to Say in a Family Argument

Family dynamics can make conflicts particularly charged with emotion:

• “I can see this matters a lot to both of us. Let’s take a deep breath and try to approach this differently.”
• “Our relationship is more important to me than being right about this. Can we find some middle ground?”
• “I know we both want what’s best for the family. Can we talk about what that looks like for each of us?”
• “I realize I might not fully understand your perspective. Could you help me see this from your point of view?”
• “I value our relationship too much to let this drive us apart. What would a good resolution look like for you?”

Pro Tip: “I” statements that express your feelings without blame can be particularly effective in family conflicts.

What to Say When You’re Overwhelmed

Communicating your boundaries when you’re at capacity helps prevent burnout:

• “I need to be honest—I’m feeling quite overwhelmed right now. Could we revisit this when I’ve had some time to regroup?”
• “I want to give this the attention it deserves, but I’m at my limit today. Can I get back to you tomorrow?”
• “I’m noticing I’m not at my best right now. I need to take a short break before continuing this conversation.”
• “I’m struggling to process everything at once. Could we focus on just one aspect of this for now?”
• “I care about this discussion, but I need to step away briefly to collect my thoughts. Can we pause for 15 minutes?”

Pro Tip: Tak a brief break during stressful situations to clear your mind; this will help  improve decision-making and emotional regulation.

What to Say in a Crisis Situation

During emergencies or high-stress events, clear communication becomes crucial:

• “Let’s focus on what we know for certain right now and what our immediate next step should be.”
• “I understand this is scary. Let’s break this down into smaller parts we can address one by one.”
• “Right now, our priority needs to be [most urgent aspect]. Can we align on that?”
• “I suggest we take a moment to gather all the information before deciding. What do we know so far?”
• “It’s normal to feel overwhelmed right now. Let’s concentrate on what’s within our control.”

Pro Tip: Acknowledge uncertainty while providing clear direction to increase trust and compliance during emergencies.

Crises can come in many forms. Here’s a handy breakdown for crisis responses based on the situation:

Crisis Type	Communication Goal	Example Response
Medical emergency	Create calm action	“Let’s stay focused. You call 911 while I stay with them.”
Workplace crisis	Establish priorities	“Our first concern is everyone’s safety, then we’ll address the system failure.”
Personal emergency	Provide emotional support	“This is a lot to process. Let’s take it one step at a time together.”
Family crisis	Unite toward solution	“We all want what’s best. What’s our most immediate concern right now?”
Public emergency	Share crucial information	“Here’s what we know for certain, and here’s what we’re still figuring out.”

What to Say When Someone Discloses Trauma

When someone shares traumatic experiences, your response can significantly impact their healing journey:

• “Thank you for trusting me with this. That took incredible courage.”
• “I believe you, and what happened wasn’t your fault.”
• “You survived something incredibly difficult. I’m here to listen whenever you want to talk about it.”
• “How are you doing with this now? Is there anything specific you need from me as support?”
• “I’m honored that you felt safe enough to share this with me. Would it help to talk about what kinds of support feel good to you?”

Pro Tip: Trauma-informed approaches emphasize believing the person, validating their experience, and respecting their autonomy in how they process their experiences.

What to Say During a Misunderstanding

Clearing up misunderstandings quickly prevents unnecessary relationship damage:

• “I think we might be talking past each other. Can I try to restate what I think you’re saying?”
• “I realize I might have misinterpreted what you meant. Could you clarify [specific point]?”
• “We seem to be understanding this differently. Let me explain how I’m seeing it, and then I’d love to hear your perspective.”
• “I think I might have come across differently than I intended. What I meant to convey was…”
• “It seems we have different information about this situation. Can we take a step back and share what each of us knows?”

Pro Tip: Misunderstandings often stem from different interpretations of the same information rather than disagreement about the facts themselves. This is why communication is so important! Read our article to prevent misunderstandings in the future: 15 Ways To Solve the Most Common Communication Issues.

What to Say When You Need to Deliver Bad News

Whether it’s a project failure, relationship issue, or difficult update, delivering bad news requires sensitivity:

• “I have some difficult news to share. Is now a good time to talk?”
• “I’ve been thinking carefully about how to tell you this, and I want to be straightforward with you.”
• “I need to share something challenging. I’ll tell you what I know, and then we can discuss what this means.”
• “This is difficult to say, but I believe you deserve to know directly from me that…”
• “I have an update that isn’t what we hoped for. After I share it, I’d like to discuss our options moving forward.”

Pro Tip: Most people prefer direct delivery of bad news rather than long preambles, though a brief preparation phrase helps the listener mentally prepare.

