Why do first dates get all the pain and glory in relationships? Sure, they can be nerve-wracking and exciting, but after a fantastic date #1, it’s your second date ideas that need to build on a beautiful first impression.
Good Second Date Ideas
Where to go on a second date? From dinner date ideas to creative date ideas, you’ll find plenty of buffers here against awkward pauses in conversation—but there’s more.
How do you create a more satisfying and meaningful connection with someone? Read on for specific tips and insights into what your person is thinking and feeling with deep questions that won’t make them feel pressured.
Dinner Date Ideas
These activity-based dinner date ideas take regular dates up a notch. So be inspired to plan a second date that’s not only romantic and memorable but also able to create a foundation for where your relationship goes in the future. The action steps included here can guide you!
Get Cooking (or learn how to cook together)
If you already enjoy cooking, making dinner for your date is a romantic power move. Of course, you’re in charge of the evening, but you can also be a fun and flirtatious hostess. They’ll eat it up!
Or learn how to cook together. Try a new recipe. I highly recommend the show Amy Schumer Learns to Cook — watch an episode together and then try a dish. I love their honey-glazed wings.
Action Steps: If cooking intimidates you, prep side dishes and dessert beforehand. If they ask to help—have them open wine, fold napkins on the table, or set out water. Meal kits delivered with easy instructions are another popular option, and you can cook together!
Go on a Food Crawl
No, these aren’t phone apps. It’s an “any time of day date” where you sample smaller plates by visiting different eateries, restaurant counters, or food trucks! You can both choose some spots and make an adventure of it.
Go to one restaurant for appetizers, another for the main course, another for dessert.
Action Steps: The best part of this date is the spontaneity, but it’s a good idea to check ahead at a few sitdown places to make sure their location isn’t fully booked or if there’s bar seating just in case.
Take a basket
Being outdoors on a second date can be casual and comfortable, and enjoying a picnic in a natural environment is often more private and relaxing, an ideal situation for calm personality types.
You can do your local park or try hiking to a local waterfall, watching planes land at the airport, or watching a local sports team.
Action Steps: Finger foods like cucumber sandwiches, fried chicken, cheeses, and a fruit/veggie tray are easier to pack and eat (and you can feed each other grapes!). Bring a comfy blanket to sit on, non-alcoholic drinks, and be close enough to a restroom for comfort.
Be eye-opening
Dining with a rooftop view or against a spectacular backdrop sets a fantastic mood. Better-known establishments may have longer waitlists and a stuffier attitude, so go for walk-in seating around the bar or on a patio.
Sometimes museums have great views from the top. See if any public buildings in your city offer a viewing deck.
Action Steps: A romantic atmosphere with a view is an excellent indicator that your date wants to impress you. You may want to try hard to exceed their expectations, but relax and just be you because authenticity rules when it comes to attractive qualities.
Go to the market
Want to take some pressure off of making conversation while feeling free to sample homemade goodies and wander around like you can’t do during a movie? A local farmer’s market is just the ticket for a refreshing second date.
Action Steps: Open outdoor events can seem random and a bit chaotic, and they might not be the most comfortable if you feel socially awkward. Breathe deep and take it in. Enjoy some tasty treats and kid around with some vendors. Most of all, have fun!
Build a meal
A fun, impromptu-feeling date is visiting a specialty food store together. You each grab a basket and buy some crackers, cheeses, meats, olives, or pickles to take home and blend into your charcuterie platter. It’s a tasty way to see what their eyes eat first!
Action Steps: Be sure to let each other know about any food allergies or absolute dislikes. When you’re at the checkout, don’t forget to do a quick comparison of your baskets to make sure you’re not duplicating items, and be adventurous if they’ve chosen an item you haven’t tried before.
Creative Date Ideas
Dating doesn’t always have to involve putting food in your mouth!
For a couple in the early stages of a relationship, creative dates away from the table go a long way in establishing intimacy. Check out these actionable tips for unique creative date ideas and take traditional second date thinking outside the box.
Baby goat yoga!
While therapeutic farms are an emerging trend in mental health care facilities, many farmers are opening their spaces to everyone with hip activities like petting the ducks and rabbits or yoga with goats. As far as memorable dates go, this one is surefire.
Action Steps: There is a potential problem with this idea if your date has allergies. Make sure to discuss it in advance, and if they have concerns, a great alternative is a country drive to visit farms offering apple or berry picking or strolling through a field for a Halloween pumpkin.
Enjoy the splendor
A stroll through a park or forest in autumn is a breathtaking way to spend a second date. If the weather is still warm and cooperative, this also makes an excellent setting for a picnic or to share a warm thermos of apple cider.
Action Steps: If you’re not prepared to glam it down a bit with your footwear, go for a drive to enjoy the fall colors. Proper shoes like comfortable runners with treads are safest for a forest walk, especially if the leaves are damp and potentially slippery on hilly paths.
