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113 thoughts on “Praiseworthy Performance”

  1. Mark Call

    Vanessa is one of the BEST Non-Verbal Communication (Body Language) instructors available today. I have personally taken all of her Udemy on-line courses and the value is more than other courses I have invested 10 times more to attend. The content is spot on and she makes learning these techniques FUN and Easy. More importantly, she gives you immediate and actionable steps that you can effectively implement minutes after learning.

    Do not hesitate to jump in head first and lean these life long skills from Vanessa.
    Backed by science , not fluff….. She is the best!

    1. Carlos H. Castillo

      “One of the BEST Non-Verbal Communication (Body Language) instructors available today”, No question about it! I so admire you Vanessa 🙂

    2. Jonathan Woo

      I 100% agree with you! This site is like Dale Carnegie on steroids! I took 2 of her courses and I’m planning to take another one from her on udemy. She is super fun and quirky, which I think makes her presentations a lot more memorable.

      After watching her videos a month ago and actually getting results, it only ignited my childhood goal of being a peak performance trainer. I will continue to watch and learn from her and I suggest everyone that is a self improvement junkie like me to do the same.

      1. Danielle McRae

        Thanks for the support, Jonathan! We’re happy to have you as part of the Science of People community!

        Danielle | Science of People Team

  3. The watcher

    Vanessa is awesome! Great material, practical advice, clear succinct summaries of the salient points to remember. Looking forward to seeing more!

  4. sorel

    Greetings from Bolivia:

    Good morning dear bloggers, please be so kind to help me with a hand-face gesture I have difficulty understanding.

    What do you understand when the person in front of you puts his or her right hand on the side of the face like a pistol? (one or two fingers pointing up and the other fingers retracting partially covering the mouth, sometimes they could go along the left arm across the chest as a base for the “pistol” arm.

    Thank you very much!

    1. Vanessa Van Edwards

      Hi! Thanks for writing in. This is typically a gesture of judgment or critical contemplation!

    2. Anusha

      Sorel,

      I guess that person is probably bored of the conversation……I remember doing that in school and 1 of my teachers caught me and said ” I know you are bored but still pay attention” 🙂

    1. Danielle McRae

      Haha, Shobhit, practice what you preach! Thanks for reading. -Danielle and the Science of People Team

  6. Jose Cespedes

    I am doing rights and wrongs. I can’t even get acquainted to get a phone number. I need advice

  7. Iryn

    Thanks for the great help. I struggled in my stuttering for some time. I took some of your courses on udemy and it was the best thing. I can now see why I was stuttering. I notice that my body language showed a lot of nervousness. I took notice of my nervousness and correct it. Now if I am nervous I do some positive gestures in my body language to make myself happy and more open. I can now speak better and I am a much happier person. Thank you so much!!!

    1. Danielle McRae

      Iryn, what a wonderful testament! Thank you so much for sharing your story. We are thrilled to hear that the courses have helped in such a powerful way. -Danielle and the Science of People Team

  11. Ariane

    I absolutely fascinated about the subject of the ‘Science (and in depth study) of People! Thank you Vanessa for your great insight and also for making/teaching the things you have learned to us the general public!

    1. Danielle McRae

      Thank you for being a part of the Science of People Community, Ariane. We are glad you’re here! – Danielle and the Science of People Team

  12. mk1926

    I love your work.
    May i ask , how a person who uses these techniques, ever has a normal life. I mean knowing when loved one are lying, or being deceptive. And when they realize you suspect the lye, they avoid you. How does a person turn this off ?

    1. Danielle McRae

      Great question, mk1926. Our motto is to use these tools for good, not evil. With that said, however, it is like seeing the world in high definition. You have to be prepared to see a negative microexpression or red flag in conversation and know how to appropriately deal with it.

      What I have found since working with the Science of People, is that people don’t turn away or avoid me- they are absolutely fascinated by what we do. Most people (who are honest, good people) will want to learn more about the skills you have learned. If they avoid you because you can “read” them now, they probably aren’t individuals that you want to surround yourself with. Hope this helps! -Danielle and the Science of People Team

  13. Antonios

    Vanessa is a charismatic person, and an inspiring life-coach and teacher. I was watching and following her 30-days “Master Your People Skills” course at CreativeLive, and I have to admit that though the topic in itself sounded very interesting, at the beginning I was very skeptical (if not critical!) about her. However, the more days I was watching her and following her course, the more I was realizing her charisma and the power of what she has (and wants) to share and offer me. She found herself to be at the other side of people skills at her early years, so watching her transformation to a super-communicator means she is a living example of her teaching.

