Feeling Left Out? 18 Science-Backed Ways to Cope and Connect

Everyone has felt socially excluded at some point in their life. It can be lonely and painful. There is a reason for this: Being left out can trigger a primal neurological fear of rejection.

When you’re feeling left out by friends, it’s easy to get in your head about why they haven’t included you. You may even cascade into an emotional drama of distress, insecurity, and self-doubt.

Luckily, there are several ways to stay grounded and soothe the pain of being excluded from the group. Here’s how to deal with feeling left out.

Why Wanting to Be Included is Normal

Humans have an evolutionary need for belonging. Since the earliest Homo sapiens, people have lived as herd animals, reliant on their tribes to protect them from danger.

Contrary to the rugged individualistic assertion that “other people’s opinions don’t matter” or “it’s me against the world,” it is completely normal to want to be in a group.

Of course, it’s not healthy to morph yourself or pretend to be someone you’re not just for fitting in. But trying to convince yourself that you can get by without social acceptance can sometimes do more harm than good.

The “Need to Belong” theory asserts that humans absolutely need a social connection to survive. Although many avoidantly attached people may claim to be fine without intimate relationships, friendships are scientifically proven to benefit your life in profound ways:

• Quality friends improve your health.
• Friendships are the number one indicator of joy and happiness.
• Social connections link to longevity.
• Sociability reduces your risk of sickness.
• Friendship strengthens your self-esteem.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be included. 

For deeper insights on building social connections that ensure you’re always included, check out the best-selling book:

Understanding Attachment Styles and Inclusion

Our reaction to feeling left out is often shaped by our attachment style—the pattern of how we form emotional bonds with others. This pattern typically develops in early childhood but continues to influence our adult relationships.

The four main attachment styles are:

• Secure attachment: People with this style generally feel comfortable with intimacy and are likely to form healthy, trusting relationships.
• Anxious attachment: These individuals crave closeness but often worry about being abandoned or rejected.
• Avoidant attachment: People with this style tend to value independence and may struggle with intimacy.
• Fearful attachment: This combines anxious and avoidant patterns, often resulting in confusing and inconsistent relationship behaviors.

Research^{1https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/7/2/184/1625374} shows that people with anxious attachment styles typically experience rejection more intensely and may feel left out or even when it isn’t intended.

Action Tip: Take the Attachment Style Quiz to uncover how childhood experiences might have shaped your approach to interpersonal relationships as an adult.

9 Signs You’re Being Left Out

Are you being excluded from your friend groups? Not everyone is straightforward about whether or not they want you around.

If you notice these subtle signals from your friends, they may be leaving you out:

1. They leave quickly without telling you where they are going: You notice the group suddenly dispersing after an event or gathering without mentioning their next destination, even though you can tell they’re continuing the hangout elsewhere.
2. They cancel plans with you last minute: They consistently back out of arrangements with you hours before you’re supposed to meet, often with vague excuses that don’t quite add up.
3. They don’t invite you to their parties or events: You discover through social media or other friends that there was a birthday party, housewarming, or other gathering that you weren’t told about, despite being part of the usual social circle.
4. They ignore your text messages or don’t return your calls: Your messages sit unread for days or get brief, delayed responses, even though you can see they’re active online or responding quickly to others.
5. They say they’re busy, then post photos on social media or hang out with other people: Shortly after telling you they “can’t make it” because they’re “swamped with work” or “need a quiet night in,” you see Instagram stories of them out enjoying themselves with others.
6. They avoid discussing a certain event or topic with you: Conversations suddenly go quiet or get redirected when you bring up particular gatherings or activities, with people exchanging uncomfortable glances.
7. They tell white lies about what they were up to the past weekend: When you ask about their weekend, they give vague or obviously incomplete accounts, later contradicted by what you hear from others or see in photos.
8. They provide vague answers like “I’m busy” or “oh, nothing much”: Instead of sharing specific details about their plans or activities, they consistently offer non-committal responses that shut down further conversation.
9. They have the same excuse every time you want to hang out: Whether it’s “I have a family thing” or “I’m not feeling well,” you notice the same reason being recycled whenever you suggest getting together, without ever offering alternative times.

