Do you have a toxic person in your life?

Draining, unsupportive, and difficult people are one of life’s greatest challenges. In this post, I want to talk about how you can spot, stop, and deal with the toxic people who come into your life. You deserve to have people in your life that you enjoy spending time with, that support you, and that you LOVE hanging out with.

Here’s the problem: Guilt

Whenever I talk about toxic people, the same categories seem to crop up over and over again:

  • Friend by History: This is a person whom you have known forever. Maybe you went to elementary school together, or you were neighbors growing up. Now you feel guilty ending the relationship. 
  • Friend by Proximity: This is a person who comes as a package with someone else in your life. Maybe it’s your partner’s best friend, or your friend’s brother who always tags along, or your best friend’s childhood friend. You feel guilty because you don’t want to put your person in an awkward situation.
  • Friend by Context: This is a person who you see all the time in a specific area of your life–someone you work with everyday… someone on your flag football team… someone who lives across the hall. You feel guilty brushing them off because you see them all the dang time.

Sometimes these relationships are casual, but other times they can grow rotten. You end up keeping someone in your life who is jealous or has a totally different set of ethics, and that is when they become toxic.

The 7 Types of Toxic People

Here are the 7 types of toxic people to watch out for:

The Conversational Narcissist

Have you ever been talking to someone who keeps interrupting you? Maybe I should revise that sentence: have you ever been trying to talk to someone who won’t let you get a word in? Conversational narcissists LOVE to talk about themselves—or just hear themselves talk. They don’t ask you any questions, they don’t wait for your responses, and they won’t shut up. In a relationship, these people will end up being completely self-centered, and will never be attentive to your needs.

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The Strait Jacket

The straitjacket is someone who wants to control everything and everyone around them. They want to be in charge of what you do, what you say, and even what you think. You know the person I am talking about––they freak out when you disagree with them, and won’t stop trying to convince you that they are right and you should do what they say. In a relationship, this person will give you no breathing room and will constantly nag you until you are in complete alignment with them. Be careful, these people will go after your emotional, conversational, and mental freedom until you have nothing left. Get out while you can!

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The Emotional Moocher

An emotional moocher is also known as a “spiritual vampire,” because they tend to suck the positivity out of you or bleed you emotionally dry. These are the people who always have something sad, negative, or pessimistic to say. In conversations and relationships, they can never see the positive, and tend to bring everyone down with them. If you’re with someone and they only have bad things to say whenever you see them, watch out; it might not get better.

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The Drama Magnet

Some toxic people are magnets for drama. Something is always wrong. Always. And of course, once a problem is solved, another one emerges. And they only want your empathy, sympathy, and support–but not your advice! You offer help and solutions, but they never seem to want to fix anything. Instead, they complain and complain. In a relationship, drama magnets are victims and thrive in a crisis, because it makes them feel important. If someone is a beacon for adversity, watch out, you might one day become part of the drama.

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The JJ

A JJ is a jealous-judgmental person. My friends and I can spot a JJ from a mile away, and I want to show you how to as well. Jealous people are incredibly toxic because they have so much self-hate that they can’t be happy for anyone around them. And typically, their jealousy comes out as judgment, criticism, or gossip. According to them, everyone else is awful, uncool, or lacking in some way. If someone starts to gossip jealously about other people, watch out, this might be a toxic person—and you never know what they say about you behind your back.

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The Fibber

I had a lot of liars in my life before I learned human lie detection. Liars, fibbers, exaggerators… it’s exhausting to have a toxic deceiver in your life. Whether they tell little falsehoods or major lies, it’s impossible to trust a liar in a relationship. Dishonesty drains us because we are constantly doubting their words. If your intuition is ringing alarm bells, then watch out; get out before you’re lied to.

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The Tank

A tank crushes everything in its wake. A human tank is always right, doesn’t take anyone else’s feelings or ideas into account, and constantly puts themselves first. In a relationship, tanks are incredibly arrogant and see their personal opinions as facts. This is because they often think they are the smartest person in the room, so they see every conversation and person as a challenge that must be won over. They rarely see others as equals—and this can be challenging when trying to form a loving connection. If you feel your ideas are being run over, or you are not being respected, get out while you still can!

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How to Deal with Toxicity

Did someone pop into your head as I explained these toxic personality types? If you have someone in your life whom you dread seeing, who doesn’t respect your opinions, or who makes you feel bad about yourself in any way, then you need to just say no. 