What to Say When Someone Is Angry at You

When facing someone’s anger, de-escalation becomes your primary goal:

• “I can see you’re upset, and your feelings are valid. I’m listening.”
• “I want to understand why you’re angry. Can you help me see what happened from your perspective?”
• “I realize I may have contributed to this situation. I’d like to understand how my actions affected you.”
• “Let’s take a moment to cool down so we can discuss this productively. Would that be okay?”
• “I care about resolving this. What would a good resolution look like from your perspective?”

Pro Tip: Acknowledge the other person’s emotions before defending yourself. This can help activate their “rational” brain rather than keeping them in an emotional reactive state.

What to Say After Making a Mistake

Owning your errors with grace demonstrates integrity and emotional intelligence:

• “I made a mistake, and I take full responsibility for it. Here’s what happened, and here’s what I’m doing to fix it.”
• “I got this wrong, and I apologize. I understand the impact it had on [specific consequences], and I’m committed to making it right.”
• “I should have handled that differently. I’ve learned [specific lesson] from this experience.”
• “That was my error, and I apologize. What can I do to help resolve the situation?”
• “I made a mistake by [specific action]. Moving forward, I’ll prevent this from happening again

Pro Tip: A complete apology includes acknowledging the mistake, expressing genuine remorse, and outlining specific steps to prevent recurrence.

What to Say to Build Deeper Connections

What to Say to Show Empathy

Empathy forms the foundation of meaningful connections. When someone shares their experiences or emotions:

• “That sounds really difficult. I can only imagine how that must feel for you.”
• “Thank you for sharing that with me. It helps me understand what you’re going through.”
• “I might not have experienced exactly that, but I hear how important this is to you.”
• “It makes perfect sense that you would feel that way given what happened.”
• “I’m trying to put myself in your shoes, and I can see why this matters so much to you.”

Pro Tip: Focus on understanding before responding. People rarely forget how you made them feel during vulnerable moments, and genuine empathy creates lasting trust in relationships.

What to Say When You Feel Left Out

Feeling socially excluded can be painful. Here’s how to communicate those feelings constructively:

• “I’ve been feeling a bit disconnected lately. I’d love to find ways we can spend more time together.”
• “I noticed I wasn’t included in [event/conversation]. Was that an oversight, or is there something I should be aware of?”
• “I value our relationship and would like to feel more included in [specific context]. How can we make that happen?”
• “When [specific situation happened], I felt left out. I’m bringing this up because our connection is important to me.”
• “I’ve noticed a pattern where I feel somewhat on the outside of this group. I’d appreciate your perspective on this.”

Pro Tip: Feeling left out is an incredibly human and common emotion. Learn more on how to handle it: Feeling Left Out By Your Friends? 9 Tips to Overcome It.

What to Say When Reconnecting With Someone

Reaching out after a period of silence requires acknowledging the gap without dwelling on it:

• “It’s been too long since we connected! I’ve thought of you often and would love to catch up.”
• “Life got busy, but you’ve been on my mind. How have you been?”
• “I’ve missed our conversations and would love to reconnect if you’re open to it.”
• “I realize it’s been a while since we’ve been in touch. I value our relationship and would love to hear what’s been happening in your life.”
• “Time flies! I was just thinking about [shared memory] and wanted to reach out. How are things with you?”

Pro Tip: Acknowledge the gap in communication without extensive apologies, then focus on genuine interest in their current life.

What to Say to Deepen a Friendship

To move beyond surface-level connections, intentional vulnerability often helps:

• “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you. I’d love to hear more about what shaped you into who you are today.”
• “Our conversations always leave me thinking. What’s something you’ve been contemplating lately?”
• “I feel like we connect well. What do you think makes a friendship meaningful to you?”
• “I’ve noticed we share similar perspectives on many things. I’m curious about your thoughts on [deeper topic].”
• “I’ve been working on being more open with people who matter to me. Something I haven’t shared yet is…”

Pro Tip: Research^{2https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167297234003} by Dr. Arthur Aron suggests that mutual, escalating self-disclosure is one of the fastest ways to develop closeness in relationships. For more tips on moving from friends to close friends (and maybe even best friend), read How to Make a Best Friend: 15 Science-Backed Steps.

What to Say When Someone Needs Motivation

Supporting others through challenges requires encouragement without dismissing their struggles:

• “I’ve seen your determination before, and I believe in your ability to overcome this too.”
• “This obstacle doesn’t define you or your journey. Remember how far you’ve already come.”
• “It’s okay to feel discouraged sometimes. What’s one small step you could take today?”
• “I admire how you’ve handled challenges in the past. What helped you then that might work now?”
• “I’m in your corner, no matter what the outcome. What kind of support would be most helpful right now?”