Sometimes, feeling left out can indicate that someone simply might not want to be your friend (and that’s okay!). For a comprehensive guide on figuring out if this is the case, check out our article: 12 Signs Someone Doesn’t Want to Be Your Friend (Plus Tips) 

Looking to ditch toxic “friends” and make new ones? Watch our video:

18 Ways to Deal With Feeling Left Out

When you feel like you’re on the outside looking in, sometimes your mind can go to dark places. Social exclusion hurts, but there are several things you can do to manage your emotions and soften the sting.

Create a Connection Circle Map

One powerful way to address the root cause of feeling left out is to gain clarity about your social connections. 

Creating a visual map of your relationships can help you identify areas where you might need more connection or where existing relationships could be strengthened.

Here’s how to create your connection circle map:

1. Draw a series of concentric circles on a piece of paper, with you at the center
2. In the first ring closest to you, write the names of your closest friends and family—those you can call at 3 AM in an emergency
3. In the second ring, place your good friends who you see regularly
4. In the third ring, add casual friends and friendly acquaintances
5. In the outer ring, include people you know but don’t connect with often

Once you’ve completed your map, ask yourself:

• Are there enough people in my inner circles?
• Are there people I’d like to move from outer circles to inner ones?
• Are there any circles that feel empty and need attention?
• Am I putting too much pressure on too few relationships?

This exercise helps you see if you’re relying too much on specific people or groups, which might increase feelings of exclusion when those particular relationships hit bumps.

Action Tip: After completing your connection circle map, identify one person from each circle that you’d like to strengthen your relationship with. Make a plan to reach out to each of them in the coming week.

Avoid Catastrophizing

The psychological phenomenon of catastrophizing explains why people often fabricate situations in their heads that exaggerate the negative parts of a painful experience like rejection.

Though you may be trying to make sense of your emotions, anxiety and worrisome thoughts can actually lead to more emotional distress.

When you feel left out, it’s important not to think yourself into a black hole of “what ifs” and “whys.” The truth is that you never know what is actually happening in people’s lives.

First, consider that your friends may not be purposefully rejecting you. For example, if your colleagues ended up grabbing a drink after work without you, maybe the decision was spontaneous as they were walking out of the office. They may not have intentionally made plans ahead of time that excluded you.

In other instances, a certain group of people may have forgone inviting you simply because they knew you wouldn’t be interested in the discussion topics or the location they were meeting up:

• If you’re a vegan and your friends are going to a steakhouse, they likely didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable by bringing you along.
• If a couple of friends are meeting up to have a playdate with their kids or dogs, maybe they didn’t invite you because you don’t have any kids or dogs.
• If you know that your friends went out for coffee and yoga on Saturday without inviting you, they may have planned it ahead of time, thinking you were busy or uninterested in yoga.

It’s easy to spiral into thinking “they don’t like me,” “I’m not good enough,” or “they think I’m a weirdo,” but these catastrophic thoughts can be very unproductive for your emotional state.

Next time you find yourself assuming the worst, pause and consider the many innocent explanations that could account for your exclusion. 

Pro Tip: Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to actively plot to leave you out. Remember this to help ease the sting of feeling excluded and allow you to respond from a place of confidence rather than insecurity.

Do a Social Media Cleanse

Studies^{2https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1745691617713052?journalCode=ppsa} show that heavy social media use is associated with loneliness. In a world bombarded by the “highlight reel” of other people’s lives, social media can often make you feel left out from all the fun others are having.

Looking at photos of your friends enjoying themselves can elicit feelings of jealousy, rejection, and FOMO. 

If you can discipline yourself to delete a few apps or turn off your phone for a while, you may find that being present in your current reality can bring you more fulfillment than scrolling through other people’s lives. You can even try a complete digital detox. 

Action Tip: When you’re feeling left out of social gatherings, avoid looking at social media for a few days to a week. Delete Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, and any other apps you regularly use (don’t worry, your account will still be there when you want to log back in). Instead of checking social media, try to meet people in your city or learn to be more creative.

Distract Yourself with New Interests

Distracting yourself can be one of the simplest ways to deal with feeling left out.