Do you feel:

  • You have to constantly save this person and fix their problems
  • You are covering up or hiding for them
  • You dread seeing them
  • You feel drained after being with them
  • You get angry, sad or depressed when you are around them
  • They cause you to gossip or be mean
  • You feel you have to impress them
  • You’re affected by their drama or problems
  • They ignore your needs and don’t hear ‘no’

You deserve to have wonderful, supportive and loving people in your life. In fact, life is too short to spend time with people who don’t help you be your best self. I hope you will use this article as your immunization against toxic people!

About Vanessa Van Edwards

Vanessa Van Edwards is a national best selling author & founder at Science of People. Her groundbreaking book, Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People has been translated into more than 16 languages. As a recovering awkward person, Vanessa helps millions find their inner charisma. She regularly leads innovative corporate workshops and helps thousands of individual professionals in her online program People School. Vanessa works with entrepreneurs, growing businesses, and trillion dollar companies; and has been featured on CNN, BBC, CBS, Fast Company, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine, USA Today, the Today Show and many more.

51 replies on “7 Types of Toxic People and How to Spot Them”

  1. Chuck

    I’m married with two kids and my wife is very toxic. What seemed things that could improve with time only got worse to an incredible extent. It’s tough. It made me grow a lot through meditation and self inquiry. I’d leave if I could but I love my children, they are 7 and 9 and they get it. They are victims too but they live their mother. By only satisfaction when I confront her is that I capture all her attention and she doesn’t lashes out on the kids so it protects them. I’m making plans to propose an amicable separation but I know it’s gonna be hard because she’s vengeful. She stopped her own mother and sister to see the children for 5 years. I was the one who brought them back. It’s hard. Sometimes I lose it. But I will keep meditating and growing. But I feel I also need to therapy.

  2. Akari

    First, I want to thank you for the article that you published. It is really an eye opener for me.

    I am currently inside a certain dilemma right now, dealing with a friend who feels too entitled , simply because she is older than me, she was my classmate back in the University, she is my close friend’s big sister and my roommate for 6 months already due to the lockdown. I am in my 20’s and currently held a position at work. This “friend” happens to be under my supervision.
    Yet she always wants to bring our friendship at work.
    She will be too dramatic if new rules and announcements will be posted. She will message me, telling that it’s too much and rants all about it, she even did all these in a sarcastic way. She always told me like it’s bad to always follow company rules, that I just love the company too much because of my position. I just turn deaf ear and try to understand her side since I am responsible for her as her leader,I raised her concern everytime she has one and it turns out I’m the bad one after that.Worse is , she becomes my roommate because of the lockdown. I’ve been putting up with her for 6 months and counting. She often confronts and blames me, she will often throw shades at me, especially when my other roommates are around. She doesn’t want to talk to me directly when it’s only the two of us inside the room, it seems like she needs audience everytime she rants. I was almost done with the stage where I care too much for her because she’s my temporary roommate. I started not to care but it hurts to be excluded, to feel unwanted eventhough I did not do anything wrong. I was wondering sometimes what’s wrong with following company rules, raising concerns if necessary. Oftentimes, when she throw shades again and again , I just stay silent , I don’t want to waste my energy anymore explaining again and again and trying to let her understand my side.
    So , I recently bought a pair of headset because of this and I enclosed myself in a protective shell. I put barrier and will just stay as silent as possible whenever she throws shades at me. I become a kill joy person when I’m inside our room. But I still act civil in front of her and ask questions whenever I needed to. I am slowly turning into an introvert and I feel like I am being caged already. I want to leave this place before I will lose my sanity and myself but I can’t for now.
    I often cry myself to sleep. I feel like did I really did something wrong to ruin a friendship.Why is it too difficult for her to understand things, this is not the first time she did this , this past 6 months, too many times already that I came to the point where I just got fed up, I will not say I don’t care about because I still do.All I want is for her not to bring our misunderstanding at work in our room, because right now, the room is my only haven but she’s slowly turning it into an undesirable place to stay. And I can’t let that happen.
    I really don’t know if ignoring her and being civil will make a difference or I should talk to her alone again to bring back our friendship.