Pro Tip: Looking to get motivated yourself? Read How to Get Motivated: 25 Tips to Get More Energy.

What to Say During Digital Communication

What to Say in a Professional Email When You Don’t Know What to Say

Email communication requires particular clarity when navigating difficult topics:

• “Thank you for your message. I’d like to give this the thoughtful response it deserves. Could I get back to you by [specific time]?”
• “I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. To ensure I understand correctly, could you clarify [specific aspect]?”
• “After considering your request, I believe we might need more information about [specific details] before proceeding.”
• “I wanted to acknowledge receipt of your email. I’m consulting with [relevant person/team] and will respond comprehensively by [timeframe].”
• “This is an important matter that I believe would benefit from a conversation rather than email. Would you be available for a brief call this week?”

Pro Tip: For more tips on crafting a perfect professional email, check out 23 Professional Email Tips to Craft Your Next Email.

What to Say in Response to a Heated Social Media Comment

Online interactions can escalate quickly without the context of facial expressions and tone:

• “I appreciate your passion on this topic. I see things differently, but I’m interested in understanding your perspective better.”
• “I think this conversation might benefit from more nuance than is possible in this format. Would you be open to discussing this further offline?”
• “It seems we have different information or experiences informing our views. I respect your right to your opinion, even though I don’t share it.”
• “Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’ll take some time to consider the points you’ve raised.”
• “I understand this is an emotional topic. I’m trying to approach it with respect and openness, and I hope we can maintain that tone together.”

Pro Tip: Try acknowledging valid points from opposing views before expressing disagreement to reduce hostility and find common ground. 

What to Say When Responding to a Confusing Text

Ambiguous messages can lead to misunderstandings. Here’s how to seek clarity:

• “I’m not completely sure I understood your message. Could you clarify what you mean by [specific part]?”
• “I want to make sure I’m responding to what you actually meant. Are you saying [your interpretation]?”
• “I might be missing context here. Could you explain a bit more?”
• “I’m a bit confused by your text. Did something specific prompt this message?”
• “Just to make sure we’re on the same page—are you referring to [specific situation]?”

Pro Tip: Voice or video calls often resolve text-based confusion more efficiently than continued text exchanges.

What to Say When You Need to Decline a Virtual Invitation

Remote work and digital socializing have created new contexts for declining invitations gracefully:

• “Thank you for thinking of me! Unfortunately, I’m experiencing some Zoom fatigue lately and need to limit my screen time.”
• “I appreciate the invitation, but I have commitments during that time that I can’t reschedule.”
• “While I’d love to join, I’m being more intentional about my calendar these days and need to decline. Please keep me in mind for future opportunities!”
• “That sounds like a wonderful event, but I need to protect some personal time that day. I hope it goes well!”
• “I’m honored to be invited, but I’m currently at capacity with virtual commitments. Could I get a recording or notes afterward?”

Pro Tip: Being honest about digital boundaries helps normalize healthy technology limits for everyone.

What to Say When Following Up After No Response

Following up without seeming pushy requires a delicate balance:

• “I wanted to circle back on my previous message in case it got buried in your inbox. Would you have a moment to respond when convenient?”
• “Just a friendly nudge on this—I know things get busy! Do you need any additional information from me to move forward?”
• “I understand you have many priorities competing for your attention. I’m following up because [reason this matters/timeline].”
• “I’m touching base on this again as we’re approaching [relevant deadline/event]. Let me know if you have thoughts or questions!”
• “I know you’re managing multiple priorities. Would it be helpful if I [alternative action] instead?”

Pro Tip: Always provide a good reason for your follow-up and make responding as easy as possible for the recipient.

What to Say in Special Scenarios

What to Say to Someone With Different Cultural Communication Styles

Cross-cultural communication requires extra awareness and flexibility:

• “I’m still learning about communication norms in your culture. If I misinterpret something or miss important context, please let me know.”
• “I notice we might have different assumptions about [specific aspect]. In my experience, this typically means [your interpretation]. Is that how you see it as well?”
• “I want to make sure I’m understanding you correctly. In my culture, [behavior] typically suggests [meaning]. Is that the same in your experience?”
• “I value our cross-cultural dialogue. Is there anything about my communication style that I could adjust to make our conversations more comfortable for you?”
• “I’m curious about how this kind of situation would typically be handled in your cultural context. Would you mind sharing that perspective?”

Pro Tip: Explicitly acknowledging cultural differences often reduces misunderstandings and creates space for mutual learning.