Instead of ruminating about what you did wrong or if your friends still like you, you can reframe the experience into something positive. What if being excluded was a blessing in disguise? If you repeatedly hang out with the same people and do the same things, you may not be getting out of your comfort zone as often as you’d like.

An open night or weekend gives you time to de-stress, relax, and try out new interests that you wouldn’t otherwise explore:

• Revisit a childhood passion
• Get lost in someone else’s life for a little while with a fascinating novel or movie
• Attend a class to learn something new
• Treat yourself to a self-care day
• Take a road trip to a nearby city
• Try out one of these 80 Productive (And Fun) Things to Do When You’re Bored

The world is a big place full of new people to meet and rich experiences. Get out there and try something new to remedy the FOMO (fear of missing out) blues. You’ll have something new to talk about and maybe even make new friends.

Action Tip: Research shows that social rejection can actually fuel creativity^{3https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22889163/}. Try channeling your negative emotions into a creative project such as journaling, drawing, writing, carpentry, or music.

Feel Your Emotions, Don’t Suppress Them

Studies^{4https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12916575/} show that suppressing emotions can lead to more negative mental health outcomes than facing them head-on.

It’s no surprise that being excluded from social situations can lead to feelings of rejection as psychologically difficult as physical pain. Frankly, it sucks.

If your cousin doesn’t include you in her wedding party or your friends host a get-together without you, it’s OK to be upset about it.

Instead of suppressing your emotions, try taking time to process and unpack what you’re feeling:

• Journal about your thoughts (more on this later!): What hurts most about this situation? Does it remind you of an experience of rejection?
• Practice deep breathing or a guided meditation: Grounding yourself in your breath can help bring the focus away from the external world back into your inner self. Try this 10-minute meditation for dealing with rejection.
• Take a walk: Notice the small details like shapes of clouds, bird songs, or flowers that are currently blooming.
• Listen to music: Music is scientifically proven to reduce stress and improve your mood.
• Try exercise or yoga: Getting your sweat on can help you channel your emotion into a physical challenge.
• Talk to another trusted friend or family member: Ask someone close to you for a few minutes of their time to allow you to vent and talk through why you feel left out. Be sure to clearly express if you want advice, a pep talk, or just a metaphorical “shoulder to cry on.”
• Create an emotion map: An emotion map helps you build a vocabulary to describe your emotions and responses.

Pro Tip: The Dalai Lama and Dr. Paul Ekman worked together to create an online tool called the Atlas of Emotions, the ultimate emotion map exercise to illuminate your emotional experience and help you navigate difficult feelings.

Journal About Your Joy

When we’re feeling left out, our minds tend to focus disproportionately on what’s missing from our lives. Practicing journalling can help rewire your brain to notice and appreciate positive experiences, especially during periods of feeling excluded.

Studies^{5https://mental.jmir.org/2018/4/e11290/} show that consistent positive emotion journaling can effectively counter the negative emotional effects of rejection and significantly improve overall mental wellbeing.

Here’s how to implement this practice:

1. Get a dedicated notebook or digital journal specifically for recording moments of joy
2. Each day, write down 3-5 specific joyful moments you experienced
3. For each entry, include:
   • What exactly happened
   • How it made you feel physically and emotionally
   • Why this moment was meaningful to you
   • Any gratitude you feel related to the experience

Try to be as specific and sensory as possible. Instead of “I had a nice coffee break,” write something like “The warmth of the ceramic mug between my palms while watching the rain outside the cafe window gave me a moment of perfect contentment.”

This practice is especially powerful because it:

• Creates a physical record of positive experiences you can revisit
• Trains your attention to notice positive moments as they happen
• Builds resilience by reinforcing that joy exists alongside difficult feelings
• Provides perspective during times of social exclusion

Pro Tip: Keep your journal by your bedside and make it part of your evening routine. Ending each day by recording moments of joy helps counteract the negativity bias that might otherwise dominate your thoughts about the day.

Take Yourself Out on a Date

Spending time alone is correlated with greater confidence, more creativity, higher emotional intelligence, and greater emotional stability in challenging situations.