  3. Cecelia

    I wasn’t aware I had a toxic co-worker/friend until recently. We were both at the same place in our lives at one time (worked from home–had three kids the same age). We run in the same social circles for work. One of our other social friends sent a group email out asking for advise on a certain vendor. Right away, my coworker replied with a suggestion. I also replied later asking if she knew another vendor for her situation. My coworker immediately responded back to me that she took care of the problem already with our social friend . As if I am a 6th grader being told to stay out of a certain group! I responded back to her “wow!. She asked for suggestions and I gave her my idea”. And other things..snide remarks to me how she didnt’ how “I was that busy at work!” ( I won an award) She secretly competes with me..takes courses after she finds out I have taken them.
    What an eye opener! I’ve been ghosting her for the weeks now. She is constantly calling me for ‘help’ ( which I now see a way to convince me she is a victim in some fashion).
    When I think back on past conversations, she has a way to play the victim “why does he like you and not me?” “Why do they respond to you and not me?” “What did I do wrong that he screamed at me on the phone”. So many things that sadly, I didn’t know I was being used and played. No more. I can’t believe I am 60 years old and having to deal with a woman who has a 6th grade maturity level. Good grief.

  4. Teresa

    I’ve been in a relationship for 3 yrs.
    Always getting hope to : taking me out, spending time with me. But instead all I’ve received are lies Giving without receiving till my immune system is now weak. I’m depressed Unsure of myself Low self esteem and drained when he feels the need to see me All I have done is cry for the last 3 yrs He ignored my birthday Went in a trip with so called friends Which I found out to be a lie. Now getting help from hospital counseling:) it was hard for me to believe people can be so selfish and cruel

  5. Jesse Silva

    Question: What if the better answer to dealing with toxic people is to increase our skills so that no form of toxicity affects us internally? Wouldn’t that be the antidote to toxic behavior? It seems an odd path to remove people from your life that you blame for your feelsing inside, doesn’t it?

  6. Subs

    Hi, I commend those who could identify some of these toxic traits within themselves. I was actually doing a search on why people would always be mean to me and avoid me and why my relationships with other people always end up a desaster. I am a toxic person seeing in this article what I see. The only close friend I have is another toxic person. Thank God for lockdown! I am now frantically searching for an antidote, remedy or medication, as I read this can be neurological. Help!

    1. starryskies

      My friend who is toxic is actually has a friend that is toxic also i gave up on her because she posted a conversation with her toxic friend and the topic was me she forgot to blur out my name. She’s a best friend of mine from elementary and i’m turning 30 in my life time i just want to avoid and detox from things that will cause me unnecessary stress all that i read about in this article fits her i always have to fix her and her problems even her decision making she always always have problems she can’t seem to get away from she lies and cheat but enough is enough she have done me wrong so many times this one is the last i love her but i can’t be with her life goes on.

  7. Mikayla Atkins

    For many years I’ve visited my mom a few times throughout the year who lives with what used to be a pretty close friend of hers but obviously not now and her unbearable and disrespectful kids who have no care for anyone but themselves.
    I can’t tell if they’re all tanks or fibbers or drama magnets because everyday is a new episode of chaos and disgusting behavior.
    For one, they all lie! No seriously, every single one of them. None of them ever own up to their actions and always seem to pin the blame on someone else. Every time there is an issue it’s so hard to ask them of simple things without them coming to the conclusion that they could possibly be responsible.
    The mom in particular never gives any help to my mom and always puts herself and her kids first even though my mom has extended a hand to them multiple times when in desperate need of medical and financial stability. Not once has my mom ever asked for the money back, all anyone could ever expect is a little decency to take the time out of their day to ask how she’s doing or if she needs something.
    Last but not least, everyday Is literally a new chapter of stress and a non-stop continuation of poor and childish behavior. There is never a day where things are going smoothly when suddenly, BAMB out of no where there is ether a disaster and everything turns to absolute agony. Not only that, but when they in particular feel sad, upset or angry with one another they need to make everyone else in the room feel the same way even when it has nothing to do with them.

    I know these are toxic people because these occurrences don’t happen just once a month or week, this kind of horrid behavior is literally EVERY day. It doesn’t stop. Unfortunately my mom is in a tuff situation where she is stuck living with them at the moment, but please if you or you know someone who is a victim to these TOXIC people please help them or let them into your heart. Now I too have become a victim to this disgusting environment and I feel sick to my stomach knowing my mom may not ever get out. My heart is broken to others who also have to endure this type of environment.
    If only there was a way to cure this kind of behavior. Now I know why we are always fighting at each other and not with each other. No wonder why we have the issues we have today.