What to Say to Someone Who Has Different Political Views

Navigating political differences requires focusing on understanding rather than conversion:

• “I’m genuinely curious about how you came to that perspective. Would you be willing to share more about experiences that shaped your views?”
• “We clearly see this issue differently. I’d like to understand your reasoning better, even if we continue to disagree.”
• “I think we share the same underlying concern about [basic value], though we have different ideas about how to address it.”
• “This is an area where thoughtful people disagree. I respect your right to your position, even though I see things differently.”
• “I appreciate you sharing your perspective. I’m trying to listen with an open mind, and I hope you can extend the same courtesy to my viewpoint.”

Pro Tip: Political psychology research^{3https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-9221.2005.00428.x} suggests that focusing on shared values before discussing differences creates more productive dialogue.

What to Say to Someone Going Through a Major Life Transition

Major life changes often bring mixed emotions that require nuanced support:

• “This is such a significant change. What aspects feel most exciting to you right now? What feels most challenging?”
• “Transitions like this often come with both gains and losses. How are you navigating those mixed feelings?”
• “As you’re going through this change, what kinds of support would be most helpful for you?”
• “Big life shifts can be disorienting even when they’re positive. How are you taking care of yourself through this?”
• “This is a lot to process. Would it help to talk through what this transition means for you?”

Pro Tip: Acknowledge both the positive and challenging aspects of change to help people integrate new identities more effectively.

What to Say When a Colleague Gets Promoted Instead of You

Handling professional disappointment with grace preserves relationships and your professional reputation:

• “Congratulations on your promotion! I’m looking forward to seeing your impact in this new role.”
• “While I was hoping for a different outcome for myself, I want you to know I respect the decision and am committed to our team’s success.”
• “I’d love to hear more about your vision for the role when you have time to discuss.”
• “This is well-deserved recognition of your contributions. I’m genuinely happy for you.”
• “Congratulations! I’d appreciate the opportunity to discuss my own development path when appropriate, but today is about celebrating your achievement.”

Pro Tip: Those who can genuinely support colleagues’ successes while continuing to work on their own goals tend to advance further in the long run.

What to Say to Yourself When You Don’t Know What to Say

Internal dialogue during challenging moments can either escalate or calm your anxiety:

• “It’s okay not to have the perfect response right now. I can take my time.”
• “This is uncomfortable, but discomfort is temporary and doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong.”
• “I don’t need to fill every silence. Sometimes thoughtful listening is the most valuable contribution.”
• “Even if I don’t say the perfect thing, my presence and genuine care matter more than my exact words.”
• “I can always follow up later if I think of a better response after this conversation.”

Pro Tip: Being kind to yourself in difficult moments is fundamental to well-being. Treat yourself with the same understanding you’d offer a good friend who was struggling to find the right words. Here are 10 Powerful Tips You Can Use to Practice Self-Compassion.

3 Important Strategies for Tough Conversations

When faced with challenging conversations, having a reliable framework that you can apply across a wide range of scenarios can help you navigate those moments when you think “I don’t know what to say.” 

Here are several evidence-based approaches:

Active Listening Techniques

Studies^{4https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S2352250X23000866} show that active listening creates psychological safety in difficult conversations. When you don’t know how to say it, try these techniques:

• Mirroring: Repeat the last few words or main idea to validate the speaker’s point
• Summarizing: “So what I’m hearing is…” to confirm understanding
• Validating emotions: “I can see why you would feel that way…”
• Body language alignment: Lean slightly forward, maintain appropriate eye contact, and nod occasionally

Remember: active listening is a social skill you need to learn and practice just like any other. To develop your listening skills, read 15 Effective Tips on How To Talk Less (And Listen More!).

The Power of Asking Questions

When you’re at a loss for words, shifting to thoughtful questions is an easy hack to keep the conversation going:

• Open-ended exploration: “Can you tell me more about why that matters to you?”
• Perspective questions: “How do you see this situation playing out ideally?”
• Clarification queries: “Could you help me understand what you mean by…?”
• Experience-focused questions: “What has your experience been with this in the past?”

Asking questions not only gives you time to gather your thoughts, but it demonstrates genuine interest in the other person’s perspective. This approach shifts the conversation from a potentially awkward exchange to a meaningful dialogue.

The PAUSE Framework

When caught off-guard in difficult conversations, this framework can help structure your response:

• Pause and breathe
• Acknowledge what was said
• Understand by asking clarifying questions
• Share your perspective thoughtfully
• Explore next steps together

Journaling Prompt: Think about a time when you completely froze in conversation and couldn’t find the words. Write about this experience in detail: What triggered your blank mind? What emotions were you feeling? If you could go back to that moment now, what would you say differently? How might practicing specific responses help you handle similar situations in the future?