If you feel left out, it might help to turn inward and focus on your self-love, reflection, and fun experiences you can have on your own. A really fun way to do this is by taking yourself on a date:

• Get dressed up in your favorite outfit
• Choose one of your favorite restaurants or try a new cuisine
• Bring along a good book, podcast, journal, or sketchbook if you want to do something creative while you eat
• Celebrate a few things you love about yourself while you enjoy the delicious meal
• People-watch or strike up conversations with the wait staff

This video explains a simple three-step solution to overcome your fear of being alone:

Action Tip: A fear of being alone can be a common cause of clingy or attached behaviors. If you think you might be acting a little clingy with your friends, read our article on How to Not Be Clingy: 9 Ways to End Neediness in Relationships

Check That You Clearly Expressed Your Availability

Often feeling left out can result from simple miscommunications:

• Maybe your friends thought you were too busy with your job to go shopping on a weekday.
• Perhaps you accidentally texted them the wrong date or time for an event, and they planned something else without you.
• Maybe you just forgot to confirm a clear “yes” or “no” to an invite.

Action Tip: To avoid feeling left out, make sure you are clearly communicating when you have free time to hang out. Better yet, create your plans and invite them. Send your friends a quick text on a group chat about an open window of time that you’d like to make plans for.

Openly Communicate How You Feel

Honest and clear communication is the key to any successful relationship. While it may feel awkward, sometimes the best way to deal with feeling left out is to express how you feel openly.

Psychologist and researcher Brene Brown asserts that vulnerability is essential to deepening relationships, so don’t be afraid to open up a bit of your true emotions.

“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.” – Brené Brown

When communicating that you’ve been feeling excluded, it’s best to avoid sounding accusatory or attacking:

• “You should have invited me.”
• “I thought you cared about me, but you keep leaving me out.”
• “You keep ignoring me.”
• “I invite you to places all the time, but you never invite me.”

Instead, focus on “I” statements that express your experience without projecting your insecurities onto the other person:

• “Honestly, I felt a little left out when you and the girls went out to dinner last weekend without me.”
• “I’ve been feeling a bit more distant in our friendship lately. Just wanted to check in to see if you’re doing OK.”
• “I miss hanging out with you. Do you want to meet up soon?”
• “Sometimes I feel excluded from the family when you do things without me.”
• “I noticed that we aren’t hanging out as much anymore. Have I done anything to upset or annoy you?”

Watch our video below to learn how to speak more slowly using these 5 simple tips:

Action Tip: Sometimes, people may exclude you from situations because they feel annoyed by you or awkward in your presence. It may help to do some self-reflection and work on your social skills so that you don’t come across as annoying. This article might help: This is Why People Find You Annoying (& How to Fix It!)

Invite People to Do Things With You

If no one invited you to the party, have your own! Instead of waiting on others to invite you to social events, create your own sense of belonging by making plans and inviting people to them.

The most popular people are known for acting as the “social glue” of their friend circles. They bring people together by…

• Hosting events
• Initiating plans
• Introducing their friends to each other
• Inviting people to hang out

Next thing you know, people might be asking you if they can tag along with your plans!

New to hosting? We’ve got you covered with guides on a variety of different events and gatherings:

• How to Throw a Party: 11 Steps to Epic Nights
• The Ultimate Game Night: 31 Ideas & How to Host One
• How to Host an Unforgettable Christmas Party (& Survive One)
• 16 Great Tips to Make Friends by Hosting People

Pro Tip: Magnetizing a circle of friends comes down to improving your people skills and becoming more likable. If you want to be more popular, try these 16 Science-Backed Tips to Attract Friends.

Meet New Friends

Friends who regularly leave you feeling left out of their plans may not be the best friends to have. If you start to notice signs that your friends are toxic or you have a lot of fake friendships, try redirecting your energy into more fulfilling new relationships.

Making new friends may seem intimidating at first, but there are actually more ways to meet people than ever before:

• Regularly go out to local cafes, restaurants, bars, or concerts
• Minimize using your phone in public so you can have more conversations
• Try a friendship app to connect with likeminded people online
• Learn some killer conversation starters to initiate interesting connections
• Join a class or group to learn a new skill
• Use one of these 50 Ways to Meet New People in ANY City

Action Step: Watch our video on how to make friends with ANYONE:

Practice Radical Self-Acceptance

When feeling left out, our self-critical voice often gets louder. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “There must be something wrong with me” can dominate our thinking. Radical self-acceptance is about acknowledging your inherent worth regardless of external validation.