    With love,
    Mikayla 🤍

    1. Mary Jo Camacho

      As I was reading about toxic people I read Mikayla what you shared.And I could not only feel you’re pain and concern for you’re mom. And I could also relate emotionaly to what you’re mom is feeling…And about 10 years ago I met this woman who I found very intrigueing. And at times I would share with her things that I would be going through at that moment. I will never forget the very first phrase to me was ” Now M.J. I want to ask you something you don’t need to answere me .I just want you think about this ? . Me : ok . ” What part did you play in this situation ?'” I walked away a little puzzled but for ever greatful for the way she would help me see and understand myself , sometimes others. And it’s beautiful that we can understand accountability. I found myself using her methods to help and teach my children. 1 day my daughter told me mom you’re so smart mom if people could think like you life would be so easy. She made me feel so amazing , but I had to tell her the truth with all honesty. I said to her ” Baby (I laughed) I have not all ways been that smart, life , age , has taught me so much about life my life about me. It also taught me how to be a better mother through experiences with you’re grandmother. And it also taught me to work on me and not point fingers. And I will be abetter person or mom then I was yesterday. She smiled lovingly at me. Then I shared with her my greatest tools were 1. Be open minded 2. stay teachable 3. most important be willing…Back to toxic as I read about toxic people I learned that at some point in my life I was too. And when I think back I remembered asking myself ? What role or part did I play in those situations. There were times when the light bulb didnt turn. And at times my daughter had to play my rewind tape. And I still didnt get it. Till I got so tired of hearing the victim, drama, poor me. And I would get so tired of it and how it was affecting me and who I was and I didnt want to turn into them that I realized that only I could change my situation no matter how hard it was gonna be and sometimes it was hard but I did it. No lie my children helped me and wewre teaching me as well. They helped me remember who I was. And I can say still working on all of my life but I stay focused on positivity and I remember we can”t help people who dont want to help themselves. And yes you are on point they will suck the life out of…And I will pray for youre mom cause I had to live with people who were I thought my freinds untill I remembered I am my best freind..Thanking for sharing youre story with me.

  8. Rose

    I, myself is a toxic type of person. I tend to send negativity to other people. I easily pinpoint someone else’s fault which made them turn their back to me, that i am experiencing right now. In return they are causing toxicity in my life. I don’t how i am going to deal with them. I don’t want to run from this problem.

    1. Elizabeth

      What is so fascinating about toxicity is that those who tend to find (or is it “seek”) toxic people in their lives are usually toxic themselves. Toxicity can quickly become an echo chamber or a hall of mirrors. It does take two to tango.

      I grew up in an alcoholic household. People in the orbit of addicts become enmeshed in the complex stew of deception needed in order to keep the addiction satisfied. You can see whole families living in service of this. And the resulting toxicity often becomes intergenerational trauma, since there’s a genetic component to addiction.

      Learning to root out —really, not respond to—manipulation and toxicity when it’s present in your life requires a removal of oneself and quiet meditation. We have to try to listen to ourselves with the remove of an objective observer. We have to listen for the voice inside us that knows what is healthy—and maybe more importantly, recognizes how we are complicit in controlling others or being controlled by them. You have to really want to be happy and healthy and it’s going to be hard.

      I’m learning the science of people and I’m so glad you’re offering such solid tools to people so they can learn. But I think the most important tool is self reflection. Toxic people are always going to be in the world doing their thing, but how and why are you finding them? How are you responding to them? Maybe these are the questions that will machete through the weeds of toxicity so we can live in the light.

  9. Kate

    My sister is s straightjacket. A total control freak. I love her but I dread being slone with her because she would put me down and try to control everything I say and do.
    She doesn’t like it when I din’t do what she says or when I don’t invite her to do things with me. She cannot see her controlling behavior nor does she try to fix it .
    My best option is to avoid her as much as I can. It’s sad but I put up with it for do long I xannot bear it anymore.

    1. sandy

      Kate sorry to hear that you are having such difficulty with your sister. But in my opinion the best thing to do is sit her down and tell her.

  10. Henrik Sørensen

    Maybe an following article about how to become a less toxic person ? What to do and what to do not. How do you grow away from toxicity ?

    1. paul

      pay attention to your behavior around others. Ask yourself. is this the way I would like to be treated? Think before you speak or act. Those are some tips.

    2. gretel

      As someone who grew up in a really toxic family and repeated that pattern in many relationships… I would say to people who believe they´re toxic… consider how much damage you´re doing every single time you put your negativity onto others…. not only because it does so much psychological harm to others, but because no health person will want to be around you. If you realize that you´re toxic, you already know that your anger and resentment is harmful. So make the decision to address it rather than harm others with that negativity.