    Though I am at a very low point in my personal and professional life, where every penny really counts right now, before this course got finished I knew Vanessa’s course was the best investment I could ever make in myself. Then I happily pushed that blue ‘buy’ button and made Vanessa’s hard-won knowledge mine. Heartfelt thanks Vanessa.

    1. Danielle McRae

      Antonios, Vanessa and I both thank you so much for being a part of the Science of People community. We are very happy that the courses and material have helped to make you the best version of yourself! -Danielle and the Science of People Team

  14. Loren

    For some reason I seem have a knack for seeing things with in people. Inadvertently it has caused problems for me in the past. There have been a couple memorable conversations that have gone something like this.
    Me: What’s wrong ‘Glenn’ you look like something serious is bothering you. Are you ok?”
    ‘Glenn”: “Nope. Everything is fine.” Later ‘Glen’ came to me rather upset.
    ‘Glenn’: “Who have you been talking to!? Who told you!?”
    Me: Told me what? I could just tell something is bothering you.”
    ‘Glenn’: “BS! Someone told you!”
    Me: “Honest! I have no idea WHAT is wrong, I can just tell something is wrong. Something very serious.”
    ‘Glenn’ never did open up to me and tell me what was wrong. Due to this seemingly innocent conversation ‘Glenn’ avoided me from then on. It is due to this and similar conversations and interactions I have become extremely interested in psychology, body language, facial expressions, micro expressions, and neurological linguistics. I find it fascinating that regardless of cultural and linguistic heritage there is one universal language. that of body language. A shrug in any language is the universal signal for, “I don’t know.”

  15. Maryjane Post

    My question is, how do you deal with a border line psychopath? Like how can you tell if they are being truthful or not? How can you figure out a person who has like no feelings at all?

    1. Jeanmaire Manelski

      You don’t, if you really feel that you are dealing with a borderline psychopath, then if correct, this person has difficulty with attachment, trust, empathy, doesn’t experience guilt and lies readily to get what he/she needs. Why would you choose to relate to someone like this? If it’s necessary through work or other obligations, try to avoid sharing any personal information, keep conversation to a minimum and remain guarded, set and communicate clear expectations for behavior in order to allow this person to interact with you. Good luck!

  17. IknowU

    Looking forward to learning more. Think that this could be invaluable to me and my hubby. I own a paralegal company servicing clients all over the US and my hubby is a homicide detective. We are looking to expand my company and offer something for my husband to do offer when he retires. His nickname is the human lie detector. Seems that people just WANT to tell him their story and he is SOOOO good at telling when people are lying. We’ve always joked how he has a “sixth” sense for this type of thing. Of course raising 4 kids wasn’t fun for them because Dad ALWAYS knew when they were lying. Very excited 🙂

    1. Danielle McRae

      Whoa! That sounds like the perfect partnership! We are so excited to have you as part of the Science of People community. Welcome!

      -Danielle & The Science of People Team

  19. Danielle McRae

    Hi Andrew! What course are you attempting to start? Your name and email are for the SOP newsletter. Courses are separate.

    – Danielle & The Science of People Team

  20. Yada Dykstra

    Her videos are my go to – they always bump up my confidence before any interview or public appearance. With Vanessa’s videos I really believe charisma and leadership can be learned!
    Now the question is how to make all of Vanessa’s knowledge into habits?

  24. Richard

    Great stuff Vanessa! I’m liking all the good stuff on the free videos so much that I just signed up for the “Master Your People Skills” online course!

        1. Danielle McRae

          Hi Richard, Vanessa does not have another course scheduled on Creative Live at this time. You will be watching the pre-recorded videos of the course with any-time and offline access. I recommend you purchase the course now! -Danielle

  26. Gwen Sweeney Smith

    I had the pleasure of listening to Vanessa at a women in networking event last night and I can honestly say it was the highlight of my evening! She is absolutely amazing, I think I could listen to her speak for hours and hours on end!! Definitely going to be looking into more of her research 🙂

    1. Danielle McRae

      I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed the event, Gwen! Welcome to the Science of People community!