Research^{6https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01973533.2020.1726748} shows that self-compassion—treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a good friend—significantly reduces the emotional impact of rejection.

Try this three-step self-acceptance practice:

1. Mindfulness: Notice your painful feelings without judgment. “I’m feeling hurt about being left out of the dinner plan.”
2. Common humanity: Remind yourself that feeling excluded is a universal human experience. “Many people feel left out sometimes; I’m not alone in this experience.”
3. Self-kindness: Speak to yourself with compassion. “It’s okay to feel hurt. This doesn’t define my worth.”

When practiced regularly, this approach helps build resilience against the sting of exclusion by creating an internal source of validation.

Pro Tip: Create a self-acceptance mantra that resonates with you, such as “I am enough exactly as I am” or “My worth doesn’t depend on inclusion.” Repeat it when feeling excluded to interrupt negative thought patterns.

Examine Your Core Values

Sometimes feeling left out stems from trying to fit into groups that don’t align with our authentic selves. Taking time to identify and honor your core values can help you seek connections that truly nourish you.

Research in positive psychology suggests that living in alignment with our values leads to greater fulfillment and resilience against social rejection.

Start by identifying your top 5-7 core values from categories like:

• Connection: Friendship, love, belonging, intimacy
• Achievement: Success, mastery, recognition, accomplishment
• Autonomy: Independence, freedom, self-sufficiency
• Growth: Learning, challenge, development, wisdom
• Service: Helping others, contribution, generosity
• Creativity: Innovation, originality, self-expression
• Well-being: Health, balance, presence, peace

Once you’ve identified your values, ask yourself: “Are the social groups I’m trying to join aligned with these values?”

Often, the pain of exclusion is intensified when we seek belonging in groups that don’t reflect what truly matters to us. When we connect with people who share our core values, the relationship tends to be more authentic and fulfilling.

Action Tip: For each of your top values, identify one specific social activity or group that would allow you to express that value. For example, if creativity is a core value, you might join a local art collective or writing group.

Develop a Fulfillment Inventory

Sometimes when we’re feeling left out, we over-focus on what we’re missing rather than appreciating what we have. Creating a fulfillment inventory helps redirect your attention to the meaningful aspects of your life that exist regardless of any particular social inclusion.

This is similar to practicing gratitude, which research shows can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness and increase overall life satisfaction.

Your fulfillment inventory should include:

1. Meaningful achievements: Professional accomplishments, personal milestones, challenges overcome
2. Skills and talents: Abilities you’ve developed, ways you create or contribute
3. Impact on others: How you’ve positively affected people, even in small ways
4. Sources of joy: Activities that bring you genuine pleasure
5. Growth experiences: How you’ve evolved and what you’ve learned
6. Future possibilities: Opportunities and potential on your horizon

Review and update this inventory regularly, especially when feeling excluded! This practice helps maintain perspective and reminds you that your worth and fulfillment extend far beyond any individual social situation.

Action Tip: Create a specific social fulfillment section in your inventory that lists positive interactions and connections from the past month, no matter how small. This helps combat the tendency to filter out positive social experiences when feeling rejected.

Reframe Your Narrative About Social Exclusion

How we interpret and talk about experiences of feeling left out can significantly impact our emotional response and future social interactions.

Many of us develop unhelpful narratives when excluded, such as:

• “I’m always the odd one out”
• “No one ever thinks to include me”
• “I must be fundamentally unlikable”

These stories become self-fulfilling prophecies, affecting how we approach social situations and interpret ambiguous interactions.

Try these narrative-shifting techniques:

• Replace “always” and “never” statements with specific, time-limited observations: “I wasn’t included this time” instead of “I’m always left out”
• Challenge your interpretation by asking: “What evidence contradicts my negative story?”
• Create an alternative narrative that acknowledges pain but maintains agency: “This exclusion hurts, but it’s an opportunity to reassess what kind of connections I truly want”
• Document instances when you were included to counterbalance the rejection narrative
• Practice telling your social story to a trusted friend who can help identify distortions

Fascinating neuroscience research^{7https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ana.21534} shows that deliberately changing how we think about situations actually helps rewire our brain, making positive thinking easier over time.

