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You turn on the webcam or get ready to open the door, and… What happens? Don't let fear control you—here are 7 ways to prepare for your next meeting!
Preparing for meetings can be bone-crushingly difficult, especially if you have glossophobia, the fear of public speaking. When the Chapman University Survey of American Fears asked 1,035 U.S. adults about 95 different fears, 29% said they were afraid or very afraid of public speaking. Roughly three in ten people is a lot of company.
But fear not! In this guide, you’ll find expert tips from Vance Van Petten, author of Ten Minutes to the Speech and former Executive Director of the Producers Guild of America.
We are so honored to help you find authentic connections! If you are struggling to find the help you need, please note that all content found on this website is not to be considered professional medical advice. It is always best to consult a doctor or licensed therapist with any questions or concerns in regards to your physical or mental health. For a good resource for therapists, you can check out Mental Health America’s helpful list.
Smeathing
Smeathing is when you smile while breathing. It naturally relaxes your esophagus and chest. Smeathing is a great anti-anxiety technique because it’s much more difficult to breathe rapidly and shallowly while we’re taking deep breaths. Putting a smile on your face also activates mirror neurons associated with happiness.
In addition, smeathing makes us naturally execute what’s known as a “savor smile.”
A savor smile is a naturally occurring smile that takes a half a second or longer to blossom on one’s face.
Savor smiles are the type of smile that might occur when you’re relaxing on the beach or enjoying a warm gingerbread cookie next to a campfire.
Action Step: Try smeathing! Take in a deep breath and smile as you exhale. It might be a good idea to smeathe right before you meet a group of people, have an important meeting, or are about to give a presentation.
Craft Your Impressions
First impressions are critical. In fact, most people form their first impressions of others in about a tenth of a second1.
So if you’re not making a killer impression, you might want to consider brushing up on your skills. You can even think of your first impression like an elevator pitch, and practice it until it’s perfected!
Learn to nail your elevator pitch and make an unforgettable first impression.
Finalize The Agenda
Before a meeting or pitch, who’s the one person going over the agenda? If it’s you, you’ll want to make sure you include proper introductions for each person. For example, take a look at how Tom Bilyeu introduces his guests. Each introduction is thorough and highlights the person’s most important accomplishments.
A good agenda has times, people, and goals. Don’t be afraid to add details!
Sample Agenda:
- 10 a.m., Joe: Introductions, introduce new people
- 10:05–100(i(ish) a.m., Melissa: Goal overview and priorities for the year ahead
- 100(i(ish) a.m., Vishen: Data analytics review and question time
- 12 p.m., Carol: Wrap-up and next steps
Create Your Lineup
You might also want to make sure speakers are in a good speaking order. For example, during remote video calls, you might have heard this question being thrown around: “Who wants to go next?”
Not only can this lead to an awkward silence, but it’s likely nobody wants to be the first person to take the bait. Instead, order your list of speakers and have the lead agenda person guide the speaking turns.
Pro Tip: If you’re leading a big meeting, you might want to save some of your best speakers for last, or they may overshadow your weaker ones.
Reframe Your Nerves as Excitement
The best-tested trick for pre-meeting jitters is almost the opposite of what people usually reach for.
A 2014 set of Harvard experiments in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General put people through karaoke singing, an impromptu persuasive speech, and a timed math test. Just before each task, some were prompted to get excited (saying “I am excited” out loud, in the first two studies) and others to stay calm. The excited group performed better on all three tasks, and independent raters who didn’t know the conditions scored the excited speakers as more persuasive, competent, and confident2.
Why does it work? Anxiety and excitement are nearly the same physiological state: racing heart, alert body. Trying to force yourself from high-arousal anxiety all the way down to calm is a big leap; relabeling that same energy as excitement is a much smaller, more believable shift. So before your meeting, don’t fight the adrenaline. Rename it: “I’m not nervous, I’m fired up.”
Skip the Visualization Folklore
If you’re afraid of public speaking, it doesn’t mean you can’t become great at it. Plenty of accomplished people have wrestled with it, and the British Council notes that figures like Abraham Lincoln and Nicole Kidman reportedly dealt with speaking nerves too.
Some speakers also lean on quick visualization tricks. You’ve probably heard the classic bit of folklore, often attributed to Winston Churchill, about picturing the audience undressed, or Dale Carnegie’s habit of imagining the room owed him money. Treat these as fun confidence hacks; the “naked audience” tip in particular is apocryphal, and no study backs it. If a harmless mental image relaxes you, great. For everything else, the reframe above, solid preparation, and practice at how you sound will do more.
Speak Like a Friend
A great way to connect to a large audience is to not try to address everyone, but address one specific person like they’re your friend. You’ll make a much deeper connection with them, and others will pick up on this too.
For example, here’s an iconic moment in the 1992 United States presidential debates between George Bush and Bill Clinton. Notice how close and personal Clinton gets to his audience member:
Talk about building rapport! In video calls, you can try looking directly into the webcam to take advantage of eye contact.
Pro Tip: Speak to your nodders. During your speech, keep an eye on those people who are nodding. These people are receptive and are usually better targets to build a connection with.
Want more public speaking tips? Read on:
- 26 Science-Based Public Speaking Tips To Be a Master Speaker
- 17 Body Language Presentation Cues to Use in Your Next Speech
- How to Start a Speech: The Best (and Worst) Speech Openers
Now on to you! A huge part of getting over public speaking is truly understanding people: how they feel, how they think, and how they use their body language. In fact, reading body language is somewhat of a “superpower” because you can gain deeper insights into what people are truly saying with their bodies.
Check out this ultimate guide on body language to sharpen your skills: The Ultimate Guide to Body Language.