      -Danielle & The Science of People Team

  27. Tomasz Skibinski

    Dear Vanessa,
    I admire your so practical advice and tips about body language. I practice my body language.
    I hope we will benin touch.
    Kindly Regards,
    Doc Tomasz Skaba
    Poland.

  28. Shana Compton

    I have been waiting for Vanessa to announce the training program for her second round of trainers. Does anybody know when it is going to start?

    1. Danielle McRae

      Hi Shana! The 2nd Class of Trainers starts 6/15! We’ll be releasing all of the details in the next few days, so stay tuned! 🙂

      Danielle | Science of People Team

      1. Shana Compton

        Thank you so much for the information. I will mark it on my calendar! I am soooo excited!

  29. Caleb

    She is doing it to try and teach you. I agree it’s distracting, but if you can’t recgonize it you can you learn it.

  31. Chandramouli Uma

    Hi Vanessa, recently i stumbled across your videos in YOUTUBE with regard to non verbal communication and i would say, it was immensly useful, it helps me to a very large extent in my profession of Advocate. I have altered my postures and gestures and that has skyrocketed my confidence through body language which i could sense from the way others looks at me. I am yet to implement decoding female gestures, once done i will ping you with results, hopefully positve ones. Warm Regds. Mouli

  32. Joash Machuka

    Hi vanessa? i admire your practical teachings, i personally i have improved especially in my field of sales and marketing why lie!!!! Good job..more interestingly it has worked here in Africa..what a motivation speaker.hope we will get in touch soon.

  33. Cherry Persaud

    Hello Vanessa! Thank you millions, for your amazing training. You, and all the instructors at Udemy, offered. Everyone, are awesome! In a heartbeat, I definitely will recommend some of your courses, along with those at Udemy. I find it very intriguing, educational, motivating, and inspiring. You have your student’s words, without a doubt, you have made many positive differences in the lives of many others. You have full fill and taught us more than we have anticipated. I am indeed grateful for such unconditional care you have displayed. Your training exceeded, beyond many expectations. a world of gratitude to you. Looking forward for completing more fantastic courses. I find myself practicing some of your moves, in a progressive, and positive manner.
    A world of gratitude.

    1. Danielle McRae

      Hi Cherry! Thank you so so much for the kind words! We are so happy to have you as part of our Community!

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  34. Hussam Arif

    Vanessa, u have been a best person I’m here too. I shouldn’t say this , but I’m in love with your talks and espically the energy,the crasmatic way , that’s awesome.please keep going.!!

    1. Danielle McRae

      Hi, Hussam! Vanessa and I both are so happy to have you as part of the Science of People Community! 🙂

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  36. Pallavi Biyani Malani

    hey I would like to take up your online body language course. Do let me know the details.
    Regards
    pallavi

  37. Cherry Persaud

    Thank You Vanessa! I do love the way you teach us, unconditionally. It makes life a lot more meaningful, and happier. Looking forward to growth, and learning. One thing I hope they fix at Udemy, is the way of payment. I tried several times previously, to make payment for some other courses, but I couldn’t go through the process then, despite I used several payment options……So I end up loosing out on the special price for some of the courses that meant a lot to me. However that’s not the end for me, I’ll proceed and continue, improving my knowledge, and following my writing dreams.

  39. Cynthia Pena

    I’ve taken a Udemy course Vanessa taught and can’t begin to tell you how many valuable insights it has provided me. I’m looking forward to learning many more. She’s totally entertaining as well as informative. I would absolutely love to become a Body Language Instructor.

  40. Malinda

    I truly am interested in taking the upcoming corse. I am concerned about my chances though because I do not currently participate in social media (never really had a reason to) how much will this effect my application.

  41. BlackBirdWoman

    Wow.. I loved your course. I hope to take another one soon. It is amazing the things people do to hide their true feelings. This is something I could think about as a profession.. Thank you so much.

  42. Alex

    You d think deaf pple would be the teachers and the best at this , since thats their way of communication is non verbal

  44. davidwraith

    I’m pretty sure Vanessa created this position for herself. She offers a course in being a body language instructor, but I think it only happens once a year, and is only open to people who are active on the Science of People message boards.