Action Tip: Create a narrative reset journal entry whenever you feel excluded. Write down your immediate interpretation, then consciously craft a more balanced and empowering story about the same event. Review these entries periodically to notice patterns and track your progress in developing healthier social narratives.

Address Feeling Left Out at Work

Feeling left out at work can be particularly challenging since we spend so much of our time with colleagues. Workplace exclusion can affect both your emotional wellbeing and career advancement opportunities.

Studies^{8https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.641302/full} show that workplace ostracism can significantly impact job satisfaction, productivity, and even physical health. Here are targeted strategies for professional settings:

1. Identify the type of exclusion:
   • Information exclusion (being left out of important communications)
   • Social exclusion (not being invited to informal gatherings)
   • Decision exclusion (being left out of key decisions)
   • Professional development exclusion (missing opportunities for growth)
2. Build professional relationships intentionally:
   • Schedule regular one-on-one coffee meetings with colleagues
   • Join or initiate cross-departmental projects
   • Volunteer for committees or planning teams
   • Participate in professional development groups
3. Communicate professionally about exclusion:
   • With a supervisor: “I noticed I wasn’t included in the project planning meeting. I’d like to contribute to these discussions as they relate to my role.”
   • With colleagues: “I’d love to join for lunch next time. Could you let me know when you’re planning to go?”
4. Focus on value-adding:
   • Identify specific ways you can contribute meaningfully to projects
   • Share credit generously with teammates
   • Offer assistance when others are overloaded
   • Become known for a particular skill or area of expertise
   • Read out article on How to Be Indispensable at Work: 7 Bold Tips

Pro Tip: Create a visibility plan that includes regularly sharing updates on your work, participating actively in meetings, and finding opportunities to collaborate with different team members. Increased visibility often leads to greater inclusion.

For more tips on feeling happier at work, check out our video:

Heal From Feeling Left Out by Family

Feeling left out by family can be especially painful because these are the relationships we often expect to be most secure and accepting. Family exclusion may occur at gatherings, in decision-making, or through ongoing patterns of favoritism.

Here are approaches that can help:

1. Acknowledge historical patterns:
   • Recognize how family roles and dynamics were established
   • Understand that exclusion may not be personal but part of longstanding systems
   • Identify specific triggers or situations where you typically feel excluded
2. Set clear boundaries:
   • Decide which family situations are worth engaging in and which might be better to limit
   • Communicate your expectations directly: “I’d like to be included in the holiday planning this year”
   • Be prepared to enforce boundaries with loving consistency
3. Build your chosen family:
   • Cultivate deep connections with friends who provide the acceptance you might not get from family
   • Create your own traditions and celebrations that feel inclusive and nurturing
   • Remember that meaningful family connections can be created, not just inherited
4. Focus on one-to-one relationships:
   • Sometimes family group dynamics are more challenging than individual relationships
   • Invest in strengthening bonds with specific family members who are receptive
   • Create opportunities for connection outside of large family gatherings

Action Tip: Before major family events, identify one person in the family with whom you can check in if you start feeling excluded. Let them know in advance that you sometimes feel left out and would appreciate their support in staying connected during the gathering.

Collect Inspiring Quotes for Feeling Left Out

Quotes for feeling left out can provide perspective, comfort, and motivation when you’re struggling with exclusion. 

Create a collection of quotes that resonate with you and review them when feeling excluded. Here are some powerful ones to start with:

On Self-Worth:

• “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” — Harvey Fierstein
• “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” — Oscar Wilde 
• “You are enough, a thousand times enough.” — Atticus

On Growth Through Difficulty:

• “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” — Rumi
• “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” — J.K. Rowling
• “Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.” — Christine Caine

Action Tip: Create a “Quotes for Strength” folder in your phone’s notes app or on a cloud service you can access anywhere. Add to it whenever you find a quote that speaks to you, and review it when you’re feeling left out or excluded.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About Feeling Left Out

Why do I feel left out by my friends or family?