  11. Vijay

    A fantastic article I will share with all my non-toxic friends! Thank you for the tips on how to identify and deal with the toxic people in our lives. You are right, we all deserve to only be around supportive people who will help us to become our best selves.

  12. I know this is about spotting toxicity in other people, but what if you show some of these traits? I have shown signs of 2, 3, and 4. It was more so pronounced after childhood, going into college and being in a different environment from my mother (very toxic traits). I have a very patient and loving boyfriend, and we’ve been together for 3.5 years. The intensity of the signs I used to show is practically gone, but I still see them come up every now and then. I do currently live with my mother while I finish school. Could the signs I’m displaying be from the relationship I have with my mother? Is there ways I can figure out the toxicity in myself and correct it so I can have better relationships, particularly for my relationship with my boyfriend and self-health?

    1. Nancy

      Yes sade. The first thing I noticed with you is that you recognize that there’s a problem and want to fix it. Try paying close attention to your behavior around mom and boyfriend. Check your responses and attitude before speaking or acting. And also positive communication is a major key to healthy relationships.
      Try talking to mom about some of those childhood memories or things that concern you in your relationship with your bf Hope this helps.

  13. A fantastic article I will share with all my non-toxic friends! Thank you for the tips on how to identify and deal with the toxic people in our lives. You are right, we all deserve to only be around supportive people who will help us to become our best selves.

  14. Gordon

    Should I share Vanessa’s ‘7 types of toxic people’ video, with the toxic people in my life? THAT is the question.

  15. rebecca owen

    After reading several postings of toxic people I began to think that maybe I am a “toxic” person… some symptoms apply, others are not me. For example I am a pretty honest person, my home has always been open to my friends and my kids friends.. I am pretty concerned about people, eg. homeless people, or minority people on public transportation.. but… I do come into a room like a storm, and do request to eat where I would prefer, or a movie I prefer.. I do share all the things that befall me, bureaucratically, financilly.. bills and things..and about some relationships. I always apologize when I do or say something wrong …after reviewing same.. and yet my family mainly treat me like a toxic person.. and yet, I have always had good friends in every city or country or school I went to. In fact, some friends date back to my first 20 years, others, the next, and so I am 80 and barely surviving.. So am I toxic? I know I am often depressed for good reason and lonely.. though I do love to read and go to my park, or a movie, but not so much to another person’s house to be indoors.. cause I like being home alone.

    1. Ethan T Staton

      I Hope you have a good life sir, this one has been probably so cruel and unfair to you in many ways, I just hope you find peace in whats left here. I think being toxic, even a little, doesn’t matter, we’ve all been there before and even some of us live as such, in small or bigger ways. To me I’m toxic, yet told I’m a good person by a lot of friends and family members, they have triats of being toxic as well, but are some of the best people I’ve ever known, they are toxic to an extent; but I still very much love them. The truth is, everyone has been toxic and non-toxic, just matters to you who you live with or decide to talk to, there’s nothing inherently wrong in being this way, so long as nobody is overly hurt by it, and even then when would anybody know who’s right and who’s wrong? It’s up to us as individuals to decide that, and choose who we want to spend our lives with. Take care and rest well friend🍁

    2. perry don

      Hi Rebecca. There’s a difference between toxic and assertive. Sounds to me that you just have a strong personality. Maybe a boss or have a leadership roll at work/office. Sometimes people get stuck in those work rolls after doing it for so long and bring them back to the family and friends. “You need a vacation”

    3. Andrew Ferrier

      No. You’re not toxic, you’re human. Sometimes we are the center of our on reality, and for that family members really do need their space. Let them be the center of their own lives. Don’t worry if they have tendencies which could make you feel like they have to purposefully try to be away from you. A strong personality does have it’s setbacks for some gravitationally speaking. You’ll find that they are always still with you along lives journey. Families are like that (which is a reality they have already acknowledged, hence their tendencies.) Just do what you do, forge ahead onto new friendships. Which I’m certain you will come to find over time are also lifelong ones.

  16. Gustavo M.G.

    Hi Vanessa!
    Your video is great!
    I read quite a lot about this kind of people but your explanation is the best.
    I also ask to myself: What can we do if the toxic person is an important client? Or perhaps a boss?
    Bye, Bye and nice to see you again.

  17. These are great, Vanessa. As I talk to people about health, understanding how to recognize toxic people can be a difference between falling into a depression a living a happy healthy life. Toxic people’s influence can actually manifest in stress-related physical symptoms, from insomnia, to weight gain, to cardiovascular issues.
    I’m definitely sharing this with my community! You are awesome, as always.