  45. Barbara Gonzalez

    Vanessa,
    Loving my Body Language for Entrepreneurs Udemy video course. I am almost finish with it and planning to watch it again. It’s so interesting to find out the message we give other through our non-verbal cues.
    Thank you so much for the knowledge!!
    Barbara

    1. Danielle McRae

      Hi Barbara! Vanessa and I both are so happy to hear you are enjoying the course. Thank you for being a part of the Science of People community! 🙂

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  47. P C McCloud

    Let us never underestimate the power of your words. They will eventually produce a harvest of either blessing and health or sickness and destruction in your life and get you choose. Words are basically electromagnetic life forces that shape your world because they have creative ability. Genesis 1:27,” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” What you confess over your life is what your life will become.

  48. Danielle McRae

    You should have received an email with the course information. If not please email us here.

    Danielle | Science of People Team

  50. Stuart K.

    It is good we are having lively discourse on this. If sarcasm is truly unwelcome, why was “Seinfeld” so popular? That show was all about 4 sarcastic people going on about life’s injustices. If you watch the reruns, you will see that when the audience applauded most was when Jerry went on rants to tangle with people in authority who abuse it. Case in point is the car rental place that didn’t hold his car [Jerry: “You give your name, so you hold my car. What good is having my name, if it’s not attached to the car?”]

    Comedy is ALL about sarcasm (unless it’s on animal jokes or word puns, which no adult likes). It is there to take on an ironic and unjust world. Yes, it can be annoying and sometimes hurtful, but, in the hands of a master, such as Dane Cook, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, etc. it is a weapon to fight those who hold the sword over our heads. And how do they hold it? Through POLITENESS. Don’t you know bosses who are so polite but who ask us to do unreasonable tasks? Or people trying to sell something to you that you don’t want? Well, they are so glib, but they use politeness to force US to be so too. Then they keep us in that mode, while they go in for the kill. For these people, sarcasm is an appropriate defense (if you can get away with it).

    Have you ever noticed that The Bible has no humor? I challenge all of you to find one example of sarcasm or humor in The Book. There is none because those sages and scribes took on the villains directly…with threats of God’s wrath (famine, plague, wars, etc.). And Revelations uses metaphor (though not humor). But today power is so complex and insidious that we need to take it on in a way that can alienate the power structure without alienating the people. And that is sarcasm.

    I once saw an exhibit about art from The Holocaust. One artist had a strange style. He made a sketch diary of his time in Drancy deportation camp by using Mickey Mouse as his alter ego, and the sardonic commentary about how nice this “sleepaway camp” was seemed more effective because it was a cartoon. Art Spiegelman’s *Maus* is a better example. If those artists said, “Hey, these death camps are horrible,” it would not have the impact of the wry comics.

    Humor is one of the abilities that makes us human. Without this release, we bottle up aggression until it comes out either through indirect ways or maybe even in direct aggression, breakdown, even psychosis. As to those perky people – don’t they use irony too? Those bosses I mentioned who took the organizational psychology seminars – don’t they rag on their co-workers in those little birthday parties they have with the ice cream cakes? “Maybe you’ll finally learn to put your tie on straight, Bob!”

    Group therapy encourages participants to bring in all of their emotions and not hold back for fear of seeming impolite. This causes genuine engagement, and then healing.

    It’s when we do away with sarcasm that we are in trouble of becoming false smiling drones, and we know it. On the *Mary Tyler Moore* show even Mary needed a Rhoda.

    Here’s the deal: When those in power who abuse it quit the little tricks they use to keep kicking us in the ***, and then smiling those smarmy little smiles about it – and force us to smile back – I’ll stop my sarcasm. Until then, when someone tells me to go skipping down the primrose path, I’m going to tell them to hire a better mason.

  51. Caroline Knight

    Ive really just started my journey with Vanessa and have taken to a few courses now and I’m already really impressed with her methods, her knowledge base and how she engages with her audience. Definitely a fan!

    1. Danielle McRae

      Hey there Caroline! We are so happy to have you as part of the Science of People community!