How to Handle Cultural Nuances

It can be doubly hard to know what to say when your coworker is from another country or has different cultural customs. So… how do you navigate this?

Direct vs. Indirect Communication Styles

In direct communication cultures (like Germany, Netherlands, and the US), people tend to:

• Value explicit, straightforward messages
• Say exactly what they mean
• Rely less on context and more on words themselves

In indirect communication cultures (like Japan, China, and many Middle Eastern countries), people often:

• Communicate through implication and suggestion
• Rely heavily on context and non-verbal cues
• Use ambiguity to maintain harmony

When navigating these differences and you don’t know what to say, try:

• Adjusting your directness first—refrain from always speaking your mind or give more input based on the context
• Asking open-ended questions to understand expectations rather than closed questions
• Watching for body language cues that might signal discomfort

High-Context vs. Low-Context Communication

Research^{5https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/communication-and-mass-media/high-context-and-low-context-cultures#:~:text=High%2Dcontext%20and%20low%2Dcontext%20cultures%20are%20concepts%20introduced%20by,communication%20where%20clarity%20is%20essential.} by anthropologist Edward T. Hall divides communication styles into high-context (where much is implied) and low-context (where everything is explicitly stated). When interacting with someone from a different context style, be aware that what feels like appropriate communication to you might feel either overly blunt or frustratingly vague to them.

5 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Stuck

When facing cross-cultural communication challenges and you don’t know how to say it, ask yourself:

1. Is this a high or low-context culture compared to mine?
2. Might my directness (or indirectness) be perceived differently than intended?
3. What non-verbal cues should I be paying attention to?
4. What would be considered respectful timing for my response in this culture?
5. Have I acknowledged any potential misunderstandings due to cultural differences?

Pro Tip: When uncertain, it’s usually better to err on the side of more formality and less directness until you understand the cultural context better.

Building Confidence Over Time

Knowing what to say when you don’t know what to say becomes easier with deliberate practice. As with any other skill, conversation skills can be significantly improved through consistent techniques:

Script Preparation and Practice

• Keep a response journal of effective phrases you’ve used or heard
• Practice responses to common scenarios in front of a mirror
• Role-play difficult conversations with a trusted friend
• Record yourself to analyze your delivery and body language

Reading Non-Verbal Cues

While the verdict is still out on exactly what percentage of communication is non-verbal, there’s no doubt that it’s a large number! As such, improving your ability to read body language helps tremendously when you don’t know what to say:

• Watch for closed body language (crossed arms, reduced eye contact)
• Notice micro-expressions (brief facial expressions lasting 1/25th of a second)
• Pay attention to vocal tone and pace
• Observe spatial comfort (whether someone leans in or pulls away)

Systematic Desensitization

Social anxiety can significantly contribute to those moments when you don’t know what to say or freeze in conversations. If this sounds familiar, research^{6https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005789473800711?via%3Dihub} supports systematic desensitization:

1. Start with low-stakes conversations (cashiers, acquaintances)
2. Gradually advance to more challenging interactions
3. Use relaxation techniques before difficult conversations
4. Celebrate small wins to build positive associations

Want more tips on combating social anxiety? Read our article on 15 Tips to Combat Social Anxiety & Conquer Confidence.

Building a Conversation Toolkit

A handyman never shows up to the job without his toolkit. Likewise, prepare your own personal conversation kit to be ready for any social interaction:

• 3-5 reliable transition phrases for awkward silences
• 2-3 graceful exit lines for different situations
• 4-5 open-ended questions that work in most contexts
• Several validation phrases for emotional moments

Jot these down in a notebook or a note on your phone and review it every now and then until you have them memorized.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About Handling Difficult Conversations

The Art of Responding Thoughtfully

Navigating uncomfortable or awkward situations is a social skill that can help you in all areas of your life. When you genuinely feel lost about what to say, remember to:

• Ask questions: People like to talk about themselves, and when you ask them questions, you show that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say. If you don’t know what to say, ask another question about your conversation partner. 
• Be honest: If you don’t know the answer to a question or must confront a complex topic, it’s best to be straightforward about your feelings.
• Show empathy: Whether it’s good news or bad news, understanding and validating someone else’s emotions is vital for forging more profound connections. 
• Practice self-compassion: Even the most socially skilled people sometimes struggle with finding the right words

The more you practice these responses, the more natural they’ll become. Over time, you’ll develop confidence in handling even the most challenging conversations with grace and authenticity.

Want to develop even deeper conversation skills? Check out our comprehensive guide: How to Hold a Conversation With Anyone You’ve Just Met.