Beyond Netflix and chill
Binge-watching is always tempting, especially after a long day or week, but early in a relationship, spending an afternoon date playing cards or board games is a great icebreaker. You can also gauge how you and your date handle a little competition.
Here is my list of 30 incredible board games.
Action Steps: Choose a few games to keep it interesting, and don’t be hesitant to learn a new card game if they like it and want to teach you so you can play together again. The science of soulmates reveals that learning can grow a relationship, and you may even find your soulmate!
Look for ghosts
Sometimes it’s a seasonal offering, especially during Halloween, but many cities offer ghost tours throughout the year. It’s better than a scary movie because it’s spontaneous and interactive, and it’s scientifically proven that some people get drawn to fear.
Action Steps: If you’re not fond of scary situations or are concerned about appearing helpless, you’re not alone. Check out these pop-psychology myths for helpful tips on the good ways (and not-so-good ways) to combat fear and anxiety.
Row your boat
Renting a rowboat on a small pond has been a fun date activity for centuries. Traditionally, the man has put out most of the muscle, but don’t be afraid to step in and take a turn with the oars to show off your triceps!
I also love a good paddle boat.
Action Steps: Many city parks offer small non-motorized boat rentals. It’s best to call ahead or check a website for times, costs, and seasonal restrictions, including times when the rentals aren’t available. Remember, safety first. If you’re not a strong swimmer, wear a lifejacket.
Take a tandem spin
Do you like cycling? Riding a bike on well-managed trails or designated lanes in a city is a great outdoor date, and renting a tandem bike together is a fantastic couple activity.
Action Steps: Cycling is fun, but it’s essential to take precautions. Comfortable clothing and runners are a must. Wear a light backpack with a water bottle and snacks in tow. An essential accessory to wear is a properly fitting bike helmet, and take breaks off the cycle to stretch it out.
Act touristy
You live in or near a big city, and some attractions are popular with tourists that you’ve never seen before. Your date may be interested in checking out what they’ve been missing too.
Action Steps: Some attractions offer discounts to area residents or off-season deals, and since this fun date is about imagining you’re on a trip together, why don’t you practice some flirty eyebrow flashing while you’re at it?
Destination unknown
Want a thrilling date with added adventure? Hop in the car and take off. You can (and should) have a general point of direction in mind (country road or a different neighborhood in the city) but let your wandering spirits guide you towards a destination.
Action Steps: Always be clear about the length of a spontaneous date, especially if you don’t know how far away from home you’ll get, and you’re not sure yet about “the next level.” If you’re looking for hidden cues, check out these neck cues to gauge their mood.
Your serve
Ping pong can be competitive, or better yet, a shared sport where you both concentrate on keeping that little ball in play! Ping pong bars have become popular and are springing up in cities everywhere.
Pickleball is also becoming all the rage. Some bars are even setting up pickleball courts on property!
Action Steps: If your ping pong date is going exceptionally well, try this come and get me technique as you paddle to signal your attraction.
Grab a brush
You don’t need to be artistic to enjoy a fun paint night for your second date. Instead, it might be better if you’re both able to kick back and create something wacky together with no expectations of greatness. Try these ideas:
- Ty a new pottery painting class.
- Load up your favorite Bob Ross video on YouTube and follow along!
- Paint a new mural… on your wall!
- Grab your significant other or bestie and paint them. Or do it with a blindfold on.
Action Steps: A creative date can be the most enjoyable when you relax, try something new, even make mistakes, and just be yourself. Once you get the hang of authenticity, it can be the most captivating trait you possess.
Give back
Volunteer at a local soup kitchen, clean up a park or read to some kids at your local library. Acts of service aren’t just heartwarming—they can be sexy and romantic. If you are picturing yourself with a person in the long term, it can be reassuring to see their compassionate side.
Action Steps: Finding out how and where your person wants to volunteer is an excellent indicator of their core values and interests, and cultivating compassion builds your strength of character, self-esteem, and your couple bond.
Checking the fleas
Flea markets can be eye-opening and maybe a tad adventurous, but you could surprise yourselves and dig up a treasure or two! Even if it’s not an activity you do often, hitting up some garage sales is a shared activity that can show off your couple skills.
Action Steps: Observe your date as you nose through garage sales together. Are they courteous to the owners, or do they trash previously loved items as “junk?” Research shows that kindness is the most significant indicator that your person is good relationship material.
Revisit the past
Check out an arcade or go mini-golfing or bowling. Trying out an activity that you both did as kids opens the door to talking about your childhoods and sharing the similarities and differences in your backgrounds.
Action Steps: Sometimes, revisiting the past may wrench up painful memories for your date that they weren’t ready to share yet. Be considerate and don’t force any revelations out of them.
Compare lists
Music lovers know how vital this passion is, especially when your person shares the same tastes in genres and groups. So make your next date a listening party for two! Ask them to bring a playlist of their favorite songs, and prepare your list too.