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  52. gab123

    Hi Vanessa, what advice would you give in terms of responding to compliments. I just say thanks and the sometimes feel awkward what to say afterwards.

    1. Danielle McRae

      Hey there! This is such a great question. I got some great advice from a woman a few months ago. We were video chatting and at the end of the call, she said “You are so beautiful.” Because I get awkward with compliments, I said “You too!” She recommended that when I receive a compliment, I simply say “thank you.” Responding with another compliment or a “you too” can seem a little disingenuous. I hope this helps!

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  53. Terry S. Smith

    Like her INNER CHI and that inspires me to want to work with her. Vanessa is really talking about vibration but Science of People is easier to understand.

  54. Johnatan VasSan

    Hey vanessa! And all the science of people team i have subscribed for 3 or so times… I want to receive the course by email if that’s consequent from the landing page. Congratulations for great job you do! Kisses and hugs from Mexico city!
    John vassanki themison@gmail.com

  55. Lauren

    Yes, do share bc i am good at both behavioral awareness and investigating and I am naturally nosey.. I mean curious.. Haha jk but seriously is that something you created to utilize your skills or is there a program for that niche? Honestly am interested.

  59. Rania Mait

    every post you impress me dear .. i’d like to follow your posts even i don’t have much time to practise all the awesome parts you share ( i’d always like to investigate why i have time to read with passion but i don’t find that time to practise 😛 )

    1. Danielle McRae

      Thank you for being an avid reader, Rania! And try practicing one new tip a week– that works for me so I don’t get too overwhelmed! 🙂

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  62. Governor Muomaife

    I’m very passionate about learning about people… I would love to benefit from this experience

  63. Diane Regan

    I just had a friend ask me about an issue they have noticed and wanted some advice. So I am reaching out to this awesome community for your thoughts and insights. They said they have noticed when they are out with small group of people the speaker generally doesn’t look at them. They may glance over every once in a while and look at my friend but for the most part they look at the other people in the group. This happens with different groups of people too! Even when she is out with her close friends the eye contact typically goes to the other participants! Any ideas on body language she can use to feel like she is part of the conversation. She is feeling left out. Thanks for your thoughts and insights.

    2. breonA

      Hmm maybe she could participate in the conversation more. The other people could be getting more eye contact because they talk the most so people remember them. This used to happen to me, even with my own mother. I was so quiet as a child my mother would constantly forget i was there. When i began talking more people would remember me. You dint have to blab abouy youtself but can ask questions and get to know the other people more. If she is talking the most such as asking questions and sharing her experiences and they are still not looking at her it is because they are doing that on purpose.

    3. David Gilbert

      As an integrative therapist and public speaker I’ve noticed speakers tend to give the most eye contact to those who are giving the most verbal and non verbal feedback. Leaning into the conversation, nodding from time to time, maintaining eye contact, having an open body language (not having your arms crossed), asking questions or requesting clarification are all likely to get you more attention.

    1. Danielle McRae

      Yay! We’re happy to have you as part of the Science of People community, Janiya!

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  67. Betzi

    I want to know what’s mean cleaning the eyes when the people are answer the question?

    1. Danielle McRae

      Hi Betzi, cleaning or rubbing eyes is typically a type of blocking behavior. It usually means the person is uncomfortable with answering the question. Keep in mind, their eyes may be itchy so context is key!

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  68. Christy De Wolfe

    I have listened to many of your YouTube interviews and find so much of what you share to be interesting. I know people that are narcissistic and they blame of theirs for their failuresupport and refuse to take responsibility for themselves.
    I am a real estate agent – any insight on winning more client’s rather selling their home or helping them purchase a home?

  69. Jezebelisgone

    I’m not easily persuaded by most on-line communication experts, classes or mailing lists. I received a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications with an emphasis in human behavior years ago and that has gotten me… Well, um, somewhere (?). In order to really achieve true communication skills and knowledge is by educating yourself constantly. If you’re a people watcher you’re already doing it. But if a real love and thirst

    1. Danielle McRae

      Awesome! Welcome to the community, Angie!

      Danielle | Science of People Team

  72. JoseMaria

    I don’t talk much, I over think things a lot, I love being around people but I don’t say anything to get anybody interested or excited. I also cannot seem to focus on tasks. please I need your advice

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