Feeling left out by friends or family can stem from miscommunication, evolving relationship dynamics, or different expectations about inclusion. Sometimes exclusion happens unintentionally when plans are spontaneous or others assume you wouldn’t be interested. Our brains are wired to be highly sensitive to rejection, so even minor oversights can trigger significant feelings of exclusion. Understanding these internal and external factors can help you respond more effectively.

What can I do when I feel left out at work or in social groups?

When feeling left out at work or socially, take proactive steps. Increase your visibility through thoughtful contributions and voluntary participation. Create connection opportunities by initiating lunches or suggesting team activities. Develop valuable skills that make you an asset to projects and conversations. If exclusion persists, have a direct but non-accusatory conversation with colleagues. Remember that all relationships require ongoing investment and clear communication.

How can I cope with feeling excluded by my friend group?

Coping with feeling left out requires both emotional management and practical action. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Avoid catastrophizing by considering alternative explanations beyond personal rejection. Practice self-compassion and engage in self-esteem building activities. Have honest conversations using “I” statements when appropriate. Consider expanding your social circle to ensure you’re not overly dependent on one group for belonging.

What are healthy ways to handle feeling left out as an adult?

Healthy approaches include acknowledging feelings without self-judgment through journaling or talking with trusted people. Practice self-care activities that reaffirm your worth. Develop social skills through courses or practice. Take initiative by planning events rather than waiting for invitations. Evaluate whether current relationships meet your needs, and cultivate connections that better align with your values. Remember that occasional exclusion is universal and doesn’t define your worth.

Why do I always feel left out, and how can I change it?

If you consistently feel left out across different situations, look for patterns in your experiences and responses. Check for cognitive distortions like mind-reading or overgeneralizing. Consider whether past exclusion has made you hypersensitive to potential rejection. Build self-confidence through achievements and positive self-talk. Develop social skills, particularly conversation reciprocity. If persistent feelings significantly impact your life, professional support can help address underlying issues like social anxiety or attachment insecurities.

How do I talk to friends about feeling left out?

Discuss feeling left out in a private, relaxed setting rather than in groups or when emotions run high. Use “I” statements that express feelings without blame: “I felt disappointed when I heard about the gathering afterward” rather than “You excluded me.” Focus on specific instances rather than generalizations. Listen openly to their perspective. Clearly express what would help you feel more included with concrete suggestions. Remember that vulnerability often strengthens meaningful friendships.

Are there quotes or strategies to feel better when excluded?

Yes, inspiring quotes for feeling left out like “What other people think of me is none of my business” (Wayne Dyer) can provide perspective. Effective strategies include practicing mindfulness, engaging in physical exercise, pursuing creative activities, and focusing on gratitude for existing connections. Remember that many successful people have experienced exclusion—what matters is how you respond and grow from these challenges.

How to Deal With Being Left Out

Being left out can trigger the most vulnerable and painful insecurities from childhood. But sometimes, your emotional reaction to social rejection can make things harder than they need to be. 

To deal with being left out of a social situation, try practicing healthy ways of coping and moving forward: 

• Avoid catastrophizing and excessively worrying or wondering why your friends left you out. Instead, give your friends the benefit of the doubt and 
• Take a break from social media to avoid feeling FOMO when looking at photos of your friends. Temporarily delete your primary social apps and use these tips for a 10-day digital detox.
• Distract yourself by getting creative or trying out new hobbies. Get absorbed in someone else’s life for a while through a novel, movie, or asking people about themselves. 
• Work through your emotions rather than suppressing them; try journaling, meditating, or talking with a trusted friend or family member.
• Take yourself on a date to your favorite restaurant. 
• Openly communicate how you feel. Sometimes being vulnerable with your friends can help deepen your friendship and correct any miscommunications. 
• Create your plans and invite other people to come along. Instead of ruminating over friends who left you out of their plans, you can forge new social connections by asking acquaintances to join you for a movie, drink, class, or concert. 

Wanting to belong is completely natural and even essential to survival. You deserve friends who make you feel like a part of the group, but you can’t always control how other people treat you. 

You can, however, become more confident in yourself so that you don’t feel so sensitive to rejection. Learn How to Build Rock-Solid Self-Esteem in 8 Weeks (or Less!) to feel more empowered to love who you are regardless of the social situation.