Action Steps: If your musical tastes don’t match, it’s not necessarily a dealbreaker. Our musical tastes can grow or change over time, and you may get turned on to something new. You don’t need to pretend to like their music and be aware if they’re critical of your taste in tunes.
Second Date Conversations
You’ve got choices to plan a great second date, but when do you start deepening the conversation beyond just fun or filler? If you’re feeling a real connection, there are levels you can take in asking questions that help to build a deeper, more satisfying connection.
The Right Way To Go Deep
Asking someone deep and meaningful questions early on in a relationship isn’t meant to scare them off. On the contrary, what you’re doing sets the stage for a potential lifetime of excellent communication. So keep reading for the first level of deep questions that you can explore together on your second date.
Here are things to consider:
- You’re not interested in “how.” You know the common “how” questions. “How are you?” or “how was your day?” The problem is, “how” questions don’t answer who your person is, what their beliefs are, and what their big picture is for their life.
- Make eye contact. Scientific researchers have found that when people make eye contact, it activates oxytocin chemicals in the brain (the chemical of bonding). So really look into “the windows of their soul,” but always remember to blink to avoid looking odd!
- Realize how to truly connect. People often rely on social media as their primary form of “checking in,” but scrolling through posts and pics is a “how are they” connection… it’s not going deep.
Keep reading for second date questions that answer important “who and what” questions about your date!
Before you prepare yourself to volley questions at someone, take a moment to explore the different ways that people express their feelings and what kinds of relationships satisfy them the most. These are called love languages.
Learn Your Love Language
What is a love language? You may intuitively know how you express love and deeper feelings, even if you’ve never thought about it before. These are all love languages:
- Quality Time. Do you crave significant moments with someone you love where you bond and share meaningful thoughts and conversations? When “stolen moments” matter to you the most, quality time is your specific love language.
- Physical Touch. People who “speak” their love language through physical touching will display how they feel through handholding, hugging, cuddling, or other physical intimacy. A physical toucher may also be drawn to PDA (public displays of affection), though not all are.
- Gifts. It doesn’t always mean extravagant, expensive, or impressive items (they aren’t “buying” love). The love language of gifts can mean genuine tokens of affection like handwritten notes, a flower, or a tasty treat. It’s the “thought that counts” here, not always money being spent.
- Acts of Service. As a love language, acts of service are like gifts that someone performs in the form of action. Service can be as simple as running errands, driving someone to an appointment, cleaning up living spaces, cooking meals, or caring for a loved one when they’re sick. These actions affirm their feelings, and it’s often easier for them to express love like this instead of through words.
- Reassurance and Affirmations. Some people speak a love language through verbal cues and clues that communicate their love and deeper feelings. The phrases they use are meant to reassure and compliment the ones they love and express themselves clearly. Other people need to hear these things and may “fish” for compliments.
One (or more) of these love languages should resonate with you. As you begin asking deep questions of your partner, note their reactions and responses. In time, you’ll better understand how they express love and emotion, which can nurture a more satisfying relationship.
Second Date Questions
As mentioned, there are levels in deep questions, and the question ideas listed here are a good launchpad in getting to know who your person is.
It’s best not to hit someone with all of these questions at once! Instead, take a quiet moment, start with a few, and listen to your person’s thoughts… their answers are the gift here.
- Who’s your ultimate dinner guest, present, past, or pretend?
- Does fame appeal to you, and what kind of famous (acting, music, sports, politics)?
- Do you ever rehearse phone calls or conversations beforehand, and why?
- What’s your idea of a perfect day?
- Have you ever sung to someone, and what song? Do you sing to yourself?
- If you’re 30 years old, let’s say you live until you’re 90. Would you rather have the mind or the body of a 30-year-old for the next 60 years?
- What three things do you wish your partner would share in common with you?
- What do you feel the most grateful for right now in your life?
- If you could gain one special ability overnight, what would you want to wake up with tomorrow?
- If someone gave you a crystal ball right now, what question would you ask about your life, the future, or anything else?
- What’s your dream job, dream trip, or dream goal? What’s keeping you from trying it?
- What is your proudest accomplishment yet?
- What do you value most in a friend?
- What is your best memory?
- Do you believe that love and affection are essential in life?
- If you had only one year left to live, would you change your life and why?
As your relationship progresses, don’t stop asking questions and listening with eye contact. Maintaining a deep interest in your partner has been proven to work in keeping a relationship strong and fresh as a couple grows and changes together.
These Second Date Ideas Are Just the Beginning
Good second date ideas shouldn’t be nerve-wracking, and once you decide where to go on a second date (whether it’s one of these dinner date ideas or more creative date ideas), relax a bit because some of the pressure is off.
Go into your date with the knowledge that you’re going to learn more about this person!
You have some great second date questions at your disposal, and you can try out a fun quiz like the 5 Love Languages to understand the ways you show and express your feelings and the ways you want someone to demonstrate their love for you.