  18. Carlos

    Hi, that’s realy serious stuff 🙂 Could I ask you, how to act when you feel some “toxicity” from one of your parents? I mean someone, who is certainly not the one you want to cut off from your life.. Do you have to accept it and be aware, or are there any magic methods how to nicely change the person? (I’ve read that change someone is almost impossible :).

  19. Ameliarose14

    I grew up with this person-she and I were best friends as kids. We had fallen out of contact after awhile, but about 7 years ago we ran into each other again. At first, it was like the “old days”, just laughing and joking, having a good time. Suddenly though, it was like a switch was flipped in her mind as soon as I confided some rather personal struggles with her. Suddenly she was using that information I had trusted her with, as a way to constantly hurt me. For so long, I really did believe maybe I was over-reacting by no longer wanting to associate myself with her. It took 6 years to finally realize that she was an incredibly toxic individual-she was real quick to use my husband and I for a lot of money and even stole from us (we will never get any of the money back). Then I heard her bragging how she stole from one of her neighbors when they were out of town for a week. Then it clicked for me: I NEEDED to get her out of my life, and only when I looked at it from the perspective of “this is wrong; I have to start taking care of myself emotionally; I can’t continue wondering if it’s me, when I know that it’s not.” that I finally got her out of my life. I told her flat out that I deserved much better in a friend, that she was clearly never my friend, because of her behavior towards me, and that I was done with her and her bs. Despite her tears, and all the other crap she tried to come up with to try to make me take pity on her, I walked away-I have NO regrets about that. If I had to do it all again, it wouldn’t take me 6 years to walk away, but “you live and you learn” as some people say. Nothing more than a valuable and tough life lesson.

  20. Emma

    Thank you for this useful article, and your whole website in general – I love it!

    I had a question: I recognise someone close to me in one of the toxic person personas (#5). However, I care about him deeply and think it has to do with a lack of self confidence. Do you have any tips or a follow up article on how to handle these different types of personas?

    Thank you!

  21. Bleu

    Thank you! This helps a lot. I spend years figuring out why I put up and believe certain people to just realize that their traits are listed in one of the types. You helped me to understand it better.

  22. Joan miller

    I have learned a lot from this, and now I know I’ll be staying away from a person who is very toxic to me . I’ll not let her into my life again. Thanks.


    My husband of five years has the sympyoms of a toxic person. He does not want me to express my feelings and he reacts with anger outbursts. He is very dishonest, cheating . We are now separated for six months .he is not protective of me and insensitive. hE had a tendency of lashing out at me in public.This has drained me as now i dont want to him near me. Whenever he is around, i feel very depressed. I now feel stress free since we are separated.

  24. Terri

    After 35 years I just ended a business partnership with a person who has every trait listed. When the partnership was ending they would call me a insult me. The day it ended I was so happy, 8am another bad phone call ending with them telling me that they were going to directly compete with me in business. This has been working overtime stealing employees and spreading hate about me. The employees who left have been offered the world. This is the sad part, this person is my brother, I have kids and they really loved him. After he called and told me he plans to ruin my business I decided that my kids could no longer go stay at his house. These people are so scary, once you get on third bad side they seem to be solely focused on destruction.

  25. My 37-year-old stepson and his 35-year-old wife never seem to come around myself and my husband until they want us to babysit their kids. Since both my husband and I are retired, they seem to think that all we should be doing now is babysitting for them while they work. I have babysat for them in the past, but this one particular time they came by early one morning without calling me to drop their child off for me to watch all day. I didn’t appreciate that especially because I wasn’t feeling well. I let them know that. They both got upset with me and didn’t visited us in two years . They only started coming back around two weeks ago, the day before school started. And even then they were “hinting” about us babysitting their kids. They are both fully employed and day care centers are available . It appears that they only want to use us, particularly , me as a day care center. I really get negative vibes whenever they are around.

  26. Add one more – someone is always blaming others for the internal responses that cause them pain. Living in denial they dissociate from what is going on inside of themselves and conclude they must get away from the people that “make” them feel what was already inside of them!

    Don’t try to get away from this person, do your inner worn and heal 🙂

  27. Dany

    Hi! It would be great if you could make a video about what happens and what to do when YOU’re the toxic one :
    Thanks! 🙂

    1. Danielle McRae

      Thanks for checking it out, Nejc. Welcome to the Science of People community!

      Danielle | Science of People Team

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