Did you know that people who share regularly are happier? One study1https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407512449400 found that people who engage in acts of giving and sharing with others report higher levels of happiness.
Specifically, the study revealed that individuals who frequently share with others—be it time, resources, or help—are about 50% more likely to report feeling happy in their lives compared to those who share less often!
Now, we’ll dive into the phenomenon of the Benjamin Franklin Effect and how you can use it to gain rapport with others!
Watch our video below to learn a quick tip to be more likeable:
What is the Benjamin Franklin Effect?
The Benjamin Franklin Effect, also known as just the Ben Franklin Effect, is a psychological phenomenon named after one of America’s founding fathers, Benjamin Franklin. When you do a favor for someone, especially someone you’re not close to, your brain works to align your feelings with your actions. This process is called cognitive dissonance, and it is a subtle but powerful one.
By helping someone, your brain starts to ease the disconnect between the act of giving and your initial feelings about the person. Gradually, this leads you to view them more favorably. It’s a clever way our minds ensure our thoughts and actions are in sync, transforming how we perceive others through our own acts of kindness. Numerous studies have also confirmed that asking for favors increases likeness towards them, even across cultures2https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224545.2015.1095706.
Now, let’s get a bit playful with this. Imagine you’re back in high school, and there’s this person you just can’t seem to get along with. Then one day, they ask you for a pencil. You lend it to them, and suddenly, you’re not rolling your eyes as much at their jokes. That is the Benjamin Franklin Effect in action! Who knew a simple pencil could wield such power?
How to Take Advantage of the Benjamin Franklin Effect
Ask for Advice on EVERYTHING
Take every opportunity you can to ask for advice. Ask for…
- Restaurant recommendations
- Career help
- Dating advice
- A friend, colleague or mentor to review your resume
- What you should name your baby
- …ask and you shall receive advice and more likability!
Add a Compliment
Imagine you’re interested in a colleague’s prowess in a specific skill, like digital marketing. To leverage the Benjamin Franklin Effect, approach them not just as a colleague but as someone whose expertise you genuinely admire.
Try this: Compliment someone on a skill and ask them for a favor.
Say something like, “Hey [Name], I’m really in awe of your skills in digital marketing. I’m trying to up my game in this area. Could you share some insights or strategies that work for you?” This approach does two things: it makes them feel valued for their skills and opens the door for a deeper, more collaborative relationship.
Lunch and learn
Spot a colleague who’s a pro at packing nutritious and delicious lunches? Seize the opportunity for a bit of lunchtime learning. Casually ask them what their favorite go-to videos or YouTube channels are for learning new skills or something interesting.
Bonus: Feel free to also share your favorites! Here are a few of my favorite channels for thinking:
- Thomas Frank: Thomas Frank’s videos focus on boosting productivity. They cover a range of topics, including study tips, strategies to overcome procrastination, reading and note-taking techniques – all skills that are invaluable in the professional world.
- Crash Course: Ideal for those looking to expand their knowledge, Crash Course offers courses on a variety of subjects such as physics, philosophy, economics, U.S. government and politics, and more. This can be a great resource for professionals looking to broaden their horizons.
- Wisecrack: This channel offers a unique blend of entertainment and education, exploring big ideas through movies, TV shows, video games, and books. It’s perfect for professionals interested in philosophy and critical thinking.
Overcome stage fright
Ever watched a colleague effortlessly captivate an audience and wondered, “How do they do it?”
Here’s a nifty way to not only learn but also build a connection. Next time you’re in the break room or walking back from a meeting, casually bring up your upcoming presentation.
Mention how you’ve noticed their ease with public speaking and simply ask, “What’s your secret to such engaging presentations?” This is a natural, low-pressure way to seek advice, showing admiration for their skill while gathering valuable tips for your own growth.
And while you’re at it, why not try this goodie to level up your stage skills?
Master your People Skills
Have a question about the presentation or People School? Email Science of People support.
Action Step: Try implementing one of their suggestions in your next presentation, and afterwards, share with them how it went. This not only shows you valued their advice but also fosters an ongoing, mutually beneficial dialogue .
Deepen professional connections
Networking events are the perfect stage to apply the Benjamin Franklin Effect. Instead of sticking to small talk, target someone whose career trajectory or achievements resonate with you.
Engage them with a specific request that shows you value their expertise. Try, “Hi [Name], I’ve heard great things about your journey in [industry/role]. I’m grappling with [a specific challenge] in my work. Could I get your perspective on this, or any resources you’d recommend?” This not only breaks the ice but also sets the foundation for a relationship based on mutual respect and learning.
Benjamin Franklin Effect Examples in Action
Wondering how the Benjamin Franklin Effect works in different scenarios? Here are a few more examples:
- In the Workplace: Imagine you’re leading a project with a team member you haven’t connected with well. You decide to ask for their input on a critical aspect of the project. This act of seeking their expertise not only helps bridge the gap but also, due to the Benjamin Franklin Effect, may lead you to appreciate their contributions more, fostering a better working relationship.
- While Trying to Attract Someone: You’re interested in someone but haven’t made a strong connection yet. Instead of trying to impress them, ask for their help in choosing a gift for a friend, or seek their advice on a personal project. This vulnerability and the act of requesting their input can create a more favorable impression of you in their mind, potentially leading to a closer bond.
- Networking Events: At a professional gathering, rather than focusing on what you can gain, offer help or advice to someone else. This could be as simple as introducing them to a contact who can help with their business. This shift in dynamic, where you’re the one offering assistance, can make you more likable and memorable to them.
- Mentoring Relationships: As a mentor, instead of always being in the position of giving advice, ask your mentee for feedback on your mentoring style or suggestions on how to improve a presentation. This not only empowers the mentee but also, through the Benjamin Franklin Effect, enhances your own perception of the mentee, strengthening the mentor-mentee bond.
Benjamin Franklin Effect FAQs
Benjamin Franklin teaches us the power of diplomacy, intellectual curiosity, and practical wisdom. His approach to life and relationships, exemplified by the Benjamin Franklin Effect, shows that asking for a favor can paradoxically lead to a better relationship with the person from whom the favor is requested. This lesson extends beyond personal interactions, emphasizing the importance of humility, the value of seeking and sharing knowledge, and the impact of strategic thinking in both personal and professional relationships.
The reverse Benjamin Franklin Effect occurs when a person dislikes someone more after harming or mistreating them. This phenomenon is based on the idea that we justify our negative actions towards another person by further devaluing them in our minds. It’s the opposite of the original Benjamin Franklin Effect, where doing a favor for someone leads to increased positive feelings towards them. In this reverse effect, negative actions lead to increasingly negative perceptions, reinforcing a cycle of disfavor and justification.
Asking for a favor can be a powerful tool in building and enhancing relationships. It often leads to increased likeability due to the Benjamin Franklin Effect, where the person doing the favor may develop more positive feelings towards the requester.
Additionally, it creates a sense of goodwill and reciprocity, encouraging a cycle of mutual assistance. By showing vulnerability and trust in someone else’s ability to help, it builds trust and deepens the relationship. It also promotes cooperation and collaborative problem-solving, enhancing social bonds and fostering empathy as others gain a better understanding of your needs and perspectives.
Want more on how to build rapport with others? Check out this article: Digital Body Language: 24 Tips to Build Rapport (w/ Science)
Article sources
- https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407512449400
- https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224545.2015.1095706
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